Cuisine: Difference between revisions
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''' | [[File:Saturn devouring his Succulent Meal.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Gentlemen, this is Democracy Manifest!]] | ||
{{topquote|One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.|Virginia Woolf}} | |||
{{topquote|If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.|[[J. R. R. Tolkien]]}} | |||
{{topquote|Allez, Cuisine!| Chairman Kaga}} | |||
Food is one of humanity's most basic needs. A week without food or water is more than enough to kill you. But it's so much more than mere fuel for survival. Of course there's the sensory stimulation of taste, flavor, texture, and smell. Raw ingredients are one thing, but their preparation can yield myriad permutations. But beyond that there are the emotional, social, cultural and even political aspects to what, where and how people eat. If you want to imagine what a place is like, what people eat is a big part of it. If you want to build a strange exotic world for your setting, think about what people eat. Not suprisingly, a lot of writers (and ''especially'' fantasy writers) go out of their way to describe food. Here we talk about '''Cuisine'''. | |||
For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]] | For real world foods. See [[List of /tg/ Cuisine]] | ||
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===Changelings=== | ===Changelings=== | ||
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh | Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussels, Mimic steak with a side of green onions. | ||
===Dragons=== | ===Dragons=== | ||
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===Illithids=== | ===Illithids=== | ||
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody | Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, [[Lady of Pain|Her Ladyship]] Herself. Everybody knows they eat brains, but Illithids also eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them. | ||
The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?). | The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?). | ||
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===Ogres=== | ===Ogres=== | ||
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest | Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old fable goes that an Ogre once escaped execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook. | ||
===Orcs=== | ===Orcs=== | ||
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In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon. | In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon. | ||
==Creature Meats== | ===Vampires=== | ||
Vampires obviously prefer blood, preferably straight from the vein. However this isn’t always possible, either due to only a limited number of victims or the need to conceal their condition from others. Furthermore, one can only suck on so many necks before getting bored and desiring some variety in one’s diet. Blood soup is an easy dish to make, and blood that is properly curd make for great portable snacks. Steak la tartar is an a popular dish, but many nosferatu are well known for their signature blood sausages. One vampire has become famous for his delicious blood pancakes, so much so that he has people lining up willing to give their own blood just for a taste. Just don’t ask from where, or who, the blood comes from. | |||
==Creature Meats & other Monster Products== | |||
===Aarakocra=== | ===Aarakocra=== | ||
Large pieces of white meat with delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce. | Large pieces of white meat with a delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, and spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce. | ||
===Aboleth=== | |||
Hope you like insanity, since you'll get little else from aboleth meat. Since their brains grow through their bodies down to their tails you can't easily avoid having the meat tainted by grey matter, plus the added issue of their toxic slime and large amount of blood in their bodies make them near impossible to consume. However, illithids have a particular taste for aboleth brain, which not only satisfies their taste for brains and memories but also has a creamy texture. | |||
===Ankheg=== | |||
Has a very earthy, flakey meat which can be delicious if cooked properly. Dwarves of certain southern clans swear by Ankheg gumbo and jambalaya, which they spice heavily with hot spices to make it even more flavorful. The creatures can also be fried whole and broken open or eaten whole for their delicious meat and the crunch of their shells. However, special care must be taken to remove their stomach and acid glands soon after death or else the residual acid will taint and ruin the meat. | |||
===Ankylosaurus=== | |||
While the meat of these dinosaurs is well-marbled with a gamey, delicious flavor, the downside is the toughness of the meat. Often the meat must be hung and aged in a special cellar or very tenderized before cooking. Ideally the meat is jerked or slow cooked and slathered with thick, spicy sauces that have been flavored with the rendered fat from the animal. Ankylosaur jerky is also valued for its excellent yields of meat. | |||
===Assassin Vine=== | |||
The sap of the Assassin Vine can be distilled into a syrup that tastes heavily like sour grapes and has mild alcoholic content. As such, satyr and dwarf rangers will often risk the dangers of capturing saplings of assassin vines and attempt to farm heavily-trimmed specimens for their sap. This is a dangerous endeavor if the plants are allowed to grow too big, as they could turn on the would-be farmers. | |||
===Aurochs=== | |||
The orcs are renowned for their cooking of aurochs, which they prefer to do as kabobs that have been marinated to cook the meat through and reduce the toughness. When butchering an auroch, nothing is wasted: ribs, steaks and filets are all cut, the bones are used to make broths or stock, the fat is rendered, the suet from the kidneys is used in puddings and in making tallow, and any spare meat is used to make a condensed food called pemmican that can last for years. | |||
===Axebeak=== | ===Axebeak=== | ||
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes. | Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks, and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes. | ||
===Basidirond=== | ===Basidirond=== | ||
Terrestrial sapient | Terrestrial sapient mushrooms that have no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this fungus is very spongy and meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled, and is generally avoided. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected from their damp nests to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets. | ||
===Basilisk=== | ===Basilisk=== | ||
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and | Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and a powerful magic user often keeps them penned and fattens them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips. | ||
===Behir=== | |||
These monstrosities have a taste similar to alligators or crocodiles, but with a slightly sharp and static-laced aftertaste. Originally created by the giants, only they know the best ways to cook them, but sliced and fried behir tail nuggets can be a fine delicacy for those who enjoy the taste. Best served with sauces that have lots of umami and spice, such as those from the Eastern lands. | |||
===Beholder=== | ===Beholder=== | ||
Hope you like the taste of eyes | Hope you like the taste of eyes because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder's brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble. | ||
===Boogins=== | |||
This race originates as hybrids of Orcs and Quaggoths, and as such their flavor is a mixture of the Quaggoth's sweeter venison-type flavor and the Orc's porklike flavor. Whilst a bit of a bitch to cook, it's well worth it, as the taste is similar to sweet pork, allowing for delicious, sweet, and tangy meat similar to pulled pork to be made and utilized in sandwiches. | |||
===[[Bowler]]=== | |||
Bowler meat is a rare delicacy amongst crag/heathland living tribes of humans and humanoids. On one hand, the energy expenditure to obtain it is enormous, not only are bowlers near impossible to distinguish from the surrounding rock without magical or psionic aid, but they are also extremely tough to crack open, requiring strength equivalent to giant humanoids or a plethora of specially made tools. The reward however some claim, makes it worth it. Bowler meat is sweet tasting and smelling, with a wonderful aroma when fried in any sort of seed-based oil. A haggis made from their stomachs and stuffed with a plethora of vegetables and meats are considered a meal worth entire fortunes and sometimes act as dowries for primitive tribes and societies. | |||
===Brontosaurus=== | |||
You can scarcely find any bigger or better source of grass-fed, perfectly marbled meat. The tons of steaks, ribs, filets, roasts, and other meats could feed a village for years. A skilled butcher could make 1,000 lbs of sausage from these dinosaurs, but doing so is almost a disservice to the tasty, gamey-bovine-reptilian flavor of the meat. What's more, brontosaur bone marrow can be used to make stock by the gallons! | |||
===Bugbear=== | |||
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre meat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking. | |||
===Bulette=== | |||
An odd mixture of fishy and reptilian flavors, bulette is extremely hard to catch and even harder to cook. Most of the meat is in the shoulders, ribs, and limbs of the animal, which can be cooked with strong sweet and sour flavors to make a flavorful cooked meal. Bulette sashimi is a rare delicacy in the eastern lands. | |||
===Bullywugs=== | ===Bullywugs=== | ||
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought. | The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as [[Crocodilian|Crocodilians]], aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought. | ||
===Camel=== | |||
Very few people have the ability to properly butcher and process camel other than desert nomads and professional butchers in those regions. Best served slow cooked shortly after being butchered, camel fat renders down wonderfully with the fat in the hump acting as an excellent flavor booster for the shoulder and flank meat. Be warned, a certain Camel Merchant, [[Crazy Hassan]], will not be happy if he catches you butchering his camels... | |||
===Cayma=== | |||
Tastes much like Caiman meat, albeit a bit sweeter. Due to their smaller size, often requires multiple dead Cayma to make a nice feast. | |||
===[[Carbuncle]]=== | |||
Finding pristine carbuncle meat in any market is a rare occurrence, as most carbuncle corpses are shredded beyond recognition, owing to the raw universal hatred of the creature. However, those lucky enough to be treated to a meal of intact carbuncle are surprised by the naturally soft yet marbled meat, with a generous layer of fat and a surprisingly non-gamey taste. Owing to their tendency to eat processed and cooked foods from their victims. | |||
===Catfolk=== | |||
Catfolk meat tastes a lot like a cat, which is similar to sour pork. As such, the Ancient Evil Eastern Empire would use Catfolk meat as a substitute for Sweet and Sour Pork at times. The Nobles and Royalty of the Ancient Eastern Evil Empire used to devour beastfolk slaves' meat as what they claimed was an "exotic dish", despite running mass breeding programs to make the meat plentiful for the populace, in an attempt to bribe the human majority with "rich people food" and to make them guilty by association with the inhumane practice, hoping the majority of the populace would turn a blind eye if they were also implicated in the butchery. This didn't work in the long term. However, Catfolk could be said to be the catalyst of the downfall of the Beastman Flesh Trade, as the Nobles' young men often fell in love with Catgirls, whom they would often intermarry with. | |||
===Catoblepas=== | |||
Few would be desperate enough to eat these swamp dwelling beasts, as their meat is either too watery or too gamey to be of much use. On top of that the stink of the animal can permeate the meat, making much of it useless for food. Some Orcs have made a spectacle of consuming catoblepas meat to prove their strength and attractiveness for mates, but most turn them down due to the stinking breath and potential disease such a meal can bring. | |||
===Cave Fisher=== | ===Cave Fisher=== | ||
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===Chimera=== | ===Chimera=== | ||
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" | Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour, and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" aftertaste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as a goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, and stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creature's "alchemical" aftertaste. | ||
===[[Chuul]]=== | ===[[Chuul]]=== | ||
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. | Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. The best meat is in the claws and legs and is best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, oranges, or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors. | ||
===[[Cloaker]]=== | |||
Cloakers are prized for the two valuable products they produce from their butchery, their skins, and their meat. Cloaker meat has been described as a mix between cod and shark, with a light texture and little need for deboning making it perfect for whole filets. Cloaker skin is highly sought after for its properties of magical means (being able to enhance the strength of illusion, shadow, and ninjutsu magic) and durability. Many tailors, haberdashers, cordwainers, and leather workers of all kinds celebrate good business years with a meal of baked Cloaker filets, the irony of the food's fate adding to its deliciousness. | |||
===Cockatrice=== | |||
Smaller than a basilisk and tasting of a combination of snake and chicken, these little monsters are almost not worth the trouble. However, the breast meat can be butterflied and injected with butter to make delicious cutlets that go well with rice or vegetable casseroles. Most of the animal can be eaten, but extra care must be taken to cut off the head and neck as no one wants the meat to turn to stone due to the creature's saliva causing pertification. | |||
===Crocodilians=== | |||
Taste mostly the same as an actual crocodile, maybe a bit leaner depending on if they're leading a healthy, active lifestyle. | |||
===Darkmantle=== | ===Darkmantle=== | ||
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil. | Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped-up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil. | ||
===[[Dohwar]]=== | |||
Regular non-sapient penguin meat is best described as "oily chicken", with its breast being very robust dark meat with a fish-like taste. Dohwar meat is the complete opposite, fatty to a sickening degree, with no texture or firmness to think of, and usually polluted with alcohol and drugs due to most Dohwar's hedonistic lifestyles. [[Psurlon]]'s seem to be the only race of beings able to tolerate it, making passable stews and a wide variety of cold pasta, soups, and salads with the meat. | |||
===Dekanter Goblins=== | |||
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin's half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat! | |||
===Dire Animals=== | ===Dire Animals=== | ||
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger | Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears, and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves. | ||
===Dragon=== | ===Dragon=== | ||
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures. | The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture, and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures. | ||
===Dragon Turtles=== | |||
A salty, reptilian meat that is prized by ocean hunters. While catching and killing the dragon turtle is dangerous, the rewards are excellent. The spicy, salty flavor means the meat needs less help from other spices and makes it excellent for soups and stews. Dragon turtle soup made within the shell of the beast itself is a legendary feast among the coastal folk. | |||
===Dryads=== | |||
While dryads don't have any meat, some can be very helpful when it comes to cooking. If they can be persuaded, dryads can provide fruit, berries, nuts, and other edible foodstuffs for others, though they will usually ask for the planting of trees or other appeasements before they help. One rare but highly prized product is dryad wine, which is some of the purest in terms of flavor that you can find anywhere in the planes. Some aged bottles are worth as much as a small kingdom! Alternatively, less diplomatic beings could always just slaughter the dryad and use their corpse as campfire wood to cook meats with a nicely added magical flavoring to it which helps heal grievous wounds. | |||
===Dwarves=== | ===Dwarves=== | ||
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's | Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual. | ||
===Duergar=== | |||
Even more bitter than dwarf meat, and far tougher. Lasts even longer than normal dwarven meat, but often hardens to the point where you'd break your teeth trying to eat it. Illithids do enjoy their brains, but otherwise most would never eat the meat from duergar. Spice rarely helps with the flavor, though candied duergar bites can be decent so long as you use a fine dark wine and plenty of sugar and rosemary. | |||
===Elves=== | ===Elves=== | ||
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it | Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow, and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it it's signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of freshwater fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter-making process as it has lower cholesterol. | ||
===Fire Elementals=== | ===Fire Elementals=== | ||
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===Flumph=== | ===Flumph=== | ||
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to | The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to its slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream. | ||
===[[Ghost]]=== | |||
Ectoplasm is extremely salty, to an almost comical degree. Any sort of skin-breathing creature that needs a layer of mucus or liquid on its skin is liable to take extreme burn like injuries from even a small splash of it. However veteran ghost hunters are known to use small drops of ectoplasm as a seasoning and in places where salt baking is common, a glaze of ectoplasm can serve just as well, providing a hardened crust when heated in an oven. | |||
