Halfling
For the Halflings of Warhammer, see Halflings.
Halflings are a race of short, docile, inoffensive demihumans native to the various realms of Dungeons & Dragons. Whilst they tend to have a particular adeptness at thievery, if only due to their small stature making it easy to sneak around or go underestimated, they are traditionally considered as a race to be more interested in simple pleasures than becoming Adventurers.
Despite the shared naming convention, halflings are a full-blooded race, not one of humanity's many halfbreed spawn, although jokes about the nature of "Lings" and "Quarterlings" (halfling/human hybrids) are pretty old. They are no relation to Half-Goblins, although that could be an interesting racial redesign for them.
Origin of Halflings
Unlike the other demihuman races of D&D, halflings have no particular mythological origins. Instead, they are intimately tied with the origins of D&D as a game. Quick recap: Dungeons & Dragons began as Chainmail, a medieval wargame that slowly evolved into a role-playing game, making its fateful trip towards D&D when Gary Gygax and his buddies decided that they wanted to try and use their game to play in a fantasy world based on the various fantasy novels they were fans of - most particularly, the The Lord of the Rings.
Thus, the Hobbit was carried over from its roots on Middle Earth to serve as a PC race for the earliest editions of D&D. That was, until the infamously litigious Tolkien estate heard about it and slapped Gygax with a warning (to be fair, Tolkien did invent the word "Hobbit"). Rather than remove the race from his game - he may not have been too fond of the fantasy elements himself, but bugger the idea of being forced to drop them - Gygax simply renamed them "Halflings", taken from a nickname/insult used against hobbits in the LotR trilogy. Long story short, it worked; the Tolkien estate could no longer sue them for their use, and so halflings have continued into the game ever since, constantly tweaking and tinkering, but rarely completely unrecognizable from their ancient roots.
Halfling Physique
Halflings are defined, first and foremost, by their short stature. Unlike dwarves, who are stout and compact blocks of muscle, or gnomes, who look like severely stunted (and often visibly aged) elves, halflings look pretty much entirely human, save for the height. To be more precise, they have near-perfect 1:1 bodily proportions in comparison with humans, so they still look just like humans with scaled down sizes, not dwarves (in the "humans with dwarfism" sense). It's generally accepted that halflings age like humans and have adult proportions - or overly generous proportions, but some sources have described them as looking more "youthful" than humans, or even looking just like unaging children.
In newer material, they overlap ever-so-slightly with Gnomes in the sense that their hands, heads and feet are a bit larger than they would be on a human, but not so much that it looks comical like their gnomish cousins. Art from 3.5 and 4th edition tend more towards the "mini-human"-style with normal, physical proportions, but with little to differentiate them from actual humans other than being half their size, this style is usually not seen as much compared to the "squished-and-kind-of-cute-human"-style we know from 5th Edition.
One of the more contentious aspects of the halfling physique is the halfling foot. Specifically, just how accurately do halflings mimic their hobbit ancestors in terms of having large, tough and hairy feet? This is something that has shifted back and forth across the editions, settings and even individual character's attitude towards feet. And not in that way, you perv.
Halfling Culture
Traditional halfling culture has changed a lot over the editions.
Back in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, they shared the same attitudes as their hobbit ancestors; they lived simple, bucolic lives in fertile farm country, where they fished, farmed, hunted, snared and generally lived the lives of content rural peasantry. They have no great ambitions outside of living a comfortable life, full of the simple pleasures - predominantly food, celebrating with their friends, strong drink and sharing various little trinkets and baubles. Gift-giving is especially important to them. Family is hugely important, and fittingly enough, halflings often have huge families.
Problem was, that kind of lifestyle isn't conductive to going out and be a hero, so when 3rd edition came along, the developers decided it was time to add some reason for the halflings to come in contact with the rest of the world and occasionally adopt a lifestyle of murderfucking monsters for fun and profit like proper adventurers. Whilst they still had a lot in common with their old selves, now they tended to be nomads who lived in travelling caravans, wandering where the winds take them.
4th edition continued in 3rd edition's steps, portraying its halflings as river-dwellers who lived on houseboats and traveled the lakes, creeks, streams, swamps and deltas of the world, surviving through trade.
5th edition went back to 3rd edition, with a heavy dash of AD&D.
Setting Variants
Some settings, such as Golarion and the Scarred Lands, present a more grimdark take on the AD&D version of halfling culture; because of their small stature and lack of aggression, they depict other races as enslaving halflings and putting their skills at arts, crafts and agriculture to use as slaves.
