Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka: Difference between revisions
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==Awesome Quotes== | ==Awesome Quotes== | ||
I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill ‘cos da boyz forgot what dere ‘ere for. | "I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill ‘cos da boyz forgot what dere ‘ere for. | ||
I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da ‘ead an’ I ‘membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don’t kill. | I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da ‘ead an’ I ‘membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don’t kill. | ||
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I’m death to anyfing dat walks or crawls, where I go nothin’ stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an’ we caught [[Commissar Yarrick|old one-eye]] when da speed freeks blew da humies’ [[Baneblade|big tanks]] ta bits. I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink. | I’m death to anyfing dat walks or crawls, where I go nothin’ stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an’ we caught [[Commissar Yarrick|old one-eye]] when da speed freeks blew da humies’ [[Baneblade|big tanks]] ta bits. I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink. | ||
I iz more cunnin’ than a grot an’ more killy than a dread, da boyz dat follow me can’t be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an’ our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead ‘uns. We burned dere port an’ killed dere bosses an’ left nothin’ but ruins behind. I’m Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an’ I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win! | I iz more cunnin’ than a grot an’ more killy than a dread, da boyz dat follow me can’t be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an’ our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead ‘uns. We burned dere port an’ killed dere bosses an’ left nothin’ but ruins behind. I’m Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an’ I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win!" | ||
All were found scrawled on the side of an Imperial Titan in legible Gothic. We suspected his good buddy "Clever" Nazdreg helped him with that. | All were found scrawled on the side of an Imperial Titan in legible Gothic. We suspected his good buddy "Clever" Nazdreg helped him with that. | ||
Revision as of 14:16, 9 November 2012
Ghazghull Mag Uruk Thraka is the Warlord of the largest Ork WAAAGH in existence. AND E IS DA BIGGEST AND DA BEST BOSS OOO SMASHES ALL DA UMIES
Overview
Ghazy started out as an Ork of very little standing or prestige in the Goff's Klan on the planet of Urk, where he also got his name 'Uruk', Yeah, we thought it was a LoTR reference too. Anyway, this meant that he was at least slightly tougher than the regular git, but hey, who's counting?
Anyway, an unknown group of Spess Mehreens decided to get down there and fuck those Ork faggots in Uruk. Oh, poor Ghazghkull tried to fight, (and the key word being 'tried') but a single bolter round tore into his skull, destroyed over 30% of his skull and pulped most of his brain. Rough, considering like most Orks he had little there to begin with. After the Spess Mehreens systematically raped everything with green skin and a cockney accent on Uruk, Ghazghkull, face down and ass up, was found by a particularly... creative Painboy known as Mad Dok Grotsnik, who rebuilt the small Ork's head with adamantium for... some reason.. it was never really explained..
Apparently metal plates unleash Psyker potential within Orks. Which also gave Ghazghkull some visions from Gork and Mork, convincing him he was blessed. So yeah, Orks can be religious too. So, after this, he became delusional- sorry, I mean't DESTINED FER GRAET DINGZZZ and rose to become Warboss of his tribe after a short period of 6 years. Guess he needed to check in with his Ork Minister. Anyway, here's where the lulzy shit starts going down. A year or two later, Uruk's sun began to die, killing boyz with radiation from severe Solar Flares. However, conveniently enough, a massive Space Hulk appeared and provided Ol' Ghazy a chance to be someone for a change. He decided to get all them boys on Uruk together and made for that Space Hulk. It failed to start up several times. In the warp of all places. Which also meant they got to fwack some lesser daemons while they waited.
Anyway they finally managed to reach Armageddon and the fine wars that we all know and love started out. They were all great failures, especially considering that every fucking strategy he tried was fucked over by Yarrick in the Second Armageddon War anyway. Then the SPESSSH MEHREEENZ arrived and it all went as well as you would expect things to go for the Orks when the Oh-So Awesome, Hyper-Religious Nazi Warriors of the Imperium decide to get their act together. Then the Third War for Armageddon started and Ghazgkhull got his ass kicked by an old man with an oversized and silly looking claw. What the fuck? Sometime between all of this, Yarrick swore to avenge the dead of Armageddon and kill Ghazgkhull. A rather strange thing to hear from a man who's job it is to kill his own soldiers when they so much as put their hands up or ask a question, but hey, we'll buy it.
Ghazgkhull developed an.. equally unhealthy relationship with Yarrick, regarding him as 'the bestest 'umie evar'
So in closing, blame those fucking Space Marines for the Second and Third Wars of Armageddon and the legions of Ork Fanboys who venerate Ghaszghkull like he was the friggin Emprah
Some consider Ghazghkhull to be the Warhammer 40K to Warhammer Fantasy's Grimgor Ironhide. But he's not nearly as Mary Sue-ish.
Awesome Quotes
"I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill ‘cos da boyz forgot what dere ‘ere for.
I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da ‘ead an’ I ‘membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don’t kill.
I’m da profit of da Waaagh an’ whole worlds burn in my boot prints. On Armour-Geddem, I led da boyz through da fire deserts and smashed da humies’ metal cities to scrap. I fought Yarik, old one-eye at Tarturus, an’ he fought good but we smashed iz city too.
I’m death to anyfing dat walks or crawls, where I go nothin’ stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an’ we caught old one-eye when da speed freeks blew da humies’ big tanks ta bits. I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink.
I iz more cunnin’ than a grot an’ more killy than a dread, da boyz dat follow me can’t be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an’ our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead ‘uns. We burned dere port an’ killed dere bosses an’ left nothin’ but ruins behind. I’m Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an’ I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win!"
All were found scrawled on the side of an Imperial Titan in legible Gothic. We suspected his good buddy "Clever" Nazdreg helped him with that.
See Also
- Makari, Ghazghkull's late banna-wava.