===Ghouls=== | |||
These death-magic-saturated beings are a type of mutation which results in the afflicted being compelled to eat the bodies of the dead, including their species, regardless if the flesh is fresh or rotten carrion. As such, their meat is often tainted by disease and parasites much like a Hyena-Man Gnoll's is. | |||
===Giant=== | |||
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as they are fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky, spiced ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the pork-like Orc meat. | |||
===Gnoll (Hyena Men)=== | |||
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burning expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal. Another issue that few acknowledge is that ingesting Gnoll meat can give most sentient beings a mental connection to their foul Demon Lord Yeenoghu, which causes inevitable madness and a desire for cannibalism. | |||
===Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)=== | |||
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes taste like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull. | |||
===Goblins=== | ===Goblins=== | ||
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen | Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease-infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment, and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen into a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms. | ||
===Gnomes=== | ===Gnomes=== | ||
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins. | Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins. | ||
===Gorgon=== | |||
A truly interesting cooking experience. Killing it is highly difficult due to its armored hide, but once the armor is removed and the head and lungs are taken out to prevent petrification, the meat is surprisingly tasty. The ribs, loin, steaks, and sausage are all edible and have a taste similar to beef with a slightly mineral kick. A highly revered commodity is demi-glace made from gorgon tail. This rich brown sauce is considered the height of cuisine when paired with other rare meats, and tastes savory sweet and delicious! | |||
===Grick=== | |||
A bit of an odd duck when it comes to meat, grick tentacles can be fried up and eaten, but the main body is not as good considering it's rubbery texture. When fried or dried the body near the head can become crunchy, but most of the time the bodies of these monsters are left as the treasure in their lairs are considered far more valuable than their meat. | |||
===Griffon=== | |||
Griffons are rare enough to see, but they can be cooked up well if caught. Mainly the white meat from the wings and the front quarters are eaten, as the leonine meat in the back is often less tasty and harder to cook. The wings are best plucked, butterflied, and roasted over an open flame with rosemary and olive oil. Griffon eggs can also be a delicacy as omelets, but few are the adventurers crazy enough to try and take them from the nest. | |||
===Gurrash=== | |||
This particular type of Gator-men is rather spicy, with a flavor similar to a mix between gator meat and spiced pork. | |||
===Halfling=== | ===Halfling=== | ||
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to | Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste, not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simply eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor. | ||
===Hellhound=== | ===Hellhound=== | ||
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer. | VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer. | ||
===Hobgoblin=== | |||
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tends to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles. | |||
===Humans=== | ===Humans=== | ||
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with | Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with humans in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded. | ||
===Hydra=== | ===Hydra=== | ||
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting | Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting its regenerating, delicious, and easy to prepare meat. | ||
===Illithid=== | |||
Illithid is very unusual to harvest as one must take care to identified what creature was used as a host during it's ceremorphosis. This is because an illithid's meat will always taste like a muted version of it's host. Most people thus find illithid meat to be rather boring and only use it as a filler or to make the infamous "Faux Calamari". The only races with a particular interest in illithid meat are [[Duergar]] and [[Githyanki]] who often hunt illithids and enjoy turning the tables on their former oppressors. | |||
===Kenku=== | |||
Kenku doesn't taste that much different than Ravens, which in turn tastes like wild duck. As such, a slain Kenku can easily be cooked up and served like any other bird, although they were only served openly as such in the same ancient Eastern Evil Empires that served Dog-Kobolds and Catfolk meat in open-air sapient-butcher slave-flesh markets. They were served cooked and hot with a serving of duck sauce. Removing the feathers was often done whilst the Kenku was still alive, which was seen as both an embarrassment and torture. | |||
===Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)=== | |||
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like a spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken. | |||
===Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)=== | |||
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave environments, are said to taste like the dogs they resemble, which is similar to beef. In times past, where some Oriental Cultures were ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds were kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions. | |||
===Kraken=== | ===Kraken=== | ||
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, | Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, Kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great Kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed. | ||
===Kuo-Toa=== | |||
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swine out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa has the ability to bring their imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked Kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level aberration taking form from their shared living nightmares. | |||
===Lindworm=== | |||
Lindworm meat is rather bland, like an unseasoned, boiled chicken. However, it can be prepared into a delicious meal utilizing the correct blend of herbs and spices. Northern barbarian warrior tribes often enjoy the feast after slaying one of these beasts as they see them as an open canvas for experimenting with the many spices and herbs they have looted in their travels, raids, and adventures. | |||
===Lizardfolk=== | |||
Being that lizardfolk are carnivorous, territorial, and xenophobic, they are rarely hunted and generally left to their own devices and swampy homelands. That said, lizardfolk tail is nearly identical in taste and texture to alligator or crocodile. Swamp dwellers swear by lizardfolk tail, coated in egg and cornmeal and fried, but the meat can be equally good poached or roasted. | |||
===Locathah=== | |||
Taste much like Catfish, and as such, locathah living near coastal bayous and swamps need to watch out for unscrupulous immoral fish merchants willing to murder and butcher a locathah for their meat and pass it off as mounds of smoky, fire-cooked catfish. | |||
===Loxodon=== | |||
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, pretty unpleasant, with a bit of the watery porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They still often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for their meat, as despite not tasting that good, corrupt colonial nobles with more money than sense often serve Loxodon meat at parties while telling tall tales of their safari for the meat, often telling lurid tales of slaughtering whole Loxodon villages when in reality they paid off a poacher/grave robber to either sneak into the nearest Loxodon Graveyard and find a way to steal a recent corpse or murder a lone traveling Loxodon. | |||
===Leucrotta=== | |||
Dark and tough meat, tasting like that of larger antelopes and various wild canines. Meat should be consumed with caution even with cooking due to their corpse scavenging nature, Leucrotta raised in private reserves however is said to be some of the cleanest living game, with wonderful taste when smoked over most woods. | |||
===Manticore=== | ===Manticore=== | ||
Greasy, gamey, | Greasy, gamey, very sweet yet bitter meat- except the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptionally sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries. | ||
===Merfolk=== | |||
A mixture of porklike human flavoring and fish. As such, sometimes particularly immoral fishermen with trawlers will "accidentally" catch merfolk in with their regular haul. This does nothing to help already embittered sea/land tensions over pollution from land civilizations. | |||
===Mimic=== | |||
Only cooked by changelings, these monsters have flavorful, gamey red meat that goes excellently with pasta or seafood. They go great with garlic butter and other spices, though steaming them to open them is nearly as popular. Often the tongue of the mimic is cut and cooked separately. The tongue, gums, and cheeks are often spiced with pepper rubs and other strong, spicy flavors to make them even more delicious. | |||
===Minotaur=== | |||
Not cooked often, this combines flavors of human and bovine flesh but is rarely cooked as these monsters are very unsanitary and teeming with parasites. Minotaur women are well known for their milk and cheese, but often most people won't say where either are from. The cheese often has a sour, strong flavor to it but is generally regarded as quite tasty. | |||
===Myconids=== | |||
Hard to find as they live in the Underdark, these fungi can be used for myriad culinary purposes. The spongy cap to the sprouts is often likened to a morell mushroom with a bit of a muddy aftertaste, and the adults taste more like shitake or truffle depending on their age. A delicacy in certain human tribes is a myconid cooked between pita loaves with spices and cheese. | |||
===Norker=== | |||
These stony-skinned goblinoids need to be skinned first, and even then they just have all the negative qualities of goblin meat, with a tougher, less palatable texture. Don't bother. | |||
===Ogre=== | |||
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks. | |||
===Orc=== | ===Orc=== | ||
Few people eat | Few people eat orcs as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw. | ||
===Owlbear=== | ===Owlbear=== | ||
Very gamey, strong smelling, red | Very gamey, strong-smelling, red meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, and sausages, but it excels in stews and soups with a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery, and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn. | ||
===Peryton=== | |||
Meat tastes like an oily combination of human, avian, and venison meats, this meat is often ignored since perytons are often disgusting and unhygienic. The leg meat is dark and can be cooked up well with rice and spices, but the oil can make cooking hard without burning or undercooking the meat. | |||
===Phoenix=== | ===Phoenix=== | ||
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment | Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs, and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment its very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts. | ||
===Quaggoth=== | |||
These bearlike humanoids taste mostly like the meat of a bear, with perhaps a bit of the watery pork undertones humans have, albeit not enough to affect the flavor in too negative of a way. As such, Quaggoth stew is pretty much easily sold off by immoral frontier innkeepers to traveling adventurers, as a way of making extra coin from and covering up massacres of Quaggoth tribes for their land & natural resources. | |||
===Quipper=== | |||
While catching them can be difficult without losing fingers, these fish are excellent roasted over a fire or as spiced and flavored fillets. Furthermore, they can make decent sashimi with plantains or cooked wrapped in banana leaves. | |||
===Remorhaze=== | ===Remorhaze=== | ||
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor. | These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze-dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor. | ||
===Roc=== | ===Roc=== | ||
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes | Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations. | ||
===Ropers=== | ===Ropers=== | ||
Even though they are 'evil' Ropers are | Even though they are 'evil,' Ropers are quite delicious, shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic, butter, mushrooms, and onions. Their Piercer larva are also sometimes skewered with a stick and roasted over a fire by Troglodytes. | ||
===[[Rust Monster]]=== | |||
The meat is similar to other giant land arthropod meats, with a texture and form not unlike ocean-dwelling crustaceans, notably earthy in flavor and relatively soft in texture. However, Rust monster meat is notorious for its heavy metallic aftertaste and sometimes toxic levels of lead and other metals. It is said that the [[Drow]] raise rust monsters with a diet of noble inert metals such as platinum and gold, leading to a slice of colorful meat with little or no metallic tones. The frontal feelers are said to be chewy yet soft and are delicious when deep-fried in butter and sliced like calamari. | |||
===Sahuagin=== | |||
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray. | |||
===Sea Serpent=== | ===Sea Serpent=== | ||
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as | Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon. | ||
===Shardminds=== | ===Shardminds=== | ||
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added | Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added to the teaspoons into water. | ||
=== | ===Shazak=== | ||
This subspecies of lizardfolk tastes softer, tastier, and richer. | |||
===[[Slinker]]=== | |||
"Boil em, mash em, bake em, make em into stew" The same mode of thinking that applies to potatoes also applies to this common vermin, slit open and cleaned of guts, slinkers are wonderful whole roasted or baked with various garnishes. Their bones are basically gruel and allow for the whole creature to be purred into a mash that can be further fried into Slinkerbrowns or Slinkerpatties and sausages. Slinker meat also keeps very well when canned, allowing any civilization with such ability to mass produce large amounts of unperishable quantities of canned slinker meat, saving the lives of many starfarers. | |||
===Slimes=== | |||
Gelatinous Cubes are inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid. Other slime varieties vary wildly in the safety of consumption, how to prepare to ensure safety, and side effects. | |||
===Thouls=== | |||
These creatures of mixed Ghoul, Troll, and Hobgoblin descent are an absolute mess to work with. They're filled with disease, their flesh regenerates unless cooked to damn near char, and the meat has the same addictive qualities as a Goblin's. As such, a torture method by certain Eastern Empires is force-feeding Thoul Jerky to traitors and other hated individuals, ensuring they become addicted and cursing them to a painful death looking for food they hate, have to damn near turn to ash to consume safely, and is dangerous to hunt. What's worse, the eater may contract Ghoulism, and death is often not enough for relief for sapient beings who consume Thoul, as if one dies afterward from Thoul meat regenerating in their gut, they may become a Gaki or "Hungry Ghost", a ghoul-like undead obsessed with eating one type of disgusting food which they find no enjoyment in eating, in this case, Thoul meat. | |||
===Triceratops=== | ===Triceratops=== | ||
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and | Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass-fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and slathered with sauce, and even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meatloaf with a tomato sauce gravy. | ||
===Troggle=== | |||
Hybrids of Ogres and Trolls, the meat of these bestial idiots have the fatty flavorfulness of an ogre-meat steak with only slightly sour undertones from their Troll parentage, with the bonus of the meat being regenerating, with the downside of requiring being cooked until every cell is dead to prevent regenerating Troggle flesh bursting from the consumer's gut. Some enterprising yet depraved ogre chefs took care to "breed" some for meat production, capturing and forcing themselves upon trolls, and keeping them captive to ensure the birth of Troggles. These poor souls were kept chained up and fed so their ogre parents could harvest meat from them, usually resulting in the Troggle child growing up mentally scarred and naturally mistrustful. Most Ogre tribes, although of limited morality, view this as a sick and twisted act, and will viciously beat the offending Ogre to death upon discovery of such depraved meat dungeons. The troll parent and the troggle are then released to the wild, to a cruel world where neither is truly accepted again amongst trolls or ogres. Still, the meat's pretty good though, and plentiful, and as such some Evil-Aligned Military Dictatorships had in the past taken to kidnapping whole tribes of Ogres and Trolls to forcibly breed Troggles, who they keep in horrific butchery camps to produce meat which was burnt to a crisp to prevent regeneration, to produce mass amounts of protein rations for soldiers, a fate worth than death for the Troggles, who could languish in these mind breaking conditions indefinitely. As such, Trolls and Ogres rarely mate nowadays, for memories of the horrors of Meat-Camps are still passed down by the small tribes of these brutish giant humanoids, ensuring Troggles are a lonely breed with very few Troggle-only settlements, usually in the vicinity of the liberated Meat-Camps after the past Evil Empires were lost to war and the ravages of time. | |||
===Troll=== | ===Troll=== | ||
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side- | Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side effect. | ||
===Tyrannosaurus=== | |||
