Space Wolves

Space Wolves
Battle Cry	"For Russ and the Allfather!"
Number	VI
Founding	First Founding
Successors of	N/A
Successor Chapters	Wolf Brothers
Chapter Master	Logan Grimnar
Primarch	Leman Russ
Homeworld	Fenris
Strength	More than 1,000
Specialty	Aggressive assaults and wolves
Allegiance	Imperium of Man
Colours	Grey-blue and Yellow

The Space Wolves are a Chapter of Viking Space Marines and the non-Chaotic 40K counterparts to the Warriors of Chaos, and are as manly as the Angry Marines are angry. Also, they like wolves, in case you couldn't figure it out from the fucking name. Extremely Nordic, very melee oriented, and perpetually drunk/feasting/chasing bitches and of course beating the living hell out of anything that they don't like, real or otherwise. They would probably get along with Khârn, who really is a nice guy, but they're still pissed off over the whole betrayal thing, and they'd probably get along pretty well with World Eaters and followers of Khorne in general, were it not for the whole betrayal thing again keeping them from what would likely be a successful relationship (also the lack of wolves). Probably more amiable towards the Angry Marines, whom the Space Wolves get many good ideas for insults from (but no wolves). Presently, they refuse to acknowledge the Pretty Marines as an actual chapter for undisclosed, yet obvious reasons.

Unstoppable, badass Vikings who gleefully shit on every other Chapter (save Blood Angels and Black Templars...6th dropped and the BA and BT get raped by the Wolf Train) when it comes to melee and still somehow manage to retain more versatility than the two aforementioned. Also one of the only chapters capable of growing facial hair (The others being the Imperial Fists and the White Scars, who have the only mustachioed Primarchs).

Brief History and Main Overview

Leman Russ was basically Viking Tarzan with wolves instead of apes, he was captured by the humans of Fenris and became adopted son to King Thengir. When Thengir passed, Leman became king, by virtue of being the biggest badass on Fenris. And that's saying something. Ol' Empy came along and said 'JOIN ME!' in his typical dickish fashion. Leman then challenged him to a drinking and eating contest where he showed the omnipotent demi-god up in front of half of Fenris. This was the first instant until the Horus Heresy where the Emperor would be brought down a peg. Angry that someone may have beaten him, he challenged Leman to a duel. Leman almost won until the cheating Emprah cunt hit him on the head with a Power Fist. Nice, Empy, Honour and Fairness and all that. Ok, maybe not completely true, in the fluff the emperor easily penetrated leman's defenses. Leman got up a few days later and had a headache from his hangover. He then became Primarch of the Space Wolves. The rest is history.

One further thing of note is that it is implied the two missing legions were hunted down by the Space Wolves so if it is true then that brings their legion kill tally to three...

The Space Wolves are another example on how Games Workshop lusts after medieval Scandinavian history and mythology. As if the Warriors of chaos weren't already enough of a tip off to that. Given that they are the only Space Marines to have wolves, beards, wield axes, laugh boisterously, and act like something more than sombre, grim assholes, and because they have names like 'Ragnar', 'Logan' and 'Bjorn' they are instantly considered manlier than all other Spehss Mehreens, including the Chaos ones. Based on their characterization in Prospero Burns and Battle for the Fang, they hold little regard for "mortals", but highly respect bravery in battle. On top of all that, they happen to have the most badass Chapter Masters ever, Logan Grimnar. Who is one of the few people to actually routinely tell the Ecclesiarchy to get bent and have told the Ordo Malleus of the Emperor's Holy Inquisition that they were a bunch of scum sucking bastards for wiping out attempting to wipe out Armageddon's population on account of potential heresy due to encountering daemons. Which, of course, was bullshit as Logan and the Grey Knights had already banished Angron to the warp with wolves (do not underestimate the insidious nature of Chaos, all it would take is one latent psyker to have their gift awakened by all the warp activity going on and suddenly you throw the door wide open for yet another daemonic incursion, better safe than sorry, or in other words, better to break a few innocent eggs than risk a swarm of satanic chickens pecking out your asshole). This man essentially gave the Inquisition and the High Lords of Terra the middle-finger and no one could do anything about it purely because he can make people shit themselves just by looking at them funny. Talk about manly!