On Athas, halflings are savage, tribal hunters, using druidic magic, stealth, psionics and poison to take down any living creature - including other sapient races - and have it for dinner.
Whilst Eberron has some of the "traditional" 3e halflings on it as well, it's more famous for its culture of dinosaur-taming barbarian halflings, because, seriously, that shit is awesome.
In Wicked Fantasy, the "haffuns" are quintessential household servants. In fact, it's considered uncommon for a human family of standing not to have haffun servants. They're so efficient at maintaining a house and family that it's almost suspicious. The haffun sense of hospitality is such that being invited into a household means they're part of the haffun's family and thus deserve the respect and care that entails. It also means keeping the family's secrets and disposing of thieves, slanderers, and others who insult the family's honor. Think Alfred Pennyworth, but three feet tall and both willing and able to kill, bribe, or blackmail any threats to the Wayne family without them ever suspecting a thing.
Halfling Religion
The halfling religion is fairly simple. Most halflings adopt, or at least respect, the faiths of their closest neighbors but they do have their own dedicated pantheon. Small and unassuming, the two most important figures in it are Yondalla, their creator-goddess, and Littleman, the iconic halfling folk hero who thrills and delights the little 'uns with stories of his winning over the bigger and scarier races of the world through charm and cunning. Halfling prayers are a masterpiece of understatement, similar to "Yondalla, I hate to bother you but there is a minor problem I was hoping you could help me with."
4e's Boat-Rocking
Despite the bad reputation D&D 4e has, it actually turned halflings into a surprisingly badass race. Born of a passionate lesbian tryst between Sehanine and Melora, then abandoned before being adopted by Avandra, halflings of the Nentir Vale are a race of quick-witted resourceful, courageous, inquisitive and surprisingly tough humanoids who claim the rivers, marshes and swamps of the world as their territory. Lacking great territorial ambitions may mean that they have no empires, but neither do they have disastrous falls in their history; halflings are the one race who haven't suffered great disasters or declines, and their oral traditions preserve lore and information that even the dwarf and elf races have forgotten. As the best boaters in the world, their river caravans are a vital source of trade and information and they are essential in preserving their local communities by keeping the chain of goods and news flowing.
For more information, check out this link: https://pastebin.com/AwRtBkqw
Halfling Subraces
Although not as mutable as even the dwarf and gnome races, never mind the elf race, there are still quite a few different species of halflings scattered throughout the D&D multiverse.
To begin with, remember, halflings began as rip-offs of Tolkein's Hobbits, and even their names are little more than literal translations of Tolkein's names for them. This is most evident in the Hairfoot (from "Harfoot"), or the AD&D Common Halfling. This was nothing more than your vanilla hobbit; short, prone to fat, quiet natured, good humored, and fond of living in comfort, with particularly large and hairy feet.
The Hairfoots, for obvious reasons, couldn't last and so in 3rd edition their place was taken by the Lightfoots. These halflings are essentially the bastard lovechild of a Hairfoot and a Kender, combining most of the Hairfoot's common sense, love of creature comforts, and big hairy feet with the Kender's slender build and some of its adventurous nature. The result was a peace-loving race of small nomads who werent' all adventurers, but were more likely to do so than Hairfoots. Lightfoots got far more love given to them in 4th edition, losing all vestiges of their Hairfoot ancestry in terms of appearance and growing to a height slightly taller than a typical ten-year-old, but were reverted to no more than renamed Hairfoots in 5th edition.
The Tallfellows (taken from Tolkein's Fallohides) are... well, they're basically elven halflings. No joke; they speak elvish, they live in treetown villages in deep woods, preferably where elves live, they can detect secret doors like elves, they're stealthier in the woods, they get super-high (19) Dexterity and Wisdom, they live the longest of any of the three main halfling subraces... they're elven halflings. Per the name, they are distinctly taller than the other halfling subraces (the sole Tallfellow contribution to the 4E halfling was the boost in height noted above). They've effectively been erased from relevance as of 5e, which explicitly lumps them into the Hairfoot statblock, eliminating any mechanical distinction they had from Lightfoot/Hairfoots.
