Catachan

"Vulkan: "Oh-hoho! This planet humbles me to no bounds! Tank-sized scorpipedes, platoon-eating plants, and trench foot for the power-armored!"
Corvus Corax *neck deep in mud*: "WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE HERE?!?! "

– TTS summing up Catachan in a nutshell.

So deadly that not even Daemons want to step foot on it. Literally. When the Great Rift opened, Catachan needed no rescuing because the jungle ATE the daemons. WITHOUT returning them to the Warp.

Catachan (sometimes pronounced as 'Cata-Can' or 'Cata-Chan', we aren't really sure thanks to GW incompetence) is everyone's favourite hellhole. Like a giant overgrown Amazon Rainforest mixed in with Skull Island and Gondwana-circa Early Cretaceous Period, every single iota of Catachan is lethal to human life, from the smallest mites to the largest Catachan Devils. If planets could dream, then even the most blighted of daemon worlds at the core of the Eye of Terror surrounding the very Byssos itself would experience bed-shitting nightmares about the horrors of Catachan. And given how this shitty bumhole is inhabited by the toughest boys and girls around, one must wonder why the Space Marines never bothered to make this planet a recruiting world.

History

Catachan was colonized by humans longer than Imperial records can remember. When the first probes arrived, the planet was a deceptive, calm green orb from orbit but when the colony ships crash-landed and the colonists had no way to escape, they awoke to find themselves on one of the harshest planets in the galaxy. The colonists only barely survived, holed up in their spacecraft against a living, besieging jungle, a battle for survival in which many undoubtedly died.

Catachan Welcomes the Bold and the Brave

As you know, Catachan is not for the faint of heart. Its endless jungles full of armored/poisonous/parasitic nasties are locked in a cycle evolutionary warfare that would send even the Tyranids packing. But if you're dead-set on visiting, here are a few things you should probably watch out for:

Flora

• The Brainleaf - Vinea catachanus dominari: A vegetative carnivore, the Brainleaf is a small, not particularly conspicuous tree able to attach its tendrils to the spine and brain of a person, taking control over their body.
• The Breathweed - Parasitus respirare: A strange organism that seems to be a mixture between plant and fungi. It grows on the side of tree trunks and resembles a vine. If an organism brushes past by the weed, it dissolves into a cloud of airborne spores. If even one lands in the mouth, you only have a brief time to remove it. Unfortunately, it resembles a small blister making it hard to find. Once settled, it takes over the host's tongue like the Terran daemon cymothoa exigua, absorbing nutrients that creates more spores. Once the host dies, the fake tongue dissolves and release even more spores.
• The Spiker - Spina transformatio: Fires its spikes into its victims' bodies, which then releases a mutative chemical which literally turns the person into another Spiker.
• The Venus Mantrap - Vinea malum: A giant carnivorous plant common to jungle Deathworlds. It resembles the Terran Venus Flytrap for which it is named but is far larger, and unlike the flytrap, it is able to move its leaves to attack and consume its prey. The Mantrap consists of a number of mobile leaves attached to a single immobile stem.
• The Spore Tree: The branches of this plant hold dangling flowers which launch a cloud of spores when they detect something moving close by, to carry their seeds to other fertile areas. The spore cloud is so dense, the creature which disturbed the tree often chokes and dies. This is also useful for the spore tree as its victim's decaying body will enrich the ground around its roots.
• The Canak Floater: These bizarre and deadly plants are filled with lighter-than-air gases and drift across the planet with the vagaries of the wind. They have sensitive feeler tentacles, which detect warmth and moisture above the normal local levels. This is usually to detect streams, hot springs and other sources of water, but unfortunately is also sensitive enough to detect the temperature of and moisture changes caused by humans. When it finds such a place, the floater explodes, scattering its seed pods over a wide area. These seedpods have a diamond-hard outer casing with razor-sharp edges and will scythe through anything within range.
• The Miral Catcher: Ground-hugging vegetation which has roots that are extremely sensitive to vibrations in the ground, such as might be caused by an animal wandering past. It looks innocuous enough when dormant, but when it attacks, huge tentacles whip from its many frilled maws and lash out. They carry a paralysing toxin, which acts almost instantaneously.
• The Sucker Tree: Fairly innocuous-looking to the untrained eye, it is simply a fungal-like growth on top of a seemingly normal trunk. However, the trunk can twist and turn when it detects prey, bending over to drop its suckers on top of the heads of its victims. It quickly drains them of their life fluids and then flings the corpse away, to ensure that future victims are not made suspicious by a pile of bodies.
• The Spitting Cactus: A deadly form of jungle cacti, it is able to fire toxin-coated spines directly at nearby prey.
• The Catachan Mantrap: While having a similar name to the Venus Mantrap, it uses a much more aggressive hunting technique. It can move its leaves around, actively searching out prey and clamping its jaw-like leaves around its victims.
• The Stranglevine: Prefers shady spots to grow in, where their distinctive tube-like trunks are hidden from view. When they detect the disturbance caused by a passing animal, their long, highly adhesive stamen uncoil, wrapping themselves around their prey and dragging them back to die of dehydration.
• Shardwrack Spines: Also known as "devil's-teeth", they are an evasive species of jagged formations of fossilized organic matter that have hardened over thousands of year forming razor-sharp walls of crystalline growth bursting from the ground. A usual sight on any deathworld – menacing, bizarre battle zones that only the strongest or the most foolhardy would dare fight on. They form impenetrable barriers that hamper movement, able to mortally wound anything that might come near – their strange shapes and sharp spines can pierce armour as if it wasn’t there. Available as a terrain set.
• Barbed Venomgorse:- Covered in alien flora bright and beguiling, deathworlds are strange and sinister places few visit and fewer leave intact. Much of the pain, suffering and death can be attributed to the growth of barbed venomgorse. Possessed of a primal, cunning sapience, this carnivorous plant is highly adaptable, which snakes toward anything that lives, able to generate new weapon-growths and toxins throughout its life cycle while injecting debilitating neurotoxin with invariably fatal results. Commonly found with a collection of dead animal bones, xenos skeletons, and the odd unfortunate desiccated guardsman entangled in its sapient roots and boughs. The venom from a single one of these xeno-weeds is enough to kill most of a hive city. Mesh-like leaves, buds, and barbed flowers, a thick tangle of thorned creeper vines. Also available as a terrain set. Produces deadly subforms like the Grappleweed.
  • Grappleweed: the most common and deadly subform of the Barbed Venomgorse. The Grappleweed is a hideous alien plant, with stumpy bushes with trumpet-like flowers, able to shuffle across the landscapes of the galaxy in search of fresh morsels of prey. The writhing barbed tentacles are a deadly menace which will drag any prey with its grapple-barbed tongue into the fleshy trumpet for eventual digestion. Its is a ravenous carnivorous plant that tumbles towards its prey with astonishing swiftness before dousing it in highly corrosive chemicals and consuming the slurried remains.

