Setting:Harem Knights
The Harem Knights are the result of one of the most epic derails in the recent history of /tg/. What begun as another typical thread of "Wizard takes you to a fantasy world, WAT DO?" quickly took a life of its own after one bold individual, a brave visionary, the first of the Knights, fiercely proclaimed that all he wanted to do was to rub some elf ears. But not without romancing them ears first, of course. What followed then was a thing of beauty, made of epic writefaggotry and, above all, love for all monstergirls.
Welcome to Castle Waifu.
The story so far, more or less
After clicking on a picture of their favorite monster girl that turned to be a magical portal, a group of Fa/tg/uys were teleported to an abandoned castle in the middle of a forest where a wizard was waiting for them. Somehow the wizard got killed and the poor anons soon found themselves trying to survive the winter without food and being used for target practice by the neighboring Elves. Many died, everything was Grimdark as fuck and, right when all hope was lost, a refugee group of cat girls Felim bumped into our heroes and took pity of them. Turns out Humans in this fantasy world were a bunch of xenophobic assholes, so when the Fa/tg/uys, grateful to their saviors, offered to share the castle with the catfolk, they couldn't believe it and most of them took the offer, happy to have a place to call their own.
But things were not well in the nascent land of Teegee, for still many Fa/tg/uys and Felim were given the cheapest hedgehog costume in the world (read: shot full of arrows) by the Elven assholes. The Council of DMs, an improvised consultative body made to organize the different groups of anons back during the early days, held a meeting with everybody present to discuss the Elven problem. It was then were our valiant Gavran stood up to the more prudent voices and announced that the only thing that mattered to him was to rub some elf ears. The Harem Knights were born that very night, an elite group of warriors interested only in glory and waifus. The combined forces of Teegee launched a successful attack against the Elven village responsible from the deaths of their friends. Apparently Elves are a bunch of misogynistic assholes who consider their females nothing more than property. After the Fa/tg/uys liberated the Elven women, many chose to leave the village and move to the castle, which by then was already being called Castle Waifu.
Soon the other monster races in that world took notice of Teegee and how everyone was welcomed to Castle Waifu. Migrants arrived, businesses were open and more waifus were romanticized. Unfortunately, the Human realms also took an interest in TeeGee: there were spies, assassination attempts and many other shenanigans were our adventuring Knights were involved. Fa/tg/uys began trying to bring the industrial revolution to this world by making large quantities of gunpowder, creating a primitive printing press and many other things that somehow involved a very unfortunate incident with an automatic shovel launcher. It was a time of high adventure (the Teegee nation is mainly funded by dungeon crawling), prosperity and interspecies erotica.
Then the Orks came, stormed Castle Waifu, ravaged the place and they were about to kill the surviving inhabitants where the Ork females turned on their males because, if so many females of so very different species were willing to sacrifice their lives for the anons it must then mean that they were the Alpha males to end all Alpha males and not joining their tribe and mating with them would be an unforgivable mistake. Many brave defenders and their waifus died that night, but then we learned that the Elves Realms were behind the Ork attack, wanting to know what our defenses were in order to retaliate for our attack to their village. What a bunch of assholes.
What'll happen next? That's for writefags to decide, it's not like there is an actual timeline or anything here, really, some say all of this happened over the span of five years, others say that a decade. We don't care, actually, as long as it's fun and has waifus in it.
Fun facts
- Teegee uses the Elder Scrolls calendar.
- The Harem Knights have their own drinking song composed by Sir Fearghaile.
- 'That Guy' is the worst insult in the Teegee Cant.
- The Felim worship the Nine Divines, who may or may not be taking an active role in the world.
Notable characters
- Sir Artorias, Knight Sergeant: A warrior of renown, he attributes his success to the enchantments in his gear and the aid of his four waifus, Bethany, Karrigan, Melena, and Prescilla.
- Sir Dustyn Howle: Founder and leader of the Order of Blades, a group of knights that specialize in espionage and unconventional warfare.
- Sir Antoine, Schrodinger's Knight: A Knight in the Order of Blades, so titled because if you're not looking directly at him, you can never tell if he's there or not.
- Engineer Fatwelder: Metalworker and armor smith, attempting to create old realm power tools and other technologies, using magic where unable to replicate mundane equivalents.
- Sir Fearghaile: Captain of the Dragoons and Diplomat extraordinaire. Typically accompanied by his Felim companion, Kikki.
- Kikkirin "The Flash": Kikki for short. Companion of Fearghaile and expert in daggers. While her relation to Lem has never been confirmed by either of them, pretty much everyone assumes she's his waifu.
- Sir Perrin, Banner Bearer of the Dragoons: Felim Lieutenant and second in command of the Dragoons. Sees to the cavalry unit while Sir Fearghaile and Kikki are away on diplomatic missions.
- Sir Gavran Earstroker: it was his rallying cry for Elven ears to rub that set all this madness in motion and convinced the other Fa/tg/uys to retaliate against the Elves.
- Sir GearHeart, The Wanderer: An adventurer who wants to chronicle the species and history of the new world.
- Sir Giovanni: Captain of the Castle Waifu Guard and founder of the Harem Knights order.
- Sir Kasai: Guardsman of Castle Waifu and noted Slaver Hunter.
- Harbinger, The Mortician:A rather detached librarian, necromancer, and medic. Vivisected an elf in the battle. Has two elven waifus, Eryana and Aryana, and Helbrey, a salamander. He got his name when he ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL of several undead while battling a lich.
- Reginald, the Mountain: A seven foot tall giant of a man, wielding a maul known as the Boulder. Has a ghostly waifu.
- Vincent, The Cook: With out a doubt the most powerful man in Castle Waifu. He is responsible for feeding those who reside in Castle Waifu.
- Sir Iris: A noble soul, who made but one fateful mistake; to gaze lovingly into the eyes of his waifu. Who was a Gorgon.
- Ahelub, the Serridian Merchant: A spy in the service of Caliph of Serrid (May the cleft of his buttocks never itch). Killed by a knight known as Dythier as he attempted to send his report by falcon.
- Sir Virgil: Founder and leader of the Merchant Guard. They guard merchants.
Races
- Angels
- Batpeople
- Demons
- Dragons
- Dryders/Spiderpeople
- Dwarves
- Elves
- Felim/Catpeople
- Fey
- Ghosts
- Gnomes
- Goblins
- Harpies
- Holstaurus/Cowpeople
- Kanin/Dogpeople
- High Orcs, Savage Orcs, and Orks
- Lamia
- Mantis
The Calendar
Morning Star: 31 days Sun’s Dawn: 28 days (29 on a leap year) First Seed: 31 days Rain’s Hand: 30 days Second Seed: 31 days Midyear: 30 days Sun’s Height: 31 days Last Seed: 31 days Hearthfire: 30 days Frostfall: 31 days Sun’s Dusk: 30 days Evening Star: 31 days
Holidays
- Day of Founding/Union: 19th of Sun’s Height
Anniversary of the day the Harem Knights were founded. Celebrated with a festival. Those with a family attend it together, and those alone seek out companionship.
- Day of Arrival: 9th of Hearthfire
Anniversary of the day that the Outrealmers were summoned to the world.
- Day of Salvation: 6th of Frostfall
Anniversary of the day the Outrealmers were found by the Felim, and subsequently saved. Celebrated with a feast. Like Xmas