Trazyn the Infinite

This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen.

This article is awesome. Do not fuck it up.

He's come to steal your shit! (Probably literally, if it's rare enough) And if you're (un)lucky, he might even steal you.

"I welcome all... to a place in my carefully curated collection!"

– The kleptomaniac himself, presenting the Necron faction in Battlefleet Gothic Armada 2

"I give my all to all I see, see? And all I see I give to me!"

– Huxley, Sesame Street villain

"What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine too!"

– Repo Man, WWF wrestler

"Greetings, Orikan! I apologise for having to borrow back my astrarium. I know how deeply you appreciated it, but you work too hard, my astromancer. Consider this a relaxing break. And what is more relaxing than a hunt? These creatures are from an Imperial jungle planet, and so famous that the locals named their local regiment after them. Highly venomous - not that it would bother you, dear colleague - and can grow to over fifteen khut long when they reach maturity. But the real challenge is how quick they breed. In fact, I would recommend you start the pursuit quickly. Fourteen juveniles were in this particular gift. Or was it sixteen? Anyway, within twelve hours the population will have established roving kin groups to place their eggs. Did I forget to mention the eggs? Half of the breeding pairs already have sacs. The population will double in less than twenty-four hours, provided they don't eat too many of the young. Happy hunting!"

– A letter written by Trazyn to Orikan after stealing an ancient artifact from him

Trazyn the Infinite, also known as Trollzyn the Tarpit Breaker and Trazyn the Grave Robber, or Possibly Trazyn the shiny Stealer, is the best Necron Overlord/Phaeron (while technically his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rules his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a Tomb King, a Bloody Magpie and the Terminator, with a hint of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Trazyn the Infinite, ruler of the Tomb World named Solemnace (which happens to be a Dyson Sphere powered by a C'tan), is a self-proclaimed preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, one of the preserved heads of Sebastian Thor, the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Custodes who was still wearing it. This means that he is one of only two entities in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the Blood Ravens (the other being the Deffskullz.) In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a Lychguard or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.

(That's how the original fluff handled it; the crunch rules implied (and current fluff now confirms) that he either sends a proxy body as well as his real one or simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, Cryptek, or whatever else is left in the vicinity. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. Oh, and you didn't get Slay The Warlord by the way. Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth he has a voice actor now via Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II, who actually sounds like a mechanical version of Terl (though he isn't voiced by John Travolta): "Oh, dear! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guardsmen! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")

/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet trollish attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ever put into the fluff.

Wait, obsessed with collecting stuff, never gets enough, is Trazyn us? NO, WE ALL ARE ALPHARI- Oh, look at the hour, it's time to surrogate yet another body!

A war-torn city in the Ultramar system. The Ultramarines, aided by an Imperial Guard regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursakar Creed, prepare to face an Ork incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the Imperium has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a Baneblade's main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the Warboss down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"

From Ward Himself

"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"oh wait nope, mss are now just a useful fear test. So now the only real use you'll find for him in a duel is whacking them with a stick.

Letter to Inquisitor Valeria

This is the (in)famous little piece of fluff that has made Trazyn so likable to /tg/, contrasting nicely with all the grim darkness around. Do note that it is unclear whether he's fucking nuts, indulging in some elaborate trolling or even both at once.

Dear Lady, let me express my fulsome appreciation for your most generous gift. It is so very rare to discover another of my own kind that appreciates my work, therefore to find understanding amongst a member of another race is nothing short of a revelation. I realise that you briefly trod my galleries, but the fact that you spotted in so short a time that my Acabrius War collection was lacking three regiments of Catachan warriors reveals that you truly have a collector's eye for detail. And to send five regiments! Such generosity will allow me to weed out and replace a few of the more substandard pieces in my collection. If I might level a minor criticism, the instructions issued to your gift were manifestly not as clear as you thought, as most of them had to be forcibly restrained. Sadly it seems that the lower orders will always behave like an army of invasion, whether that be their purpose or not. However, this is a minor complaint and seems almost churlish under the circumstances, so please allow me to repay your gift with one of my own. Accompanying this message is the Hyperstone Maze, one of a series of Tesseract Labyrinths constructed at the height of the Charnovokh Dynasty. It is a trinket really, only of interest to scholars such as you and I, but I trust you will find it amusing; assuming you have the wit to escape its clutches, of course.

It should be noted that an Inquisitor can actually use a Tesseract as a relic.

The Infinite List of Dickings

Daww

Trazyn is universally regarded as a huge dick pretty fun guy to be around due to his rampant kleptomania erudition and wit. Here is a list of his crimes many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the warning edification of /tg/.

• Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into miniatures for his collection.
  • Sent Inquisitor Valeria fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments. Being a true gentleman, when Valeria managed to unravel said tesseract labyrinth and use it 'safely', he took it with good grace and they became pen pals of sorts... But since no good deed stays unpunished, as of Fall of Cadia Trazyn has revealed that while Valeria became his human waifu for some time she eventually got BLAM'med for consorting with xenos, hence why he releases Greyfax the Angery instead of getting Valeria to tag along (Just as planned? How about Tau start summoning daemons for battle? And maybe Orks start building their own webwayThey already did it using superior gravitational corridors which don't need the warp during the War of the Beast.)
• Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to loot Imotekh's staff.
  • Pops in whenever he feels like it anyway.
• Stole Sebastian Thor's head. Maybe (There's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton; the only reason Trazyn stands out is because his Thor head is preserved in a jar, rather than a skull).
• Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an Exodite world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
• Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles without telling them.
• Told the greatest amongst us all he was old pals with Rowboat Girlyman. Considering that one of the pokeballs he unleashed against Chaos at the Fall of Cadia was a bunch of Ultramarines fresh from the aftermath of the Horus Heresy, he might be telling the truth ("old pals" by his definition, of course).
  • And then informed them that maybe he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.
    • And with Rowboat coming back, somehow, for 40k End Times, we might actually get to see how the two know each other. If they actually do. There's every possibility that Trollzyn was just lying.
• Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf. Technically it's a Primarch clone, but it's still a perfect copy of the pre-Heresy Fulgrim, courtesy of Fabius Bile.
• Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when Vulkan He'stan decided to just give him the Spear. Tip first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
  • Twice.

Good to see Creed is still around

• Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite Logan Grimnar's attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
  • In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead. (Just As Planned. The dick deserved it for hanging on to his staff anyway.)
• Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch kill team that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
• Caught a bunch of tech priests evacuating from the necron invasion of Magogue, and set them up in stasis as a monument to that planet's fall. Notable because he pulled it off in the Skitarii codex. Trazyn's apparently the go-to guy for being able to win outside of his own codex.
• May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of Xenology, as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
• Has been hanging out on Cadia for who knows how long as the "man of iron" which all but confirms the pylons are necrons made.
• Steals Creed himself after the fall of Cadia. Blundered into allowing Creed to infiltrate his collection. Somehow, he forgot Creed's coat, which Creed's daughter ended up claiming. Or Creed had more than one coat and that's what his daughter got.
• Steals Papa Smurfs' (The Ultramarine bloke that can't spell Robert properly) pillow from his lumber.
• Stole an Emperor's Children's gene-seed tithe ship containing thousands of progenoids.
• Traded it for the only perfect clone of Fulgrim, thus dashing the only hope of the Third Legion rebuilding itself and becoming more than a bunch of depraved sick fucks.
• Planning to add to his collection all the stuff from Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II, World Engine and Hiveships included!
  • Helped the Necron player faction: Overlord Amarkun the Gatherer to retrived the Trionic Activator from The Phalanx where Trazyn unleashed a Tyranid swarm of "quite humorous extent", completely ruined The Phalanx. (might be non-canon, but worth mentioning).
• Has an agent in Middle Earth Shadow of War called the Trophy Hunter. How he got there is beyond this anon's mental capabilities
• Frees an AdMech Magos and a pair of Sororitas in the short story War in the Museum to deal with an escaped Lictor and Hive Tyrant. The Sororitas were supposed to be biological sisters frozen in their last moments fighting Tyranids, but one sister was dead and used as spare parts to fix up her surviving sister; the other Sororitas was a stand-in taken from Goge Vandire's Brides of the Emperor (the precursor of the SoB). Trazyn goes so far as to swear on his honor he will reunite them with their Lord and not put them back in the same exhibit if they accomplish their task. True to his word, he puts them in a different exhibit...facing another called 'The Beheading of Goge Vandire'. Oddly enough, Trazyn considers the magos as something of a friend and even sends the AdMech research packets on his behalf, and decided to keep the Magos in stasis with full awareness at the Magos's request. Seems he prefers to perform his computing in peace and quiet and does not mind being part of Trazyn's collection.
• Stole Gorkamorka for his Angelis display. From The Infinite and The Divine "Trukks and buggies howled corkscrews across the display, ripping across the desert shanty town built around the enormous idol of Gork – or Mork.
• Played a practical joke on Orikan the Diviner by unleashing a brood of catachan devils on his ship.
• Played another practical joke on Orikan the Diviner by unleashing a genestealer on him.
  • Said genestealer survived the encounter and went on to infect and raise a cult on the planet which attacked a visiting naval battlegroup leading to the planet being exterminatused.
• Took over a Necron Deathmark’s body next to Orikan’s reanimation chamber to shoot him in the face. Out of spite for ruining his GorkaMorka exhibit.
• Stole a statue of himself that was mistaken as a Silver Skull chaplain that liberated a world from orks after the Inquisition got suspicious of its bizarre proportions. Orikan was horrified at humans glorifying his rival (and smashed the accompanying stained-glass window).
• Briefly stole control of the Regimental Standard in an attempt to trick Guardsmen into making themselves easier to collect.
• Tricked Abaddon (again) to sent his squad of Black Legion Terminators trying to steal an Eldar artefact capable of tunneling the Webway. The Terminator squad was sealed in a pocket sized Tesseract labyrinth, alongside a group of Dark Eldar raiders on a space hulk, forever fighting for the artefact. Much to Trazyn's pleasure, their moments were viewed and repeated for uncountable times, each with different results, except none of them ever reach the artefact, but at least close enough.
• Managed to scoop the lost regiments of Tanith before the planet got destroyed by Chaos. Yes, Ibram Gaunt has been sweating, bleeding and tearing to keep his Ghosts alive as the only survivors of their home planet, while Trazyn has multiple regiments of them in cold storage. What a jerk.
• Collected a Vespid warrior
• Collected a Zoat
• Collected The Swarmlord (no, we are not making this up)
• Collected a squat, yes he did it.
• Collected a solitaire, and to make it funnier it's put side by side with the squat.
• Collected a planet, again, we are not making this up, check the background of the image with Creed.
• Collected a Thunder Warrior, right next to Creed
• Collected a Spindle Drone from a Blackstone Fortress
• Collected a Clawed Fiend
• Collected an Eldar Phantom Titan
• Collected the XBox version of uno, without the XBox

A man of culture always enjoys a tour for his collection...

Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List (and how to get some of them, perhaps.) (He denies having them so far, but you can never be sure without going to check...)

There can only be one true magpie.

• A full ork WAAGH! trapped in stasis.
• Old One Eye's lost eye (Hire Bile to vatgrow it).
• Kartoth the Bloodhunger, both so he can say he won the game as well as rip holes to go back in time for more collecting.
• Abaddon. No, really, that's (one of) the reason(s) he came to Cadia in the first place: he wants to add the Warmaster of Chaos to his collection! (Last seen near Vigilus, should team up with the Ultramarines since the Planet Killer is coming there.)
• Saint Celestine. (Go read The Fall of Cadia, this is not a joke! Also, not that hard, he just kill her, keeps the body while she reincarnates somewhere else.)
• A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra). (Again, can be vatgrown by Bile in exchange for... something Why settle for a facsimile over the real deal?)
• 2 of Grizgutz's favorite gun.
• An Ork Time Machine, originally belonging to Grizgutz.
• Magnus the Red's favourite eye. Magnus has agreed to provide things for his collection in exchange for being left intact
• An 8th edition Sisters of Battle codex. (done.)
  • An 8th edition box set of plastic sisters. Yes, he's the reason the November 2019 set sold out so early.
• Anyone atheist in Age of Sigmar, if not then a dwarf from the Kharadron Overlords will suffice.
• The Sanguinor in a stasis field.
• A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds. Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimens broke out of their exhibit and nom-med half of Solemnace. He's currently attempting to redo it on another planet near Solemnace.
• One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
• Each Phoenix Lord, including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of Asurmen's twin-linked Shuriken Catapults or a lock of Jain Zar's hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
• A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking Orikan for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from Ferrus Manus, Horus, Sanguinius, and Konrad Curze since they're all presently busy being dead.)
• A signed autograph from each chaos god, preferably without stains or switcharoo.
• A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk.
• The Fortress of Arrogance, preferably with Commissar Yarrick as well. Commissar Yarrick is currently busy being dead, must approach Bile for a clone, Ghazghkull has offered a full WAAGH!! if it should help, well it wont help him
• Sammael's Jetbike.
• A Pauldron from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
• A Space Marine from each of the first Legions (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he can't find any marines from the two missing legions).
• The two missing legions.
• Those meddling kids - and that stupid dog!
• A painting of one of the Emprah, Tzeentch, Cegorach, and the Deceiver's card games. Creed provided him a holovid of the game that got him banned. He is content with this. And believes that Creed should be unbanned.
• A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins. the circus came to me and Liberated all of my Eldar exhibits, their thievery has set me back, it will take years to restore what i have lost, i no longer desire this circus for my collection.
• The school report and childhood items first set of kid-sized slave shackles of Asdrubael Vect.
• Urien Rakarth's first torture kit.
• An Avatar of Khaine. He's probably killed one, given how Geedubs keeps jobbing them, but the fact that their remains melt away and reform on the Craftworld - similar to how Necrons phase out - means Trazyn hasn't gotten one yet.
• A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
• A Daughter of Khaine and a Khorne berzerker with Hemophobia side by side.
• A feather from Sanguinus's wings. (Dante has one in stasis.)
• An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEEDed.
  • A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED.
• Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them so well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
• A matching pair of Angry Marine Powerfeet.
• A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Surprisingly hard to pull off (fnar fnar), even for Trazyn.
• A set of Lelith Hesperax's combat attire after she's been in a fight. This is even harder to pull off than the Sisters of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties.
• One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus. (Will have to force-grip Abaddon very hard.)
• Slaanesh's entire porn collection. While no planet is big enough to hold all that porn, that's what parallel dimensions are for!
• One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which. (Not sure if Vulkan completely destroyed it.)
• An Imperial Knight from each house.
• The Panacea STC.
  • And since Lady Malys got there first, anything cool she owns, as well as a selfie with her before and after she realizes he stole her stuff.
• The Eye of Horus. As in the actual Eye. (Again, Bile can make one.)
• The Eye of Terror and everything in it.
• Commander Puretide and/or all of his students.
• A calm and rational World Eaters marine.
• A clean and disease-free Death Guard marine.(Hello Nathaniel Garro)
• A Emperor's Children marine who shows restraint.(Hello Saul Tarvitz, maybe already got him that's why they never found the body?)