...actually the Inquisition backed off from their threat of declaring Excommunicatus and Exterminatus on the whole Chapter after Grimnar axefucked the guy in charge, but the Grey Knights were still tasked with tracking down every transport the Wolves helped get away, and exterminated them as well as any worlds, outposts, or settlements they came across... So the Wolves' noble intentions to save a few million lives resulted in the deaths of untold billions of innocents - see Emperor's Gift novel.

If they were in a vidya gaem, they'd probably be voiced by BRIAN BLESSED... or his royal Cinemaness CHRISTOPHER LEE.

They also once managed to kill an entire VOID WHALE! (If a hideously malformed one) Scary Badass Grampa Werewolf Viking FTW!

Spess Wohlfs, if not already obvious, draw upon a heavy viking theme, an equally heavy werewolf theme, and wolves in general. As such, the Space Wolves, Black Templars, World Eaters and Khornate Worshipers in general, are the few people to realize that they all live in a fantasy universe with spaceships.

Another question that might come up if one thought about it is what happened to all of their extra marines. Even between the Burning of Prospero and Horus Heresy, the Wolves and their descendants were reduced to a chapter strength of about 1200 marines by the 41st Millenium. Even with attrition over the years, they should have been left with thousands of marines to split into different chapters. The main school of thought is that the Wolves split into two chapters, the original Space Wolves as well as the Wolf Brothers. While the Wolf Brothers would eventually be disbanded due to genetic instability, it would still leave the Space Wolves several thousand marines strong. It's though that the rest of the Sons of Russ would eventually be brought down to close to Codex Chapter strength by attrition, as their numbers were overcome by casualties, the rise of the Mark of the Wulfen, and alcohol poisoning. Another hypothesis is that there would be other chapters that would split off from the wolves, albeit unofficially or by their origins being proscribed for...whatever reason. However, if the Wolves were indeed left to be several hundred strong after Guilliman got his reform on, it would mean that after Russ's disappearance, the wolves were slowly dying out after their recruitment numbers dwindled to the dozens per year. (Though the natural ratio of recruits-to-casualties probably reached an equilibrium point at some point a few centuries afterwords, and has hovered right around that point for a long time. Grimdark doesn't always mean Grimderp.)

Relationship with the Thousand Sons

Space Wolves have a talent for rage, and it is thought by some that they pride themselves with the sheer number of enemies they have. But the Thousand Sons Chaos Legion is by and large their greatest enemy, at least that's what they think. The fact is that the rivalry began when the Space Wolves (with help from Custodians and Sisters of Silence) kicked the living shit out of the Thousand Sons on their home planet, which is like having your country host the Olympics and then getting last place in every event (much like Canada in the 1976 Summer Olympics and again in the 1988 Winter Olympics). Before that, Leman Russ, Primarch of the Space Wolves, broke the back of Magnus the Red, who is Primarch of the Thousand Sons. TO BE FAIR, Magnus felt that he deserved it and therefore ordered his warriors to deactivate all planetary defenses (he actually deactivated it himself and even killed one of his own captains to hide the coming of the invasion fleet). If the Thousand Sons had their defenses active, the Wolf of the Wolf Wolf Wolves probably would have had a much harder time of it. As it is, even with all the backup the Wolves had, once they ran out of planetary defense forces in parade uniforms to slaughter, and came across the Thousand Sons, the Wolves/Custodians/Sisters were getting their asses handed to then until Tzeench pulled the troll lever and the Sons' greatest psykers started mutating and exploding like Tetsuo from Akira.

Considering the Emprah basically just asked for Leman Russ to give Magnus a ride to Earth, this is more like your parents asking you to tell your younger sibling to come out of their room and clean up the mess they made, only for you to go in there, shoot off both their legs, take a dump on the floor and set the room on fire, chase them out into the streets, murder his best friends, and then tell your parents that the brat suffered for not taking responsibility for the five or so school books on the couch. Of course, Horus helped that all along. Just as planned. Chief Custodian Valdor also urged Russ to curbstomp Magnus for good, presumably because he was concerned what kind of damage Magnus could do in person, given how much trouble he caused from millions of light-years away.

. . . Yeah, Horus or no, Leman probably would have done it anyway for the lulz. See: Story time with Bjorn the Fell Handed

This set the tone for the rest of their unhealthy relationship. The Thousand Sons do something to piss off the Space Wolves, usually some brilliant, convoluted plan, and the Space Wolves just charge and beat the living shit out of them and laugh in their faces when they find out how much work those Tzeentchies put into their plots. Sadly, this usually comes at a staggering toll in Space Wolf lives. So grimdark. Oh, and the Thousand Son's usually accomplish some underlying secret objective.

