The Witcher

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The Witcher is a series of novels written by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski(Of which these books are heavily based on if not plagiarizing the Elric series), but is better known for the series of video games produced by CD Projekt Red (much to his chagrin; he regularly rotates between dismissal of the medium, lamenting the deal he made with them, and entering into litigation). They focus on the life and times of Geralt of Rivia, one of the titular Witchers (alchemically-augmented superhumans tasked to be monster hunters) in a rather dark fantasy setting where fantastical monsters are becoming resurgent and humans are little better than the monsters.

The Setting

Right off the bat. You probably heard something in tune of "The Witcher is a Slavic setting". It is not. It's fairly generic (and deliberately so) ISO Standard European Medieval Fantasy, with monsters taken from D&D manuals, gratitous amounts of Celtic and German thrown into it and generally following all the Western cliches and fantasy tropes. Pretty much all the short stories are Shrek-like parodies of Western fables and the saga reads after certain point like an AAR of your long-running RPG campaign - again, all purposefully so. The only thing that can be vaguely claimed to be "Slavic" is the fact certain characters display various stereotypical behaviours of your rural, reactionary, overly religious and ignorant Pole - which is mocked to no end in the books, especially the misplaced "hurray patriotism". Anyone claiming the setting is "Slavic" apparently never read any of the books or played the games. Add to all that the fact the writer quite vocally shat on actual Slavic fantasy in the 90s and it takes to be delusional to still insist Witcher series is "Slavic".

An important part of the discussion of history in The Witcher universe is that the setting exists in a multiverse; every so often there is a "Conjunction", when universes meet and species cross over between them, and if taken literally then sometimes new universes are born and old ones are destroyed during these (although this could be a fancy way of saying that the species immigrating back and forth cause major changes). Another important aspect is that Fate is a tangable force in this universe and no matter what you do, you can't fight it. Doesn't mean people aren't trying.

Sapkowski's world-building isn't like ASOIAF, with maps and intricate family webs, but is more "it's only relevant as they come up." Continents, cosmology, far-off cultures, and large chunks of history are just blanks, to the point that the author himself refers to fan-created maps in later works. Since originally the setting was just a backdrop to bunch of short stories that were connected by characters, rather than places, geography gets wonky if you start to make a map out of what's known about it. Just like the author, you shouldn't care about it or overthink it, because the physicality of the setting is probably the least important part of it.

The most exposition you get in the series is in some of the excerpts from different in-universe writers, some of whom lived thousands of years after the series, and talk about the Elves and Dwarves as mythical legends (in the later half of the novels, the Elves were implied to have fled the world, not just the Continent, the next chance they got, way after the series ended, realizing that they would never be able to reclaim their glory days.)

The area that almost all stories take place in is simply known as "The Continent" (there is also "The Western Continent" in a few stories, discovered by a boy who miraculously survived having met Cirri), and was native originally only to gnomes and dwarves. After the first Conjunction both elves (called Aen Seidhe) and humans arrived from another worlds, but still not to the Continent itself. Shortly after, elves arrived from parts unknown in boats and established kingdoms, while having regular wars with dwarves (considering them pests in the promised land).

Few centuries later, humans reached the Continent in their own boats. They spread out rapidly, initially living in peace with the elves and learning magic, along with other bits, from them. However the human territories aggressively pushed borders as the human breeding outpaced that of the elves, resulting in more and more wars, massacres, and forced removal of elves from their own cities. Eventually the elven youth began to fight back, but that only lead to further disaster: most of elven cities got destroyed in the process, while majority of fertile elves dying in a war they couldn't win from the start; The elven royalty reached out to magic users, who were the only humans who had benefited from their shared past and tried to establish relations, but the ignorant human masses killed an elf princess and her human husband which resulted in another elf/human war. The elves, being on their last leg already, were beaten soundly, with their last kingdoms taken over and souring most elves on humanity forever. Some run to the wild, where they are barely holding, some tried to integrate in human lands, where they are mostly persecuted.

From that point onward, the Continent was one way or another dominated by humans, who filled all corners of it, fought their own wars, rebellions and never forgetting to kick some non-humans down for nothing else than own amusement. There are still some hold-outs controlled one way or another by non-humans, like Brokilon, a forest full of dryads or Mahakam, a mountrain range with quasi-state of dwarves, but other than that, it's human kingdoms in all directions.

The events of the books happen some 400 years later, in the midst of what's called Northern Wars. The Northern Kingdoms are a motley collection of your-standard European Fantasy Kingdoms, separated from the Nilfgaardian Empire by the Yoruga River (Think Danube); the only thing they really have in common is their independence from Nilfgaard. They are your standard assortment of minor duchies, established (and incest-filled) Kingdoms, and even free cities and an Oxford expy; furthest North, at the very tip of the "known" world are the not!Russia and not!Nords kingdoms along the frozen Gulf of Praxeda, who play an important role in stopping the Nilfgaardians.

Similarly, the Nilfgaardian empire is itself pretty varied. On paper, it's pretty much a Roman Expy, but also has hints and signs of Soviet "we're all technically equal under the Imperator" policies. Only the citizens who were actually born and raised in Nilfgaard are "Nilfgaardians," and everyone else is just a vassal. Most notable of these vassal states is Cintra, a Kingdom south of the Yoruga whose occupation sets off the events of the series, and the Duchy of Touissant, a Disneyfied version of France filled with noble Questing Knights, free love, and utter loyalty to the Duchess.