• A live and fleshy non-sorcerer Thousand Sons marine. (As of Ahriman: Unchanged, there was one of these, and as of Gathering Storm Yvraine made a dozen more before throwing them into the Warp) Provided by Magnus The Red in exchange for a deck of cards.
• A Night Lords Marine that is actually friendly to be around. Has also been provided by Magnus The Red in exchange for the same deck of cards.
• An atheist Word Bearers marine.
• A certain swell guy.
  • A picture with said swell guy.
• Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by a Hrud's entropic field do not count.
• The Doomsday Clock from The Last Church.
  • Also Uriah himself. After finding out he's a chaos worshiper he has changed his mind.
• The cure for the Red Thirst. (Hello Rubicon Primaris, maybe? More recent fluff indicates no.)
  • A photo of the Blood Angels' shocked reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus for Dante's reaction with his mask off.)
• The cure for the Curse of the Wulfen. (Hello again, Rubicon Primaris, maybe.)
  • A photo of the Space Wolves' shocked reaction when Trazyn smashes the cure in front of them. (Bonus of Logan Grimnar shaving his beard in shame.)
• The right hands of Helbrecht, Eldorath Starbane and anyone else who had their right hands cut off by Imotekh.
• At least one Jokaero.(shouldn't be that difficult as even a Catachan team managed to got one during the Pandorax Campaign.)
  • And anything they make/modify.
• As many Catgirls as possible.
  • Along with a selfie with each of them.
    • And as many Kitsune as possible, along with selfies and a shrine to their name.
      • You know what? Catboys too.
• Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
• Any 100% reliable information about Alfa Legion.
• A recording of an Idoneth Deepkin talking in a pirate accent.
• The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter. Not to mention there are quite a few things listed here that may be in there in the first place.
• A machine to control the Warp so he can create impossible things. (Either the Golden Throne or the Tuchulcha engine may do the trick.)
• A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit "gifted" by a Pretty Marines Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
• The very Ethereals who united the Tau race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies... or severed heads.
• One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
• A 1st Edition copy of the Codex Astartes with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket. (Guilliman probably has one.)
  • A 1st Edition copy of the Lectitio Divinatus with Lorgar's signature on the dust jacket to sit directly opposite the Codex. (Again Guilliman, if you are not that picky in terms of what "1st edition" means.)
• A recording of Warboss Ghazghkull famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
• A prison capable of holding Cypher, containing the man himself.
• A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka. *KRUMP* HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS STUPIDER 'UMIES!
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy. Done as he managed to get an STC of Steam with a Total Warhammer series warp-powered bunch of keys.
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings. (Trazyn has now accomplished this according to some writefaggotry posted on fanfiction.net. Much nerd rage shall ensue. You have been warned.)
• You.
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Wars. (He has also accomplished this due to MORE Writefaggotry on Fanfiction.net.)
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from Star Trek (Risky, considering the technologies in Star Trek, he just might actually end up as a collectible himself or be tracked back to his home dimension).
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Mass Effect universe (Doable, but risky if he ever crosses paths with the Reapers Reapers are small fry compared to anything the Necrons can throw around, he'll be fine).
• A TARDIS so he can learn the name of The Doctor (Riskier than Star Trek because of the technologies involved. Also, if anyone could track Trazyn back to his home dimension and thoroughly wreck his shit it'd be The Doctor).
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Marvel Universe (main timeline).
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the DC Universe (main timeline).
• An interdimensional portal device so he can collect artifacts from the Halo universe (dangerous because of Master Chief and his damn luck).
• The body of a Dwarf Slayer who died of old age.
• All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then. Already done.
• Temperus Maximus' Adamantium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed to loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
• One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
• A Death Korps of Krieg gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
• Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
• Cardinal Anton Fedelicus and his collected writings, which if introduced would have allowed for a very large degree of sexual freedom to have been integrated into the ecclesiarchical theology without increasing the risk of Slaaneshi corruption.
• A living Astral Knight.
• A "lucky" Lamenters marine (also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
• A working time travel device created by the Ordo Chronos (if it was ever made). The purpose for this device being -- you guessed it -- collect more artifacts from the past.