Many theories are abound as to why the Space Wolves hate the Thousand Sons and their sorcery so much. The most popular amongst fa/tg/uys is that the Thousand Sons Primarch, Magnus, being aware of Russ's bestiality, was always watching him from his magical lookout, riding up and down his sorcerer's tower to observe Russ from every height and depth, intently channeling the power of his one-eyed cyclops to pierce into Russ's most intimate chambers. Understandably, this left Russ very (literally) butthurt indeed and eager for vengeance. Or because Magnus is a NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD.

Ragnar Blackmane

Meanwhile, on Fenris...

Perhaps the best example can be found in The Space Wolf Omnibus, in which Ragnar Blackmane, who is basically a young Space Wolf, not only fucks over a Sorcerer, but Magnus the Red himself. The Sorcerer, Madox, is so pissed at being foiled by Ragnar that he bitches about it to other Thousand Sons, who find this hilarious, and goes around making plots, which Ragnar manages to fuck up nicely, thereby saving the galaxy. Ragnar even took the spear of his Primarch and hurled it into the eye of Magnus the Red. Do note that this is as much canon as other BL anti-fluff shit.

Because of this, the Blood Ravens forge a weapon named after Ragnar, who tells them to keep their toys because he doesn't need it (though in all reality he had a suspicion that they were trying to 'fence' their 'gift' by giving it to him to evade Imperial authorities).

He and his pack once fought off 40 odd genestealsrs in close combat, in the actual game and fluff; fighting this many 'stealers in melee is a one way ticket to massive rending claw induced ASSRAPE for anything short of a vehicle with AV 12 on it backside. Yet somehow he managed to avoid being torn into gory paper thin pieces and come out on top. (He also manages this without being a Mary Sue). Why?/How? It's because he's a motherfucking Space Viking ((also the original game this happened in was 2nd Ed Herohammer and he was on Combat Drugs, WS8, S6, T5, A9, I10 and Rending didn't exist yet.)), and that's a trillion times better than faggoty Space Bugs that cynics and emos jack off to. Even if said Space Vikings have an obsessive wolf fetish. So.... basically they are still Mary Sues.

The Fate of Lemon Russ

Of Leman Himself, you ask? Legends state that after a great feast, He said unto his warriors:

"Listen closely Brothers, for my time is short. . There shall come a time far from now when our Chapter itself is dying, even as I am now dying, and our foes shall gather to destroy us. Then my children, I shall listen for your call in whatever realm of death holds me, and come I shall, no matter what the laws of life and death forbid. At the end I will be there. For the final battle. For the Wolftime."

And so, Leman departed, with the 13th Great Company at his side... Some say he searches for a means to revive His God-Emperor.. But despite the efforts of the Great Hunt, Leman remains beyond the reach of Man... Who knows what great feats of Heroism he undertakes....

. . . Oh, who the fuck are we kidding? Leman got lost in the Warp and became a Daemon Primarch of Kho-

//Historitor 109.163.233.200 decommissioned by Inquisitorial decree.//

He was, in fact, turned into a small girl. (Holy shit! A change like that can only mean that Magnus must have gotten revenge.) And if by that you think we mean, "Russ had a shitton of bastard children everywhere and one was a mutant that could shapeshift" then yes; only because Russ's kids turning into wolves is nothing new. Nobody really knows if this had happened before he went to Warhammer Fantasy and made the Norscans or not, but since they aren't vikings out of a shoujo anime, we can make a pretty good educated guess. Somehow, he found his way back to the Dark Millenium, still stuck in the form of a small girl. Luckily, he has been picked up by a traveling Rogue Trader, convincing him to hitch him a ride to Fenris in return for imparting his ten millennia of wisdom to help him in his business ventures. Beside an obvious reference to somebody's fanfiction, Rogue Traders are known to have carte blanche (unless the Inquisition is peering over their shoulder), making them utterly corrupt. We all know that this Rogue Trader picked up Russ with other intentions. Still, it's a well known fact that the phrase "fucking Leman Russ" can only be used descriptively or receptively, so we can infer Russ has earned himself an eminent ass slave with a ship. Despite having lost use of little Russ an undetermined time ago. That fucking Leman Ru-*BLAM*EXTRA HERESY!

(But seriously, we have no idea. There HAVE been sporadic reports of sightings of the 13th great Company with Russ leading them, for what that's worth. And Magnus has mentioned that he knows exactly what happened to Russ, but it's not like he'd ever tell them.)