Races

Like most dark fantasy settings, the Witcher includes your standard Fantasy Races with a gritty, grimdark twist. These include

• Humans - Same as every other fantasy setting: Mundane humans, superstitious and with a boner for killing (or raping) things that aren't human. Like the elves, they came to this world via the Conjunction, although most humans are pretty ignorant of their history, knowing only as much as "there's us, the guys from the other kingdom next over, the bad guys over the horizon, and all the stunties/knife-ears." They are further subdivided into:
  • Nordlings - All the not!Europeans north of the Yoruga; their homeland is to the west somewhere, but they have all but forgotten where exactly.
  • Nilfgaardians - Citizens and vassals of the Nilfgaardian Empire. Nilfgaardians from the city of the same name consider themselves to be above everyone else, but are more traders than soldiers, like the Imperials from TES. Notable for being slightly-not-as-racist as the other humans, just imperialist, if you care about such distinctions. Their culture was actually built from a mixing of Elves and Humans, and the Nilfgaardian language is related to Elder Speech. They invaded the Northern Kingdoms not for land, but to destroy their economy and make them reliant on Nilfgaardian exports. It was just the cherry-on-top that Imperator Emreis sent most of his enemies to the grinder.
  • Zerrikanians - A matriarchic people east of the setting, past the desert and mountains. They worship Dragons and are led by a HIgh Priestess. Other than this, not much is known about them, which led to the Games and TV show expanding their lore. Apparently, they even have their own School of Witchers, the School of the Manticore.

The following, though human, are genetically alchemically/magically-enhanced and are basically treated by the rest of Humanity as basically another species:

• Witchers - Monster-hunters-for-hire. Exclusively male, raised from abandoned orphans, and trained in secret schools, they are very long-lived and possess a wide variety of skills. They are alchemically-augmented and can do basic magic in the form of Signs (think hand signs from Naruto. No, seriously) . For a more in-depth look, check this page.
  • In the original Polish, Sapkowski calls them "wiedźmin" which is just how Sapkowski wrote the male-form of "Witch". Why is it important? Because "Witcher" makes them sound like Witch Hunters, which they arent, they're more like Witches but Manly. They make use of herbs, potions, and Signs (very simple magic); monster hunting is their most common task, but they're also well-versed enough in lore to break curses, treat others, and be able to discern which non-humans are a threat and which aren't; the games also imply Elven and even female Witchers exist, but these would be the prerogative of individual schools, not of the entire profession. Unlike Sorcerers, they practice a more down-to-earth form of magic, are not interested in politics, and they make their services available to anyone who can pay. Also like Witches, they're often the target of persecution and vicious rumors. Just like in real-life, pamphlets were spread around to convince the common folk that Witchers were their enemy and should be eradicated, and is the reason why many schools (Like Geralt's Kaer Morhen) are either extinct or going extinct. This is also why there are so many alternate translations (Hexers, Warlock, Witchman), but because Geralt doesn't really do a lot of magic but does a lot of killing, the game translation of "Witcher" stuck and became canon.
• Sorcerers/Sorceress - Just like Psykers, Mages are the un/fortunate few who are born with innate magical power ("Chaos"). Those who are untrained are called Sources, and unless properly trained to harness their powers, they will eventually end up insane or worse. They can draw upon the elements and they are drawn to places where there is an abundance of natural magic (big deal, so are cats). They are all trained in magical schools, like Hogwarts and Oxford Aretuza and Ban Ard, where they get into all sorts of shady, boarding school hijinks like sex, studying dusty tomes, sex, politicking, and of course, sex.
  • Because Mages are often assigned to Nobility as advisors, they are often trained in matters of court. Of course, with all their magical power, long lives, and sterility, they get bored really quickly, and end up manipulating the nobles they're supposed to be serving. In order to maintain their power and influence, they formed the Brotherhood of Sorcerers, so that they could organize themselves and manage their affairs. Of course, putting a whole bunch of nerds in one room and expecting them to agree is pretty much impossible, and they all ended up killing themselves in a magic war after they couldn't figure out who they should support, Nilfgaard or the Northern Kingdoms. In response, all the surviving female Sorceresses made their own secret club, because they figured that they could do a better job than the men even though the Brotherhood had both men and women on board. Just like Witchers, mages are often *ehem*enhanced so they can better manipulate service their liege.
  • Pretty much all of the Mages suck, which is why the few mages that aren't are such outliers. Ever since the Brotherhood/Lodge was founded, the Mages have politicked and manipulated behind the scenes. Centuries of being alive and living in luxury in the courts of local Nobles mean that many of them have delusions of grandeur and see the common folk as nothing more than scum.
  • Because of this, in the pseudo-Communist Nilfgaardian Empire, Mages must be sanctioned by the State and no, it's not a choice, much like a certain other Imperium. Mages are so tightly-regulated that when the Nilfgaardian sorceress attended the first meeting of the Lodge, she felt the Northern Mages were too ostentatious by using magic to enhance their appearance, but couldn't help but feel envious that they had the freedom to do so. In the show, a Mage who defects to Nilfgaard has more freedom to study Elf archeology, but this freedom is only guarantees for as long as he is useful.
• Elves - Split between two extant groups, the Aen Seidhe (Hill People) and Aen Elle (Alder People). For some dumb reason, both male and female Elves are only fertile in their youth, but female elves can get pregnant from human male at any time, which leads to a whole lot of resentment towards mixed-offspring.
  • The Aen Seidhe are the Elves who live on the Continent, and are your standard wood elf hippies. By the time of the books, they have been whittled down by war and only remain in either ghettos or hidden enclaves. They sought to reclaim one of their sacred places, Dol Blathana, by joining forces with the Nilfgaardians, fighting a guerilla war as the Scoiae..Scoit...fuck it, the Squirrels, they're more badass than it sounds.
  • The Aen Elle are their "Dark Elf" counterparts, who during the last Conjunction, invaded another world and made it their own. They are at war with and have blood-grudge towards Unicorns of all things, because of an envy towards the Unicorns' natural power to travel through worlds, a power the Aen Elle lost during the First Conjunction. They are notable for looking like High Elves, but their kingdom is literally built upon the bodies of captured human slaves.