The Stouts (taken from Tolkein's Stoors) are the dwarven halflings to the Tallfellows being the elven halflings. They're strong, muscular, stocky halflings with a predilection for dwelling underground, infravision, they have facial hair (something other halflings lack), they have a natural talent for mining/jewel-making/stonemasonry/building/smithing/carving, and they live longer than Hairfoots, but not as long as Tallfellows. One trait they have which isn't connectable to dwarves or Hairfoots, but instead shows their origins as Tolkien's Stoors, is that they have a highly unusual appreciation for water. In AD&D, Stout-holes (which tend to be unpleasantly dark and damp by Hairfoot standards) are usually built within or close to riverbanks, fish is an important part of their diets, and the race is famous for its skill at building and piloting small boats. In 5th edition, they gained the dwarven traits of poison resistance and increased constitution.
The notorious Kender are, although certainly similar to halflings in resembling slightly fey human children that never grow up, generally not accepted as proper halflings. The halflings who've actually met kender insist on this, saying instead that they are some other race that has simply evolved to fit the "halfling niche" on Krynn. Given their seemingly incurable genetic predisposition to thievery and stupidity, many players suggest that they may be a strain of goblin that has tried to escape the usual fate of its species by evolving to look more human-appearing "cutesy".
The Rhulisiti, as they call themselves, are better known as the Athasian Halflings elsewhere. Degenerated from the heights of glory, these dusky-skinned and feral halflings jealously guard their home in the Ringing Mountains, hunting everything that isn't one of their own kind -- including fellow sapients. Amusingly, virtually all other sapient races in the setting are descended from them in some fashion.
The Furchin are a race of halflings from the frozen world of Falakyr, reached through the use of spelljamming; though they live as Stone Age nomadic hunter-gatherers on their own world, an unknown wizard attempted to take many of them as slaves, leading to individuals or even whole clans being scattered throughout the spheres. Per TSR traditions, their name stems from the fact that they have the ability to grow proportionately massive beards, longer even than those of the Stouts, whom they otherwise resemble. They first showed up in a Spelljammer adventure, part of the boxed set The Legend of Spelljammer, and then were made a playable race in The Complete Book of Gnomes & Halflings, which expanded upon their meager details by naming their homeworld... not that anyone actually remembers them.
Cerillian Halflings resemble the Hairfoots, but are actually refugees from the Shadowworld, giving them the ability to look into that otherworldly plane and, if necessary, travel back and forth. They rarely bother, however, because their kinsfolk still live in abject slavery there.
Ghostwise Halflings are native to the Chondalwood region of Faerun, an isolationist species of near-feral halflings who have mutated to better survive as stealthy hunters. Most notably, they use telepathy to communicate rather than talking. They are very likely based on the diminutive Wolfrider elves of Wendy Pini's "ElfQuest" comics, who also live as isolated hunters and speak to each other telepathically. However, this has not yet been confirmed by any WOTC employees.
Golden or Amberhair Halflings are native to the land of Tellene and claim to be the original species of halfling on their world, which they share with Lightfeet. Distinguished by rich golden-brown hair, they're also renowned for their brilliance and thoughtfulness.
The halflings of Mystara call themselves "Hin", a name which was subsequently co-opted for them in the Forgotten Realms. They have their own nation, the Five Shires, which was covered in the 8th of the Known World Gazetteers; unusually for halflings, they actively protect themselves, having not only a strong local army in the form of halfling militias, but even their own navy of halfling pirates. Yes, you heard us right. Mystara was a really weird setting. Oh, and when within the Five Shires, hin not only have a natural resistance to emotion-manipulating magics, but those who've reached 5th level can attempt to counterspell any kind of magical attack once per day, and hin clans pool their collective spirits to create a magical energy called "blackflame", which not only freezes instead of burning, but can be manipulated by halflings to achieve magical defenses and create magical items. They also have a somewhat Amish-like tradition of Yallara, which is a culturally reinforced tendency for teenage halflings to get really strong wanderlust and go off to become adventurers - they still do the "down to earth folksy thing", but that comes after they've been out, seen the world, and raided a few dungeons. Frankly, the fact that peace-loving human and elf wizards tend to settle down in the Five Shires and will do violence to protect their peaceful lives almost seems like overkill.
The Jerren are a super evil offshoot of lightfoot halflings who are known for using poison.
D'hin'ni are a planetouched branch of the halfling family native to the Forgotten Realms; they are the result of interbreeding between lightfoot halflings and djinn, creating a race of diminutive air genasi.
Halfling Stats
OD&D
Halflings are limited to the Fighting-Men class in OD&D. Halflings cannot progress beyond the 4th level (Hero), but they will have magic-resistance equal to dwarves (add four levels for saving throws), and they will have deadly accuracy with missiles.