Organization

The wolves tacking on a Tyranid horde.

Since they only see the Codex Astartes as a source of toilet paper (if even that), the Space Wolves have roles and titles far different from the standard Space Marine chapters. Additionally, while traditional chapters each hold ten ~100-strong companies, the Space Wolves instead have 12 autonomous companies, each of which is in varying strength and since they aren't bound by the Codex, each company may have more than 100 marines on hand. However, the Space Wolf legion was never particularly numerous, pre-heresy, in the first place due to their unstable gene-seed (The fact that Magnus the Red destroyed the long-sought cure to this during his attack on Fenris for this didn't help). Thus while unbound by the Codex, Space Wolf companies are typically slow to reinforce their numbers due to said unstable gene-seed.

With 12 independent Great Companies (each with their own fleets, logistics support etc), this means that even if each Great Company had 100 brothers, they would outnumber a normal codex-compliant Spess Mehreens chapters by at least 20%. This is corroborated by the latest 7E codex which has rules for playing a Great Company on its own; consisting of eleven squads of varying size.

However since each Great Company doesn't bother to limit themselves to 100 (some Space Wolves great companies sometimes number over 300 brothers) it means that they outnumber codex chapters by an even greater degree, so with that said, the Apocalypse formation for the same thing has no hard limit on the number of Blood Claw squads that may be taken, so will probably represent a good period of recruitment for the Chapter. Therefore the total numbers will vary over time in response to casualties and recruitment rates but can reasonably reach estimations of 3000 marines or more; several times the official codex strength at peak times. But currently though, Logan Grimnar's own company is the largest in the chapter and it totals 200 exactly by 998.M41 (not counting the "Great Wolf" assets like Dreadnoughts & Priests) whilst Ragnar Blackmane's is said to be second, also currently sitting at 162 marines.

Hierarchy

The different ranks and assignments for the Wolves are the following:

• Great Wolf: The Chapter Master of the Space Wolves, the Great Wolf is chosen from among the Wolf Lords by virtue of having the most furry porn being the most badass of an army of space vikings. The Great Wolf is effectively the First Captain of the Space Wolves, commanding an elite Great Company that includes the members of the three Priesthoods and the Chapter's Dreadnoughts. Logan Grimnar serves as the current Great Wolf.

• Wolf Lord: The Brother-Captains of a company in Codex Chapters (although more like a watered-down vanilla chapter master), Wolf Lords lead their Great Companies and charge the Iron Priests with maintenance of its motor pool and the Wolf Priests with recruiting new Astartes.

• Wolf Guard: A cross between Veterans and Honour Guard, Wolf Guards serve as the body guard of the Wolf Lord and leading packs in battle, serving as the Space Wolves version of a Brother-Sergeant. They also get Terminator armour. In Second Edition they also got to take any weapons they liked and could be built from stock parts with an Assault Cannon and Cyclone Missile Launcher. This led to many games being won as Assault Force Dickhead rampaged across the table murdering everything.

• Wolf Priest: Combining the role of Apothecary and Chaplain, the Wolf Priests do the standard roles of preaching and medical duties, but are also charged with recruiting Aspirants for their companies.

• Iron Priest: The Iron Priests serve the role of Techmarines, overseeing the motorpool and equipment of the companies they belong to.

• Rune Priest: Taking the role of Librarians in Codex Chapters, Rune Priests are the psykers of the Space Wolves. However, instead of seeing their powers as coming from the Warp, they hold that their powers come from the world spirit of Fenris, and consult the runes in a means to divine the future. Trying to explain to the Rune Priests that they're drawing power from the Warp, and that they cannot "draw their powers from Fenris" while being half-Galaxy away from it will usually result in the non-Space Wolf getting a month's stay in the Apothecarion. The ultimate irony of this is that they are, in reality, Sorcerers, which they denounced the Thousand Sons for.

• Wolf Scouts: Each Great Company will have members who shun their pack brothers and are shunned in return, preferring the company of more somber individuals, Wolf Scouts serve to scout out enemy positions and terrain. As opposed to the regular codex, Wolf Scouts tend to be veterans of battle able to rein in their savage rage.