• Unicorns - Sentient horned horses that travel the multiverse in herds. They are inherently magical and can sense the "chaos" that resides within magic users; they can also sense evil, and avoid it, which is why some people believe only virgins can catch them. They were the original inhabitants of the world that the Aen Elle now inhabit, which led to a war between the two races. They are telepathic creatures, and even though they are sentient and magical creatures, are not above getting it on with mundane horses.

• Dwarves - One of the two races native to the Continent. They are stocky, short, and vulgar, but are an honorable people. They make excellent traders and soldiers, and many make their home throughout the Northern kingdoms. They are strong and robust, and can pull a cart themselves if they don't have beasts of burden. They have one enclave, the "Kingdom of Mahakam," which is home to both Dwarfs and Gnomes. The kingdom itself is vassal to the human kingdom of Temeria, and although they have a dwarf King, most power is concentrated with clan elders. The Dwarves of Mahakam prefer to stay out of human affairs, and are not afraid to flood their mines and stop the export of Mahakam steel should anyone try to interfere with their affairs. Outside of Mahakam, however, the Dwarves are sorely aware of their second-class status, and are often the target of pogroms. One such pogrom targeting the Dwarves resulted in Geralt's own death when he intervened on behalf of his friends. Dwarf women are also bearded, which is why most humans would rather castrate themselves then bed one, but doesn't stop Dwarf men from being very protective of them (and why most Dwarf women stay in Mahakam).

• Gnomes - The other race native to the Continent. They are friendly, intelligent, and are otherwise the polar opposite of dwarves. They are distinguished by their long noses, and though they don't have the long beards of dwarves, they tend to keep theirs short or shave it off entirely. They are excellent craftsmen, and can make enchanted swords, the gwyhyr.

• Vampires - Vampires, like most of the monsters in the Witcher, were a byproduct of the rampant chaos magic caused by the Conjunction. There are many Vampires seen in the series, like Bruxas and Alps, all of which feed on blood and require Witchers to dispatch. But there are exceptions: Higher Vampires, like Elves and Humans, come from another world rather than being mutants, and consider themselves to be perfect beings. so far above humans that they don't really see them as people. They have none of the weaknesses featured in superstitious folklore, and can recover from being decapitated, staked, and buried, it just takes a really long time to recover, and by then, most of the people that attacked them would probably be dead anyway. Higher Vampires don't need blood to survive, treating blood more like alcohol, and can hide their presence from others. Geralt, badass though he is, has no clue on how to kill Higher Vampires, mostly because they're so rare.

Cast

• Geralt of Rivia - Our main protagonist and one of the last Witchers, a race of alchemically augmented mage-warriors. He's a fairly no-nonsense guy though he's very much struggling to keep the inhumanly impassive perspective in check.

• Ciri - Geralt's sorta-adopted daughter, proclaimed his Destiny because of a tradition called the "Rule of Surprise" (A tradition in which one person does a service for another, and the recipient must repay this favor through a means that satisfies intentionally-vague criteria). She turns out to be the result of generations-long selective breeding by both Elves and Mages, in an attempt to breed someone with the power to jump through dimensions and alternate-realities, Rick and Morty-style. Of course, Geralt's actions and invoking the Rule of Surprise pretty much upends everyone's plans because the Rule of Surprise is so primal, Tzeentch Destiny rewrites her fate to be tied with his. After her parents died at sea and few years later her grandmother killed herself rather than surrender to Nilfgaardians knocking to the Cintran gates, Ciri still managed to wander into Geralt's life, and so he decides to raise her...as a mini-him. This is quickly stopped and she's sent to a proper school to learn. It's pretty clear that she's far more important than she seems as her unnatural height and uncontrolled bouts of magical power indicate that she might have some inhuman blood insider her. You’ll probably start to dislike her in the later books for being a huge fucking Mary Sue, with as many new skills and abilities as the moment requires. According to the games, she’s also been to the world of Cyberpunk while trying to escape pursuers (made possible by the act that CD Projekt RED works on both franchises).
  • When we say Mary Sue, we really do mean it, but that's also the point of the entire series. The games and the tv show doesn't do it justice, but the entire point of the books is that Ciri isn't just some "Child of Surprise," but is literally the child of Destiny. As mentioned above, Fate is a big theme in the series, and the more you try to fight your fate, or try to avoid it, the more drastic the steps the Universe takes to "correct" it. She has literal plot armor, and everyone knows it. And yet everyone, from Cirri's grandmother to the Emperor to Cirri herself, tries to change Cirri's destiny, or use her powers for their own gain, literally trying to subvert fate for their own ends. This ends with disastrous results for pretty much anyone who gets involved.

• Dandelion - Traveling bard and one of Geralt's few genuine friends. He's something of a complete idiot and a coward, but he's also the friendliest folks around and is always looking for material for his ballads. He's something of a nuisance, but he's also one of the most well-traveled people around.

• Yennefer of Vengerberg - The closest thing Geralt has to a formal relationship and the closest thing that Ciri has to a mother, though she's totally a bitch at times. She's a sorceress who's manipulative but also very much despises her condition of infertility (a result of becoming a sorcerer) and this is one of the great points of contention between the two of them.
  • Probably the most fucked up character in the TV show, where they make her a selfish bitch who wants nothing more than to gain her powers back (which she never lost in the books), even if she has to sell Cirri to do so. In the books, Yen starts out hating Cirri, because she assumed Geralt was raising Cirri to "replace" her, which is kinda fucked up (but this is, after all, fantasy!Europe). This gets sorted out when Mother Nenneke, Priestess, teacher, and the closest-thing Geralt has to a Mom, calls her out on her jealous bullshit and forces her to acknowledge Cirri as Geralt's daughter. Cue training montage, and she eventually grows to accept Cirri as her daughter, as well.