BD&D
In contrast to its association with the Thief class in AD&D, the BECMI Halfling is more of a prototype for the Ranger. It's considered a demihuman fighter, requiring 9s in Dexterity and Constitution to qualifying for and considering Strength and Dexterity its primary ability requisites. Maxing out at level 8, though able to continue increasing to Attack Rank K, it has a similar magic resistance unlockable trait to the BECMI Dwarf, and also inherently gains increased AC against bigger foes, higher initiative, and a bonus to hit rolls with missile attacks. They also gain a resistance to breath weapons, like the BECMI Elf. Their special trait is Woodland Abilities, a 90% chance to hide when in wilderness conditions (although they can't move whilst hiding) - this drops to a mere 33% chance to hide when in urban conditions.
AD&D
The Hairfoot Halfling originally appeared in the Player's Guide for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. The other subraces would get their turn to shine in "The Complete Book of Gnomes and Halflings", which provided stats for not only the Stouts and Tallfellows, but also the Furchins, Rhulisti and even Kender.
According to "The Complete Book", all halflings, regardless of subrace, share the following traits - it's unclear if this actually means the Rhulisti, Kender and Furchins as well, or just the "normal" Hairfeet, Stouts and Tallfellows.
- +1 to saving throws vs. spells, rods, staves, wands and poisons per 3.5 points of Constitution.
- +1 to attack rolls with missile weapons.
- When not in metal armor, a halfling that is either alone, accompanied only by other halflings/elves, or 90 feet away from the rest of its party inflicts a -4 penalty on its opponents' Surprise rolls. This decreases to -2 if doors or other screens must be opened.
- A halfling with mixed Stout bloodline has a 25% chance of having Infravision 30 feet, according to the PHB.
- Class & Level Limits: Cleric (8), Fighter (9), Thief (15), Fighter/Thief (8/15)
- Halflings with an Ability Score of at least 15 in their class's Prime Requisite can increase their level limit by +4 (Cleric 12, Fighter 13 and Thief 19).
Why the Stout, Tallfellow and especially the Furchin have the same clas & level limits as the Hairfoot is just one example of how AD&D pigeonholed its races.
- Hairfoot Halfling
-
- Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 3/17, Dexterity 8/19, Constitution 10/18, Intelligence 6/18, Wisdom 3/18, Charisma 7/18
- Ability Score Adjustments: -1 Strength, +1 Dexterity
- +2 to Reaction Rolls against human NPCs.
- Bonus Language: 1 Human dialect
- Stout Halfling
-
- Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 5/17, Dexterity 8/19, Constitution 10/19, Intelligence 6/18, Wisdom 3/18, Charisma 5/18
- Ability Score Adjustments: -1 Strength, +1 Dexterity or +1 Constitution
- Infravision 60 feet
- Bonus Language: 1 Dwarven dialect
- 75% chance to detect sloping passageways.
- 50% chance to determine direction when underground.
- Tallfellow Halfling
-
- Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 3/17, Dexterity 8/19, Constitution 10/18, Intelligence 6/18, Wisdom 7/19, Charisma 5/18
- Ability Score Adjustments: -1 Strength, +1 Dexterity or +1 Wisdom
- Bonus Language: 1 Elven dialect
- Can recognize a secret door by rolling a 1 on a D6, just like an elf.
- +2 to Surprise rolls when in forest or wooded terrain.
- Furchin Halfling
-
- Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 3/17, Dexterity 8/19, Constitution 10/19, Intelligence 6/18, Wisdom 3/17, Charisma 7/18
- Ability Score Adjustments: +1 Dexterity, +1 Constitution, -1 Strength, -1 Wisdom
- Free Proficiency point in Cold-Weather Survival.
- +4 bonus to all saving throws versus magical and mundane cold-based attacks.
- -4 bonus to Armor Class against Giant-type creatures.
- -2 bonus to Armor Class against human-sized creatures.
- Rhulisiti (Athasian Halfling)
-
- Ability Score Minimum/Maximum: Strength 3/18, Dexterity 12/20, Constitution 5/20, Intelligence 5/20, Wisdom 7/20, Charisma 5/20
- Ability Score Adjustments: +2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom, -2 Strength, -1 Constitution, -1 Charisma
- Class & Level Limits: Cleric (12), Druid (12), Fighter (12), Gladiator (12), Illusionist (16), Psionicist (Unlimited), Ranger (16), Thief (16)
- There are some differences between versions of the Dark Sun corebook, which you have to refer to for the rhulisiti's class information. Above information refers to the Original version of the setting; in the Revised version, the Illusionist was removed and the Druid was bumped to maxing out at level 16.
