Baneblade

Pew pew, bitches.

"IT IS THE BAAAAANEBLAAAAAAAADE!" ~ Captain Diomedes of the Blood Ravens.

The Baneblade is a big fucking Imperial tank Warhammer 40,000 universe. Known for an impressive arsenal (OF GUNS), and disappearing en masse. Besides looking totally kickass, it stomps a lot of ass. It is supposedly one of the oldest and largest tank designs used by the Imperium, despite that it's actually medium-sized according to the old Epic fluff.

Origins

The Baneblade first appeared in the Space Marine edition of Epic, where it was the Imperial Guard's standard super-heavy tank (it says a lot about the universe that there's such a thing as a "standard" one). This version was armed with a turret-mounted Battle Cannon (with the same stats as the one on the Leman Russ, despite the turret being the size of a Leman Russ), two Lascannons, and a bunch of dice worth of "bolters" to deal with swarms. Despite obviously having a big gun on the lower hull, there was no representation of it in the tank's rules. Fluff described the hull as the size of a city block.

Being a standard version, there were variants; at that point, only three.

• The Stormhammer was effectively a moving fortress, and the precise armament is hard to say given the odd way the game treated 'bolters;' anything from an officer unit's bolt pistols to both a Leman Russ' heavy bolters was one attack dice with the same stats. This means this particular monster might have up to 24 heavy bolters in addition to two turrets with two battle cannons each. Basically, you park it a place and then forget about that place, since it is now Defended.
• The Shadowsword was one of two Titan-killing variants, armed with two Lascannons and some Bolters like the Baneblade, but with the rear hull built up into a giant casemate mounting a fixed Volcano Cannon, a giant laser weapon normally mounted on Titans.
• The Stormblade was a second variant of the fixed-weapon hull, and proof of how incredibly fucking HUEG the old Epic fluff made the Baneblade chassis; no fruity lascannons for this one, the sponson weapons were a rack of missiles and a fucking Battle Cannon. Your main gun was a Titan-grade Plasma Blastgun with a Hellion anti-Titan missile slung on the top. Potential drivers had to produce written proof that they were bad enough dudes to save the President before they'd even be considered. Forge World makes a Stormblade, but it just sits there eating an entire sack of dicks because it knows it will never be cool enough to have a sponson Battle Cannon.

Warhammer 40,000

Scratchbuilt Baneblade models with homebrew (read: unfair) rules have been kicking around since roughly ten minutes after it was introduced in Epic, but it wasn't until Forge World that Games Workshop ever considered releasing an official model. The Baneblade is now available as a plastic kit from GW itself, along with a six-option kit for the casemate hull variants. The modern Baneblade is held to have a "Baneblade Cannon" (representing belated recognition that the thing in the turret is really huge and so probably not a Battle Cannon) with a coaxial autocannon, the same two Lascannons it always had, two linked Heavy Bolters in each sponson and another two on the hull front, and a Demolisher Cannon where the Mysterious Not A Weapon was once mounted. This leads to the well-known ELEVEN BARRELS OF HELL, though the vehicle has options for two more sponsons (each with another Lascannon and twin Heavy Bolter) which raises the bar to seventeen.

There are currently nine official variants (the Storm Hammer apparently having been forgotten somewhere along the line), with the names being a nightmarish jumble of "Bane," "Sword," "Storm," "Shadow," "Blade" and "Hammer" to the point it's difficult remembering which is which.

• The most common one, the Baneblade, uses the massive Baneblade Cannon capable of turning entire armies to soup with a single blast of its 10" template.
• The Hellhammer uses the shorter, but no less deadly Hellhammer Cannon which strikes harder but on a smaller area, giving exactly zero fucks about the cover in between.
• The Banehammer fields the Tremor Cannon, a weapon that can turn a huge segment of the battlefield into a patch of flying rubble, slowing down the enemy long enough for the rest of the army to destroy them. It can also carry around up to 10 models.
• The Banesword is a siege tank: its Quake Cannon can be fired as a barrage weapon at a massive range to destroy up to 15' away, use this to troll the WFB players on the next table.
• The Doomhammer is a tank-killer. With a modest 5" blast but with stats befitting a tank hunter, the Magma Cannon can reduce all but the largest of titans to scrap. Can also carry 10 men.
• The Shadowsword is a titan-killer. With a D-strength Volcano Cannon, and the ability to upgrade its BS, the Shadowsword has a very good chance of bringing down even the biggest of titans. This guy is your friend.
• The Stormlord is designed with but one purpose: to skullfuck MEQs. With the most dakka seen in Imperial armies (hell, ANYWHERE) in the form of a Vulcan Mega-Bolter, the ability to have up to 20 of its 40 passengers fire from its fighting platform and the option to have four lascannons, this tank WILL FUCK SHIT UP. Point at something that's un-fucked, and the Stormlord will fuck it. With its massive cannon. And NO lube.
• The Stormsword excels at city fighting. Able to turn entire building blocks to dust with a single shot, the tank's main weakness is the short range on its Stormsword Cannon.
• The Forge World Stormblade is armed with a dumb-looking Plasma Blastgun and can go fuck itself.

This thing is so awesome Commissar Yarrick uses a customized, "commandeered" Baneblade as his own transport. It's known as THE FORTRESS OF ARROGANCE.

Dawn of War

In the Dawn of War PC game the Baneblade is the IG super-heavy unit, equivalent to the Chaos Bloodthirster Daemon, or Eldar's Avatar of Khaine. Only it's better because instead of a winged Daemon cow or a big flaming homosexual in a loincloth, it's a fucking giant tank.

Its a well known fact that the crewmembers of Baneblades are chosen exclusively on the grounds of how big their balls are. This makes them able to shout "Failure is the weakness of the enemy" "Releasing ELEVEN barrels of hell" and "All guardsmen, Follow ME to GLOOREEEEY" and being the only badass non Hero unit in the entire Imperial Guard.

Gallery

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  General Sturn likes it hot and heavy.

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  ALL GUARDSMEN!

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  FOLLOW ME TO GLORY!

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  Make a compensation joke at your own expense.