Who has never wanted to taste what a giant prehistoric lizard is like as steaks? While hunting these creatures can be one of the most dangerous endeavors anyone can undertake, the rewards are plentiful: mountains of reptilian meat that can be cooked up easily and lots of fat to add flavor. The arms are seen as a delicacy by some who like the crispy, rib-like flavor the meat gets when slow cooked and then broiled. One the other hand, actual Tyrannosaurus ribs are far better, and when slathered in sauce and roasted they can keep a village feasting for days! | |||
===Unicorn=== | ===Unicorn=== | ||
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. | Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Rarely hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meatballs, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted unicorns and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays. | ||
===Velociraptor=== | |||
Most think these little dinosaurs have little enough meat on them to be worth the hunt, but they miss out on one of the best possible meals! The reptiles can be easily plucked and skinned and have a slightly more gamey texture than turkey, and roast up beautifully when stuffed with herbs, lemon, and butter. In some jungle communities, a feast of several of these birdlike dinosaurs is a yearly and much revered tradition. | |||
===Wallara=== | |||
These magical lizardfolk taste somewhat like a slightly fruitier form of normal lizardfolk meat. Excess consumption of their meat can lead to "spirit visions" and potential for temporary acts of prophecy. As such, sham fortunetellers and fallen priests will try to acquire Wallara meat in unsavory ways to be able to get actual powers of foresight temporarily, often hiring bandits, assassins, and raiders to kill whole Wallara tribes for their meat. | |||
===Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing=== | |||
Whilst the corpse of a small animal it uses as a lure on top of the stump body tends to be somewhat fresh, the fact it's full of filaments for controlling its movement tends to make the meat full of splinters. The wood of the main plant-creature, however, can be used as fuel for cooking other meats and is known for adding a good smoky flavor to meat cooked over it. | |||
===Worm=== | ===Worm=== | ||
Worm Meat is often likened | Worm Meat is often likened to the "spam of the dwarves" given how inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of its texture. | ||
===Wyvern=== | |||
Wyvern meat tastes like sour, spicy chicken, although the meat is risky to eat, as if the poisonous breath organ of the wyvern is burst during slaying it, it could potentially internally spread into the creature's bloodstream and render the meat riddled with the poison which, whilst the wyvern itself is immune to, could poison any race consuming the meat without poison resistance or immunity. As such, having a spell or potion of cure poison on hand whilst consuming wyvern meat is advised. | |||
===Yeti=== | ===Yeti=== | ||
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to | Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off-putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to their similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments. | ||
==Eberron Cuisine== | ==Eberron Cuisine== | ||
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Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die. | Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die. | ||
==Sci-Fi Cuisine== | |||
So far, this has all been about fantasy cuisine. All well and good, but let's not limit ourselves here. Sci-Fi writers like to speculate on what people might eat in the future. | |||
=== A Flavor Blast from Futures' Past === | |||
Steampunk food is typically Victorian food. Probably because it was made by people looking back. | |||
You want to do a [[Dieselpunk]] on an [[Atompunk]] setting, well they had ideas about food. A general idea was very industrial and synthetic with terms like "Pre-Digested" being thrown around as unironic positives. If you want a microcosm of this of this mindset and how it played out, it's Wonderbread. | |||
It used to be that poor people ate whole wheat bread and rich people ate white bread. White flour is sieved, which removes the bran and germ of the grain as well as (back in the old days when storage was not so good) things like dirt, bug bits and rat shit. Sieving flour was originally done by hand, but could be mechanized making what was a luxury food a staple for the masses. This happened with the development of automatic baking machines in which loaves of bread could be made in the millions easily without humans ever touching the product before it's sold. Only problem was that the brain and germ contain a lot of important nutrients and white bread is pretty much junkfood. So in WWII the US began enriching flour with various vitamins, calcium and other additives so GI Joe would be in good shape to kick Hitler's butt. After the war, you got Wonder-Bread which was seen as modern and futuristic in the 1950s. Since then, there's been a shift back to whole wheat flour and artisan bread as the prestige food. | |||
==== Dehydration ==== | |||
A lot of food is by volume water. This can be removed by freeze drying, which reduces weight and volume and makes it shelf stable for a long period until it's rehydrated. For some things a fair bit of quality can be preserved this way. This got the US army's interest for some time and captured the imagination of sci-fi writers and cartoonists for some time. | |||
==== Food Pills ==== | |||
The holy grail of 50s food futurism: A full meal in something the size of a throat lozenge. From the Jetsons to Space Adventures, food pills were a staple of the pulp era of Science Fiction. | |||
Needless to say, there were some snags. In particular density. A human needs about 2,000 to 2,500 kilocalories a day and 100 grams of butter has 717 kcals, leaving aside all the other nutrients. You're not getting a three course meal as a 1cm long pill. But even if you forgo the meal in the palm of your hand ideal and instead settle for eating bowls of them, most people would not find a diet of jellybeans to be super appetizing. | |||
=== Self Heating Meals === | |||
In [[Isaac Asimov]]'s Foundation (1953), the Foundationers have food packages that have one-use heating units. Select one you like from the pantry, turn it on and soon it will open up and unfurl into a disposable bowl with eating utensils and a nice hot meal. This prediction fared better than most. | |||
In the 1980s the US military introduced Flameless Ration Heaters for their MREs. Several other militaries have introduced similar systems. Civilian versions have also come up, in particular for hikers and campers. | |||
=== Space Food === | |||
On April 12, 1961 the USSR launched Vostok-1, the first manned spacecraft. Over the span of 108 minutes it completed a single orbit of the Earth. A big part of the mission was to find out how people handled Zero Gravity and part of that was that in flight Yuri Gagarin ate a few toothpaste tubes of beef and liver paste without problems. | |||
Despite some worries it turns out the Human Body is pretty adaptable and can adjust to weightlessness fairly well. Our traditional eating arrangements not so much. Pour yourself a bowl of cornflakes on the ISS and you have a 3D mess which could jam up instruments. Space food should not be something that easily break apart into crumbs. Open cups just won't do. | |||
So far, humans have not travelled far from earth. A journey from the earth to the moon took 3 days and the ISS is only a few hours away from resupply on a return journey. A journey to Mars in the near future will likely take months either way even at an optimal orbital window. Combine that with a need to keep the mass down and keeping the air breathable over the long voyage and it becomes clear that instead of just packing up a load of rations you'd want to grow at least some food along the way. A lot of experiments have been made for hydroponic farming in space. | |||
=== Microbial Meals === | |||
Growing algae, yeast and other such microbes on an industrial scale to provide foodstuffs. Asimov was keen on this for feeding his future megacities. | |||
To an extent this has happened. As an example Spirulina is grown both as animal feed and a dietary supplement for human consumption. Of course it also needs a lot of mechanical processing to become edible. | |||
Single Celled Organism Paste, or Scop, is a common food in the [[Cyberpunk]] setting by R. Talsorian Games. | |||
=== Chemical Cookery === | |||
When you get down to it, food is just chemicals like everything else. It is in principle possible to feed carbon, water and various other chemicals into a machine and have it assemble them into nutrients. | |||
The complications are not with simple things such as sugars, which have molecules with a couple dozen atoms. It's with the more complex chemicals like proteins, which are hideously complex and require molecular machinery to build. | |||
=== Cultured Meat === | |||
{{topquote|We shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts separately under a suitable medium.|[[The World Wars|Winston Churchill]] being oddly prophetic}} | |||
The basic idea is simple: take a few Stem Cells from a (for example) a cow, put them in a growth chamber, pump in nutrients and chemicals made in a bioreactor, pump out waste and have them grow into muscle tissue and then harvest it and grill it. Badda bing badda bomb, you have a Lab-Grown steak. Not a facimile made from processed plant matter, but real bovine flesh. Potentially this could revolutionize the meat industry as it would need less inputs, produce less cow-farts and vegetarians who avoid meat for ethical reasons can enjoy the real deal guilt free and there is a lot of people looking into doing this on an industrial scale. | |||
In general, there has been considerable progress on this front over the last decade and a lot of effort into developing it. It is possible to grow meat cultures and they pass the taste test. The initial runs were very expensive, though costs are steadily going down. | |||
=== Post Scarcity Spreads === | |||
We live in a time of abundance that our medieval ancestors could only dream of. In a first-world country even the poor can have meat every day, luxuries like pepper are given away for free in restaurants, fresh fruit and green vegetables are available year round and we have various aides to make food prep easier from computer controlled ovens to mix-masters so that preparing elaborate meals is quick and easy. | |||
In a world with vast supplies of clean energy, huge robot workforces, 3D printers and other forms of automated fabrication it is conceivable that we could eliminate hunger and see to it that everyone eats well. In Utopian societies like the [[Star Trek|United Federation of Planets]] or [[The Culture]] this is the case. | |||
=== Dystopian Dining === | |||
Of course, [[Grimdark|many worlds in science fiction are not sunny and welcoming]] and this is often reflected in the menu. On worlds ravaged by pollution, nuclear war and overpopulation the gulf between rich and poor becomes increasingly pronounced. For the majority of people, there's hydroponic rice noodles, tofu and questionable meat cultures if your lucky and yeast-paste and synthetic carb pellets if your not, supplemented with the odd barbecued rat. While [[Megacorporation|megacorporate elites]] can chow down on what we'd consider real food. | |||
If things are really bad, well "[[Cannibalism|Soylens Viridians homini est]]". | |||
==Warhammer 40,000 Cuisine== | |||
Food is rarely discussed in universe, but plays a far more vital role than people realize. From the Imperium to the Eldar and the Tyranids, everyone needs to eat so they can continue to fight in the grimdark future! | |||
=== Foodstuffs of the Imperium === | |||
The range of Imperial foodstuffs is downright mind-boggling considering how vast the Imperium is. Each world will have local foodstuffs, but certain foods and drinks span the entire galaxy. Most of the food is produced on Imperial Agri-worlds, which must be specifically located near their star and meet stringent tolerances set by the Mechanicum. These worlds food production, like almost all of the rest of the Imperium, are known for choosing quantity over quality. The worlds have to be covered in new nitrogen and phosphorous dumps from fliers to renew the soil, the weather is highly controlled, and after generations the world finally can produce no more food and is left as a toxic Death world. Most of the food produced is the standards we all know: wheat, corn, vegetables, fruits, etc. However, once harvested it is blasted with vitamins and preservatives to make sure it keeps till it makes it to the worlds who need it and processed so that it can be used almost anywhere, rendering the taste quite artificial. Another Imperial staple is corpse-starch or Soylent Viridians, which is made from green algae growing on decomposing materials (human corpses, dead animals, rotting plants, etc.) and is a nearly flavorless paste. Other sources of food include ambull (a giant burrowing insect), [[Grox]] meat (lobotomized giant reptiles that are used to make burgers), and amino-porridge (eaten by Space Marines, shows how important it is to eat your Wheaties every day). | |||
=== Foods of the Foul Xenos === | |||
Xenos delicacies are far less well recognized than the Imperium's fare. Eldar food is apparently fairly close to what humans eat, though tastes very exotic and can be quite spicy. Dark Eldar have some of the most extreme diets, eating anything from still beating hearts to a coven of Haemonculi drinking the slurry that was one of their former colleagues with crazy straws. The Tyranids eat literally anything that is alive, though certain subspecies can be oddly picky (Malanthropes pick through to eat the choice pieces for new DNA, while Pyrovores will eat anything, including rocks). Tau food isn't discussed much, but must include a good bit of carbs to help fuel their troops. Necrons don't need to eat at all, so the Flayed Ones' attempts to drink blood and Zandrekh's food for prisoners are the oddities rather than the norms. Orks mainly eat squigs and other varieties of Orkoid Fungal lifeforms, and sometimes will eat things only imaginable to them, and occasionally they'll eat things only imaginable to an Ork with a particularly strong stomach. Orks & Grots also produce fungus beer which is somewhat explosive and can be used as fuel. | |||
==Miscellaneous== | ==Miscellaneous== |
Latest revision as of 11:32, 20 June 2023
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."
- – Virginia Woolf
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
"Allez, Cuisine!"
- – Chairman Kaga
Food is one of humanity's most basic needs. A week without food or water is more than enough to kill you. But it's so much more than mere fuel for survival. Of course there's the sensory stimulation of taste, flavor, texture, and smell. Raw ingredients are one thing, but their preparation can yield myriad permutations. But beyond that there are the emotional, social, cultural and even political aspects to what, where and how people eat. If you want to imagine what a place is like, what people eat is a big part of it. If you want to build a strange exotic world for your setting, think about what people eat. Not suprisingly, a lot of writers (and especially fantasy writers) go out of their way to describe food. Here we talk about Cuisine.
For real world foods. See List of /tg/ Cuisine
Racial Cuisine[edit]
Beholders[edit]
While each beholder may be unique and have a specific palette, they all have refined tastes. Jellied eels and meat pies are some foods for which they are famous, and their pie dough and crust is considered unmatched throughout the planes for its fluffy, buttery quality. They are also known for their skill in roasting and curing meats, using a combination of their eye rays to get perfectly seared steaks and excellent smoked meats. Smoked and pickled oysters made by beholders fetch as much as aged caviar in the right market.
Changelings[edit]
Changelings love pasta and oranges, but they're mostly known for their pasta dishes. In their native archipelago nations Changelings offer and serve up dozens of pasta dishes from something simple as garlic buttered spaghetti with shrimp, to fine lasagnas and beef stuffed ravioli topped with cheese and bacon. They are also known for religiously guarding the means of "cracking" open a mimic, harvesting its tough, stretchy, chewy red meat, and turning it into some of the finest dishes around. Baked Mimic with onions, Mimic on the half shell with oranges and fresh mussels, Mimic steak with a side of green onions.
Dragons[edit]
Established draconic cuisine is rare, with fire-breathing varieties considered the most experienced with actually cooking their food before they eat it. Use of spices, garnishes, and anything involving grain tends to be rare, as different species of dragons range from obligate carnivores to merely finding meat more palatable. More infamous among some dragon "restaurants" is a practice similar to reptilian races on a larger scale, where animals suitable for a dragon's appetite are raised and eaten whole, alive or dead according to the customer's preference. Rumors of elves or other, more palatable races being served in the same way abound, which isn't always a false accusation.
Drow[edit]
Drow are just as cutthroat with cooking as they are in all other aspects of their society. Any meal may well be poisoned, but steamed insects or crustaceans are their signature dishes. Steamed crab with butter, shrimp served with chilled tomato sauce, and fried cave fishers are delicacies of the drow, though they will never cook spiders of any form. A little-known favorite of the drow is their love of fruit. A fruit salad or a fruit plate with yogurt dip is seen as the epitome of decadence.
Dwarves[edit]
Dwarves can eat soil. They don't prefer soil, but they can eat it. As a rule of thumb you can usually judge a dwarf's economic background by how much dirt they eat and how used to the taste of it they are. A common saying amongst Dwarves hitting rough economic times goes, "And here I was; just getting nostalgic for the taste of dirt." Little is it known the intense love Dwarves have for cheeses of all kind. No matter if you're on the surface or in a subterranean world of perpetual darkness: Dwarves love cheese. Dwarves make cheese from more animals than any other race: Aardvarks, Dire wombats, Dire Rats, Dire Moles, Yaks, Sheep, Goats, Purring Maggots, etc. etc.
