Iron Hands: Difference between revisions

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Organisation and doctrine wise, the chapter follows the basic idea of the Codex Astartes, while changing all the bits they don't like or cannot follow due to the heavy losses/destruction of equipment at Isstvan V (yup 10,000 years later and the departmento munitorum has not yet resupplied them, fucking REMF's). Each company is called a "Clan" and there isn't a specific company for Scouts; instead each Clan recruits their own Neophytes. One the recruit is indoctrinated, his left hand is replaced with a cybernetic replacement. There are also rumours that dead warriors are instead replaced with automatons rather then new Neophytes. Due to the destruction of equipment at the Drop Site Massacre, the chapter lacks in Terminator armour and Dreadnoughts; this means that neither of these are common in Iron Hand forces (seriously that was like 10,000 years ago, WTF have they been doing all this time?). However veterans are often given suits of Terminator armour and placed in charge of leading squads of Tactical Marines, who see the suits [[Pauldrons|giant pauldrons]] as inspirational. Additionally, those few Dreadnought chassis are highly revered and sought after pieces of equipment, and being entombed within a Dreadnought is the considered the best fate possible for an Iron Hands Marine. Finally, due to their shared love of machines the Iron Hands and [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] are pretty much bros 4 lyfe, with much Bro-mance and fist bumping. ''01110100011011110111010001100001011011000110110001111001- Mhu Rho 6''
Organisation and doctrine wise, the chapter follows the basic idea of the Codex Astartes, while changing all the bits they don't like or cannot follow due to the heavy losses/destruction of equipment at Isstvan V (yup 10,000 years later and the departmento munitorum has not yet resupplied them, fucking REMF's). Each company is called a "Clan" and there isn't a specific company for Scouts; instead each Clan recruits their own Neophytes. One the recruit is indoctrinated, his left hand is replaced with a cybernetic replacement. There are also rumours that dead warriors are instead replaced with automatons rather then new Neophytes. Due to the destruction of equipment at the Drop Site Massacre, the chapter lacks in Terminator armour and Dreadnoughts; this means that neither of these are common in Iron Hand forces (seriously that was like 10,000 years ago, WTF have they been doing all this time?). However veterans are often given suits of Terminator armour and placed in charge of leading squads of Tactical Marines, who see the suits [[Pauldrons|giant pauldrons]] as inspirational. Additionally, those few Dreadnought chassis are highly revered and sought after pieces of equipment, and being entombed within a Dreadnought is the considered the best fate possible for an Iron Hands Marine. Finally, due to their shared love of machines the Iron Hands and [[Adeptus Mechanicus]] are pretty much bros 4 lyfe, with much Bro-mance and fist bumping. ''01110100011011110111010001100001011011000110110001111001- Mhu Rho 6''
In combat they are utterly unforgiving and relentless, hate [[Daemon|Daemons]] and the [[warp]] with a [[Angry Marines|rare and intense hatred]] and utterly despise [[heresy]] and [[blam|cowardice]]. During one particular campaign involving the rebellion of an entire sub-sector, the Iron Hands got in and [[Rip and Tear|fucked shit up so bad]] that they executed a third of the sub-sector's entire population. That is not killed. [[Commissar|Executed]]. As in the ones they did not kill in battle, and those who surrendered and begged for mercy. Despite this they are seen as a wholesome and pious chapter, unlike [[Flesh Tearers|some others that murder everything within sight regardless of whose side they're on]] [[Marines Malevolent|or level refugee camps because there are hostiles within the perimiter.]] Either way, don't piss them off lest you fuel their murderboner. And while on the subject of boners, it is believed they hate [[Slaanesh]] with the [[Rage|intense hatred]] of a billion [[Æonic Orb|Æonic Orbs]] because she's the Prince of Excess and the Iron Hands believe THE FLESH IS WEAK. This could mean they are more apt at fighting the minions of She Who Thirsts, but there is, as all things Iron Hands related, not much to elaborate on this.


In spite of all this weirdness and being part of the [[First Founding]], the Iron Hands remain one of the most forgettable Chapters among [[Games Workshop]] and the fandom at large. Seriously, even [[/tg/]] forgets about them half the time. <s>The only chapter who has it worse are the [[Raven Guard]], barring Kyvvan Shrike.</s> The fandom remembers the Raven Guard, the Iron Hands don't even get that consolation prize. To add self mutilation and cybernetic enhancement (insult) to injury, those who do remember them often get confused with the Iron Warriors, and these people are worse than heretics because at least a Heretic knows the difference between Corn and Khorne, but the term Iron seems to confuse many. Leading to much fuck'tardery comments like "Iron Within, Iron Without", these people are total bell-ends and deserve to be scorned.
In spite of all this weirdness and being part of the [[First Founding]], the Iron Hands remain one of the most forgettable Chapters among [[Games Workshop]] and the fandom at large. Seriously, even [[/tg/]] forgets about them half the time. <s>The only chapter who has it worse are the [[Raven Guard]], barring Kyvvan Shrike.</s> The fandom remembers the Raven Guard, the Iron Hands don't even get that consolation prize. To add self mutilation and cybernetic enhancement (insult) to injury, those who do remember them often get confused with the Iron Warriors, and these people are worse than heretics because at least a Heretic knows the difference between Corn and Khorne, but the term Iron seems to confuse many. Leading to much fuck'tardery comments like "Iron Within, Iron Without", these people are total bell-ends and deserve to be scorned.

