Fulgrim

Fulgrim in all his psychotic, bishōnen hawtness.

Fulgrim was the HAWTEST goddamn ass hole in the galaxy. He was so hot, that his residual HAWTNESS made the rest of humanity the HAWTEST race in the galaxy. Therefore, all the ugly xenos had to fucking die for the crime of not being human and therefore HAWT. Angron thinks that he's a prissy little faggot and regularly pays his daemonworld visits where he pummels Fulgrim's four armed snake ass into a bloody pulp and generally makes a mockery of Slaanesh in General.

We keep saying "was" because of the fact that he's now a giant snake daemon-prince thingy that barely resembles anything of human perfection or hawt.

Actually, his soul's stuck in a painting. LOLWUT... Or not, he may have been able to exorcise himself, but this is uncertain as it could be the daemon lying it's ass off.

Youth

Like his brother Primarchs the infant Fulgrim was abducted by the 4 gods of chaos that wasn´t really into the whole Primarch thing. And like his brother Primarchs he was eventually thrown onto a planet of his own since the 4 gods found out that raising infant primarchs really wasn´t worth the trouble, especially when you can get some other suckers to do it for you.

Fulgrim landed on the planet Chemos, whose people had been dependent on interstellar trade to make everything work (basically it was bunch of lazy people). So when the Eldar started to fuck around and creating huge warpstorms, the people was more or less fucked as the planet didn´t have the resources to sustain such a large population.

When baby Fulgrim landed the planets resources had been so stretched that any orphan found was normally killed as to not put further strain on the planets dwindling resources. Indeed the scouts that found him during a storm debated the very thing as to whether or not they should kill the infant.

In hindsight if they had done it Ferrus Manus might still be alive, but then Roboute Gulliman would also be around and kicking, so it’s debatable as to whether or not killing him would have been the right thing to do.

Unfortunately for the scout arguing for the death of the infant, the infant primarch was equipped with a little failsafe called adorable cuteness that made most people want to protect him. So the unlucky scout got the knife... literally.

The two remaining scouts named the infant Fulgrim in honor of one of the ancient gods of Chemos….bet that did worlds of good for the Primarchs already bloated ego.

How the scouts where able to persuade the leaders of the planet to keep the young Fulgrim alive is unknown, but since the story doesn´t mention any more killing the scouts properly didn´t use the knife argument.

The story then takes the usual Primarch route. Fulgrim started to work, got better, improved the living standards of the planet and eventually became its ruler. Being the ruler and actually managing to show the lazy bastards of Chemos how to do actual work the planet started to produce surplus once again. Without the immediate threat of starvation Fulgrim reintroduced art and music to the people of Chemos, though knowing Fulgrim's taste it’s highly unlikely that the art would be comicbooks and the music being heavy metal. All in 50 years, just in time for the Emperor to come and kick Fulgrim off his lazy ass and make him join the navy/great crusade.

Horus Heresy

During the heresy, Fulgrim tried to persuade Horus to stop his heresy, but then Horus somehow managed to coerce Fulgrim into joining him which some fa/tg/uys suspect that it was a promise of untold amounts of drugs and buttsecks. After he rebelled he killed Ferrus Manus his bestest friend. Then the Daemon possessing his sword said sweet nothings into his ear promising he'd off Fulgrim and ease his pain.....A Sword, that talks to you in your head, is promising not to fuck you over. Riiiiight. Fulgrim gets his soul squashed, paintings get haunted, etc etc etc. (Or not? Black Library loves fucking with brains.)

On an interesting note, Horus promises to save his brother from his fate, which is insane since he just spent all day fucking over everyone else. (Horus, he crazy)

Then some kind of Evileeee-hee fucking Slaaneshi daemon took over his body and turned him into a giant painting (a giant painting painted with shit, blood, and rotting corpses) in a shitty old closet where Slaanesh stores his/her/its dildos. (He claims to have exorcised the daemon from himself, but was forced to admit that he was lying when Lorgar threatened to expose his posession to the other traitor Legions.)

Theeeeen he turned into a 4-armed snake wielding poisoned blades who has no personality whatsoever. Yeah, I don't quite understand that part either. (Horus Heresy updates are sure to come later.....as with everything else in this god damn article.)

By the way he's the primarch of the Emperor's Children.

Oh there's a bit more then just that... Fulgrim is like fucking retarded... he picks up a sword made by Xenos, which just whispers 24/7 "FUCK EVERYONE TO DEATH!!!" in his head all the time because of the fact that it was possessed by a Slaaneshi Greater Daemon, and Fulgrim is like "This is a completely normal sword that is not telling me to FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES TO DEATH!" and everyone believes him. Even after Elrad himself says the sword is fucking insane and is trying to make him like fuck himself and the whole galaxy to death, Fulgrim is like "NAH-Ah YOUR MOMA'S INSANE, BITCH!" And then right when the Heresy kicks off and Slaanesh starts fucking about in his body, Fulgrim is all like "I'M SOO FUCKING STUPID!!! AND I'M STUCK IN THIS PAINTING BECAUSE I'M A RETARD!".

TL-DR: Fulgrim's sword fucked him in the ass; this makes him asinine, especially considering the fact that he used it to kill his best friend, a man who could punch weapons into existence with his bare (metal) hands.

Despite everything about him that screams "flaming homo" and/or "Anime Character", he did get shit done in the heresy/post-heresy killing two other Primarchs which is pretty badass. In fact, we all should be grateful he put Grand daddy smurf in stasis.

Gallery

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  The face that launched a 1,000 slashfics. The sad part is that dialogue is lifted directly from a Horus Heresy book.

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  One sexy and psychopathic bastard.

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  Here he's an ugly bald old man covered in scars. NOT HAWT. Also he has black wings for some reason. ORIGINAL WINGS DO NOT STEAL

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  Ferrus is such a troll.

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  His perfection will drive you to the point of orgasm.

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  The vidya geam

The Primarchs of the Space Marine Legions
Loyalist Corvus Corax - Ferrus Manus - Jaghatai Khan Leman Russ - Lion El'Jonson - Roboute Guilliman Rogal Dorn - Sanguinius - Vulkan
Traitor Alpharius/Omegon - Angron - Fulgrim Horus - Konrad Curze/Night Haunter - Lorgar Magnus the Red - Mortarion - Perturabo

Also, he got fucked in the ass by a medieval torture instrument in the latest Black Library book. This is CANON!