• Lone Wolf: Space Wolves who are the last of their pack. The loss of their brethren drive them to seek a glorious death in combat at the hands of some form a fell enemy. Think of Dwarf Slayers only a few metres tall with powered armour and weapons of doom and destruction. Often the only way out of the Lone Wolf lifestyle is managing to kill something that the individual shouldn't have survived killing and being elevated into the Wolf Guard.

• Skyclaws: Skyclaws are the trouble makers among a Chapter of trouble makers, forced to wear Jump Packs. The Space Wolves view Jump Packs as an insult, reasoning that if the Emperor wanted them to fly, he would have given them wings. Snide comments regarding Sanguinius result in a short game of tug-o-war involving the offending battle-brother's beard.

• Thunderwolf Cavalry: Space Wolves who function in a manner similar to a Bike Squad, but instead of actual bikes, they use Fenrisian Wolves, which can be the size of a small car... yeah, we don't get it either.

• Long Fangs: Taking the role of Devastators, Long Fangs are veterans who have grown long in the fang. No pun here - Space Wolves' teeth actually lengthen as they age, as an effect of a mutated Betcher's Gland.

• Grey Hunter: Having the role of Tactical Marines, Grey Hunters are those Marines who have been promoted out of the Blood Claws.

• Blood Claws: Neophyte Space Wolves who serve in the Assault Marine roles of Codex Chapters. Bear in mind Assault is the Space Wolves specialty. Yes, they like to rip and tear and rape . No no no. that is the Blood Angels. The Wolves have just made everyone think this to scare the shit out of them, meanwhile getting shit done. Blood Claws are still deciding whether to go along with this, or turn wulfen and reinforce the stereotype - just as planned.

Other Assets

The Space Wolves have an impressive number of other gadgets and gizmos going for them.

Not least the fact that the Fang (Aett) is one of the three most defended locations in the entire Imperium (the other two being the Imperial Palace on Terra and the Keep Inviolate on Metalica the homeworld of House Raven) and is tall enough that entire battlefleets can dock with the fortress.

Speaking of battlefleets; the Wolves themselves have a navy to rival most others, with eight Battle Barges and more than thirty Strike Cruisers, which in terms of logistical support could accommodate over 5400 fighting men. As well as this, they have TWO Star Forts and over forty escort squadrons. To let you know how much firepower this counts as, some lesser known chapters would consider themselves fortunate to have even a single battle-barge. Even the Grey Knights have only four Barges and twelve strike cruisers, so basically when Fenris held off the Grey Knights during the Months of Shame, they had plenty going for them.

They also have over one-hundred Dreadnoughts stored in stasis vaults within their fortress depths, where/how they accumulated them is uncertain and considering that most other chapters tend to have around two or three Dreadnoughts per company, they likely outnumber nearly anyone else by a considerable margin. (For comparison, the Blood Angels have 35 dreadnoughts listed in their rolls of battle)

Not to mention the packs of feral wulfen that they can scrounge up... Yeah they might happen to have a shit ton of unregistered mutated werewolf murder machines lying around as 'failed' aspirants.

Oh, and all the "actual" Fenrisian Wolves & Thunderwolves that the chapter can muster.

Combat doctrine

"The best way to defeat a Space Wolf is to wolf his wolf. You must be careful, though, because if the Space Wolf wolfs your wolf first, then your wolf is wolfed."
—Attributed to Wolf Rider Volk Wolfclaw, On the Weaknesses of the Space Wolf Doctrine.

"A good way to get into a state of pure wolfness, would be that you shall wolf the wolf until the wolfing wolf wolfs. Then, when the wolf wolfs your wolfness, the wolves of the wild will wolf your wolf up. Wolf!"
—Attributed to Wolf Master Jonal Wolfhand, "The Call of the Nightblizzard".

"Wolf wolf wolf wolf wolfity wolf. Wolf wolf, wolfo wolfy wolf wolf wolf. Wolf? Wolf!"
—Attributed to Wolf Lord Egil Ironwolf, On the Intricacies of Tactical Wolffare.

All wolf jokes aside while they do not follow the codex Astartes the Space Wolves do use tactics and strategy. Theirs just involve a lot more choppa to face then the average space marine chapter.

Though they like to stand up for the little guy within the Imperium, the Wolves favour Burn It All tactics when faced with planets which resisted compliance, and later Traitor planets. To be fair when it comes to the latter, they're probably not that different to most Chapters 9though the Salamanders and Celestial Lions do their best to minimise civilian losses and bring the population back into the fold).