• Triss Merigold - Sorceress with a teenage-like romantic obsession for Geralt that he doesn't share. She doesn't have too much presence as a character in the books, then she jumps to being a main character in the videogames when she takes advantage of Geralt's amnesia and Yennefer's absence to fulfill her fantasy of being the witcher's main lover. She may remain as such even when he recovers his memory. Aside from that dick move, she is very kind and light-hearted, and remarkably, she is one of the few sorceresses that doesn't continuously behave like a bitch.

• Emhyr var Emhreis- the Emperor of Nilfgaard, which is essentially a superpower based mostly off of Rome, though their aesthetic is more medieval German (as far as "evil empires" go, though, it's rather morally grey). He is known for being a cold, ruthless and pragmatic son of a bitch who will stop at nothing until the continent knows only the glory of Nilfgaard and all other kingdoms and states are subjected underneath the Golden Sun (at least, on paper, but more on that later). Ciri is his biological daughter, and he desires her to continue his line, as he's head of a prophecy that states that her bloodline will eventually control the world. Has a series of long-winded titles, including the ridiculousAWESOME title of "The White Flame who dances on the graves of his foes", because when he regained his title, he had all of his enemies dug up, excommunicated, and then had their gravestones used to pave his ballroom. Petty? Yes. Historically accurate? Some popes have put literal corpses of their predecessors on trial.
  • Emhyr shows a lot of genre-savviness for an "Evil Emperor" character. As mentioned, he lost his throne before scheming his way back to the top. While all Nilfgaardians are, on paper, loyal to the Emperor and the Empire, there are still quite a few factions with their own agendas, like old War Hawks desperate for glory, Young officers looking to replace said Hawks and are true Nilfgaardian supremacists idealists, Merchants wanting to expand their influence, and the many vassal states who are only loyal on paper. Over the course of the books, we learn that the Nilfgaardian invasion was less of an actual war, but a convenient way for Emhyr to rid himself off troublesome factions, cause enough chaos to smoke Ciri out, and to cripple the Northern economy and make them reliant on Nilfgaardian goods. Not only does the invasion cost him nothing, but he also knows when to cut his losses and realize when some plans are not worth pursuing.
  • His plan to fuck his own daughter is something he has been plotting to do for decades, and was obvious enough about it to tip off Ciri's mother/his wife. Thing is, he's not the sickest fuck in the series, that goes to....

• Vilgefortz of Roggeveen - one of the most prominent sorcerers in the North and the main bad guy from the books. He is the mastermind behind grand majority of the plot happening, either by direct action or manipulating various parties to do his biddings - including emperor Emhyr, who's drive for conquest and capture of Ciri came from Vilgefortz talking non-stop about the prophecy to him. Also, he's extremely vain and sadistic motherfucker, who won't be pleased until everyone venerates him like a God, with the capital G. Once his grand scheme backfires, he's reduced to be a caricatural evil lord struck in a ruin castle, but the cards he dealt to everyone remain in play for next three books and he doesn't stop being any less dangerous for Geralt and Ciri personally.
  • Vilgefortz's main hideout is the Continent-equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle, a badass castle that drags ships to their destruction being based on the Witcher's equivalent of ley lines. His plans for Cirri make Emhyr's look tame and would make Honsou proud.

• Leo Bonhart - probably the most colourful Heavy from all of the books. A fabled bounty hunter and a mercenary, who despite getting in years and looking like starving to death is one of the most dangerous, yet regular people present in the books. How dangerous? He killed three witchers throughout his life, all from different schools, too, so you know this guy gets around. His main drive is the fun he has from killing. The running joke is that the character is your high-level murderhobo, but as seen from perspective of people in-universe.

• Eredin- the elven King of the Wild Hunt (a group of supertall and buff elves in scary black armor from another plane, the Aen Elle,), and widely considered to be THE main antagonist of the games. He lead a genocide of the human population of his home planet, poisoned his old king with a spiked aphrodisiac, and when a mystical force known as the White Frost (either an encroaching Ice Age or the heat death of the universe) began to threaten his world, he started to hunt Ciri in order to use her to invade her world.

• Vesemir- Geralt's mentor and the closest thing he has to a father. He is a witcher with roughly four centuries of experience under his belt and was the sole survivor of an assault on the Witcher stronghold at Kaer Morhen. (Geralt and the few other witchers were away on contracts when this happened)

• Nenneke- the head priestess in the temple of Melitele in Ellander. If Vesemir is father figure to Geralt, she's the mother. Which makes her complete absence in the games weird, to say the least. One of the few religious figures in the entire verse that seems to be a genuinely good person, with no strings attatched.

• Radovid- Literal nobody in the books, introduced in one of the final pages of the last one, but turned into ever increasing evil force in the games thanks to how he is introduced. At first Prince and then King of Redania, the Poland-Lithuania-style country. Stylized as Radovid V the Stern, he starts off as alright-ish and eventually becomes a real fucking prick by the point of the third game, ordering the extermination of all magic-users due to Philipa and her Lodge of Sorceresses backstabbing him and murdering his father, as well as ordering the suppression of non-humans. Despite his ruthlessness and "madness", he is also shown to be a very clever tactician and strategist.

• Sigismund Dijkstra- Think Winston Churchill if he was a medieval Polish intelligence official. Gruff, fairly obese, and intensely patriotic to Redania, he believes in using methods other than war to achieve the state's aim, but he won't hesitate to bash in a motherfucker's skull if it means Redania remains safe. Had to flee his country when Philipa sent assassins after him and ended up becoming the head of a gang in the free city of Novigrad, while still secretly retaining his loyalty to his homeland.
  • They made him a ripped old man in the TV series, which is an absolute shame for fa/tg/uy representation everywhere. Who tf gives a shit about half-indian Yenn when they replaced fatman Dijkstra with grandpa fuccboi

• Philipa Eilhart- the "Jewel of Tretegor", and probably the biggest reason why sorceresses and mages are seen in a negative light in the Northern Kingdoms. She is the head of the Lodge, the magical advisor to Redania's king, and a complete and utter cunt. Even Yennefer hates what a stone-cold bitch she is, noting that she is manipulative, power-hungry, cold, and ambitious. Radovid eventually tires of her bullshit and ends up exiling her, but not before putting out her eyes.