• His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into dimensional sponge in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
• A lock of hair from each of the infamous baldraven marines.
• A "My First Assault Cannon" box set (Even better if unopened).
• A photo of the Emperor as a boy.
• As well as all of his photographic recordings scattered throughout time, whether it is rock scribble from the stone age or painting in the Renaissance Era or those Youtube video he has made back in 20XX.
• A Squat.
• A Votann, along with a posse of throughly drunk Kindred.
• A living Boneripper (plenty of chance since Thanquol is still around in Age of Sigmar).
• The personal battle standard of Gabriel Angelos used at his ascension to chapter master.
  • The Blood Ravens also want one of Trazyn's personal banners. Negotiations are ongoing. Negotiations broken off after a number of Space Marine collectibles went missing, Magpies have earned their reputation, some collectibles will now have to be bolted to the floor.
• An Ogryn's 'Guardsman's Primer: Colouring Book Edition' and matching 'The Great Crayon Crusade' coloring set.ALL DAH KRAYON GOT EATN BOSS, DEY AIN'T NONE LEF, AND DA MACHI LADY LOSS 'ER STC FING
• The oldest dreadnought of each Space Marine chapter.
• Samus' armor.
• A body-pillow of Cathy (Original prefered)
• The Entire First and Second Seasons of "If The Emperor had a text-to-speech device" on blu-ray signed by Chapter Master Alfabusa.
• Chapter Master Alfabusa in a stasis chamber.
• Limited collectors edition of Half life 3 (After all, it's only been 38,000 years in development, maybe Valve will finish it before chaos/da WAAAAGH/the Tyranids/Imotekh's ego consumes the entire galaxy!)
• Sly Marbo's personal pistol, though not even Trazyn is willing to try and collect it.
• An actual ork sniper. WAAAAAAAAGH!!! WHERE DIS LITTLE GIT I'LL KRUMP EM LIKE A BUG!
• A Butlin-Class Titan.
• The Man of Iron.
• The Cigar Creed always chews but never smokes. Acquired as part of the new Creed exhibit.
• The legs from an Imperial Sentinel. (must have attachment for his own legs.)
• A picture of Sigmar hugging Draconithon.
• A list of names of the fallen to wave at the Dark Angels COMPLETELY UNRELATED TRAITOR MARINES THAT JUST LIKE WEARING BLACK AND RED AND WINGED SWORDS.
• A ham personally provided by the Ordo Draigo.
• A book borrowed from the black library with a selfie of him and Cegorach.
• A picture of himself before he turned to Necron. (just print his memories, he is an android, duh.)
• The best pole dancer in the Commorragh in a stasis chamber (that was Yvraine at one point, so her).
• The best pole dancer out of all Slaanesh cultists in a stasis chamber.
• A photograph of a Cyclonic torpedo the moment it impacts the ground.
• A group photo of Thunder Warriors with Arik Taranis and the Emperor.
• An acknowledgement from GW that Malal does indeed exist.
• An actual affordable GW Warhammer 40k miniature from any faction.
• An undisputably good codex from any faction.
• Carlos McConnell, or at least one of his catgirls, in a stasis chamber.
• A jar of Skub.
• The book "Standard Template Construct" for dummies.
• Sensible Blood Angels.
• Hairless Space Wolves. Being shaven doesn't count, the Marine has to be hairless naturally.
• A copy of Battletoads.
• The Statue of Liberty, shrunk to 10 feet size and taken from Nova Yourk hive of Merica.
• Blueprint of Angron's Butcher's Nails.
• A WW2 Era Luger pistol, original.
• Enough Blood for the Blood God.
• Enough Skulls for the Skull Throne. THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, LOYALIST SCUM!
• Enough Skulls for the Golden Throne.
• One of Roboute Guilliman's new Super Space Marines.
• A Pokeball that can hold a C'tan.
• A living member of the Interex.
• A Picture of Eldrad and Vect trying to out-dick one another.
• An STC that has technology that will allow him to do some Dark Eldar Drugs.
• A video of Nemesor Zahndrekh putting on glasses and realizing that he is now a Skeleton Robot and the Other Necrontyr are not what they seemed to be
• An member of an Alien race the Imperium actually gets along with. (Pretty damn impossible. Also Yvraine; two birds, one stone.)
• A being with an anal circumference large enough to fit his throbbing ego.
• An Ork who can actually think. Word has it he might need to go back in time for that...
• DLC for Dawn of War III. Got that on the same sale he got the keys for TW:WH.
• An Autograph from Nagash.
• A video of Yarrick taking over the Orks. (Only a Matter of time now It's mentioned in the 8E rulebook that the Orks and Humans on Armageddon formed an alliance to fight chaos, so this is pretty much canon for now.)
• The Golden Throne. That means Trazyn is not allowed on Holy Terra.
• Belisarius Cawl. Bonus points if he collects the Alpha Primus as well.
• Enough DAKKA.WUT DID WE SAY 'BOUT DAT?
• The name and address of the Ork that keeps Dakka blocking him.
• An official GW/The 9th Age tournament. Will require some dimensional traveling since the latter started distancing itself from being 9th Edition WHFB.
  • An official WHFB tournament that uses Warhammer Armies Project rules.
• The Dawn Blade.
• A clone of Fabius Bile, not as an exhibit but just to make conversation with. He nearly got one if Fabius Bile didn't decide to trade him his Fulgrim clone instead.
• Lorgar's diary, the single largest source of heresy in the universe. He puts this one off due to the aura of discomfort that radiates from anything Lorgar has touched.