Daily rituals of a Space Wolf

1300 - Wake Up with Hangover - The Space Wolf awakens from his booze/drug-induced coma and begins the day. Headaches abound. Aspirin is consumed by the ton.
1310 - Morning Piss - The Space Wolf empties the alcohol that has accumulated in his bladder(s) in the Sacred Alcohol Excretion Grounds.
1320 - Morning Piss Ends - The Space Wolves have finally finished urinating.
1330 - Ritual Intake of Alcoholic Beverages - The Space Wolf now cracks open his first cold one of the day. The first of many. Cheerios may be consumed as well.
1345 - Firing Drills - The Space Wolf consumes another litre of alcohol before going out back and shooting empty beer bottles with his bolter. This takes place far away from the Alcohol Excretion Grounds, after that one time Brother Brynjolf accidentally lit his own piss on fire, and ended up in sickbay until his beard grew back and he was thus fit to be seen in public again.
1400 - Freeze your Gonads - The Space Wolf sheds his armor and most of his clothing to wander around Asaheim for an hour.
1500 - Feeding of the Land Raiders - Space Wolf observes a feast with his brothers in honour of the chapter's revered battle machines. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.
1530 - Boozing of the Land Raiders - No feast is complete without shittons of liquor. Ale and beer are poured and scrubbed all over the most honoured of the chapter's war machines. Many still have bullet holes, sometimes allowing beer to get into the exhaust ports and make for kickass explosions later. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.
1600 - Wolf your Wolf - Grey Hunters and older Space Wolves take this time to play with their favourite 4-legged companions. Blood Claws are still wandering around outside naked in the snow.
1630 - Save the Blood Claws - Blood Claws are brought in from the cold. Most are frozen blue or black - and hungry for more.
1700 - Evening feast - Eat. Drink. Start brawls. The usual non-warzone Space Wolf thing.
1800 - Try to wake up Bjorn.
1810 - Give up, try to find something fun on the Vox Saga.
1900 - Night shitter break.
2000 - Night firing drills - Much to the Iron Priest's dismay, the Space Wolves practice writing their names in the snow. With bolters. In runes. In the dark.
2100 - Ritual Intake of Narcotics and Purging of Testicles - Bitches and blow.
0500 - Daily Rest - The Space Wolf passes out.

Space Wolves in the 5th edition Codex

These days Space Wolves have developed a slight wolf obsession. Whether they're riding wolves, naming their armor and weapons "wolf" gear, discussing wolf husbandry with the Wolf Priest, or removing Nurgle from play with their mighty Wolf of the Wolf Wolf power, it's clear that a geneseed mutation has caused many of the Chapter's members to turn into closet furries. As a result, any post in /tg/ about Space Wolves used to instantly elicit a dump of Space Wolf furry porn and cries of "yiff," and "wolf!" It might still today if that sort of thing didn't get people banned.

However, all the same they remain quite popular as an army. Many play them because they still enjoy the idea of Space Vikings, but others play because every unit in their codex comes cheaper than standard Spess Mehreenes. Long Fangs, for example, come so much cheaper that each squad saves around forty to fifty points or so over their Devastator equivalents, which is pretty fucking sweet for them but leads to crankiness in players of the vanilla Space Marine codex.

Naturally, some Space Wolf players would want to insist that Space Wolves have nothing to do with furries, just as fans of Renamon might want to insist that Renamon isn't responsible for untold mountains of furry porn. However, facts are facts, and granted all the wolves fucking Marines this wikifag has seen posted on /tg/ so far, one would point out that it is pretty much /tg/ canon that the Space Wolves have kind of a problem. Nobody has to like it, but we do all have to understand that the Space Wolves have a disease which denial will not make disappear. But, on the bright side, their fixation remains solely on wolves, so at least we know there's kind of an epicenter for the illness. Alongside the Salamanders, the Space Wolves at least occasionally treat the normal people in their territory well, and stomped the high holy hell out of the Thousand Sons last time they tried to fight them. One wonders how many Thousand Sons are even left at this point.

We just checked. Only 1000 left. And I'm not making this shit up, eithe- wait, now it's 999. 998. Guess they aren't the THOUSAND Sons, anymore. Although... weren't there a LOT more than a thousand of them to begin with? They were a legion after all, not a chapter...