Elves[edit]
The stereotype that elves eat nothing but salad, fruit, and bread is false (though elves are never-the-less particularly skilled in baking). However, polite elven society holds a serious taboo against eating any meat that you or a member of your household did not hunt, kill, and prepare; hence elves in foreign lands tend to appear to be strict vegetarians (adventurers tend to be an exception to this rule, as they are to so many others). Popular elven meat dishes include wild boar ribs rubbed with dried herbs, and small game fowl basted with butter.
Giants[edit]
A little known fact is how exactly wide and all inclusive a Giant's knowledge of cooking actually is. A well traveled and long lived species, Giants will live and learn to cook thousands of different animals to delicious quality: spit roasted elks, dinosaur baked underneath hot rocks with banana leaves, sea serpent kabobs with fresh grilled seaweed.
Gnomes[edit]
Gnomes are both inventive and have an affinity for magic, traits that are apparent when dining on gnome cuisine. It is not uncommon for a traditional gnomish dish to include dinner and a show (especially if dinner is the show). Food that serves itself, plays sweet music or dances about is all part of the traditional meal. Gnomes highly value spells and spices, applying both with great enthusiasm. As such, gnome food can be overbearing to the uninitiated.
Halflings[edit]
Best known for the sheer amount of food they can consume, halflings nevertheless make excellent meals. Soft-boiled and breaded eggs, biscuits with preserves, onion soup topped with cheese, and roasted lamb ribs on the bone are staples of halfling cooking. These folk don't prefer overbearing spices and aggressive flavors. Most food they make is served hot and in great quantities, and almost all their dishes are so filling that other races would feel ready to burst after a single meal (let alone the seven that most halflings have a day!).
Humans[edit]
Due to the well traveled nature of Humans, no matter where a human goes any establishment is guaranteed to have a "human friendly menu"; bread, cobs of corn, cheese, simple potato dishes and nourishing glasses of milk are almost always available in such menus. Certain subspecies of humans develop their own specialized diets.
Illithids[edit]
Despite their infamous diets, Illithids are renowned throughout the outer planes as culinary masters. Possessing long, picture-perfect memories, Illithid chefs hold the recipes of a thousand worlds within their enormous brains. Most well known among these culinary masters is Chef Xan'zarathuul. Those lucky enough to be able to find his restaurant in City of Planescape should consider themselves very fortunate indeed, for the place is also well known for playing host to numerous faces from the Multiverse, such as Elminster, Mephistopheles, and, if rumor proves correct, Her Ladyship Herself. Everybody knows they eat brains, but Illithids also eat numerous species of underdark cave molluscs, small mussel and clam like creatures that cling to the rocks, ceilings, and stalactites of the underdark while filter feeding the nutrients rich water dripping down and over them. The dark realms and the spaces between the multiverses are just rife with some of the best shellfish and "sea"food in the worlds. Why else would all those eldritch gods look like octopuses? Clams. Chaotic Clams. Abominable abalones... Scary.. scallops(?).
Kenku[edit]
Kenku's perfect mimicry can often extend to recipes and cooking, though they tend to prefer grains and breads, including poppy seed breads, bagels with cream cheese spreads, pumpernickel loaves, and toasted bread with meat filling. Kenku are also know for 'liberating' spices and ingredients from others to further boost the flavor of their foodstuffs.
Merfolk[edit]
Masters of sushi and sashimi. For those with the taste for it, the merfolk make some of the best fish rolls anywhere and always know the best cuts of fish, squid, and other sea life for food. They also raise rice and other water-growing grains in estuaries and river mouths. Some merfolk prefer warm spice in their meals as a contrast to cold and raw food and so make soups, gumbos, and stews with earthy, warming spices.
Minotaurs[edit]
Minotaurs are often celebrated as making the 'best' curries in the world. It is also however universally agreed that it is a shame they cannot and will not cook with beef.
Ogres[edit]
Little is it known that Ogres make some of the finest cooks in all the land, not because of their attention to detail, but of their love of food and their curiosity. Orcs, Wild Humans, and Animal folk alike climb over one another for Ogre made pierogies, sausages, pies, and especially their numerous secret recipes for stolen livestock. An old fable goes that an Ogre once escaped execution by serving a king such a succulent and deliciously garnished Haunch of Mutton with onions, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that the king not only spared him but let the Ogre eat his Chef and replace him as head royal cook.
Orcs[edit]
Orcs not only take pride in breeding prize winning pigs, but also their prowess in cooking and serving them. Orcish pork and beans is a staple, but Orcish pork chops, bacon, and pork and rice meatballs in tomato sauce are all known world wide for their quality and flavor. There are few people -even warring humans- who would turn down a line of smoked sausages from an Orcish butchery. An Orc who comes home empty handed either from a Raid or Hunting trip is often look down upon either as unlucky or incompetent, but they are always called a "Dog eater": an Orc so poor they can only afford roasted dog at their raiding dinner party. While the orcish lust for red meat is barely exaggerated by stereotype, the average orc's diet is surprisingly varied. Local grains and eggs form breakfast, while the roast meat at dinner is accompanied by vegetables roasted in the drippings and hearty black bread. Seasoning tends to be limited to what a warrior has plundered himself, or what his chief has seen fit to gift to him for any noteworthy feats or services to the tribe (salt in particular tends to be given as a gift to those warriors who have distinguished themselves). A gift of a pepper rub is considered to be an act of bestowing highest honors. It is customary to give such when adopting a son or blood brother into one's family.
Reptilians & Amphibians[edit]
In Lizard, frog, and Snake people communities a like there exists a business that is both horrifying and disgusting: A store where live animals such as Chickens, Fish, Large Insects Small Pigs, Guinea Pigs, and Large Rats are kept alive. Customers may then purchase these creatures to swallow whole, alive or dead, which is up to preference. These establishments have the same atmosphere as a Cafe. It is hard for many traveling cold-blooded folk to overcome the need for live food, especially in urban areas where such behavior can land one in the local constabulary for a night. Thus when having to eat prepared food, most prefer the rarest cooked meat the chef would allow, or anyplace that serves raw food such as eggs, caviar, or sliced raw fish such as tuna and salmon.
Vampires[edit]
Vampires obviously prefer blood, preferably straight from the vein. However this isn’t always possible, either due to only a limited number of victims or the need to conceal their condition from others. Furthermore, one can only suck on so many necks before getting bored and desiring some variety in one’s diet. Blood soup is an easy dish to make, and blood that is properly curd make for great portable snacks. Steak la tartar is an a popular dish, but many nosferatu are well known for their signature blood sausages. One vampire has become famous for his delicious blood pancakes, so much so that he has people lining up willing to give their own blood just for a taste. Just don’t ask from where, or who, the blood comes from.
Creature Meats & other Monster Products[edit]
Aarakocra[edit]
Large pieces of white meat with a delicate flavor. Once plucked the arms, legs, and wings cook or grill up beautifully, and the breast meat is perfect served with salads or pastas. Many who enjoy aarakocra will tell you that frying the meat after breading with egg, flour, and spices, and served with gravy and biscuits is the best way to eat it. Finally, the thigh meat is excellent served with rice and curry sauce.
Aboleth[edit]
Hope you like insanity, since you'll get little else from aboleth meat. Since their brains grow through their bodies down to their tails you can't easily avoid having the meat tainted by grey matter, plus the added issue of their toxic slime and large amount of blood in their bodies make them near impossible to consume. However, illithids have a particular taste for aboleth brain, which not only satisfies their taste for brains and memories but also has a creamy texture.
Ankheg[edit]
Has a very earthy, flakey meat which can be delicious if cooked properly. Dwarves of certain southern clans swear by Ankheg gumbo and jambalaya, which they spice heavily with hot spices to make it even more flavorful. The creatures can also be fried whole and broken open or eaten whole for their delicious meat and the crunch of their shells. However, special care must be taken to remove their stomach and acid glands soon after death or else the residual acid will taint and ruin the meat.
Ankylosaurus[edit]
While the meat of these dinosaurs is well-marbled with a gamey, delicious flavor, the downside is the toughness of the meat. Often the meat must be hung and aged in a special cellar or very tenderized before cooking. Ideally the meat is jerked or slow cooked and slathered with thick, spicy sauces that have been flavored with the rendered fat from the animal. Ankylosaur jerky is also valued for its excellent yields of meat.
Assassin Vine[edit]
The sap of the Assassin Vine can be distilled into a syrup that tastes heavily like sour grapes and has mild alcoholic content. As such, satyr and dwarf rangers will often risk the dangers of capturing saplings of assassin vines and attempt to farm heavily-trimmed specimens for their sap. This is a dangerous endeavor if the plants are allowed to grow too big, as they could turn on the would-be farmers.
Aurochs[edit]
The orcs are renowned for their cooking of aurochs, which they prefer to do as kabobs that have been marinated to cook the meat through and reduce the toughness. When butchering an auroch, nothing is wasted: ribs, steaks and filets are all cut, the bones are used to make broths or stock, the fat is rendered, the suet from the kidneys is used in puddings and in making tallow, and any spare meat is used to make a condensed food called pemmican that can last for years.
Axebeak[edit]
Large, flightless birds that have pounds of white and dark meat for the taking. The meat is quite gamey and a bit tough but makes for great roasts with lemons and rosemary. One thigh can easily feed 10 people comfortably, and a whole bird is seen as a prime meal for weddings and celebrations through the planes. Axebeak eggs are just as valuable, with big, rich orange yolks, and can make excellent omelets with tomato and fried potatoes.
Basidirond[edit]
Terrestrial sapient mushrooms that have no meat. The yawning cupped portion of this fungus is very spongy and meaty, and can be quite delicious when cut into pieces and fried with butter or thrown into stews. The "mouth" can become quite rubbery or mushy when improperly boiled, and is generally avoided. The "legs" of this fungi make an excellent garnish when ground up and are fantastic dried or deep fried to be used as mushroom chips or fries. The spores of this mushroom can just as well be collected from their damp nests to be used as an incredibly sticky flour that makes fantastic pancakes and sweets... hallucinogenic sweets.
Basilisk[edit]
Very lean meat with a gamey reptilian texture. Often the whole animal is skinned and roasted over a slow fire after being covered with a spice rub. This is made even better given that basilisks are trainable, and a powerful magic user often keeps them penned and fattens them for food. Fried basilisk tail nuggets go great with sauces and the meat can be dried to make excellent jerky strips.
Behir[edit]
These monstrosities have a taste similar to alligators or crocodiles, but with a slightly sharp and static-laced aftertaste. Originally created by the giants, only they know the best ways to cook them, but sliced and fried behir tail nuggets can be a fine delicacy for those who enjoy the taste. Best served with sauces that have lots of umami and spice, such as those from the Eastern lands.
Beholder[edit]
Hope you like the taste of eyes because just about every cubic inch of a beholder contains a lot of vitreous fluid. Other than that, the tentacles are fairly close to the taste and texture of calamari, and the outer eyes are more or less the same in texture and taste as any mammalian eye. Eating from the main body is not recommended, as Beholder's brain is highly toxic to most humanoid life, the muscles are very thin on the very thick skull, and the marrow contains brain-matter and thus is unsafe to eat; reportedly, all of the main body tastes of whatever unpleasant tasting fungi in the area is to be found in the region where the Beholder was living, making the risk of the toxin, or effort of removing it, not worth the trouble.
Boogins[edit]
This race originates as hybrids of Orcs and Quaggoths, and as such their flavor is a mixture of the Quaggoth's sweeter venison-type flavor and the Orc's porklike flavor. Whilst a bit of a bitch to cook, it's well worth it, as the taste is similar to sweet pork, allowing for delicious, sweet, and tangy meat similar to pulled pork to be made and utilized in sandwiches.
Bowler[edit]
Bowler meat is a rare delicacy amongst crag/heathland living tribes of humans and humanoids. On one hand, the energy expenditure to obtain it is enormous, not only are bowlers near impossible to distinguish from the surrounding rock without magical or psionic aid, but they are also extremely tough to crack open, requiring strength equivalent to giant humanoids or a plethora of specially made tools. The reward however some claim, makes it worth it. Bowler meat is sweet tasting and smelling, with a wonderful aroma when fried in any sort of seed-based oil. A haggis made from their stomachs and stuffed with a plethora of vegetables and meats are considered a meal worth entire fortunes and sometimes act as dowries for primitive tribes and societies.
Brontosaurus[edit]
You can scarcely find any bigger or better source of grass-fed, perfectly marbled meat. The tons of steaks, ribs, filets, roasts, and other meats could feed a village for years. A skilled butcher could make 1,000 lbs of sausage from these dinosaurs, but doing so is almost a disservice to the tasty, gamey-bovine-reptilian flavor of the meat. What's more, brontosaur bone marrow can be used to make stock by the gallons!
Bugbear[edit]
Tastes like a mixture of Ogre meat and Hobgoblin meat, but should still be cooked well done as although they aren't as dirty as their Goblin relatives, they still aren't quite as clean as Hobgoblins. They're also a bitch to shave all the hair off of before cooking.
Bulette[edit]
An odd mixture of fishy and reptilian flavors, bulette is extremely hard to catch and even harder to cook. Most of the meat is in the shoulders, ribs, and limbs of the animal, which can be cooked with strong sweet and sour flavors to make a flavorful cooked meal. Bulette sashimi is a rare delicacy in the eastern lands.
Bullywugs[edit]
The legs make an excellent fried snack, but the meat can often be very watery and stringy. Most don't prefer the muddy flavor, but some swamp dwellers have made it a yearly tradition to hunt bullywugs for feasts. Bullywugs are of questionable sapience even in the most nurturing environments and most major swamp dwellers such as Crocodilians, aren't particularly picky on whether their quarry has a sense of pain or thought.
Camel[edit]
Very few people have the ability to properly butcher and process camel other than desert nomads and professional butchers in those regions. Best served slow cooked shortly after being butchered, camel fat renders down wonderfully with the fat in the hump acting as an excellent flavor booster for the shoulder and flank meat. Be warned, a certain Camel Merchant, Crazy Hassan, will not be happy if he catches you butchering his camels...
Cayma[edit]
Tastes much like Caiman meat, albeit a bit sweeter. Due to their smaller size, often requires multiple dead Cayma to make a nice feast.