• A portal into an alternate past reality where GW doesn't constantly use the Eldar as fluffy punching bags, and where xenos factions actually get as much attention as GeeDub's poster boys.
• A pyrophobic Salamander.
• The Emperor's text-to-speech device.
• The Emperor's left eye.
• The Emperor's right bollock.
• The Emperor's right arm.
• Old Man Henderson's gnomes.
• Old Man Henderson's player.
• Old Man Henderson's Backstory of Doom.
• All Nintendo World Championship cartridges, both regular and gold.
• One of those Noise Marine sonic guns that looks like a sweet guitar.
• A member of the Death Korps of Krieg with self-preservation instincts.
• A living Sensei.
• The only known Platypus to achieve the rank of Inquisitor along with his arch-nemesis: a bumbling non-chaotic Heretek pharmacist.
• A set of Rogue Trader era Beakie Armor.
• A picture of Gorkamorka turning into Gork and Mork.
• The rest of the Blackstone Fortresses.
• Commissar Fuklaw's cap.
• Cultist-chan in a sound-proof cell.
• A recording of Tzeentch saying JUST AS PLANNED in every known language (would've been done sooner, but Tzeentch keeps speaking in languages that he claims are created in the future or he might be making up, just to troll Trazyn).
• One of Dranon's cigars.
• Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM's missing fingers.
• A beer worth defending.
• A sextape of Cain and Amberley.
• Two copies of Shadow War: Armageddon. The second one will be a backup 'Just in case' copy.
• Some Primaris Lieutenants. There is so many right now nobody is gonna notice some of them go missing.
• Roboute's body pillow of Yvraine.
• Yvraine's vibrator that she got while on Ultramar. UltraMarine sanctioned.
• The Silent King's Sanguinus mask.
• A "Miniature" of an Emperor Class Titan in regular 40k scale.
• Kitten's Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker deck.
• Kitten himself.
• A picture of Kitten and Shadowsun kissing.
• Shadowsun's bodysuit after a fight.
• Commissar Yarrick's right arm.
• Assholetep's robes. The only thing stopping is the fact that if Trazyn accomplished this, Assholetep would immediately assume it's Trazyn and wreck his collection, so Trazyn's put this on the backburner.
• Every single person who had edited this page. Don't! I'm edi--
• Aged Japanese soy sauce.
• Some more paper and a pencil for more lists. And Lord Admiral Spire to complete his Imperial collection.
• All the Pokémon.
  • And all of the shiny versions too.
• A clear, accurate, unedited photograph of a Diglett's body.
• The official single extended version of the Tattered Sails Shanty signed by Luthor Harkon.
• The Mona Lisa (will probably have to infiltrate the Imperial Palace).
• Evidence of Cypher's true identity.
• A 1990s Holographic Charizard Pokémon Card.
• One Sergeant "Jinxie" Penlan, ideally in the process of tripping over something and preferably not somehow messing up half the collection because of it.
• An Ork that doesn't want to fight.
• A Gretchin that's stronger than an Ork.
• One of the Artifacts of Vulkan.
• Dio Brando with a ROAD ROLLER DAAAAA!!!
• The most basic soldier of the most powerful and advanced human faction during the Dark Age of Technology, just to see how much he stands up to warriors of the present.
• A squid that hasn't fucked a Japanese School Girl.
• Eric Andre.
• Watch Master Bilbus from Death Watch Vita Nova.
• A purple Ork. WUT, YOU DON'T SEEZ A PURPLE ORK YA GIT! HOWZ YOU GONNA COLLECT ONE?
• The Declaration of Independence (original edition).
• Any person who likes Erebus.
• A plasma gun, that has the ability to re-roll 1's naturally or a stable Imperial plasma weapon (either will do).
• C.S. Goto, so he may never write anything again. (thx Trazyn.)
• Wukong from Warframe charged by four TSAR bombs.
• Rogal Dorn's other hand.
• Original downloads of every 40K fan animation before the daemon Ga'Mez-wark'Sh'op banished them and their creators to the warp for absorption and cursed the survivors.
• All of the original creators of 40k fan animation before said banishment.
• 5 Revenant robots (from apex legends) (as backup bodies of course).
• A Technophobic Techpriest.
• A Vegan Tyranid.
• Roboute Guilliman's Gloriana Battleship. (Might have difficulties.)
• Lotara Sarrin and her Flagship. (DON'T MESS WITH HER.)
• Schrödinger’s cat.
• Your mum.
• The Black Library. (Along with a picture of Ahzek Ahriman's reaction without his helmet upon learning that Trazyn got there before him.)
• The entirety of Majorkill's hentai collection.
• James and his workshop.
• Chuck Norris
• The Loch Ness Monster. (Hire Bile to vatgrow it?)
• A content creator that wasn't sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends.
• Ancient Rylanor's dreadnought chassis, next to the Fulgrim Clone.
• Constantin Valdor's Apollonian Spear.
  • Constantin Valdor Himself.
• And a partridge in a pear treeee!
• Waldo (Seriously, where the fuck is he?)
• A splayd.
• Jaghatai Khan's First bike (it has streamers!)
• Rogal Dorn's personal Painglove.
• Little Ang, Angron's dog.
• A complete and accurate Map of the Rock Provided by the Watchers in the Dark. (He knows about the Lion.)
• A Holo-recording of Corvus Corax playing The Raven from the poem by Edgar Allen Poe confronting Lorgar playing the protagonist of same poem.
• A Black Templar who really loves Xenos.
• Leman Russ in a Leman Russ.
• Himself from the past, future and present.
• An Ark of Omen
• A female ork

