Basilisk

From 2d4chan
Jump to navigation Jump to search

A Basilisk is a mythological creature, always described as reptilian and deadly. Its name comes from Greek phrase for "little king," and was considered to be lord of all serpents. The first recorded mention of a basilisk described it as a snake about twelve fingers long (6"-24" long, depending on how you count), and it was so venomous that it would kill plants just by passing by, and it would kill you just by looking at you. You were supposed to kill it with weasel musk -- I'm not joking.

The modern-day "green basilisk" or "plumed basilisk" is a little lizard that can run across the surface of water like wire-fu ninjas do, or Remo Williams in that movie "American Ninja."

Rejoice not thou, whole Philistia, that the rod of him that struck thee is broken in pieces:
for out of the root of the serpent shall come forth a basilisk, and his seed shall swallow the bird.
-Isiah 14:29

Because the legendary basilisk was SO FUCKING DEADLY, it was of course used in fantasy games and used as a name for whatever vehicle people wanted their enemies to be pants-shitting scared of. Nobody's gonna respect you if your wartitan is called "lupis usagi" or a "battle-pig." Well, unless it was piloted by Orks, those guys can make anything look nasty.

Dungeons & Dragons

Original D&D "Basic" edition
Move: 60 feet/turn HitDice: 6+1 ArmorClass: 4 TreasureType: F Alignment: neutral Attacks: 1 bite Damage: d10
A rather small reptilian monster, unintelligent, that turns creatures to stone by its glance or its touch. Saving throws applicable. It can be viewed in a mirror without harm. If it sees its own eyes in a mirror it must make a saving throw or be turned to stone!
D&D 3.5 edition
Medium Magical Beast, 6d10+12 HD, -1 Initiative, 20' speed, AC 16 (-1 Dex, +7 natural), Attacks: +6/+8, bite (1d8+3), SAtks: Petrifying Gaze (range 30', save Fort+Cha DC13 or turn to stone), SDef: Darkvision, low-light vision, Saves: +9 Fort +4 Ref +3 Will, S15 D8 Cn15 I2 W12 Ch12, Skills: +7 Listen +7 Spot +4 Hide in dessert, Feats: Alertness, Blindfight, Great Fort, Env: warn desserts, #encoutnered: 1 or 3-6, ChallengeRating: 5, Alignment: neutral.
A basilisk relies on its gaze attack, biting only when opponents come within reach. Though it has eight legs, its slow metabolism renders it relatively sluggish, so it does not expend energy unnecessarily. Intruders who flee a basilisk rather than fight can expect, at best, a halfhearted pursuit. These creatures tend to spend most of their time lying in wait for prey, which includes small mammals, birds, reptiles, and similar creatures.

Basilisk Images

A "basilisk image" or "medusa phrase" is something that will crash a human brain. Since it's the "in" thing to think of brains/minds as deterministic machines like computers, the idea of "mindworms" and brain hacking gets kicked around. The term originated from Dave Langford's short story "BLIT", which can be found online at http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/blit.htm

Viewing a basilisk image will get your visual/perceptive cortex to parse an idea so fucked up that it puts the viewer into a catatonic state. These weapons are kept secret for obvious reasons -- depending on your campaign setting, viewing a thumbnail or a selection of a basilisk image could have no effect whatsoever, or it could cause someone to go into seizures.

See Also: Neal Stephenson's novel "Snow Crash," and urban legends about the Brown Note, Monty Python sketch about the funniest/deadliest joke in the world.

Warhammer 40,000

It's almost as fuckawesome as the Xbawks hueg killdozer

The Basilisk is the redoubtable artillery piece of the Imperial Guard.

In other words it's a cardboard tank with a fuckhuge gun and some dudes driving it. Thats It.

And if they had bayonets they would be fuckawesome.

Was it mentioned that they have the second longest range of any weapon in the game (10 feet direct fire, 20 feet indirect guess-fire)? The ability to lob a shell that can effectively instagib an entire squad a table or two away is simply astounding (you could kill people playing Fantasy on the other table), not to mention utterly pointless in a table-top wargame. However, if you scale it up to to its full size, you would find that it has ridiculously short range for an artillery cannon. If its range was more realistic, you would probably be able to kill people playing Fantasy at the opposite end of the street. And with the new Codex, you're able to have 9 of these shelltossers. Which basically lets you kill everything and turn it into dead shit... as long as it is 36 inches away from you (indirect minimum range is 36). It will also scare your opponent shitless. Mainly because he will think he's in an Apocalypse game. Of course with the guard.. when AREN'T you in an Apocalypse game? Nine basilisks can quite rapidly turn a map into a moonscape, creating 54-63 pie plates over the course of an ideal 6-7 turn match. In an actual Apocalypse game, don't be surprised if you are met with thirty or more of these, and believe us when we say that when thirty basilisks start firing at you, your sky is going to start shattering.

Why A Basilisk is The Best Place To Be In The Whole Goddamn Imperium

  • All the commissars(save one) are also at the front lines, seeing as that is where the business of executing cowards is most wanting.
  • You're probably in a depopulated area far away from Inquisitorial interest.
  • If your regiment is commanded by Creed, you're one of a select few that knows how it is possible to deploy a dozen pieces of mobile artillery inside an impenetrable Ork stronghold.
  • You can probably even get away with complaining about the High Lords of Terra and their general not giving a shit, seeing as there are no senior officers, no Inquisitors, and no fucking commiss*BLAM*
  • You get to fire a MASSIVE fucking gun and blow shit up.
  • You're not at risk of being blown up when your commander tells the artillery to shoot right in front of his own troops.
  • Canon says you're going to go deaf, but whatever right? Hearing problems are the least grimdark thing in the entire setting.
  • Not just anybody can drive one of these, therefore you are not as expendable as other Guardsmen, and Commissars are less likely to shoot you if you start fleeing (which is frankly what you SHOULD do if the enemy comes close to your artillery).

Notable Basilisks

  • Fluffy- The personal attack vehicle/pet of Commissar Dan. Being the retard that he is, he uses the thing as a front line assault tank instead of a full-time artillery piece.
  • Basilisk Magnus- A variant of the Basilisk arty-piece fielded by Vance Motherfucking Stubbs, it's like a regular basilisk except can strike targets anywhere within the Imperial Dussala prescient base, fires an absurdly powerful Earthshaker shell and has styrofoam for armor. However along with the 100 Baneblades, Stubbs lost the targeting matrix for the thing and so requires a spotter every time it shoots.