Carbuncle[edit]
Finding pristine carbuncle meat in any market is a rare occurrence, as most carbuncle corpses are shredded beyond recognition, owing to the raw universal hatred of the creature. However, those lucky enough to be treated to a meal of intact carbuncle are surprised by the naturally soft yet marbled meat, with a generous layer of fat and a surprisingly non-gamey taste. Owing to their tendency to eat processed and cooked foods from their victims.
Catfolk[edit]
Catfolk meat tastes a lot like a cat, which is similar to sour pork. As such, the Ancient Evil Eastern Empire would use Catfolk meat as a substitute for Sweet and Sour Pork at times. The Nobles and Royalty of the Ancient Eastern Evil Empire used to devour beastfolk slaves' meat as what they claimed was an "exotic dish", despite running mass breeding programs to make the meat plentiful for the populace, in an attempt to bribe the human majority with "rich people food" and to make them guilty by association with the inhumane practice, hoping the majority of the populace would turn a blind eye if they were also implicated in the butchery. This didn't work in the long term. However, Catfolk could be said to be the catalyst of the downfall of the Beastman Flesh Trade, as the Nobles' young men often fell in love with Catgirls, whom they would often intermarry with.
Catoblepas[edit]
Few would be desperate enough to eat these swamp dwelling beasts, as their meat is either too watery or too gamey to be of much use. On top of that the stink of the animal can permeate the meat, making much of it useless for food. Some Orcs have made a spectacle of consuming catoblepas meat to prove their strength and attractiveness for mates, but most turn them down due to the stinking breath and potential disease such a meal can bring.
Cave Fisher[edit]
Often cooked flambéed as their alcoholic blood gives the meat a naturally sharp flavor, after cooking the meat is flakey with a slightly alchemical smell. The meat can then be added to curry sauces and rice for an extremely flavorful meal. The meat also works well with spice rubs that compliment the smell and taste. Drow are some of the few who have learned how to properly fry cave fishers, which can be quite crunchy.
Chimera[edit]
Both red and white meat can be harvested, though all of it has the same mix of bitter, sweet, sour, and gamey flavor- has a very "chemical" aftertaste. Chimera is one of the most difficult beasts to cook as it stinks as much as a goat and it's as greasy and tough as lion.. ..the tail however can be easily cut off, seasoned, and stuffed with lemons or vegetables and roasted as any other reptile. The legs, paws, and ribs however are salvageable and amazing barbecued. Chimera fat is often kept by those who actually enjoy the creature's "alchemical" aftertaste.
Chuul[edit]
Very buttery, fluffy, delicious shellfish meat- the Tentacles are rubbery and chewy though. The best meat is in the claws and legs and is best served boiled up and with butter. The shell itself can be used as a bowl and with the meat still inside: garlic, vegetables, oranges, or apples may be thrown in to cook up a delicious stew. The tentacles are delicious deep fried- this creature is a favorite amongst those who deal with eldritch horrors.
Cloaker[edit]
Cloakers are prized for the two valuable products they produce from their butchery, their skins, and their meat. Cloaker meat has been described as a mix between cod and shark, with a light texture and little need for deboning making it perfect for whole filets. Cloaker skin is highly sought after for its properties of magical means (being able to enhance the strength of illusion, shadow, and ninjutsu magic) and durability. Many tailors, haberdashers, cordwainers, and leather workers of all kinds celebrate good business years with a meal of baked Cloaker filets, the irony of the food's fate adding to its deliciousness.
Cockatrice[edit]
Smaller than a basilisk and tasting of a combination of snake and chicken, these little monsters are almost not worth the trouble. However, the breast meat can be butterflied and injected with butter to make delicious cutlets that go well with rice or vegetable casseroles. Most of the animal can be eaten, but extra care must be taken to cut off the head and neck as no one wants the meat to turn to stone due to the creature's saliva causing pertification.
Crocodilians[edit]
Taste mostly the same as an actual crocodile, maybe a bit leaner depending on if they're leading a healthy, active lifestyle.
Darkmantle[edit]
Darkmantle is easy enough to catch as long as you are careful and their meat is nearly identical to squid, though with a slightly metallic aftertaste. The tentacles are great fried, but even better is removing the mantle and stuffing it with the chopped-up tentacles, minced pork, rice, and spicy vegetables before cooking in oil.
Dohwar[edit]
Regular non-sapient penguin meat is best described as "oily chicken", with its breast being very robust dark meat with a fish-like taste. Dohwar meat is the complete opposite, fatty to a sickening degree, with no texture or firmness to think of, and usually polluted with alcohol and drugs due to most Dohwar's hedonistic lifestyles. Psurlon's seem to be the only race of beings able to tolerate it, making passable stews and a wide variety of cold pasta, soups, and salads with the meat.
Dekanter Goblins[edit]
Due to their nature, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin has pros and cons. The regeneration of these creatures means that much like trolls, you must completely cook the meat down to the last cell to prevent the flesh from regenerating in your gut. However, due to their smaller size, rather than full-on bursting, Dekanter Goblin's half-formed half-digested flesh lumps can become a form of obscenely large, painful, but not bursting or immediately fatal stomach-distending parasitic tumors, which must be removed with painful surgery. The reason people risk this is because, unlike the unpalatable meat of the trolls and goblins who make up a third of these creatures' genetics, the meat of a Dekanter Goblin tastes like that of the lean, delicious meat of a Rhinoceros. Not only that, but it also has the same addictive qualities that normal Goblin brains exhibit with withdrawal symptoms, leading to hooked nobles ordering it often, and paying well for it, leading to a bustling business of illegal Dekanter Goblin meat harvesting, often lead by Dekanter Goblins themselves taking advantage of their regenerative abilities and delicious, dangerous, expensive meat!
Dire Animals[edit]
Dire animals are indeed dire. While their furs and claws or whatever else you can harvest off of them may be useful, the actual meat on the animal itself is tough and when consumed en masse, could make the eater sick. However, in Orc and Goblin culture, those who can survive a meal of it, digest it, and pass it are deemed as stronger and are more attractive mates. They hunt the animal (Orcs hunting larger game, like dire bears, and goblins smaller, such as dire rats) and then cook and consume the meat themselves.
Dragon[edit]
The only disappointing thing about finishing a dragon hunt is the meat: it's worthless not because it isn't edible, but because of its spicy, gamey, flavor and rather tough texture, and difficulty to cook or work with. Giants however have a taste for it and just as well the best recipes for it from centuries of hunting the creatures.
Dragon Turtles[edit]
A salty, reptilian meat that is prized by ocean hunters. While catching and killing the dragon turtle is dangerous, the rewards are excellent. The spicy, salty flavor means the meat needs less help from other spices and makes it excellent for soups and stews. Dragon turtle soup made within the shell of the beast itself is a legendary feast among the coastal folk.
Dryads[edit]
While dryads don't have any meat, some can be very helpful when it comes to cooking. If they can be persuaded, dryads can provide fruit, berries, nuts, and other edible foodstuffs for others, though they will usually ask for the planting of trees or other appeasements before they help. One rare but highly prized product is dryad wine, which is some of the purest in terms of flavor that you can find anywhere in the planes. Some aged bottles are worth as much as a small kingdom! Alternatively, less diplomatic beings could always just slaughter the dryad and use their corpse as campfire wood to cook meats with a nicely added magical flavoring to it which helps heal grievous wounds.
Dwarves[edit]
Dwarven meat has multiple layers of muscle and when cooked the meat tends to fall apart. When dried and salted Dwarven meat lasts far longer than other humanoid meats and most mainstream foodstuffs. Taste-wise it's very white and soft meat but it has a strong bitter aftertaste. Dwarven meat on the bone with some spices would not look or taste out of place in a royal feast provided that it's unrecognizable as such. Sugary additions are not unusual.
Duergar[edit]
Even more bitter than dwarf meat, and far tougher. Lasts even longer than normal dwarven meat, but often hardens to the point where you'd break your teeth trying to eat it. Illithids do enjoy their brains, but otherwise most would never eat the meat from duergar. Spice rarely helps with the flavor, though candied duergar bites can be decent so long as you use a fine dark wine and plenty of sugar and rosemary.
Elves[edit]
Elves are wiry with not much meat on them and barely any fat. The meat is slimy, easy to swallow, and quickly digested. Ogre women sometimes joke that elven meat comes out the same as it came in. The taste can only be brought out by roasting the meat rather than cooking it and this gives it it's signature fishy smell. The structure is the same as that of other primates but the taste is undeniably that of freshwater fish. Elven fat is by far the best fat in all creation to use in the butter-making process as it has lower cholesterol.
Fire Elementals[edit]
Often celebrated as fantastic eats as far as monsters are concerned as they are already "cooked" and even in the ones that do contain parasites or diseases a normal being's body is far too cold to house them.
Flumph[edit]
The meat has a rubbery texture with a muddy sort of salty flavor. This creature is best dried or roasted and kept as a crunchy snack. It's not entirely well received otherwise unless heavily seasoned due to its slimy water-filled body. Flumphs however make excellent chowders with the addition of mushrooms and Aardvark Cream.
Ghost[edit]
Ectoplasm is extremely salty, to an almost comical degree. Any sort of skin-breathing creature that needs a layer of mucus or liquid on its skin is liable to take extreme burn like injuries from even a small splash of it. However veteran ghost hunters are known to use small drops of ectoplasm as a seasoning and in places where salt baking is common, a glaze of ectoplasm can serve just as well, providing a hardened crust when heated in an oven.
Ghouls[edit]
These death-magic-saturated beings are a type of mutation which results in the afflicted being compelled to eat the bodies of the dead, including their species, regardless if the flesh is fresh or rotten carrion. As such, their meat is often tainted by disease and parasites much like a Hyena-Man Gnoll's is.
Giant[edit]
The meat of a Giant is somewhat comparable to that of Ogres. It's equally fatty and flavorful, the muscularity making it tough unless the meat is beaten brutally, and dangerous to acquire, as that means killing a giant. The payoff for the danger is that you get enormous piles of delicious meat from killing one. This is for common Hill Giants, as depending on the variant, the meat could have different flavors as well. Flab Giants are extremely fatty and their fat can be used like lard for cooking and deep frying. Ice Giants taste somewhat like wintergreen mint added to a mixture of pork and beef. Fire Giants require extremely high temperatures to cook, as they are fire resistant, but can be broiled into a smoky, spiced ham-like flavor. Cloud Giants tend to be much leaner and with an almost watery taste to the meat unless dried. Storm Giants have an almost electricity in the air ozone before a thunderstorm sort of taste, if that makes any sense. Ettins taste like a better version of the pork-like Orc meat.
Gnoll (Hyena Men)[edit]
The flesh of a gnoll is infested with parasites and diseases from their diet of corpses and carrion. Add in their Demonic heritage, which adds in a burning sort of spicy taste, and their meat tastes like burning expired roadkill. As such, whilst Gnolls and other carrion-eaters like Ghouls and Ghasts favor Gnoll Meat as a delicacy, most other sapient beings prefer to burn the bodies of Gnoll raiders, which is seen as a grievous insult by the Gnolls, who view it as an insult and waste of a delicious meal. Another issue that few acknowledge is that ingesting Gnoll meat can give most sentient beings a mental connection to their foul Demon Lord Yeenoghu, which causes inevitable madness and a desire for cannibalism.
Gnoll (Troll-Gnome Hybrid)[edit]
The flesh of hybrids of Gnomes and Trolls, a species that are about the size of and resemble lanky hobgoblins, must be cooked much like the flesh of full-blooded trolls and Dekanter Goblins, lest stomach rupturing occur. Ogres say that sausages made from these hybrid Troll-Gnomes taste like Beef-Pork Hotdogs with Heavily Salted Peanuts added in, with the fruity flavor of their Gnome parent's meat swapped for a more citrusy taste, whilst also avoiding the unpleasant nature of their Troll parent's taste, and are seen by Ogre chefs as a sort of pre-game feast meal for games of Bashyball, Smashball, and Kicky-Skull.
Goblins[edit]
Even among Ogres goblin meat is a bit of a taboo, not because they have much respect for the creatures but because it's very unhealthy. Besides your average goblin having an unhygienic lifestyle and being quite disease-infested, their tiny bodies are filled with disproportionate amounts of humors. Consuming goblin meat leads to giddiness, poor risk assessment, and heavy mood swinging, giving goblin meat its addictive effects. Overly hedonistic pleasure cults can serve goblin brain in a bowl and believe themselves to have fallen into a spiritual trance, ensuring the loyalty of the members as the withdrawal symptoms feel very much like the wrath of a dark god. Aside from this goblin meat is very gamey and good with mushrooms.
Gnomes[edit]
Barely any meat on them, gnomes are often overlooked for meat as they have so little on them. One of the only real uses is for ground meat and sausages, which Ogres often enjoy for its sweet, nutty flavor. Smoked gnomish sausages with fruity sauce are considered a delicacy by those who are unaware of the meat's origins.
Gorgon[edit]
A truly interesting cooking experience. Killing it is highly difficult due to its armored hide, but once the armor is removed and the head and lungs are taken out to prevent petrification, the meat is surprisingly tasty. The ribs, loin, steaks, and sausage are all edible and have a taste similar to beef with a slightly mineral kick. A highly revered commodity is demi-glace made from gorgon tail. This rich brown sauce is considered the height of cuisine when paired with other rare meats, and tastes savory sweet and delicious!
Grick[edit]
A bit of an odd duck when it comes to meat, grick tentacles can be fried up and eaten, but the main body is not as good considering it's rubbery texture. When fried or dried the body near the head can become crunchy, but most of the time the bodies of these monsters are left as the treasure in their lairs are considered far more valuable than their meat.
Griffon[edit]
Griffons are rare enough to see, but they can be cooked up well if caught. Mainly the white meat from the wings and the front quarters are eaten, as the leonine meat in the back is often less tasty and harder to cook. The wings are best plucked, butterflied, and roasted over an open flame with rosemary and olive oil. Griffon eggs can also be a delicacy as omelets, but few are the adventurers crazy enough to try and take them from the nest.
Gurrash[edit]
This particular type of Gator-men is rather spicy, with a flavor similar to a mix between gator meat and spiced pork.