3rd Edition
Naturally, halflings were right there in the player's handbook in 3rd edition, a place they have occupied in every edition since.
- +2 Dexterity, -2 Strength
- Small
- Base Speed 20 feet
- +2 racial bonus on Climb, Jump, Listen and Move Silently.
- +1 racial bonus on all saving throws.
- +2 morale bonus on saves against fear, which stacks with the +1 racial bonus above.
- +1 racial bonus an attack rolls with thrown weapons and slings.
- Favored Class: Rogue
Kingdoms of Kalamar had an alternative halfling, the Golden or Amberhair Halfling. Creative and adaptive, they are named for their iconic rich golden-colored hair. They're considered to be more intellectual and scholarly than normal halflings.
- +2 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, -2 Strength
- Small
- Base Speed 20 feet
- Low-light Vision
- +1 racial bonus to all saving throws
- +2 morale bonus on saves vs. fear (stacks with above).
- Shared Heritage: +2 racial bonus on Innuendo checks made against other halflings.
- Favored Class: Psion
Races of Faerûn published the variant "Strongheart Halfling", which was literally the PHB Halfling but with the bonus to saves replaced by the Human bonus feat. Since this bonus feat made humans the best race in the game, Strongheart Halflings became one of the best races, beating out Human for anything that could overcome the slow speed, didn't need to make melee attacks and could survive one less skill point (Read: Wizard).
Pathfinder
Halflings are the same as their 3.5 incarnation but, per Pathfinder race standards, have an extra +2 in Charisma. The combination of +2 Dexterity and +2 Charisma plus their small size and save bonuses, make them a natural choice of race for charisma based casters like Sorcerer, Oracle, the Feyspeaker Druid archetype and the Seducer Witch archetype.
They have been given the option of taking the unique racial feat Childlike, which lets them take 10 on bluff checks when they make them appear innocent and makes them look a bit more like a human child than an actual human child. Yes, they make great seducers and look like kids. If you want to get even weirder Childlike allows them to take the Pass For Human feat, which makes them look way more (+8) like an adult human than an adult human.
Like all the core races of Pathfinder, they have options for trading out their normal racial features. There are two options of note (though several are good trades). The first is giving up Sure-Footed for normal speed, as the higher speed boosts your acrobatics anyways. The second is trading away your bonus on saves to become a nexus for bad luck and the ability to jinx enemies. On its own it's not a great trade, but there are plenty of feats dedicated to boosting this jinx if you want to specialize on it.
4th Edition
In 4th edition, halflings benefited a lot from the defanging of Small, as well as from a surprising increase in mobility that bumped them up to the same speed as most Medium races.
- Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Dexterity, +2 Charisma OR +2 Constitution
- Size: Small
- Speed: 6 squares (30 feet)
- Vision: Normal
- Skill Bonus: +2 Acrobatics, +2 Thievery
- Bold: +5 racial bonus to saving throws against Fear.
- Nimble Reaction: +2 racial bonus to AC against Opportunity Attacks.
- Racial Power - Second Chance: Once per encounter, as an Immediate Interrupt to being hit by an attack, force the attacker to reroll their attack and use the second result, even if this forces them to miss.
5th Edition
Whilst 5th edition slowed them down compared to 4th, it didn't entirely hit them with the nerf bat.
- Ability Score Modifiers: +2 Dexterity
- Size: Small
- Speed: 25 feet
- Vision: Normal
- Lucky: When you roll a 1 on an attack roll, ability check or saving throw, reroll the die and use the second result.
- Brave: You have Advantage on saves vs. Frightened.
- Halfling Nimbleness: You can move through the space of any creatrue that is a size category larger than you.
- Subrace: Lightfoot or Stout.
Lightfoot:
- Ability Score Increase: +1 Charisma
- Naturally Stealthy: You can attempt to hide even when only obscured by a creature at least one size category larger than you.
Stout:
- Ability Score Increase: +1 Constitution
- Stout Resilience: Resistance to Poison Damage, Advantage on saves vs. Poison.
Eberron: Rising From the Last War added two new subraces based on Dragonmark possession.
Mark of Healing
- Ability Score Increase: +1 Wisdom
- Medical Intuition. When you make a Wisdom (Medicine) check or an ability check using an herbalism kit, you can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to the ability check.