• Crach an Craite- the Jarl of Ard Skellig, which is part of the Skellige Isles (essentially comprised of a people who are more or less Gaelic-Norse in culture). He is a steady ally of Geralt's, and noted for being an exceptionally brave and fearsome warrior, even giving witchers pause when facing him. He is a just and fair ruler to the people on his island, and a terrifying opponent to face in a raid, to the point where Nilfgaardian and Northern naval vessels steer far away from the isle, lest they suffer the wrath of the "Wild Sea Boar". Was one of Yenn's many lovers, and assisted her when she washed up on their shores.

• Isengrim Faoiltiarna - The most badass of the Aen Seidhe hippies, his name literally means "Iron Wolf." He was one of the leaders of the Elven Viet Cong, and participated in the coup that eliminated most of the sorcerors on Thanedd. He later joins the Nilfgaardian Army under the promise that they would allow the Elves independence in their sacred homeland of Dol Blathana. As part of this agreement, he headed the Vrihedd Brigade, an army of Elven "freedom fighters" who just so happened to have Triple, S-shaped silver lightning bolts insignias. Whenever the Nilfgaardians needed some light sprinkling of war crimes done, they'd send in the Iron Wolf and his Elves, which also meant they could keep their hands clean and conveniently places the blame on the elves. After the war, he and the rest of the Squirrel's high command are sentenced to death by the Northern Kingdoms for all their war crimes and are given up by both the Elves of Dol Blathana and Nilfgaard. Isengrim, being too much of a badass to die by rope, escapes and flees to Zerikania to start a new life, where he ends up meeting Dijkstra and one of Cirri's pursuers.

• Yarpen Zigrin - Dwarf. Caravaner. Dragon Slayer. Geralt first met Yarpen in the story The Bounds of Reason, where they're on the hunt for a Dragon, with Yarpen claiming to have slain another Dragon once before, though that in itself wasn't much of a feat because the Dragon was a million years old and had dementia. The dragon hunt doesn't go as planned, and Geralt and Yarpen end up on different sides. Blood is shed, and the Dragon, being a level-minded fellow, lets Yarpen and some of the would-be slayers go in exchange for letting him retrieve his young. Yarpen and Geralt meet later on in the main series just before the beginning of the Second Northern War, where the two decide to travel together for a bit. Yarpen, under the employ of the King of Kaedwen, is tasked with delivering supplies to an allied kingdom incognito. That turns out to be a fucking lie, since the King mistrusts all non-humans and so has his men tip-off the Elven Viet Cong Scoia'tael, who proceed to ambush Yarpen to make an example of the humie-lovers, which rightfully pisses everyone off; because it totally makes sense to test your suspected Viet Cong informant by informing the Viet Cong. In spite of the King's betrayal, Yarpen later joins the Mahakam Volunteers, a regiment of right hard bastards that join the Northern Kingdoms in spite of all the human prejudice and the dwarf king telling them not to.

• Zoltan Chivay - The other dwarf Caravaner that Geralt meets in his travels. Zoltan and his company are first seen escorting a group of human refugees, mostly women and children, to safety. Not that any of the ungrateful fucks care enough to treat their protectors with respect, or even thank them once they find their husbands. Geralt and Zoltan hit it off, though, and after some totally no homo traveling through the country, Zoltan gifts Geralt his magical gwyhyr Sihil as a token of friendship. He later joins the Mahakam Volunteers, and the unit distinguishes itself in the final battle by holding the line while the rest of the human army routs: the Mahakam Volunteers, being all dwarves, were placed on the muddy, riverside flank, where the Nilfgaardian cavalry would be bogged down, but the Dwarves wouldn't be able to flee, either. It was Zoltan and his men that killed the Nilfgaardian General, though they had no clue who it was they were shooting at. After the war, the Mahakam Volunteers, along with the rest of the victorious Nordlings, participate in a victory parade, where the people they saved immediately start laughing and throwing shit at them. And even after all the shit the dwarves had done for Humans, it was during a drinking session with Zoltan in a Dwarven pub that Geralt gets acquainted with the business-end of a pitchfork after some humans decide it'd be a nice day for a pogrom.
  • The Mahakam volunteers were very aware that the humans were planning on using them as bait. One of the side characters, a young scribe that Ciri met while at the temple, becomes a friend of the Dwarfs and asks if he can join and fight alongside the Mahakam Volunteers. Zoltan turns him down, because they know that they're going to be placed in the most danger, and it would be a shame if the young man would lose his life fighting with the dorfs.
• Regis - A hermit and apothecary, who also just so happens to be a high vampire, he joins Geralt and crew for the fun of it. As a higher vampire, he is pretty much immortal, with none of the weaknesses of lesser vamps, and being able to recover from pretty much anything. Geralt himself doesn't even realize he's a vampire until much later, because not even his Witcher Medallion can detect his presence. Regis is a teetotaler, drinking neither blood nor alcohol, due to an incident of him "flying under the influence", getting ganked by angry villagers, and having to spend the next half-century thinking about what he's done. Because he's pretty much immortal, and no one except other Vampires can permakill him, Geralt was a bit uneasy on how to deal with Regis once he found out. All of that hyped-up invulnerability means jack shit, however, because during the climactic battle with the big bad, he gets melted down like a candle, which the evil wizard and Geralt both thought is pretty much overkill...but then the games came out, and he reveals that he got better.