Fauna

• Catachan Devils - Catachanus scorpiones maximus: Not to be confused with the Catachan Devil Guardsmen Regiment; these are voracious predators, looking somewhat like many-limbed scorpions. They can be as long as a Land Train but are very bulky and slow-moving, meaning that escape is possible. Was previously hinted to may or not be a type of lost Tyranid vanguard organism that was forced to adapt to the planet's environment, though this has been ruled out by the newer fluff.
• Catachan Face-Eater - Catachanus fyto paracitus: A bizarre amoeba-like organism. In its natural environment, the creature hangs from low branches, near water sources, or anywhere prey is known to travel. When a prey creature comes in range the Face-Eater will drop, or use its powerful muscles to fling itself in the direction of the creature's head. Once attached it will not only suffocate its prey but also use powerful digestive acids to begin to feed as it slowly kills. It then lays eggs so that the larvae may find a warm and moist meal. Also has the same genus as the Catachan Devils, whether they are closely related, we have no idea. But we're gonna sweep it as GW not understanding the basics of biological classification.
• Wild Grox: Introduced from the Solomon system as a food source, on Catachan they have become feral, deadly predators.
• Orks: Because there is officially nowhere in the galaxy real space or otherwise that hasn't been infested by these retarded angry mushrooms. Catachan was at one point the birthplace of Old Zogwort before a later retcon saying he was instead born on the planet Zurk
• Shambling Mamorphs: From the volcano lands, these creatures are tough fighters and put up a good fight even against the Catachan Devil.
• Drakebats: Ogryn-sized, winged pseudo-reptiles that lurk amongst the upper canopy of the equatorial jungles of Catachan, descending from the treetops to ambush and devour unsuspecting prey.
• There are also many types of venomous serpents on Catachan, including the Flying Swamp Mamba, the Coiling Death Cobra the Catachan Black Viper and the giant Blackback Viper, all are all deadly to most living beings. Some can kill in under 30 heartbeats.
• Catachan Barking Toads: Although appearing benign and harmless, the Barking Toads are likely Catachan's deadliest animals. The creatures are easily startled and, whenever they feel threatened, explode in a cloud of toxins which kills and liquefies anything within a one-kilometre radius, including the Barking Toad itself. The toxin is virulent enough that even respirators and sealed suits such as power armour offer no protection. They are known as the most toxic creatures in the galaxy. How these guys manage to maintain a population without suiciding themselves to extinction, we have no idea, but Warp fuckery has not been ruled out. There are two types of Barking Toads:
  • Great Barking Toad - Catachanus bufo moribundus: The larger variant. Will poison everything in a 1 mile radius. Also has the same genus as the Catachan Devils and Face Eater despite one being an arachnid, and the other being a slime mould.
  • Lesser Barking Toad: The smaller one. Its poison only affects its immediate vicinity.
• Blood Wasps: swarms of small, deadly insects that are known to eat their prey alive, stripping them to the bone in under an hour.
• Heretic-Ants are named on the account that they always attack their prey's feet (or "Soles") first. One bite from these insects will put a fully grown man in the infirmary for a month, two bites will give them around a day to find treatment before dying, and three will simply kill them outright.
• Vein Worms secrete an ooze that numbs their prey when they bite so that they cannot feel a thing. The Worms then dig their way under their prey's skin and into the bloodstream to lay their eggs. The eggs will spread all around the host's body, and when the larvae hatch they will eat their way through the host's brain, heart and bones. There is no known cure for Vein Worms once they have entered the bloodstream.

Disease

Because it is an Amazon-expy, expect a shit ton of diseases. Many of the planet's native insects also carry virulent diseases on top of being venomous, meaning that a single bite can be lethal in more ways than one. Due to their unseen and microscopic nature, many Catachans consider disease to be a greater enemy than any beast or monster. However, the Ordo Xenos and Magos Biologi are fascinated by the place for its enormous diversity of exotic poisons.

People

Such hardy place will breed hard people. This is where everyone's favourite Space-Rambos are born. Catachans are known for being both physically and mentally resilient on a level that normal humans simply cannot match. Due to their heavily muscled physiques, they are often nicknamed "Baby Ogryns" by other Guardsmen, although never to their faces, as it often results in serious injury. When bitten by a mosquito, a Catachan need only instinctively flex and the blood pressure will not only purge the venom from their body but also make the mosquito explode with a tiny pop.