- Healing Touch. You can cast the cure wounds spell with this trait. Starting at 3rd level, you can also cast lesser restoration with it. Once you cast either spell with this trait, you can't cast that spell with it again until you finish a long rest. Wisdom is your spellcasting ability for these spells.
- Spells of the Mark. If you have the Spellcasting or the Pact Magic class feature, the spells on the Mark of Healing Spells table are added to the spell list of your spellcasting class.
Mark of Healing Spells
lst: cure wounds, healing word
2nd: lesser restoration, prayer of healing
3rd: aura of vitality, mass healing word
4th: aura of purity, aura of life
5th: greater restoration
Mark of Hospitality
- Ability Score Increase: +1 Charisma
- Ever Hospitable. When you make a Charisma (Persuasion) check or an ability check involving brewer's supplies or cook's utensils, you can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to the ability check.
- Innkeeper's Magic. You know the prestidigitation cantrip. You can also cast the purify food and drink and unseen servant spells with this trait. Once you cast either spell with this trait, you can't cast that spell with it again until you finish long rest. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells.
- Spells of the Mark. If you have the Spell casting or the Pact Magic class feature, the spells on the Mark of Hospitality Spells table are added to the spell list of your spellcasting class
Mark of Hospitality Spells
1st: good berry, sleep
2nd: aid, calm emotions
3rd: create food and water, Leomund's tiny hut
4th: aura of purity, Mordenkainen's private sanctum
5th: hallow
The Explorer's Guide to Wildemount for Exandria added the new Lotusden Halfling subrace:
- Ability Score Increase: +1 Wisdom
- Child of the Wood: You can cast Druidcraft. At 3rd level, you can cast Entangle 1/day. At 5th level, you can cast Spike Growth 1/day. As with all racial SLAs, you don't need components when using these trait-granted spells. Wisdom is your spellcasting ability score for all three.
- Timberwalk: You impose Disadvantage on attempts to track you, and you ignore difficult terrain made of nonmagical plants and undergrowth.
Farlandish Halflings
In the World of Farland, halflings, or hositan as they call themselves, use the standard PHB racial traits... but, there's also the subsetting "War of Immortals", which is set back in the ancient past of the setting. Here, halfling culture is literally just forming - halflings were only just recently recognized as being people instead of pets by the dwarves, who are rather embarrassed about the whole matter, and there are two unique subraces. The core race is identical to the 5e version above, but the subraces are different. Outsiders, also known as Shire-Dwellers, are the original halfling stock; they get +1 Constitution and have the Lightfoot's Naturally Stealthy racial trait. Insiders are halflings who were bred as pets by the dwarves until recently; they get +1 Charisma and the unique trait "Learned", which grants them Proficiency in and Advantage on two skills of their choice from a list of Animal Handling, Arcana, History, Investigation, Medicine, Nature, Performance, Persuasion and Religion.
Sexy Shortfolk
 | This article or section is about Monstergirls (or a monster that is frequently depicted as a Monstergirl), something that /tg/ widely considers to be the purest form of awesome. Expect PROMOTIONS! and /d/elight in equal measure, often with drawfaggotry or writefaggotry to match. |
You might be thinking that there's no way that halflings can be seen in a sexual light. After all, they're just miniature humans; nothing about that says monstergirls, right? Wrong. That stature alone qualifies halflings for sexiness in the eyes of MG fans, whether they take the "legal CP" perspective or the shortstack perspective.
And, for once, it's not entirely unjustified. Halflings have been bonking dwarves (and, it's implied, gnomes) since the days of Dungeons & Dragons, and the Tallfellow halfling race has always been described as "suspiciously" elven, to the point that many fans assume they're the halfling equivalent of half-elves. And then there's a certain story in "Races of Destiny" which goes something like this:
"There once was a very beautiful halfling maiden, who attracted the love of both a dwarf and an elf. However, she was vain, greedy and a big slut, so she demanded that if they would have her, they'd have to share her. Her beaus reluctantly agreed, and for this crime of having two husbands, the gods cursed her. When she became pregnant, she gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl who were clearly a mix of all three races. Ashamed and horrified, her husbands divorced her and went back to their own lands. Outcast and alone, the halfling abandoned her children, who grew up and, not knowing any better, married each other. And that's where humans came from."
