Kanak Skull Takers
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
- – Robert E. Howard, author of Conan
Kanak is a lovely little planet, wracked with boiling veins of molten-hot magma that will sear your skin off before you can say "convection".
Its occupants are, as one would expect, tough as three day-old steaks. They are barbaric, tattoo-covered maniacs who slaughter their enemies and take their heads in the name of the Emperor, forming up the bulk of the crazy sons-of-bitches that make up the Kanak Skull Takers. One wonders why they haven't fallen to Khorne yet.
The Imperial Guard (for better or worse) have taken it upon themselves to use the Kanakian's military service as a means to an end of civilising them, hoping that they will take back the more boring and "civilised" approach that such a duty entails back to their home planet, which is kind of a bit like "The Flintstones", but with more inter-tribal warfare and rape. As bad as Commissars have it with the Catachans, they have to whip actual savages into line when they are assigned to Kanakian regiments.
In the German translation of the 3rd Edition Codex they were named the Chanak Skull Takers, because Kanak is close to Kanake, which is a German slur.
Units & Weaponry[edit]
It is noted that the population are so far removed from the rest of the Imperium, that they very closely resemble Ogryn, doubtless meaning that they can discuss Shakespeare with the Platoon's friendly resident Ogryn Bone'Ead while eating pastries and complimenting each other's ritual scars and tattoos. Because they get along like a house on fire, Ogryns are often deployed with Karnak regiments.
They are also known to field Rough Riders, because charging Chaos Space Marines on horse, waving axes about and whooping like native Americans like in old westerns is pretty boss.
These guys hate heavy weaponry and vehicles, instead taking the manly approach and picking up the nearest axe and hitting something very hard in the neck with it. If they had to take a heavy weapon, it would be a Heavy Flamer, mostly because burning shit into dust is awesome in any language.
History[edit]
The Kanak Skulltakers were first mentioned in the 3rd Edition Imperial Guard Codex. You probably shouldn't mention the 5th Edition Imperial Guard codex (and its subsequent removal of Regimental Doctrines like "Warrior Weapons", which allowed for an awesome melee Guard army) or they will be very sad.
Sadly, the most they've appeared since is in the Space Wolves video game DLC, Fall of Kanak, where you play as Chaos and... well it's in the name, you kill and corrupt most of the Kanak Skull Takers and conquer their planet, which then gets reclaimed by the Imperium. Also Necrons of the Atun Dynasty are involved.
Also got stuck on the Dark Imperium-side of the Great Rift.
Modelling[edit]
- Step One: Buy a box of Chaos Marauders. File off Chaos Stars and whathaveyou.
- Step Two: Buy Catachan bitz from your bitz-selling online store of choice, notably arms holding las-pistols and grenades. Ork/Orc bitz can be used too, like the skulls that come on their sprues.
- Step Two-Point-One: For the skulls, alternatively find a place online that does a pack of skulls cheaper than GeeDubs, perhaps MaxMini's skull-bits.
- Step Three: Throw them together.
- Step Four: Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
Now, how's that for a slice of fried gold? Yeah boy!
Gallery[edit]
-
Slap some Chaos Marauders and Catachan Troops together, file off the Chaos Stars and presto! you've got yourselves some Skull Takers. Don't forget some trophy skulls!
-
Official conversion, from an issue of White Dwarf and everything!.
-
Take Chaos Marauder, bedeck in 'Guard bitz, repeat. Paint with warpaint. Do not stare at it too much, you could get pregnant.