Revision as of 18:16, 10 September 2012

Iron Hands
Battle Cry The Flesh Is Weak!
Number X
Founding First Founding
Successors of N/A
Successor Chapters Red Talons, Brazen Claws, Sons of Medusa, Steel Confessors
Chapter Master Kardan Stronos/The Great Clan Council
Primarch Ferrus Manus
Homeworld Medusa
Strength 1000 Marines
Specialty Bionics
Allegiance Imperium
Colours Black and White
An Iron Hands Space Marine.

The Iron Hands are (like most of their fellow chapters who originated from the first founding) completely bat shit crazy. The chapter worships their ancient Father who got a bad case of worms and ended up with Silver metal hands (sounds a bit like the 18th century method of using mercury to cure Syphilis) and subsequently now believe that flesh is weak and as a result the marines try to copy their Primarch and replace their body parts with machinery and cybernetic implants. This is all part of an undoubtedly freudian complex brought about by penises a deep-seated oedipus complex the loss of their primarch during the Drop Site Massacre on Isstvan V. Of course, the chapter decided to blame everyone except the legion whose primarch made Ferrus Manus considerably shorter. WE BLAME EVERY--FUCKING--ONE! But a special place is reserved for the Traitors and the two Legions who lost heart and failed to carry the Assault to the Traitors and broke and ran. WEAK!

The chapter itself is ruled by the Great Clan Council, composed up of 10 seats, each representing one of the ten clans (the Iron Hand equivalent of a company). The clans themselves are all highly autonomous and are nomadic, travelling across Medusa in mobile fortresses. Each clan nominates a warrior to represent them at the Great Clan Council and together, the ten warriors get into all sorts of debates and political shenanigans. The logic behind this is that with no central leadership role, the chapter cannot be lead astray like so many others have. This immediately makes the Iron Hands smarter then the rest of the fucking Warhammer 40,000 universe because were smart enough to realise that having everyone lead by a defacto dictator was a pretty retarded idea. Then again, they also believe that replacing their dicks with drills is the best fucking idea in the world, so I suppose your mileage may vary.

Organisation and doctrine wise, the chapter follows the basic idea of the Codex Astartes, while changing all the bits they don't like or cannot follow due to the heavy losses/destruction of equipment at Isstvan V (yup 10,000 years later and the departmento munitorum has not yet resupplied them, fucking REMF's). Each company is called a "Clan" and there isn't a specific company for Scouts; instead each Clan recruits their own Neophytes. One the recruit is indoctrinated, his left hand is replaced with a cybernetic replacement. There are also rumours that dead warriors are instead replaced with automatons rather then new Neophytes. Due to the destruction of equipment at the Drop Site Massacre, the chapter lacks in Terminator armour and Dreadnoughts; this means that neither of these are common in Iron Hand forces (seriously that was like 10,000 years ago, WTF have they been doing all this time?). However veterans are often given suits of Terminator armour and placed in charge of leading squads of Tactical Marines, who see the suits giant pauldrons as inspirational. Additionally, those few Dreadnought chassis are highly revered and sought after pieces of equipment, and being entombed within a Dreadnought is the considered the best fate possible for an Iron Hands Marine. Finally, due to their shared love of machines the Iron Hands and Adeptus Mechanicus are pretty much bros 4 lyfe, with much Bro-mance and fist bumping. 01110100011011110111010001100001011011000110110001111001- Mhu Rho 6

In combat they are utterly unforgiving and relentless, hate Daemons and the warp with a rare and intense hatred and utterly despise heresy and cowardice. During one particular campaign involving the rebellion of an entire sub-sector, the Iron Hands got in and fucked shit up so bad that they executed a third of the sub-sector's entire population. That is not killed. Executed. As in the ones they did not kill in battle, and those who surrendered and begged for mercy. Despite this they are seen as a wholesome and pious chapter, unlike some others that murder everything within sight regardless of whose side they're on or level refugee camps because there are hostiles within the perimiter. Either way, don't piss them off lest you fuel their murderboner. And while on the subject of boners, it is believed they hate Slaanesh with the intense hatred of a billion Æonic Orbs because she's the Prince of Excess and the Iron Hands believe THE FLESH IS WEAK. This could mean they are more apt at fighting the minions of She Who Thirsts, but there is, as all things Iron Hands related, not much to elaborate on this.