Halfling[edit]
Well-marbled and gamey, the meat of halflings has a savory taste, not unlike rabbit. The best cuts are located on the arms and legs, but the feet can be trimmed of hair and pickled. Best cooked in a pan and served with a mushroom and cream sauce to compliment the flavors. Giants instead prefer to simply eat halflings whole, with Hill Giants particularly enjoying them and the game of "Stuff-Stuff." Halfling fat is highly prized for frying due to its natural buttery flavor.
Hellhound[edit]
VERY "fragrant", flavorful, greasy, spicy, fatty sort of Red meat. Hellhound is often only eaten by warlocks and adventurous orcs, the meat though is quite delicious when well prepared. A good warlock will tell you nothing beats braised ginger Hellhound with peppers. The ribs though are particularly delicious sopped in sauce and barbecued slowly - the meat itself can be 'quite' spicy though. The fat makes an excellent flavor enhancer.
Hobgoblin[edit]
Hobgoblin meat is much less dangerous than Goblin meat, as Hobgoblins clean themselves, worry about their health and so medicate, and cook their food. Otherwise, it is similar to Goblin meat. You would think this would make the consumption of Hobgoblin meat more widespread, but civilized folk tends to look down on the consumption of Hobgoblin meat even more than that of Goblin meat because they see Hobgoblins with their civilization, evil as it is, as making them more "people" than Goblins are with their primitive, dirty lifestyles.
Humans[edit]
Humans are the most watery of the races, their meat tends to be juicy but devoid of strong taste compared to the others. The best recipes with humans in them make use of the bone marrow and organs, it is recommended to let them simmer for a long time to bring out what little taste they have. Human brains and nerve centers can cause madness and should be discarded.
Hydra[edit]
Many people are often quite shocked by just how common Hydra meat is in swamp lands given the terrible stories they hear of the beasts. Little is it known however that it's quite common for people to contain "Hydra coops" where a juvenile hydra is kept and fed Rats and other unsavory tidbits in exchange for harvesting its regenerating, delicious, and easy to prepare meat.
Illithid[edit]
Illithid is very unusual to harvest as one must take care to identified what creature was used as a host during it's ceremorphosis. This is because an illithid's meat will always taste like a muted version of it's host. Most people thus find illithid meat to be rather boring and only use it as a filler or to make the infamous "Faux Calamari". The only races with a particular interest in illithid meat are Duergar and Githyanki who often hunt illithids and enjoy turning the tables on their former oppressors.
Kenku[edit]
Kenku doesn't taste that much different than Ravens, which in turn tastes like wild duck. As such, a slain Kenku can easily be cooked up and served like any other bird, although they were only served openly as such in the same ancient Eastern Evil Empires that served Dog-Kobolds and Catfolk meat in open-air sapient-butcher slave-flesh markets. They were served cooked and hot with a serving of duck sauce. Removing the feathers was often done whilst the Kenku was still alive, which was seen as both an embarrassment and torture.
Kobold(Tiny Draconic Lizardmen)[edit]
These guys taste a bit like Dragon, but ironically a lot better in flavor and cookability. They're compared to tasting like a spicy fried lizard when cooked, with lizard tasting like chicken.
Kobold(Tiny Dog Men)[edit]
These beings, who share the name of Kobolds and often inhabit similar cave environments, are said to taste like the dogs they resemble, which is similar to beef. In times past, where some Oriental Cultures were ruled by Evil-aligned Leaders, the Dog Kobolds were kept in massive death camps and forcibly bred, every year the leader would attempt to numb the suffering of the common populace race against rebellion by having a Kobold Festival, where hundreds, perhaps thousands of kobolds were kept in cages before being publicly executed by being butchered and deep fried in oil. This practice has been stopped in recent years due to mass Dog Kobold escapes leading to rebellions and riots, outside pressure by boycott sanctions by Kingdoms who are against the consumption of sapients, and societal revolutions.
Kraken[edit]
Extremely difficult to kill but worth every bit of the work, Kraken tentacles provide piles of meat to any who can slay one. Best steamed or added to soups or stews with garlic, butter, and celery, the tentacles can also be fried or poached. Giants are known for making great Kraken sashimi with tuna meat and seaweed.
Kuo-Toa[edit]
The meat of a Kuo-Toa, when properly prepared with a deep batter fry and served with chips (fries for the uncultured swine out there) and tartar sauce, is capable of giving the eater a mild high such as that of marijuana. The meat is described as a softer, richer haddock or pollock sort of taste. However, undercooked or raw Kuo-Toa meat consumption can result in the equivalent of a "bad trip" with visions of horrific monsters forming from the consumer's id. What's worse is that, like how the Kuo-Toa has the ability to bring their imagined deities to life with the power of group-think, a group of diners who have experienced undercooked Kuo-toa meat consumption will gestalt psychically spawn a lower-mid-level aberration taking form from their shared living nightmares.
Lindworm[edit]
Lindworm meat is rather bland, like an unseasoned, boiled chicken. However, it can be prepared into a delicious meal utilizing the correct blend of herbs and spices. Northern barbarian warrior tribes often enjoy the feast after slaying one of these beasts as they see them as an open canvas for experimenting with the many spices and herbs they have looted in their travels, raids, and adventures.
Lizardfolk[edit]
Being that lizardfolk are carnivorous, territorial, and xenophobic, they are rarely hunted and generally left to their own devices and swampy homelands. That said, lizardfolk tail is nearly identical in taste and texture to alligator or crocodile. Swamp dwellers swear by lizardfolk tail, coated in egg and cornmeal and fried, but the meat can be equally good poached or roasted.
Locathah[edit]
Taste much like Catfish, and as such, locathah living near coastal bayous and swamps need to watch out for unscrupulous immoral fish merchants willing to murder and butcher a locathah for their meat and pass it off as mounds of smoky, fire-cooked catfish.
Loxodon[edit]
As beings that resemble a humanoid elephant, Loxodon meat is stated to taste mostly the same as actual elephants, pretty unpleasant, with a bit of the watery porklike flavor of Humans as an undertone. They still often guard their dead at the Loxodon Graveyards to make sure poachers and cannibalistic sapients don't defile these holy places for their meat, as despite not tasting that good, corrupt colonial nobles with more money than sense often serve Loxodon meat at parties while telling tall tales of their safari for the meat, often telling lurid tales of slaughtering whole Loxodon villages when in reality they paid off a poacher/grave robber to either sneak into the nearest Loxodon Graveyard and find a way to steal a recent corpse or murder a lone traveling Loxodon.
Leucrotta[edit]
Dark and tough meat, tasting like that of larger antelopes and various wild canines. Meat should be consumed with caution even with cooking due to their corpse scavenging nature, Leucrotta raised in private reserves however is said to be some of the cleanest living game, with wonderful taste when smoked over most woods.
Manticore[edit]
Greasy, gamey, very sweet yet bitter meat- except the tail and wings. Manticore meat is exceptionally sweet and the flavor is not for everyone, but it makes excellent Manticore chops, bacon, and fries up exceptionally in its own fat. The Wings can be dried or deep fried for a tasty treat and the Tail can be either boiled and cracked open to be eaten like an insect with butter or deep fried and served in stews or curries.
Merfolk[edit]
A mixture of porklike human flavoring and fish. As such, sometimes particularly immoral fishermen with trawlers will "accidentally" catch merfolk in with their regular haul. This does nothing to help already embittered sea/land tensions over pollution from land civilizations.
Mimic[edit]
Only cooked by changelings, these monsters have flavorful, gamey red meat that goes excellently with pasta or seafood. They go great with garlic butter and other spices, though steaming them to open them is nearly as popular. Often the tongue of the mimic is cut and cooked separately. The tongue, gums, and cheeks are often spiced with pepper rubs and other strong, spicy flavors to make them even more delicious.
Minotaur[edit]
Not cooked often, this combines flavors of human and bovine flesh but is rarely cooked as these monsters are very unsanitary and teeming with parasites. Minotaur women are well known for their milk and cheese, but often most people won't say where either are from. The cheese often has a sour, strong flavor to it but is generally regarded as quite tasty.
Myconids[edit]
Hard to find as they live in the Underdark, these fungi can be used for myriad culinary purposes. The spongy cap to the sprouts is often likened to a morell mushroom with a bit of a muddy aftertaste, and the adults taste more like shitake or truffle depending on their age. A delicacy in certain human tribes is a myconid cooked between pita loaves with spices and cheese.
Norker[edit]
These stony-skinned goblinoids need to be skinned first, and even then they just have all the negative qualities of goblin meat, with a tougher, less palatable texture. Don't bother.
Ogre[edit]
Much like Orc meat, but 5,000 times better in the positive aspects and only a bit worse in the negatives. The equally muscular and fatty flavor of Ogre Meat, combined with Ogres not having qualms with cannibalism and preparation of other Ogres' flesh, means that when two tribes of Ogres go to war, plenty of delicious piles of the meat of the fallen will be prepared into a delicious feast. It is tough at first, but with the strength of an Ogre cook beating the meat viciously with a club until it is soft, then seasoning it like pulled pork and serving BBQ style with mashed potatoes and chives, it's a delicious red-meat delight, with fatty, delicious flavor in enormous Ogre steaks.
Orc[edit]
Few people eat orcs as their raids cause so much damage that most would prefer to burn the bodies and forget rather than cook the dead raiders. Orc is an earthy, bitter, pork flavored meat that is extremely greasy. Even trimmed of fat orc meat is difficult to cook with as it is very tough. Orc is best jerked and slathered with strongly spiced sauces and served with chilled vegetable slaw.
Owlbear[edit]
Very gamey, strong-smelling, red meat that's rather tough, sweet, as well as being quite greasy. Owlbear is best eaten almost as soon as it's killed and harvested or dried as the smell will permeate any other foods and the meat is rife with parasites. The meat makes fine steaks, bacon, and sausages, but it excels in stews and soups with a long side apples, onions, carrots, celery, and cabbage. Owlbear stew with Walnut Bread is a very common dish amongst Fey folk and other forest dwellers in the autumn.
Peryton[edit]
Meat tastes like an oily combination of human, avian, and venison meats, this meat is often ignored since perytons are often disgusting and unhygienic. The leg meat is dark and can be cooked up well with rice and spices, but the oil can make cooking hard without burning or undercooking the meat.
Phoenix[edit]
Spicy, gamey, extremely flavorful with no real odor, a very nice white meat. Phoenix is best when the entire bird is put out, stuffed with bread crumbs, and then ironically enough, baked again. The meat is extremely tender once it's been cooked and is best prepared with methods that best compliment its very signature already barbecued flavor. Phoenix due to its rarity is not an entirely common dish and more often than not is only usually used to make simply amazing turducken-style feasts.
Quaggoth[edit]
These bearlike humanoids taste mostly like the meat of a bear, with perhaps a bit of the watery pork undertones humans have, albeit not enough to affect the flavor in too negative of a way. As such, Quaggoth stew is pretty much easily sold off by immoral frontier innkeepers to traveling adventurers, as a way of making extra coin from and covering up massacres of Quaggoth tribes for their land & natural resources.
Quipper[edit]
While catching them can be difficult without losing fingers, these fish are excellent roasted over a fire or as spiced and flavored fillets. Furthermore, they can make decent sashimi with plantains or cooked wrapped in banana leaves.
Remorhaze[edit]
These extremely intractable monsters can be very difficult to cook as their meat is already heated and requires high heat to cook. Frying with certain fats and poaching in salt water, lemons, and spices are some of the only reliable cooking methods, and the meat often has a sharp, acrid taste. Frost giants use remorhazes as both food and trained beasts, preferring to freeze-dry the meat so it will keep longer. Freeze-dried remorhaze makes an excellent soup base as long as other spices are added to dull the sharp flavor.
Roc[edit]
Rocs amongst many primitive and medieval cultures are considered gods of the sky, however, it doesn't stop the brave amongst them from using them for food. Their eggs make some of the largest omelets in the planes while bringing down a Roc can feed a village of a hundred for years if preserved correctly. Their meat is described as salty and gamey, due to their diet of large pachyderms and whales but a whole roasted roc is considered a symbol of hubristic opulence amongst many nations.
Ropers[edit]
Even though they are 'evil,' Ropers are quite delicious, shelled, boiled, and cooked with garlic, butter, mushrooms, and onions. Their Piercer larva are also sometimes skewered with a stick and roasted over a fire by Troglodytes.
Rust Monster[edit]
The meat is similar to other giant land arthropod meats, with a texture and form not unlike ocean-dwelling crustaceans, notably earthy in flavor and relatively soft in texture. However, Rust monster meat is notorious for its heavy metallic aftertaste and sometimes toxic levels of lead and other metals. It is said that the Drow raise rust monsters with a diet of noble inert metals such as platinum and gold, leading to a slice of colorful meat with little or no metallic tones. The frontal feelers are said to be chewy yet soft and are delicious when deep-fried in butter and sliced like calamari.
Sahuagin[edit]
The meat of a Sahuagin has a sort of flavor that mixes the flavors of Shark with Alligator, with a sort of spicy undertone. It is often prepared Cajun-style by the City Guard of Seaside Land-Dweller cities after failed Sahuagin raids, served with loads of marinara sauce with grilled corn cobs, buttered and boiled chuul, peppers, lemon-soaked-and-grilled shrimp and spices mixed up in a huge serving tray.
Sea Serpent[edit]
Enormous heaps of red meat with a fishy sort of reptilian flavor- very similar to snake or poultry. Sea serpent is filleted, after which the slabs of its meat can be either dried, salted, smoked, or roasted as with fresh shellfish or rice on the side. Sea serpent is often hunted and cooked by Giants: spit-roasted on sticks with octopus or seaweed and just as easily grilled with Mastodon Butter. The beast is also excellent deep fried and served with fries and lemon.
Shardminds[edit]
Not entirely inedible. Creature's "crystals" must be grounded up into a fine powder before consumption by organic beings. This powder can be used as a mineral supplement and added to the teaspoons into water.
Shazak[edit]
This subspecies of lizardfolk tastes softer, tastier, and richer.
Slinker[edit]
"Boil em, mash em, bake em, make em into stew" The same mode of thinking that applies to potatoes also applies to this common vermin, slit open and cleaned of guts, slinkers are wonderful whole roasted or baked with various garnishes. Their bones are basically gruel and allow for the whole creature to be purred into a mash that can be further fried into Slinkerbrowns or Slinkerpatties and sausages. Slinker meat also keeps very well when canned, allowing any civilization with such ability to mass produce large amounts of unperishable quantities of canned slinker meat, saving the lives of many starfarers.