Furthermore, halflings have a very strong association with large families; whilst of course D&D is never explicit about these things, halflings have always been obliquely noted as possessing large, sprawling families, which fits in with their hobbit origins. And, since halflings don't find their babies under cabbages, that implies that they're getting up to a lot of shagging in private; back in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, it was noted that a single halfling home might house up to 25 halflings in it, although that is partially due to their longevity (averaging between 150 to 250 years, depending on the subspecies) and their propensity for multiple generations to share the same household.
So, we have a race where the females look, depending on your interpretation, like either "adorable little girls" despite being ready, older and willing to shag or curvy women scaled down to easily handled size, and which is canonically known both for getting it on with other species and for liking sex as much as you can in an officially G-rated game. So, saying that humans and halflings have the occasional hook-up really does make a lot of sense - especially given just how human they are in terms of nature, abilities and desires. Really, what's not to love about a cute, pint-sized housewife who considers it a matter of pride to make sure every meal is delicious and the kids are brought up well?
No quarterlings have been printed yet.
For the record, the unquestioned gold standard in halfling porn is the webcomic "Alfie" by InCase, found here.
Notable Halflings
- Bilbo Baggins, of Tolkien's Middle Earth. The original Hobbit, the one that started it all.
- Frodo Baggins, Bilbo's cousin and adopted heir. Was involved in the theft of and willful destruction of property (specifically jewelry) and murder; as the owner, Sauron, died of mental anguish. No legal action taken. Fled the country to avoid prosecution. Final fate unknown.
- Samwise Gamgee, accomplice to Baggins in aforementioned theft, and hunting of endangered mammoth spider wildlife. After a generous donation of the Baggins estates by Frodo to his election campaign, he became mayor of the Shire. This was quickly followed by a name change to "Samwise Gardner" and coincidental loss of any records of any of his potential misdemeanors. Also left the country after a comfortable 7 terms as mayor, only interrupted by one state visit.
- Bullroarer Took, Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle of Bilbo Baggins. Most notable for his ability to ride a real horse and for inventing golf with a rabbit hole, a (non-golf) club, and the head of a goblin general while whacking it off his shoulders mid-battle.
- Belkar Bitterleaf, from Rich Burlew's Order of the Stick. Arguable, as Belkar is so fucking, eye-bleedingly awesome that he may, in fact, be a dorf. ("I am a sexy shoeless god of war!")
- Olive Ruskettle, a borderline Chaotic Stupid female halfling thief whose biggest claims to fame are stealing the name/reputation of a bard despite being "too chaotic to become a bard(!)" and helping to free the Saurials from Moander, in that order.
- Mazzy Fentan of Baldur's Gate fame, halfling quasi-paladin of justice who can and will break both your legs if you call her "cute."
Tasslehoff Burrfoot, beloved happy-go-lucky companion to*BLAM* fuck kenders. Fuck them in the ear.- Flo is not a fantasy character, but the nickname for the first fossil Homo floresiensis that was discovered, or to use there more widely known name the "Hobbit" (a possible name for them was Homo hobbitus). Incredibly short Flo was determined to be 30 and yet only barely higher then three feet thus as the first member of the hobbit race we have discovered earns a spot on this list.
That's more or less it. I mean, they're hardly the go-getters of heroic fantasy. Though admittedly sometimes they get involved in major events, if only because they wander into the planning tent in search of more food.
Gallery
-
The iconic Monstrous Manual halfling, showing its obvious hobbit roots.
-
Lidda, the iconic halfling character of 3e.
-
Lidda's got some strange tattoos.
-
3e started a definite trend to try and portray halflings as sexy-cute.
-
Ravenloft halflings are not to be underestimated.
-
4e halflings and their notable lack of hairy feet.
-
4e was determined to prove halflings could be badass too.
-
5e decided to beat halflings with the ugly stick in order to move them away from 4e.
-
Though that might just be due to a really poor choice of main artists.
-
Being small does not mean halflings can't be creepy.
-
A halfling wardog-riding cavalier.
-
Halfling slaves are a not-uncommon feature of darker/edgier D&D settings.
-
Halflings make surprisingly good scouts.
-
The context in which your party will likely encounter halfings.
