Wrassle Baba

Wrassle Baba is a barbarian build created on 8chan that proves the combat maneuver system is a viable build option for Pathfinder barbarians. A Lvl 20 barbarian using this build has an 81.2% chance to wrestle the Tarrasque and win within 2 rounds. This build requires only 3 feats and 1 item that you would not get normally (unarmed strike, improved grapple, greater grapple, grapple gauntlets). It uses the brutal pugilist chain of class features in exchange for other shit class features such as trap sense. everything else is fully functional with normal barbarian progression. orc bloodline from eldritch heritage is hilariously powerful in all barbarian situations. this build is therefore well within reach of most barbarians. It is not a minmax build; there are plenty of unspent feats and class features that are irrelevant to the purpose of grappling, and most of the abilities are useful for purposes other than grappling.

The Build

STRENGTH

lvl 20 barbarian

20 str start

5 str from ability gain

8 str from rage

5 str from manual

6 str from orc bloodline eldritch heritage

6 str from belt of giant strength

2 str from large size from titan armor/enlarge person permanency

52 strength total for +21 to str checks

CMB

20 BAB

21 str bonus

20 strength surge

2 improved grapple

2 greater grapple

2 gauntlets of skilled maneuver

1 pit fighter

1 large size from titan armor/enlarge

1 huge size from improved savage grapple

Total CMB = 74

TARRASQUE CMB=57 CMD=66

How Does This Play Out?

barbarian runs up and initiates a grapple using strength surge with a 95% chance to succeed. the tarrasque is now gains the grappled condition and loses 4 dex. barbarian now gains a +5 bonus to CMB to maintain grapple, but loses no dex becasue of improved savage grapple. the tarrasque now has CMB 57 and CMD 64. the barbarian now has CMB 59 and CMD 77 (assuming +6 dex mod and +5 deflection +1 brutal pugilist)

on tarrasque's turn it must now attempt to break the grapple, wasting its turn, or face being pinned next round. it has a 90% chance to fail the roll.

barbarians turn he gets 2 rolls at +5 to maintain the grapple because of greater grapple. CMB 59 vs CMD 64 with 2 rolls with each having 80% chance to succeed. do a binomial probability distribution function, and you get a 96% chance to succeed and pin the tarrasque.

taking the 95% chance to initiate, 90% to resist breaking the grapple, and 96% chance to pin together the barbarian has a 82.1% to pin the tarrasque in 2 rounds.

at this point the tarrasque is pinned and completely fucked. it has no dex bonus, -4 AC, and can take no actions except try to break the pin, with a 90% to fail.

On barbarian's 3rd turn, he can now roll to tie up the tarrasque with 99.75% chance. At this point the tarrasque is tied up, helpless, and unable to escape no matter what it does. the CMD of the rope is 79 and the tarrasque cannot escape even with a natural 20 on its grapple/escape artist check.

BARBARIAN IS NOW FREE TO DRAG TARRASQUE TO /d/ AND RAPE ITS EXPOSED, HELPLESS, DRIPPING, QUIVERING PUSSY WHILE IT MOANS AND CRIES INTO ITS BONDS IN SHAME

the barbarian has a 81.87% chance to reach this point within 3 rounds.The chance to win the grapple in a longer amount of time is much higher, probably around 90%. there are probably other class features and items lying around the rules that could help improve the chances even more.

I HAVE NOW PROVEN THAT GRAPPLE BARBARIANS ARE A VIABLE BUILD IN PATHFINDER, AND YOU MUST NOW STFU ABOUT GRAPPLE BEING A BROKEN TRAP OPTION FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME

No Fun Allowed

Note that this build relies on the assumption that the Tarrasque tries escaping through grapple rules only. Assuming you're not using magic unbreakable rope or something similar that the GM will never give you access to, the Tarrasque can simply burst the ropes with a Strength check which it can auto-pass with most any mundane rope.

You now have a bound tarrasque, wat do?

the barbarian drags the hogtied tarrasque to the village while the populace looks on first in fear, then in wonder. the local lord greats the barbarian, offers his thanks for saving the town, and his daughter's hand in marriage. Without a word, the barbarian disrobes. the audience gasps at the sight of his impossibly powerful musculature… and manhood. His massive erection builds strength as he slowy walks to the rear of the helpless tarrasque. It begins crying softly into the gag as it realizes what is coming next. The villagers, too stunned to react, watch silently in horror. The barbarian's erection grows to obscene proportions.

Now fully engorged, with thick, throbbing veins pulsing along its length, the barbarians massive penis is nothing less than a weapon. He leaps onto the tarrasques backside and forcefully enters its sex. The tarrasque bucks and strains against its bonds as the barbarian violates it with powerful rythmic thrusts. The speed of his performance increases as the barbarian begins to grunt with each stroke. The crowd is unable to look away from the spectacle.

Suddenly, the barbarian enters a furious rage. His muscles strain and flex under the enormous tension. The very fabric of reality seems to warp and crackle under the stress of the barbarian's power. Although it defies plausibility, his weaponized cock now bulges even larger, as his rage increases with each thrust. The tarrasque is now visibly on the edge of ecstasy and pain as it moans from the humiliation of being power fucked

The barbarian's grunts blend together and then escalate into a single continuous growl as his thrusts reach frantic speed. the villagers know he is on the edge of climax. Suddenly, The barbarian lets lose a surge of strength. he thunders a massive roar and a shockwave blows back the crowd. His powerful ejaculation forces its way through the monster at super sonic speed like the molten jet of a shaped charge. mutilating the tarraque's insides as it moves, the burning hot spear of semen reaches the monsters skull and richochets off the inside of its brain case untill its entire head explodes in a shower of gore.

Now exhausted and breathing heavily, the barbarian dismounts the broken monster, collects his things, and is never seen again.