Carbuncle

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This article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, or Wizards of the Coast hiring the fucking Pinkertons over a children’s card game. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.
Little shit extraordinaire

A Carbuncle, in /tg/ terms, is an obscure monster from the early days of Dungeons & Dragons - which also happens to share its name with a really, really gross skin malady, so be careful about searching it. About what it deserves.

It is an armadillo-like creature (or at least a small, scaly-skinned pig) with a large ruby in its forehead. If slain, and it can also will itself to die if people try too hard to intimidate it into surrendering the gem, the gemstone crumbles into worthless dust, but it can be persuaded - for the creature is sapient, albeit dimwitted - to hand over its ruby to people that it likes. The ruby then regrows, attaining a value of 100 gold pieces per month it is allowed to develop.

Now this may seem like an interesting way to get rich quick if you can domesticate one of the little monsters; they only eat leaves and insects, so they're quite docile. The problem? Carbuncles are little shit-stirrers. Possessing a number of innate psionics, including empathy, telepathy, and short-ranged precognition, carbuncles love to goad people and monsters around them into fighting, using their harmless appearance and monetary value to mastermind strife - a variant of the Gotcha Monster. Their usual approach is to cautiously approach a party and telepathically convince them to let the carbuncle hang around in exchange for the gem. Then it uses its telepathy and precogition to goad the party members into fighting each other, and/or it lures monsters to attack the party with its telepathy, ultimately slipping away when it feels things have gotten too hot.

The Carbuncle debuted for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 1st edition in issue #8 of White Dwarf, and made it from there into the Fiend Folio. It never got a 2e update, nor officially 3e. Necromancer for whatever reason deemed it Old School Cool (enough) for the Tome of Horrors; then it appeared alongside other "silly monsters" in the adventure "Fool's Grove" for Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition.

And then Paizo got around to this one, for the Pathfinder Bestiary 3. Described as a rather silly-looking lizard-thing, this carbuncle is a complete joke; it's even dumber than the classic D&D version, lacks all malice (although its "will self to die" ability is now a unique teleportation-aided death feigning power), and the ruby on its head is no longer worth anything, period.

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