The Novels

While there are eight novels in total, they were not released in order of continuity in English. Two of them (The Last Wish and Sword of Destiny) are just a bunch of short stories using the same cast and settings while the rest of them are all focused on a particular central plot, creating the so-called saga. It is all followed by a stand-alone prequel "novel", which is a short story blatantly stretched to 400 pages.

1. The Last Wish: The introduction to the setting, explaining who Geralt is, the world he lives in, and his work. As a collection of stories, there's not much of a greater overarching plot, except for a framing device of Geralt healing in a monastery and recollecting past adventures with various visitors he has.
2. Sword of Destiny: Unlike the previous one, this collection lacks a clear-cut frame, but the stories are more or less in chronological order of events. Geralt meets Ciri for the first time, as a snotty princess, then again, few years later. At least the last two stories of the collection are part of the saga proper, to even know who is who and what's going on. Possibly the most fun witcher-related book.
3. Blood of the Elves: Geralt tries rising Ciri in Kaer Morhen, with predictable results. You also get to meet Triss. Essentially a set up with nothing important or vital happening, but everyone has their moment to play parent for Ciri.
4. A Time of Contempt: Ciri is prepared to be send for a magic training. In the background a massive pile-up of conspiracies eventually implodes, leading to infighting between mages and reassumption of war between Nilfgaard and all the northern kingdoms.
5. Baptism of Fire: Probably the most /tg/ of all of the books. Geralt assembles a party hansa and starts his search for Ciri, who disappeared after the disastrous coup in previous book. On the other side of the world, Ciri is doing her best to survive by joining a pack of thieves. Big political game starts to unfold in the background. Depending on why you picked up the saga, this is the moment when you either drop or start to enjoy it.
6. The Tower of the Swallow: Bad things happen to everyone: The Book. Ciri gets captured by Leo Bonhart, Geralt & co. are still struggling to find her, Nilfgaard is winning the war and whole lot of people die, while politicians and mages are plotting.
7. The Lady of the Lake: The big culmination of the saga. Ciri eventually manages to master her ability, while Geralt finally gets a trail toward her. In the background, North finally starts a counter-offensive, culminating in an all-or-nothing battle for both sides. Skip the final chapter and you've got a servicable ending. Read it and realise you've been trolled into going through seven books.
8. The Season of Storms: A blatant and open cash-grab, written almost 20 years after the whole saga. Would be a decent, 30-something pages long story about Geralt getting his swords back somewhere in the middle of Sword of Destiny. Instead, it's stretched, rolled and tucked into a novel format, all while openly trolling anyone who ever cared about lore.

The Games

CD Projekt Red is responsible for releasing the three main Witcher games (with DLC) alongside Gwent, a digital card game and competitor to Blizzard's Hearthstone, and Thronebreaker.

The RPGs

There are two: one made by Poles in 2001 and one made by R. Talsorian in 2018. The first one is a result of bunch of fans running an RPG-publishing company finally getting rights to make a Witcher game. The second is a result of contractual obligation. This has pretty obvious effects on both of them.

Aside from those two official games, there is a handful of notable homebrews and fan expansions to various games. This even includes a separate one for PF and 3e, 3.PF, 4e and 5e D&D. But probably most notable is the GURPS module, since it's on par with quality of official stuff. Pretty much all homebrews that are in English were designed with elements from video games, rather than book content.

Witcher: Game of Imagination

The Polish one is based on d6. It's class-less, supports both point-build or roll-for chargen. You pick your race, then either roll stats or spend points on them, then fill-in skills and special abilities. The game was designed from a ground-up specifically for the task of supporting things from the lore. It is also in a very awkward straddle between "muh realism" and "muh epic", with some rules aiming for high lethality and emulation of detailed factors, while others over-simplify things and underscale difficulty of various tasks.

Design-wise, it's a very late 90s game - various stats and skills overlap, others are overly simplified (like having 3 different tracking skills or 7 conversation-related, but just one for all types of melee weapons). On the flip side, its combat mechanics are more than servicable. What else to ask from a game when it has grappling rules that are just two sentences, make sense and don't confuse anyone, all while the game allows in the same time use magic and fight in melee? The game covers only things that are present in the books, so stuff introduced in video games like bombs or gorillion of potions is missing. The rules are also grounded in the lore, so bards play music and write poetry, while monks copy manuscripts. Elves still are sluts, thou.

/tg/ helped to translate the rules of the game back in 2015, around the time when The Wild Hunt was released. You can find it here. Translation is janky and covers only the rules, but it's still fully playable, as long as you don't mind the fact you have to look up values for monster stats with Google Translator (since monster book wasn't translated).

The Witcher

The Talsorian one is essentially Cyberpunk 2020 with a very, very, very thin fantasy paintjob over it. The game was forced out of the studio once CDPR send their lawyers on them, reminding Pondsmith senior that when they got rights for CP, he agreed to deliver a Witcher pen-and-paper RPG in turn. Talsorian did their very best to wiggle out of their side of the deal, until it became clear CDPR will simply sue. And since they've spend over two out of three years doing nothing, this had predictable effect on pace and quality of the game design or the lack of playtests. The result was an internet FAQ and official erratum going for almost thirty pages of explainations and corrections within first month after release.

The game is class-and-race based, with a choice between human, dwarf and elf (and witchers as race-as-class). There's a lot of background rolling, some truly nasty ways for crits to work you over, and a rather vast crafting system. It is predominately using The Wild Hunt as inspiration and source of game mechanics design.

It's not horribly designed barely playable. The class system is extremely restricting, even without comparison to the freedom of the Polish game. The skill system is schizophrenic as hell, not sure whether it wants to collapse similar skills together into super-skills or split them out into granular sub-skills, the random backstory generator tends towards grimderp and cannot be removed or replaced with something that lets a player pick, since some results offer gameplay benefits and penalties, and the crafting system is, at once, the worst kind of busywork math homework/bean-counting actuarial nonsense and absolutely necessary since everything in the game is designed to be more expensive than necessary to force you to engage with it at gunpoint. Because hey, RPGs are about crafting, right?