• And some good Matt Ward fluff. Besides himself. Permanently placed at the bottom of the list because even he has his limits.

Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List

• Arsène Lupin
• Pepe
• Bob The regular non-necron guardsman.
• Bob the Builder
• The Fat Controller
• Sir Toppham Hatt
• Every notable persons from your childhood
• Borris the generic soul-less warrior
• Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
• Onionkyr the Voyager.
• Nemesor Zahnpasta.
• The Grinch who stole EVERYTHING.
• Vanguard O'Brien.
• El Bandido Dickbag de la Muerte
• Trellsin the Singular.
• BenderBending Rodríguez
• Necropimp
• Mini me Dante, used merlin as a focus point to infiltrate the timeline, and proceeded to buy Dante.
• The most fabulous Necron of them all (after he said this, Sanguinius appeared before him and told him that if he ever said the word fabulous again, he would steal everything he owns)
• Illuminor Spookyras.
• Notc'tan the Diviner.
• Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
• Dio Brando/ZA WARUDO.
• Thanquol the (In)Competent.
• Marisa Kirisame
• Shas'O Wi A'bu.
• Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
• Anon Y. Mouse.
• Captain Inkoc Nito.
• Dirty Dan
• Pinhead Larry
• Winona Ryder
• The Tin White Douche
• Dean Isle.
• Kaz Miller.
• Mideer Laydee.
• Eliphas the inheritor.
• Commissar Hugh Mann.
• Korporal Dick Goesinzya.
• Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
• High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
• Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
• Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
• Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
• Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
• Skitarius Ranger Alpha Stroheimus JJ-1337.
• Archon Kim Ke.
• Trashbin the incompetent
• Suede O'Niim.
• John Smith.
• Alan Smithee.
• Kyon.
• Ned Cron.
• Mouse M.D.
• Victor Domashev.
• Bernie Madoff.
• Carmen Sandiego.
• Lara Craft.
• Master Thief.
• Sir Welland Dowde.
• High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
• Techpriest 01110100 01110010 01100001 01111010 01111001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01100101 00001010.
• Gordon Freeman.
• Mr. Roboto.
• Nyzart the ending
• Nafqa.
• Sly Cooper.
• The God emperor of Mankind.
• Mac Tonight.
• The G-man.
• Venom Snake.
• He-Man.
• Skeltor.
• Iron Man.
• Albert Wesker.
• Gabe Newell.
• SLYYYY MARBOOO!! (When Trazyn assumed this disguise, every necron in the segmentum had a Catachan Fang spontaneously appear in its skull and teleported to self repair, and the knife that appeared in Trazyn's hands had "I'll let you off this time" written on the grip."
• Big Boss Final.
• Zharn the Bee Trainer.
• Tray the Model Man.
• Matt Ward's dignity
• BIg BobbyG.
• alpharius.
• not omegon.
• RuPaul Charles.
• The London Jets.
• Belisarius Cawl
• JOHN CENA!!!
• The Immortal Jod Emper of Space-skeletonkind.
• Spartacus.
• Danger Powers.
• The Second Coming of Matt Ward
• Fresh Prince of Ultramar.
• The King of Games.
• Mr E. Man
• The real thief of the Primarchs.
• Sister Superior Wendy.
• Chaplin Hamburglar.
• The Doctor.
• Thief Khee'Bler.
• Norm L. Pearson.
• The Lord of the Squats
• Waldo Wally.
• The God Emperor of Mankind
• Ol’ Funnybones.
• T-8 Double Zero.
• Systems model 101.
• Hugh Mann.
• The Necron emperor of Necronkind.
• The next door neighbour who is a hoarder
• YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
• Commander Griefouz.
• Our Lord and Saviour.
• Generic Robot #3775123.
• Trashy the Incontinent
• Jimmy Neuron.
• Lieutenant Crunch.
• Mor'Dakka.
• Alice Turning.
• Shiro The Black.
• Kuro The White.
• Sentient Vibrator.
• Pha'Keen Weeb.
• Fabricator General ES-7C.
• High Lord Servitus Tenticulus Corpuscori
• Fleet Admiral Squatbar.
• Jabba Da Pump.
• Canoness Phat As'h.
• Sister Jhail Bate.
• Inquisitor Bigideas.
• Huxley.
• Bagga Chips.
• Torbin Zixx.
• Sigmar Freudian.
• Dr.Ankh Scotchman.
• Machine Spirit R2-D2.
• Clifford The Big Red Murder Beast.
• Big Mac.
• Ben de la Creme.
• Chaplain Charles Chaplin.
• Larry The Cable Guy.
• NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 4GB GDDR5 PCI Express 3.0 Graphics Card.
• Bed Bath and Beyond Store Manager
• Rick Sanchez.
• Morty Smith.
• Stupid fucking robot that keeps stealing my shit, god damn I hate this guy
• TI 84
• Steve from accounting.
• Mark
• Curator of the Ancient Terran British Museum
• Bill Magicguy
• Trollzyn The Infinite
• Trazyiana "That Belongs in a museum!" Jones
• Cuban Pete
• Joe Mama

Fall of Cadia

Oddly enough, it appears that Trazyn decided to 'aid' the Imperium in their defense of Cadia (he decided that after 60 million years it would be interesting to play the hero for once). He knows the secrets of the Pylons on Cadia, and he even releases Imperium people from his collection (represented in game by letting you deep strike units, if you take Trazyn in your Imperium army). What a great guy giving up his collection to have more space for other exotic exhibits... Specifically he got the feeling that something was coming after the Bell of Saint Gersthal started chiming in his collection (in Necron stasis, which shouldn't have been able to happen), messing with the programs of his Tomb World, breaking a bunch of priceless and unique shit, ruining it with leaking coolant, as it rang thirteen times before ceasing. Trazyn, perhaps more befuddled than irate, but really quite put off, promptly headed off to the Celestial Orrery on Thanatos, having to explain having stolen their shit the last time he was there, just to see what the fuck was going on (but not before casting the bell into the webway, hoping it would be as much of a pain in the Eldar's ass as it was his). And what do you know, there was but the Crons' watching over the thing could do nothing about it cause they were just meant to watch over the thing, not play galactic peacekeepers (although they eventually let him in, the guards weren't happy that Trazyn was there, due to an incident where some priceless artifact mysteriously went missing the last time he visited). Thus Trazyn decided to take up the role as a savior for once (mostly because he was bored and wanted to try something other than grave-robbing), and find the source of the corruption, which happened to be the little boring world of Cadia.