A Quick Word Out of Character

The true reason for all this, is that, we at /tg/, in our pathetic, low reaching mastery of comedy, have seen how idiotic it is that every Goddamn Space Wolf codex unnecessarily uses the word; 'wolf' as a prefix or a suffix in every 3rd sentence (similar to the tyranid codex shoe-horning the prefix bio- into every 3rd sentence). Since /tg/ is an easily angered monster, not unlike an Angry Marine, we attempt to furiously link Space Wolves to furries. As we are as fucked up as Chaos Pretty Marines.

It has been established in the Horus Heresy series that the VI Legion don't employ the word Wolf as much as they appear to. Wolf is readily apparent in their motifs, such as Leman Russ's titles as "Wolf-King" and "Great Wolf", as well as the formal name of the Wolf Guard, but it's not as overblown as it's made out to be. Apparently, whoever did the Fenrisian-to-Gothic translation made a few errors. First off, they don't call themselves the Space Wolves. When speaking formally, they refer to themselves as the Vlka Fenryka, which can be translated as "Wolves of Fenris" (which is worse than "Space Wolves", since Fenrir is the name of a wolf in Norse myth this makes it awesome). The term is more like "folk of Fenris" if Vlka is associated with the northern European 'Volk.' However, if Vlka is translated as the Russian for wolf, then we get the "Wolves of Fenris." Hence, Dan Abnett is using linguistics to reinforce his theme that the Space Wolves are misunderstood by the rest of the Imperium - called the Space Wolves because of a mistranslated word. When speaking informally, they refer to themselves as "the Rout", solidifying their purpose as the Emperor's executioners. Additionally, the post of "Wolf-Lord" is also a mistranslation, as they refer to their Company commanders as "Jarl". Finally, they don't call their fortress-monastery the Fang, but rather the Aett, which can be literally translated as "clan home" or "den" (How is "den" better than "the Fang"? It's still a reference to wolves) (It's better because a den is somewhere things live, like the marines live in the monastery. "Fang" is an obvious ass pull to make their wolf references more "hardcore").

There's also this in-universe meme "there are no wolves on Fenris". At all. This was started by one of the primarchs remarking that they should be called xenos, because they're natives of an alien plant, and it quickly morphed into a joke. But it goes a little deeper than that, presenting weird questions about where the whole wolf thing (and the actual wolves they ride/cuddle) come from. Long story short, they are furry cousins yee haah! Seriously...

With regards to the Fenrisian wolves, the origin a little more freaky than expected: they're not wolves, but descendants of human wolf mutants. Back when Fenris was first settled, the colonists had the Canis helix added to help them adapt to the harsh environment by adding wolf genes to their genetic-makeup. Unfortunately, it worked a little too well--the canix helix caused a number of settlers to degrade into wolfmen and wolfwomen. Following this, they bred and produced a new strain of wolf into the environment. So there are no wolves on Fenris. They're just the descendants of human mutants.

Of course, that means that the Space Wolves are wearing pelts made of human skin, but lets not dwell on that... WolfyWolfWolf *BLAM*.

HOPE

Matt Ward cannot corrupt the Space Wolves for alcoholic, cocaine-laced testosterone pumps through their veins! This gives them an IRL 2++ save against faggotry - sadly it appears that this article rolled a natural 1. HERESY!! *BLAM!* ALL OF YOU!!! *BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*.

And they are protected by Dan Abnett... who just left Space Wolf vets feeling a bit odd and childish somehow? The wolf thing was a cool "detail" in the past for this space marine chapter, now it feels like the canine version of Thundercats! Lion-o/Canis Wolfborn with his Lion claw riding giant(xenos)tigers and shit. Don't they both live in a big fang also? THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDERWOLVES, AAAAOOOOHHH!!! Yeah, until they realise that this is all for show. The Space Wolves act like the barbarians everyone thinks they are while having a hidden, serious side that displays the ruthless hunters who served as the Emprah's cunning executioners. So cunning, in fact, that their cover story involves having fun feasting, drinking and taking the piss out of those prissy emo monastic bastards.

Gallery

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  'Tis only a matter of time until Steve Blum voices 'em

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  Totally not overcompensating...Yeah he's just hiding a massive hardon with the skull

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  Leman Russ. About to mercilessly fuck over the Thousand Sons.

• 

  Is he carrying a wooden shield? Really? Against a bolt shell?

• 

  You better watch out, you better not die, you better not fight, I'm telling you why: Santa Grimnar's coming to town

See also

• Bjorn the Fell Handed
• Tactics/Space Wolves
• Warriors of Chaos - With whom they get into bar brawls and drinking contests to see who is moar Viking.