Combat's also not bad awful, since it takes CP2020 game mechanics, slaps swords and magic on them, but never adjust for the fact original ruleset was written for firearms and ballistic armour. totally wrong, except you ever chopped off someone's arm with a bullet.

It has an unique stamina mechanic where players essentially have a finite-but-replenishing currency they spend by taking all kinds of actions, but it's very random and lethal, so having a medic is also something the party needs at gunpoint but which can also be supplemented by a mage or priest so pretty much as every TTRPG that uses combat.

Finally, although they are the supposed draw of the game, Witchers are generally restricted to one per party, and while they are very good at hunting and killing monsters, they are very bad at everything else social skills, they suffer extreme social penalties, and while Geralt, by virtue of being a protagonist and a high-level character, is good at all kinds of things, most Witchers really, really need to specialize. Honestly, the average man-at-arms is just as good at fighting as the average Witcher until you actually read the rulebook and realise the witcher has signs that protect him, slow down enemies or literally stun them so he can chop their head off in the same turn, and better at doing other social things that don't involve monsters or tracking.

The TV Series

Just like with tabletop RPG, two exists: one done by Poles in 2001, the other by Netflix from 2019. They are significantly different, both in terms of technical aspects, but also plot and way of adapting the source material. They both share, however, poralizing reception, just about different aspects.

The Hexer

First of all, while in Poland it is simply titled "Wiedźmin", the international release was under "Hexer", as the "Witcher" term wasn't coined yet (and Sapkowski himself preferred "Hexer"). This ended up being a good thing, since you can easily tell it apart from the Netflix one, which is under "The Witcher" title.

It's a mixed bag: some things are great, other are terrible and some are just incredibly corny. Being a big budget (of course for Polish standards - so you are still in a B-movie territory) production, it at least secured good location shots and quite an impressive cast of Polish A-listers and hired an acclaimed music composer to deliver epic-tier soundtrack, so at least they approach the material serious enough. In the same time, it uses god-awful rubber puppets and early, turn-of-the-millenium CGI, which looked bad even when the thing was brand new, while sets range wildly from great location shots to the basement under the film studio.

But the most important aspect is the level of adaptation. During pre-production, Sapkowski suddenly went 180 degrees and from big supporter became the most vocal enemy of the series. Rumor has it he tried to renegotiate his contract (something he's kind of infamous for), and the studio executives just laugh in his face. Since not all legal agreements were signed with him prior, this allowed him to walk out of production and not provide full copyright to his short stories. As a result, the planned 13 episodes, adopting each of the Witcher short stories, ended up with barely half the needed material secured. As a result, the script writer had to get rather... creative, to fill up the contracted length of the show. This in turn lead to a whole lot of things created specifically for the series and that had nothing to do with the source material. And as you can guess, those things were viciously picked apart by the fandom. Then the costuming and prop departments added their own, treating it as just a throw-away production and half-assing their effort.

In the end, 13 hour-long episodes have been made, tracking more or less the plot of stories from "The Last Wish" and "Sword of Destiny" along with semi-canon and outright made-up elements of Geralt's backstory. The rule of thumb being that if the episode is original content, it's shit, and if it's following a short story, then it's genuinely good.

To wit, the good, the bad and the ugly:

• Music is awesome. If you are the kind of fag that plays background music for your games, you have an hour of combat music ready to steal.
• Despite being infamous in Poland for being a very weak adaptation, it is significantly more faithful to the stories than Netflix ever bothered to.
• Michał Żebrowski, who played Geralt, became so synonymous with the character, he coloured video game adaptations, which are closer to his performance than who Geralt is in the books.
• The original content is pure skub for the most part, and the changes in the "canon" are often pointless, needessly complicating things rather than making them easier to film.
• The performances are all over the place, depending from actor to actor. Some of them clearly cared, others did not, and some were fresh out of acting school. This makes certain scenes where all three groups perform at once pure comedy gold.
• Since it was made by Poles for Polish market, nobody had any issues with nudity.
• Do you like katanas? Because witchers carry one to fight with non-monsters. And they use aikido, too.
• The special effects aged like milk. A 20 yo milk. Either roll with it, or at least get drunk before watching.
• There is no official international release of the series. There is however bunch of bootlegs floating around the net, accessible with English, German, Swedish and Russian subtitles.

Oh, and one more thing - there is a "film". It's not an actual movie, but a crudely cobbled together 120 minutes of nonsense made out of the material of the TV series. It is infamously terrible and even if you know the source material, you will be hard pressed to grasp the plot of it. The fact majority of people involved in making the series asked for their names to be removed from the credits of this shitpile should tell you more than enough. The legacy of this monstrosity is so strong, just mentioning "Hexer" to any adult Pole will instantly trigger PTSD and a 2d6 minutes long rant on how awful the film was, completely missing the memo you want to dicuss the series.

The Witcher

This article or section is about a topic that is particularly prone to Skub (that is, really loud and/or stupid arguments). Edit at your own risk, and read with a grain of salt, as skubby subjects have a bad habit of causing stupid, even in neutrals trying to summarize the situation.

This article covers a topic that, by its very nature, is a magnet for flamewars. Try not to get too assmad at what you're about to read.

An attempt was made.

One day, Netflix was bored and wondered how could he ruin everybody's fun again. Perhaps by making another unnecesary live adaptation of an anime franchise? Or by cancelling yet another of their beloved shows that deserved a bit more moments in the spotlight? That day, Netflix decided to adapt a beloved series of novels and video games, and it happened to be the Witcher.