Long story short, Trazyn went off to Cadia released some parts of his collection (most notably Inquisitor Greyfax, though that is mostly just because his old Pen Pal Valeria was apparently killed by another human), and helped the Imperial forces screw around with the Pylons. Which somewhat backfired to put it lightly, though not that it mattered much to him because he stopped caring about playing the hero role and figured that while he was around he could find something for his collection to commemorate such a historic moment. And while he was originally hoping to claim Abaddon for his collection, his second choice was no less impressive.

Creed stands alone on the ruined surface of Cadia. He sees a metal giant in a scaled cloak in front of him, hand outstretched.

"Ursarkar E. Creed - This is not your end. Eternity Awaits"....

His current activities are mostly unknown, but he's been tapping into his pet C'tan shard for information about the Great Rift. It's implied that he has something rather outre in mind as he doesn't want to close it but to enter it safely himself..

Inner Sadness of Trazyn

Despite being such a 'happy' guy Trazyn is clearly hiding many things from everyone. He laments just how stale Necron society has become, unable to make or appreciate art and music. Just like the Tomb Kings of Fantasy, Trazyn has realized that immortality and technology alone isn't enough to make life worth living.

Trazyn's collection of artifacts and history is a way for him to cope with his loss of memories, of identity and a lost sense of purpose. That's true Grimdark there. While he likely stole most of them, Trazyn expresses genuine grief and outrage when Orikan destroys several ancient - as in pre-biotransference - Necrontyr relics in Trazyn's galleries (especially a walking cane topped with a hawk-head handle that actually belonged to Trazyn).

While he admires and wants to be a colleague to Orikan, he can't help screwing him over (violence and untreated kleptomania aren't good for relationships) even when it would be disadvantageous for him and his people. Despite being a fictional alien-turned-machine, Trazyn shows just how easy and damning it can be to fall in the pitfalls of life and how it can be more depressing than death.

Humanity through Trazyn's eyes

The novel The Infinite and the Divine reveals more of Trazyn's thoughts on mankind. On one hand he points out how in a Galaxy populated by Orks, Eldar, Tyranids and so many born predators and monsters mankind has prevailed to become the dominant species in a way similar to the ancient Necrontyr. Although humans are so short-lived and fragile he also notices how, like the Necrontyr, they have managed to create a vibrant culture. Every world they inhabit has managed to produce at least something worthy of being recorded for posterity in the galleries of Solemnace.

He even attempted to convince his rival, Orikan the Diviner that the humans of Serenade and their culture had some intrinsic value. Orikan, being Orikan and a generally cantankerous fellow, wasn’t convinced.

On the other hand he is not entirely without empathy toward humans either. First off he points out how fear is a poor substitute for good leadership and rewarding loyal service, actually ensuring his enthralled human has a far better long life than what his salary and position at the Administratum would have otherwise allowed him. Apparently, Trazyn didn't see why he should make his thrall's existence worse, and despite said thrall being mind-shackled, Trazyn was reasonably sure it was a largely superfluous contingency for a generally willing, competent, and loyal servant. Secondly there is a point in the novel when the human thrall, soon to be silenced as he reached the end of his usefulness, gives thanks to Trazyn for how he helped him and his family and then asks if he was going to destroy his world. Trazyn, remembering how beautiful was the planet's ecosystem before the Imperium colonized it, asks in return if he would actually need to do such a thing when humans were already killing the planet through ruthless resource exploitation. True to Trazyn’s word, the servant’s subsequent termination, while immensely painful, was mercifully brief.

Trazyn has even stated that he would actually like to keep some humans as vassals if the necrons ever managed to bring back the Infinite Empire, as they would be an endless source of amusement and surprise for the rest of eternity.

See Also

• Compare and contrast, comrades.
• Epic duel ahead.
• An audio recording of his infamous letter. N.B Lost in the warp, and we all know who to blame for that now don't we?
• The infamous robot magpie himself finally has a voice actor!
• Trazyn National Anthem
• [Trazyn and Orikan people-watching]

Notable Necrons
Necrons:	Anrakyr the Traveller - Illuminor Szeras - Imotekh the Stormlord Kamoteph the Crooked - Nemesor Zahndrekh - Orikan the Diviner Szarekh the Silent King - Trazyn the Infinite - Vargard Obyron
Dawn of War:	Necron Lord of All Kaurava - Necron Lord of Kronus
C'Tan:	Aza'Gorod - Mag'ladroth - Mephet'ran - Nyadra'zatha - Tsara'noga