In spite of all this weirdness and being part of the First Founding, the Iron Hands remain one of the most forgettable Chapters among Games Workshop and the fandom at large. Seriously, even /tg/ forgets about them half the time. The only chapter who has it worse are the Raven Guard, barring Kyvvan Shrike. The fandom remembers the Raven Guard, the Iron Hands don't even get that consolation prize. To add self mutilation and cybernetic enhancement (insult) to injury, those who do remember them often get confused with the Iron Warriors, and these people are worse than heretics because at least a Heretic knows the difference between Corn and Khorne, but the term Iron seems to confuse many. Leading to much fuck'tardery comments like "Iron Within, Iron Without", these people are total bell-ends and deserve to be scorned.

Chapters of the Adeptus Astartes
First Founding
(M29)
Blood AngelsDark AngelsImperial FistsIron HandsRaven GuardSalamandersSpace WolvesUltramarinesWhite Scars
Second Founding
(021.M31)
Angels of AbsolutionAngels EncarmineAngels PorphyrAngels of RedemptionAngels SanguineAngels of VengeanceAngels VermillionAurora ChapterBlack ConsulsBlack GuardBlack TemplarsBlood DrinkersBrazen ClawsCrimson FistsDestroyersDoom EaglesEagle WarriorsExcoriatorsFists ExemplarFlesh TearersGenesis ChapterInceptorsIron SnakesLibatorsLions SableMaraudersMortifactorsNemesisNovamarinesObsidian GlaivesPatriarchs of UlixisPurple StarsPraetors of OrpheusRampagersRaptorsRed TalonsRevilersSilver EaglesSilver SkullsSoul DrinkersStorm LordsWhite ConsulsWolf Brothers
Third to
Twelfth Founding
(M32-M35)
Astral ClawsAngels PenitentAngels RevenantCharnel GuardDark PaladinsExecutionersFlesh EatersHalo BrethrenHowling GriffonsIron KnightsMantis WarriorsMarines MalevolentNight SwordsSable Swords (initial) - Scythes of the EmperorSpace SharksSons of Guilliman
Thirteenth Founding
(M35)
Death SpectresExorcists
Fourteenth to
Twentieth Founding
Angels of FireAvenging SonsCelebrants
Twenty-First Founding
(991.M35)
Black DragonsBlood GorgonsFire HawksFlame FalconsLamentersMinotaursSons of AntaeusTiger Claws
Twenty-Second to
Twenty-Sixth Founding
(M35-M41)
Angels of VigilanceAngels ExcelsisCelestial LionsDark HuntersDisciples of CalibanEmperor's SpearsFire AngelsGolden SonsHospitallersImperial HarbingersIron LordsKnights of the RavenMarines ErrantMentorsFire Claws/RelictorsStar PhantomsSubjugators
Ultima Founding
(999.M41/000.M42 to 012.M42)
Angels of DefianceBlack VipersBlades of VengeanceCastellans of the RiftCovenant of FireDark KrakensFulminatorsKnights CeruleanKnights of the ChaliceKnights of ThunderNecropolis HawksNemesorsPraetors of UltramarPrime AbsolversRift StalkersSilver DrakesSilver TemplarsSons of the PhoenixStorm ReapersUmbral KnightsUnnumbered SonsValiant BladesVoid TridentsWolfspear
Unknown Founding AbsolversAccipitersAdulatorsAngel GuardAngels EradicantAngels of RetributionAstral KnightsBlood RavensBlood SwordsBrazen DrakesBringers of JudgementBrothers PenitentCarmine BladesCowled WardensCrimson CastellansCrimson ConsulsCrimson ScythesDark HandsDark SonsDeath EaglesDoom WarriorsEmperor's ShadowsFire LordsGuardians of the CovenantGraven SpectresHammers of DornHarbingersHawk LordsInvadersIron CrusadersIron TalonsJade DragonsKnights of BloodKnights UnyieldingMarines ExemplarThe NamelessNight WatchRainbow WarriorsReclaimersRed HuntersRed ScorpionsRed SeraphsRed TemplarsRetributorsSable Swords (refounded) • Shadow WolvesSolar HawksSons of OrarStar DragonsStormwatchersStorm GiantsStorm WardensValedictorsViper LegionVorpal SwordsWhite TemplarsStorm Wings
Unsanctioned Founding Consecrators (founding unknown, but likely after 2nd Founding) • Sons of Medusa (separated from parent Chapters, ratified by edict) • Steel Confessors (de facto 22nd Founding, de jure ratified by edict) • Ashen Claws (separatist Raven Guard Legion exiles, nominal loyalists)
Others Astartes PraesesDeathwatchGrey KnightsJudgedLegion of the Damned