-
Being short means you're just right height to stab those fucks in the balls.
| Dungeons & Dragons 1st Edition Races | |
|---|---|
| Basic Set | Dwarf • Elf • Hobbit • Human |
| Creature Crucible 1 | Brownie • Centaur • Dryad • Faun • Hsiao • Leprechaun • Pixie • Pooka • Redcap • Sidhe • Sprite • Treant • Wood Imp • Wooddrake |
| Creature Crucible 2 | Faenare • Gnome • Gremlin • Harpy • Nagpa • Pegataur • Sphinx • Tabi |
| Creature Crucible 3 | Kna • Kopru • Merrow • Nixie • Sea Giant • Shark-kin • Triton |
| Dragon Magazine | Cayma • Gatorman • Lupin • N'djatwa • Phanaton • Rakasta • Shazak • Wallara |
| Hollow World | Beastman • Brute-Man • Hutaakan • Krugel Orc • Kubitt • Malpheggi Lizard Man |
| Known World | Bugbear • Goblin • Gnoll • Hobgoblin • Kobold • Ogre • Troll |
| Dungeons & Dragons 2nd Edition Races | |
|---|---|
| Core | Dwarf • Elf • Gnome • Half-Elf • Half-Orc • Halfling • Human |
| Dark Sun | Aarakocra • Half-Giant • Mul • Pterran • Thri-kreen |
| Dragonlance | Draconian • Irda • Kender • Minotaur |
| Mystara | Aranea • Ee'ar • Enduk • Lizardfolk (Cayma • Gurrash • Shazak) • Lupin • Manscorpion • Phanaton • Rakasta • Tortle • Wallara |
| Oriental Adventures | Korobokuru • Hengeyokai • Spirit Folk |
| Planescape | Aasimar • Bariaur • Genasi • Githyanki • Githzerai • Modron • Tiefling |
| Spelljammer | Dracon • Giff • Grommam • Hadozee • Hurwaeti • Rastipede • Scro • Xixchil |
| Ravenloft: | Broken One • Flesh Golem • Half-Vistani • Therianthrope |
| Complete Book Series | Alaghi • Beastman • Bugbear • Bullywug • Centaur • Duergar • Fremlin • Firbolg • Flind • Gnoll • Goblin • Half-Ogre • Hobgoblin • Kobold • Mongrelfolk • Ogre • Ogre Mage • Orc • Pixie • Satyr • Saurial • Svirfneblin • Swanmay • Voadkyn • Wemic |
| Dragon Magazine | Half-Dryad • Half-Satyr • Uldra • Xvart |
| Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition Races | |
|---|---|
| Player's Handbook 1 | Dragonborn • Dwarf • Eladrin • Elf • Half-Elf • Halfling • Human • Tiefling |
| Player's Handbook 2 | Deva • Gnome • Goliath • Half-Orc • Shifter |
| Player's Handbook 3 | Githzerai • Minotaur • Shardmind • Wilden |
| Monster Manual 1: | Bugbear • Doppelganger • Githyanki • Goblin • Hobgoblin • Kobold • Orc |
| Monster Manual 2 | Bullywug • Duergar • Kenku |
| Dragon Magazine | Gnoll • Shadar-kai |
| Heroes of Shadow | Revenant • Shade • Vryloka |
| Heroes of the Feywild | Hamadryad • Pixie • Satyr |
| Eberron's Player's Guide | Changeling • Kalashtar • Warforged |
| The Manual of the Planes | Bladeling |
| Dark Sun Campaign Setting | Mul • Thri-kreen |
| Forgotten Realms Player's Guide | Drow • Genasi |
| The Races of Pathfinder | |
|---|---|
| Player's Handbook: | Dwarf - Elf - Gnome - Half-Elf - Half-Orc - Halfling - Human |
| Advanced Race Guide: |
Aasimar - Catfolk - Changeling - Dhampir - Duergar Drow - Fetchling - Gillman - Goblin - Grippli - Hobgoblin Ifrit - Kitsune - Kobold - Merfolk - Nagaji - Orc - Oread Ratfolk - Samsaran - Strix - Suli - Svirfneblin - Sylph Tengu - Tiefling - Undine - Vanara - Vishkanya - Wayang |
| Bestiaries: | Android - Astomoi - Caligni - Deep One Hybrid - Gathlain Gnoll - Kasatha - Munavri - Naiad - Orang-Pendak Reptoid - Rougarou - Shabti - Trox - Yaddithian |
| Adventure Paths: | Being of Ib - Kuru |
| Inner Sea Races: | Ghoran - Monkey Goblin - Lashunta - Skinwalker Syrinx - Triaxian - Wyrwood - Wyvaran |
| Ultimate Wilderness: | Vine Leshy |
| Blood of the Sea: | Adaro - Cecaelia - Grindylow - Locathah - Sahuagin - Triton |
| Planar Adventures: | Aphorite - Duskwalker - Ganzi |