Slimes[edit]
Gelatinous Cubes are inedible until salted, whereupon it turns into an antacid. Other slime varieties vary wildly in the safety of consumption, how to prepare to ensure safety, and side effects.
Thouls[edit]
These creatures of mixed Ghoul, Troll, and Hobgoblin descent are an absolute mess to work with. They're filled with disease, their flesh regenerates unless cooked to damn near char, and the meat has the same addictive qualities as a Goblin's. As such, a torture method by certain Eastern Empires is force-feeding Thoul Jerky to traitors and other hated individuals, ensuring they become addicted and cursing them to a painful death looking for food they hate, have to damn near turn to ash to consume safely, and is dangerous to hunt. What's worse, the eater may contract Ghoulism, and death is often not enough for relief for sapient beings who consume Thoul, as if one dies afterward from Thoul meat regenerating in their gut, they may become a Gaki or "Hungry Ghost", a ghoul-like undead obsessed with eating one type of disgusting food which they find no enjoyment in eating, in this case, Thoul meat.
Triceratops[edit]
Thick, lustrous, well-marbled, leaf and grass-fed, juicy slightly gamey red meat. Triceratops can be served and prepared more like Beef or any other hoofed animal: gutted and roasted on the spot, the ribs harvested and slathered with sauce, and even their feet are "alright" when pickled. Giants and Savage Humans however SWEAR by Triceratops Meatloaf with a tomato sauce gravy.
Troggle[edit]
Hybrids of Ogres and Trolls, the meat of these bestial idiots have the fatty flavorfulness of an ogre-meat steak with only slightly sour undertones from their Troll parentage, with the bonus of the meat being regenerating, with the downside of requiring being cooked until every cell is dead to prevent regenerating Troggle flesh bursting from the consumer's gut. Some enterprising yet depraved ogre chefs took care to "breed" some for meat production, capturing and forcing themselves upon trolls, and keeping them captive to ensure the birth of Troggles. These poor souls were kept chained up and fed so their ogre parents could harvest meat from them, usually resulting in the Troggle child growing up mentally scarred and naturally mistrustful. Most Ogre tribes, although of limited morality, view this as a sick and twisted act, and will viciously beat the offending Ogre to death upon discovery of such depraved meat dungeons. The troll parent and the troggle are then released to the wild, to a cruel world where neither is truly accepted again amongst trolls or ogres. Still, the meat's pretty good though, and plentiful, and as such some Evil-Aligned Military Dictatorships had in the past taken to kidnapping whole tribes of Ogres and Trolls to forcibly breed Troggles, who they keep in horrific butchery camps to produce meat which was burnt to a crisp to prevent regeneration, to produce mass amounts of protein rations for soldiers, a fate worth than death for the Troggles, who could languish in these mind breaking conditions indefinitely. As such, Trolls and Ogres rarely mate nowadays, for memories of the horrors of Meat-Camps are still passed down by the small tribes of these brutish giant humanoids, ensuring Troggles are a lonely breed with very few Troggle-only settlements, usually in the vicinity of the liberated Meat-Camps after the past Evil Empires were lost to war and the ravages of time.
Troll[edit]
Some daring (or idiotic) noble youths had begun to attempt to prepare troll meat that wouldn't regenerate in their guts and rip them apart from the inside, by making sure the flesh had been utterly cooked down to the last cell. It is supposed that the idea was similar to the idea of Fugu, or Poisonous Puffer Fish with the poison removed. Tough, chewy, and tasting like "steak that has been soaked in soured milk", it was generally seen as food only the most desperate of adventurers in troll-infested wastelands would consider risking their lives preparing, as the risk in fighting the troll to acquire its meat, followed by the risk of the flesh regenerating and tearing up your guts, the preparation details were sold to adventurer guilds for a mark-down. Raw troll flesh has been described by soon-to-be-dead-by-bursting idiots as "like raw chicken that has gone bad mixed with infected snot". Rarely, those whose guts have strong enough acids to digest the troll meat as soon as it regenerates wind up being mutated into hulking, half-trollish brutes with enhanced strength and stamina, although increased appetite is a side effect.
Tyrannosaurus[edit]
Who has never wanted to taste what a giant prehistoric lizard is like as steaks? While hunting these creatures can be one of the most dangerous endeavors anyone can undertake, the rewards are plentiful: mountains of reptilian meat that can be cooked up easily and lots of fat to add flavor. The arms are seen as a delicacy by some who like the crispy, rib-like flavor the meat gets when slow cooked and then broiled. One the other hand, actual Tyrannosaurus ribs are far better, and when slathered in sauce and roasted they can keep a village feasting for days!
Unicorn[edit]
Absolutely Delicious: savory, thick, slabs of marbled beautiful meat. Rarely hunted successfully, but when it is, it's quite a joyous occasion as many are surprised by how delicious this animal's meat is. If the Unicorn itself isn't just gutted, skewered through a stick, and roasted on spot with an apple the meat makes amazing steaks, ground unicorn "beef", meatballs, sausages, and Ribs. Fey lords often flaunt their wealth by having roasted unicorns and their generosity by donating the bones to soup kitchens during the holidays.
Velociraptor[edit]
Most think these little dinosaurs have little enough meat on them to be worth the hunt, but they miss out on one of the best possible meals! The reptiles can be easily plucked and skinned and have a slightly more gamey texture than turkey, and roast up beautifully when stuffed with herbs, lemon, and butter. In some jungle communities, a feast of several of these birdlike dinosaurs is a yearly and much revered tradition.
Wallara[edit]
These magical lizardfolk taste somewhat like a slightly fruitier form of normal lizardfolk meat. Excess consumption of their meat can lead to "spirit visions" and potential for temporary acts of prophecy. As such, sham fortunetellers and fallen priests will try to acquire Wallara meat in unsavory ways to be able to get actual powers of foresight temporarily, often hiring bandits, assassins, and raiders to kill whole Wallara tribes for their meat.
Wolf-in-Sheep's-Clothing[edit]
Whilst the corpse of a small animal it uses as a lure on top of the stump body tends to be somewhat fresh, the fact it's full of filaments for controlling its movement tends to make the meat full of splinters. The wood of the main plant-creature, however, can be used as fuel for cooking other meats and is known for adding a good smoky flavor to meat cooked over it.
Worm[edit]
Worm Meat is often likened to the "spam of the dwarves" given how inexpensive it is, how common it is, how easy it is to prepare, and (un)fortunately because of its texture.
Wyvern[edit]
Wyvern meat tastes like sour, spicy chicken, although the meat is risky to eat, as if the poisonous breath organ of the wyvern is burst during slaying it, it could potentially internally spread into the creature's bloodstream and render the meat riddled with the poison which, whilst the wyvern itself is immune to, could poison any race consuming the meat without poison resistance or immunity. As such, having a spell or potion of cure poison on hand whilst consuming wyvern meat is advised.
Yeti[edit]
Human-tasting sort of sweet pork textured red meat. Yeti smells quite delicious when cooking, but the sweet flavor can be a little off-putting to some individuals. The best meat is on the Forearms and Legs- the hands, ribs, and everything else is usually avoided due to their similarity to humanoid anatomy. Yeti is best served roasted or barbecued with a good sauce- it's often boiled as an emergency food though in Harsh cold environments.
Eberron Cuisine[edit]
Aundairian cuisine features a cacophony of ingredients that their classically trained chefs turn into a symphony of taste and texture. Aundairian meals consist of small portions presented in elegant fashion, each plate a beauty to behold and a wonder to savor. Sauces play a heavy role in any recipe, and the cuisine of this nation is considered to be exquisitely rich and suitable for special occasions. Pan-seared rabbit with an Aundairian wood-nut sauce, gold pheasant stuffed with sparkle mushrooms and rice, and dragon salmon in butter and dark wine sauce are particular favorites that have begun appearing in House Ghallanda inns throughout the Five Nations.
This region also has a reputation for its premier vineyards, and the wines of Aundair are considered among the finest in all of Khorvaire. Some of the best recent vintages now being traded in markets across the land include fireburst wine from the vineyards of Arcanix, dark Orla-un wine known for its fruity sweetness, and Windshire rainbow wine, a type of mursi (red wine) that changes color and flavor as one consumes a glass.
Finally, Aundairian pastries and sweets reveal a level of artistic and culinary sophistication unmatched throughout the Five Nations. From tarts to cremfels (thin, fruit-and-cream-filled pancakes), the desserts that originated in this region combine elegance with artistry that reveals at least a portion of the Aundairian spirit.
Brelish cooking utilizes meats, vegetables, and hearty sauces to create filling and comforting meals. Northern Brelish cuisine tends to be simpler fare, with a sweet and savory flavor. This is the food of farmers, designed to satisfy even the most ravenous appetites before and after a day of work in the fields. Here one can find beef boranel, a favorite of the king, that features a bread and mushroom stuffing roasted inside a full side of beef. Other hearty meals from the northern and central regions of Breland include farmer’s stew, thrice-poached eggs and sizzling pheasant, and kettle fried spider and redeye berries.
Southern Brelish cooking is more adventurous, utilizing the spices and vegetables that grow in the more tropical clime. Food with a lot of heat dominates the menu, as do meals influenced by the diverse population of Sharn and then transported into the rest of the countryside. Traditional southern Brelish cooking is spicy and flavorful, and often too hot for those used to simpler fare. Fire-wrapped golden fish, spiced pork and orange peppers, and hot-spiced chicken in panya leaves are considered high cuisine in the best inns and restaurants throughout Breland.
Sharn fusion, meanwhile, is a culinary experiment in combining traditional Brelish cooking with the exotic cuisine of the diverse people that regularly pass through or settle in the City of Towers. Taking ingredients and cooking styles from all over Khorvaire, the master chefs of Sharn combine these exotic dishes with their native presentation to make a totally new form of cuisine. Bold and exciting, Sharn fusion isn’t for everyone. But for those willing to try something new and a little different, this exotic culinary experience is worth the effort and expense (Sharn fusion tends to cost more than a traditional Brelish meal).
Karrnathi cuisine tends to be as heavy and complex as its architecture, with filling, multi-layered casseroles one of the mainstays of the typical family meal. Karrns consider sausage- and cheesemaking to be art forms, and all kinds and varieties of these foods can be found throughout the land. Because of the harsh winters, stews and soups are a staple of Karrnathi cooking, and every hearth has a pot of something simmering over the fire throughout the long winter season.
Brewing, another popular Karrnathi pastime, has created some of the most flavorful and potent beers and ales in the Five Nations, and kegs of Karrnathi brews find their way to markets across the continent. Baking has also developed into a staple of Karrnathi culinary art, and all kinds of pies and breads come out of the rich-smelling ovens throughout the land. One particularly popular loaf, called vedbread, combines crusty bread with the flavorfully sharp ved cheese. This is enjoyed warm as it emerges from the oven, or slathered with onion butter.
While the heart and soul concentrates on the Silver Flame, the collective stomach of Thrane looks to the country’s unique cuisine for a different kind of religious experience. Many find that secular life in Thrane is stifled by the theocracy, but few who come to the country find the food to be disappointing. “It is like a breath of fire in the cold of a dark winter’s night” said Princess Wroya of Breland during a diplomatic visit to Thrane, after partaking in the Feast of the Silver Flame. Utilizing thrakel spices cooked in thick sauces, Thrane cuisine tends to be heavy, filling, hot, and delicious. Thrakel-seared beef in red sauce, three-thrakel fish stew, and the traditional silvered vegetable skewers are particular favorites in Thrane and beyond.
The people of Thrane also enjoy their desserts, but here they take a different tack. To counter the spicy nature of the main meal, Thrane desserts tend to be sweet and served cold. Beesh-berry sorbet on top of silverfruit pie is considered the best of many tempting desserts.
Food holds a special place in Adaran life. It is a requirement for life, but it is also a mode of expression, a blessing from the spirit world, and an experience. An Adaran avoids cooking and eating when he is angry or grieving, lest his emotions taint the meal.
Food is usually baked in or roasted on a clay oven built in the house, though broiling over an open fire is a common alternative. Adarans avoid using utensils. They use their hands, sometimes protected by leaves, to pick up food, intending to involve all five senses in eating.
Adarans like spice. The fragrant herbs used in cooking provide taste, and many also aid digestion and fortify the body. Foreigners can find Adaran food too spicy, and Adarans often find foreign food bland.
A wide variety of comestibles can be found on the Adaran table, from broad, woody cavern fungi to the meat of mountain sheep, from fleshy fruits to the milk of oxen and goats—along with yogurt and cheeses from this milk. Some Adarans refrain from eating meat, showing their respect for the lives of all creatures.
Monasteries are often more limited in fare, due to the ruggedness of the land around them. Still, the ascetics appreciate food as a manifestation of life.
The people of Rhiavhaar, Pyrine, and Ohr Kaluun eat fish. Those of Dor Maleer are hunters by tradition. Few other Riedrans eat meat, and many consider the practice barbaric.
The mainstay of the Riedran diet is the pomow plant. This fruit was developed by the Bountiful Horn during the first few centuries of the Riedran unification. Its origin remains a mystery, but common belief is that it involved meta-creation techniques and wild zones bound to Lammania. Pomow is a hardy crop that can grow in a range of climates, and every part of the plant has a use. The meat, root, and seeds can all be eaten, and are remarkably high in protein; the core is filled with juice; the bushy fibers around the stalk can be worked into thread, much like cotton; and strips of the tough rind are sharp enough to shave with. A pomow is a dark purple spheroid, ranging from one foot to two feet across. Pomow plants are remarkably fecund, and a stalk begins growing new fruit as soon as the sphere is plucked. Riedrans use a wide range of spices to add flavor and variety to their common meal of pomow gruel. They abstain from any sort of intoxicants.
Food in Syrkarn is plentiful, well spiced, and served with copious amounts of ustah—a potent liquor brewed from honey and wild berries, reportedly from an ancient ogre recipe. The demands of rural life limit the choices available to the Syrk palate, with meat, fruits, and vegetables all typically dried for storage and transport. However, Syrks treat cooking with the same reverence as their other arts, and need no excuse for a feast.
