Leman Russ

Leman Russ (A.K.A The Great Lemon) is the primarch of the Space Wolves legion. He is a fuckhuge superhuman warrior of ungodly stubborn quality. He was such a pain in the ass that he was able to take a blow to the head from the Emperor's power fist. Granted he was knocked unconscious, but he still survived. General all-around badass deserving of so much respect, the Imperial Guard named their mainstay battle tank after him, so they didn't have to shit their pants every time they saw the Space Wolves.

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Where the hell did he come from?

When the Primarchs were LOST *BLAM* taken away from the almighty, fucking omniscient Emperor through Tzeentchian nonsense, Leman Russ' little capsule landed on Fenris, a planet of insanity. Locals there enjoy a hard brutal life of fishing, drinking, sailing, fucking, pillaging and conquering other tribes of people for the modest little islands they all have to live on.

So it was that little baby Russ left his capsule in the polar mountain region of Asaheim. There, some monstrous female wolf found him and said to herself "I WANT!". So Russ was raised by a Thunderwolf with her two pups.

Now a few years later, Russ and his wolf family were having a grand old time running around the mountains and killing the sheep and such of the humans there. Finally the king Thengir heard about the Wolf-man, and decreed he be captured and brought to his hall. So after killing Russ' mom during one of their raids, Russ was bound and gagged and dragged into the hall of the King.

Thengir took a wondrous interest in Russ and ordered he be educated. In a short time, Russ was trash-talking every short bastard who dared look at him the wrong way, and had become insanely good with weaponry. When Thengir finally died, all declared that Leman of the Russ become the new high King.

NOW WHAT?!

Russ conquered and took. He bartered and traded. He united the people of Asaheim under his rule. Somehow, the Emprah heard of it and realized it all had to be the work of a Primarch. So the he attended a royal banquet in the Hall of the Mountain Ki- I mean Leman Russ. The Emprah, using his awesomeness to disguise himself as some old geezer waited until the perfect timing and then, he challenged Russ to best him. Russ ate more than the Emprah. Russ drank more than the Emprah. By now, the Emprah was fairly surprised at finally being out-done by someone else, and revealed his true identity. While the paganfolk cried and screamed and hid their eyes, Russ gazed upon the Emperor and answered a challenge to combat.

For hours they dueled. For hours they parried and struck. Seeing no way to end the duel other than cheap-ass means, the Emperor punched Russ square in the face with his Power Fist. Big Empy didn't use a powerfist, he used a forcesword and lightning claw. He just punched him really hard.

When Russ awoke, god knows what happened. He ended up in command of the one Space Marine chapter that knows how to eat, drink, brawl and make war upon any asshole that mocks their Thunderwolf.

Russ and his Space Wolves had a goddamn good time during the Great Crusade, although it hasn't been written about so this is all we can guess. When that fag-ass Horus started whining and crying, Leman Russ and his Legion were on their way to Prospero to bring Magnus the Red to Terra for questioning. Horus intercepted the message and re-worded it to order Russ to destroy Magnus and his Thousand Sons. Russ and the Space Wolves carried out a class-10 clusterfucking on Prospero, to the point where Leman Russ himself lifted Magnus the Red over his shoulders and broke the sorcerer's back over his knee. But even so, the red bastard managed to utter one single word of power and escaped through the fucking ground. Russ was so enraged that he ordered the 13th company of Space Wolves to pursue the fleeing Thousand Sons through their pansy-ass portals.

Post-Heresy

Although unable to return to aid the Imperium in the Battle for Terra, Russ and the Space Wolves threw themselves headfirst into the post-heresy war efforts.

One-hundred years to the day after the Emperor's internment on the Golden Throne, during a feast in the halls of the Space Wolves fortress, Russ climbed upon a table to give a speech. He was stricken with a vision, and after standing there speechless for a few minutes, he fell to one knee, issued hushed orders to his retinue, and left. He left his sons with their first Wolf Lord; Bjorn the Fell Handed, and a message.

"The emperor calls, his cock I must blow! Farewell, but I will return! Return for the wolftime, when I shall destroy the anus of every wolf on fenris"

/tg/ theorizes that Leman Russ may return as Horo (Implying Horo isn't just one of Lemans' many, many bastard children growing up on some shithole Feudal world).

He has, in fact. A Rogue Trader picked him up and giving him a ride to Fenris, having many hilarious adventures on the way. *BLAM*

HERETICAL CROSSOVER BULLSHIT

1. REDIRECT ‎Warriors of chaos he fathered these guys after getting lost in the warp and dedicating himself to Khorne. *BLAM*

The Primarchs of the Space Marine Legions
Loyalist Corvus Corax - Ferrus Manus - Jaghatai Khan Leman Russ - Lion El'Jonson - Roboute Guilliman Rogal Dorn - Sanguinius - Vulkan
Traitor Alpharius/Omegon - Angron - Fulgrim Horus - Konrad Curze/Night Haunter - Lorgar Magnus the Red - Mortarion - Perturabo