The Tundra is not the place for cultured cuisine, but in terms of resourcefulness and ingenuity, Tashanans must be admired. In coastal and lake areas, the diet consists primarily of fish, waterfowl, and sea mammals, with some varieties of harvested seaweed. Inland, meat is provided by the vast herds of caribou, supplemented by fox, bear, and the occasional mammoth in the far north. Many tribes also harvest various types of lichen and algae that cling to the glacial rocks of the plains. Tashanans are renowned for finding utility in every possible part of the kill—examples are foxsnout soup and the infamous Chuniigi blubbercake. Some larger southern tribes employ a limited system of agriculture for winter grains.
Tavern food[edit]
Stew, for the most part. It has meat in it, and potatoes, and is served with dumplings and bread. It's cheap, it's filling, and, most importantly, it's hot. You're fine as long as you don't ask what the meat is.
If you're feeling flush, maybe things went your way at the dog tracks, or you just got your first paycheck in the new gig, you order the omelette. The barkeep keeps chickens out the back, along with a few animals. Milk, eggs, and some actual named meats that are too good for the stew, but not enough for a proper cut of meat. It's served with potatoes that've been sliced thin and fried to hell and back. Plus, the barmaid (the barkeep's daughter) tends to lean down low over the table to make sure it doesn't slide while she's serving it.
For adventurers, if you flash a little gold, he'll go delve in the icehouse and turn up some gammon. Salted, smoked lumps of pig. Fried with a little exotic produce, tastes delicious, especially with an egg on top. Customary to over-order a bit, and curry some goodwill with the regulars, as the leftover meats go into the 'stew', or omelettes.
And they make the BEST trail rations. Basically the 'stew', with extra dripping from the roast beasts they do on holy days, poured into flatbread from the bakery across the road, and left to soak the juices up and congeal. Cold, but full of nutritious calories.
Recipes[edit]
Tropajhin Lu'Kurra
700g ground Rothe meat
1 egg
1/2 cup of dried shrieker 'crumbs'
1/2 cup of finely chopped mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon mustard
450 g thick cut goblin belly strips
Rendered Rothe fat for frying
Garlic powder
Dwarf pepper
1 Mix egg and mustard.
2 Add ground chuck, breadcrumbs and mushroom.
3 Add seasonings (Generally, a layer of salt and pepper)
4 Garlic powder is added to each side then a pinch or two of red pepper).
5 Weigh out about 5 oz of the mixture and make into a meatball then flatten slightly.
6 Wrap a slice of goblin or two around the meat
7 Fasten with the favour of Lloth. (You can hide a toothpick in their too if you're not sure that you're in the Goddess' good graces.)
8 Fry up in pan -- a few minutes on each side.
9 Serve up with a cup of Gloomwine and the still-beating heart of a male commoner.
Note: If you're serving it up to a rival the still-beating heart of their lover makes for an amusing meal - Or you may consider garnishing with a few leaves of Lloth's Passion. Two leaves to humiliate them with public fornication, four to make them fornicate till they die.
Sci-Fi Cuisine[edit]
So far, this has all been about fantasy cuisine. All well and good, but let's not limit ourselves here. Sci-Fi writers like to speculate on what people might eat in the future.
A Flavor Blast from Futures' Past[edit]
Steampunk food is typically Victorian food. Probably because it was made by people looking back.
You want to do a Dieselpunk on an Atompunk setting, well they had ideas about food. A general idea was very industrial and synthetic with terms like "Pre-Digested" being thrown around as unironic positives. If you want a microcosm of this of this mindset and how it played out, it's Wonderbread.
It used to be that poor people ate whole wheat bread and rich people ate white bread. White flour is sieved, which removes the bran and germ of the grain as well as (back in the old days when storage was not so good) things like dirt, bug bits and rat shit. Sieving flour was originally done by hand, but could be mechanized making what was a luxury food a staple for the masses. This happened with the development of automatic baking machines in which loaves of bread could be made in the millions easily without humans ever touching the product before it's sold. Only problem was that the brain and germ contain a lot of important nutrients and white bread is pretty much junkfood. So in WWII the US began enriching flour with various vitamins, calcium and other additives so GI Joe would be in good shape to kick Hitler's butt. After the war, you got Wonder-Bread which was seen as modern and futuristic in the 1950s. Since then, there's been a shift back to whole wheat flour and artisan bread as the prestige food.
Dehydration[edit]
A lot of food is by volume water. This can be removed by freeze drying, which reduces weight and volume and makes it shelf stable for a long period until it's rehydrated. For some things a fair bit of quality can be preserved this way. This got the US army's interest for some time and captured the imagination of sci-fi writers and cartoonists for some time.
Food Pills[edit]
The holy grail of 50s food futurism: A full meal in something the size of a throat lozenge. From the Jetsons to Space Adventures, food pills were a staple of the pulp era of Science Fiction.
Needless to say, there were some snags. In particular density. A human needs about 2,000 to 2,500 kilocalories a day and 100 grams of butter has 717 kcals, leaving aside all the other nutrients. You're not getting a three course meal as a 1cm long pill. But even if you forgo the meal in the palm of your hand ideal and instead settle for eating bowls of them, most people would not find a diet of jellybeans to be super appetizing.
Self Heating Meals[edit]
In Isaac Asimov's Foundation (1953), the Foundationers have food packages that have one-use heating units. Select one you like from the pantry, turn it on and soon it will open up and unfurl into a disposable bowl with eating utensils and a nice hot meal. This prediction fared better than most.
In the 1980s the US military introduced Flameless Ration Heaters for their MREs. Several other militaries have introduced similar systems. Civilian versions have also come up, in particular for hikers and campers.
Space Food[edit]
On April 12, 1961 the USSR launched Vostok-1, the first manned spacecraft. Over the span of 108 minutes it completed a single orbit of the Earth. A big part of the mission was to find out how people handled Zero Gravity and part of that was that in flight Yuri Gagarin ate a few toothpaste tubes of beef and liver paste without problems.
Despite some worries it turns out the Human Body is pretty adaptable and can adjust to weightlessness fairly well. Our traditional eating arrangements not so much. Pour yourself a bowl of cornflakes on the ISS and you have a 3D mess which could jam up instruments. Space food should not be something that easily break apart into crumbs. Open cups just won't do.
So far, humans have not travelled far from earth. A journey from the earth to the moon took 3 days and the ISS is only a few hours away from resupply on a return journey. A journey to Mars in the near future will likely take months either way even at an optimal orbital window. Combine that with a need to keep the mass down and keeping the air breathable over the long voyage and it becomes clear that instead of just packing up a load of rations you'd want to grow at least some food along the way. A lot of experiments have been made for hydroponic farming in space.
Microbial Meals[edit]
Growing algae, yeast and other such microbes on an industrial scale to provide foodstuffs. Asimov was keen on this for feeding his future megacities.
To an extent this has happened. As an example Spirulina is grown both as animal feed and a dietary supplement for human consumption. Of course it also needs a lot of mechanical processing to become edible.
Single Celled Organism Paste, or Scop, is a common food in the Cyberpunk setting by R. Talsorian Games.
Chemical Cookery[edit]
When you get down to it, food is just chemicals like everything else. It is in principle possible to feed carbon, water and various other chemicals into a machine and have it assemble them into nutrients.
The complications are not with simple things such as sugars, which have molecules with a couple dozen atoms. It's with the more complex chemicals like proteins, which are hideously complex and require molecular machinery to build.
Cultured Meat[edit]
"We shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts separately under a suitable medium."
- – Winston Churchill being oddly prophetic
The basic idea is simple: take a few Stem Cells from a (for example) a cow, put them in a growth chamber, pump in nutrients and chemicals made in a bioreactor, pump out waste and have them grow into muscle tissue and then harvest it and grill it. Badda bing badda bomb, you have a Lab-Grown steak. Not a facimile made from processed plant matter, but real bovine flesh. Potentially this could revolutionize the meat industry as it would need less inputs, produce less cow-farts and vegetarians who avoid meat for ethical reasons can enjoy the real deal guilt free and there is a lot of people looking into doing this on an industrial scale.
In general, there has been considerable progress on this front over the last decade and a lot of effort into developing it. It is possible to grow meat cultures and they pass the taste test. The initial runs were very expensive, though costs are steadily going down.
Post Scarcity Spreads[edit]
We live in a time of abundance that our medieval ancestors could only dream of. In a first-world country even the poor can have meat every day, luxuries like pepper are given away for free in restaurants, fresh fruit and green vegetables are available year round and we have various aides to make food prep easier from computer controlled ovens to mix-masters so that preparing elaborate meals is quick and easy.
In a world with vast supplies of clean energy, huge robot workforces, 3D printers and other forms of automated fabrication it is conceivable that we could eliminate hunger and see to it that everyone eats well. In Utopian societies like the United Federation of Planets or The Culture this is the case.
Dystopian Dining[edit]
Of course, many worlds in science fiction are not sunny and welcoming and this is often reflected in the menu. On worlds ravaged by pollution, nuclear war and overpopulation the gulf between rich and poor becomes increasingly pronounced. For the majority of people, there's hydroponic rice noodles, tofu and questionable meat cultures if your lucky and yeast-paste and synthetic carb pellets if your not, supplemented with the odd barbecued rat. While megacorporate elites can chow down on what we'd consider real food.
If things are really bad, well "Soylens Viridians homini est".
Warhammer 40,000 Cuisine[edit]
Food is rarely discussed in universe, but plays a far more vital role than people realize. From the Imperium to the Eldar and the Tyranids, everyone needs to eat so they can continue to fight in the grimdark future!
Foodstuffs of the Imperium[edit]
The range of Imperial foodstuffs is downright mind-boggling considering how vast the Imperium is. Each world will have local foodstuffs, but certain foods and drinks span the entire galaxy. Most of the food is produced on Imperial Agri-worlds, which must be specifically located near their star and meet stringent tolerances set by the Mechanicum. These worlds food production, like almost all of the rest of the Imperium, are known for choosing quantity over quality. The worlds have to be covered in new nitrogen and phosphorous dumps from fliers to renew the soil, the weather is highly controlled, and after generations the world finally can produce no more food and is left as a toxic Death world. Most of the food produced is the standards we all know: wheat, corn, vegetables, fruits, etc. However, once harvested it is blasted with vitamins and preservatives to make sure it keeps till it makes it to the worlds who need it and processed so that it can be used almost anywhere, rendering the taste quite artificial. Another Imperial staple is corpse-starch or Soylent Viridians, which is made from green algae growing on decomposing materials (human corpses, dead animals, rotting plants, etc.) and is a nearly flavorless paste. Other sources of food include ambull (a giant burrowing insect), Grox meat (lobotomized giant reptiles that are used to make burgers), and amino-porridge (eaten by Space Marines, shows how important it is to eat your Wheaties every day).
Foods of the Foul Xenos[edit]
Xenos delicacies are far less well recognized than the Imperium's fare. Eldar food is apparently fairly close to what humans eat, though tastes very exotic and can be quite spicy. Dark Eldar have some of the most extreme diets, eating anything from still beating hearts to a coven of Haemonculi drinking the slurry that was one of their former colleagues with crazy straws. The Tyranids eat literally anything that is alive, though certain subspecies can be oddly picky (Malanthropes pick through to eat the choice pieces for new DNA, while Pyrovores will eat anything, including rocks). Tau food isn't discussed much, but must include a good bit of carbs to help fuel their troops. Necrons don't need to eat at all, so the Flayed Ones' attempts to drink blood and Zandrekh's food for prisoners are the oddities rather than the norms. Orks mainly eat squigs and other varieties of Orkoid Fungal lifeforms, and sometimes will eat things only imaginable to them, and occasionally they'll eat things only imaginable to an Ork with a particularly strong stomach. Orks & Grots also produce fungus beer which is somewhat explosive and can be used as fuel.
Miscellaneous[edit]
- Deep underground there is a form of baking involving spores: Fern spores, mushroom spores, and moss spores a like are all collected and with the combination of crystal clear cave waters make a magnificent flour. This "spore" flour is made to make numerous chewy, fluffy, delicious loaves of "highly" leavened baked Breads and Rolls.
- The Elemental Plane of food is often used to teach children about "dying from success" and Moderation as both people and animals have been known to willingly eat themselves to obesity and dysfunction when exposed to it.
- Minotaur Cheese: Often initially viewed with cringes. Minotaur cheese is some of the finest quality "cow" cheese known to both Humans, Centaurs, and very few lucky Dwarves. Minotaurs take immense pride in their womens' cheese and happily sell it to Humans, Centaurs and the odd Elf or Changeling. The Minotaurs themselves don't touch the stuff.
- The Cheese made by subterranean Dwarves is as varied, flavorful, and delicious as it is suspicious to non-subterranean beings. Rat cheese is often said to be the sharpest and although likened to processed cheese. Dire Wombats simply produce the MOST cheese. Even if it's bland, it has a slight pleasant sweet taste, is quite filling and is actually chewy. Aardvark cheese is very brittle, the milk itself is better used for creams or yogurt due to the creature's taste for underground fruit. It's much sweeter than wombat and pleasantly sour. Mole cheese is often smoked: it's firm, keeps well, and has a very pleasant earthy aroma as it ages as opposed to stinking to high heaven. Cheap imported Dwarven cheese is usually either humongous wheels of smoked wombat cheese or individual smaller sharp wheels of Dire Rat cheese.
- Horse cheese is usually made only by Orcs. It's sharper, a little bitter, and very high in lactose. Often only enjoyed by the Orcs themselves, a few human tribes, and Dwarven cheese fanciers. They make excellent cream cheeses however and if the Orcs made bread it would go great on toast.
- Dungeon cheese is the "mysterious" cheese often found in dungeon storage rooms: it is more often than not smoked Rat, Horse, or Cow cheese.. and it can be quite delicious and a welcome change from dried vegetables and monster meat. If Adventuring parties have any Bread on them: Dungeon Rarebit can be QUITE the little treat.
- As important as bread is: Humans, Dwarves, Centaurs, and Giants are often surprised to find out the a large portion of other species/races cannot actually consume gluten or for that matter bread.
- Dwarven and Centaur baking is often celebrated as the best baking in the world. Both species were initially taught baking by humans and both completely stepped it up to 11. Humans even buy more loaves of Bread from Centaurs than they make themselves.