As it was announced, people were very skeptical of what Netflix could do with it as they claimed that their one and only goal is to be as faithful to the source material. A rare promise in an industry that has long stopped caring about the fans (see more below), so the most optimistic people out there were sort of thrilled. A series made on a franchise that deserve more recognition and a solid budget to film it all, what could possibly go wrong?

Well...;

• Netflix, like all major TV Networks these days, seems to be convinced that if you want to adapt a beloved franchise as a TV series, then you should hire people who know nothing or care little about the universe of said franchise or people who legitimately hate the source material and will do everything it their power to deconstruct in every way imaginable on top of hamfisting his current political agenda in a manner that would make Tommy Wiseau look like the most subtle man on the planet. In the case of the Witcher, the later turned out to be the case.
• The series tone is very reminescent of another very popular fantasy TV show with a gritty and realistic tone. Some fans were displeased by the similarities, but what can we say? We'll let you be the judge of it. It's a very different interpretation of Sapkowski's work and we can definetly approve of this fresh vision of his world. It might not be up to everyone's taste, but at least the sets are admirable.
• Henry Cavill as Geralt; without the shadow of a doubt the best thing about this series. He loves his role and he never phones it. He's giving himself at his maximum to give us one of the most solid interpretation of Geralt's character. Hell, he even managed to generate to generate fan clubs of girls who... Never read the books or played the games but hey, still a feat of its own.
  • Cavill is also a massive Warhammer nerd. Too bad the rest most (Dandelion/Jaskier played Necrons to try it out) of the cast taunted him over his hobby. HE'S ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
• To be fair, the supernatural contrasts really well if the overall realistic approach of the series. It looks out of place, outside of this world and just plain old weird.
• The combat, while well choregraphed, was apparently shot by Barry the drunken intern, because it keeps changing shots and switches from normal speed to slow-mo in a flash (no pun intended). The action is good, but its just too bad the camera isn't there to assist it.
• Although many praised the first season for being somewhat good on its own and admired its effort to introduce new story elements to these new interpretations of the character whiel somewhat retaining the original spirit of the books, the second season was... divisive, to say the least. The main complaints being about the changes made to the characters and the added "lore" that didn't please a lot of people. This season also adopted a new episodic structure, with each being its own little story instead of a long list of episodes following one and only story as the first season did, which is closer to what the books were in some cases, but to a lot of people in the audience, the change was just jarring.
• The first season wasn't perfect either, as people complained it kept on jumping between different moments in time as it tells the story of its three main characters; Geralt, Ciri and Yennefer. While Big G and Yenn's stories were set in the past, Ciri's was set in the present, and the jumps in time between each scene were difficult to notice and made the series harder to follow for some casual spectators. A bold choice of direction for some, encouraging people to really focus on whats going on and catch any of the serie's details, but a poor decision for others, who think this makes the series more jarring to watch.

And just so that we adress in the two elephants in the room:

1. The blackwashing racebending. Let's make this clear, as stated above, the worldbuilding of the Witcher never clearly states that The Witcher is set in a "slavic" world despite european/slavic folk tales and fantasy being the main inspiration for its universe, the author not caring all that much about deep lore and just wanting to give the bare minimum. Also, it should be noted that there are no divine laws telling artists to not represent elves as just white all the time.

That being said; the diverse cast of the series raised a lot of eyebrows. And we do mean, a lot. On one hand, yes, the Witcher is based on European/Slavic mythologies and there have been mentions of countries far beyond where Geralt usually dwells in, and as far as we know, the populace that he usually speaks with, particularly humans, isn't known for its wild diversity. At least not in the "Hollywood" sense of the term. As in, it may have a lot of different ethnic groups here and there, but it's not New York or Los Angeles either. So now we have Black Elves (again, nothing wrong, Elfquest did it and nobody complained), but we also have humans who are... Various shades of white and black. And we're supposed to believe that humans only have a problem with non-humans, including said elves. Bare in the mind that the people Geralt meets in his quest, especially the common folk, are all stupidly bigoted. So it's kind of weird to think that they have a problem with elves, but not their neighbor who just so happen to have the exact same skin color as the elves they love to hate.

As for Triss and Yennefer being race lifted... It's as much of an issue as it is a non-issue. Of course there's nothing wrong with that, but having a race-mixed Triss and an Indian Yennefer doesn't bring anything new to the table, so why even change them in the first place? You might say it was all for representation and the likes, but then again, might as well create new characters? It wasn't like the producers weren't going to add their own little changes to the whole thing. Some might say it was a case of "Ability over Appearance" and for that we have to call for bullshit, because there are just as many actors who could at least ressemble the characters. See below for a better explanation.

2. Lauren Hissrich. The main, or at least most influent producer of the entire series. She's even skubbier than the Ultramarine fanboy himself. What can we say about her? She's behind most of the most severe changes to the "universe" and the stories told in the show, brought many of her femen friends to discuss the potential retouches that could be made to make the series more progressive or more political, people actively tried to go against her wishes and try to stick to the source material just a tad more than what was originally conceptualized, and she turned out to be an extremely intolerant person towards gingers, too. She's also a very sloppy liar, because she was the first one to tell everybody that they were going to be extremely faithful to the books by not changing the ethnicities of the characters just to appeal to minorities or fill quotas, and then she proceeded to post an ad saying that the studio was looking for BAME actresses to play Triss, a character known for her pale skin and chestnust hair. She could've said she wanted a BAME Triss and Yeneffer. She could've. But she didn't. She baited everyone and pulled the race card when called out on that.

Seriously. The whole reason why the guards wear dick shaped armors and why the main cast is so diverse in the first place is simply because she wanted to fuck with the fans themselves and "subvert our expectations" while challenging the patriarchy and fighting racial injustice and the usual type of Hollywood nonsense. Needless to say, her slacktivism is showing. It's fine and dandy to revolt against the status quo and have a diverse cast of characters, but the thing is that if you cast several BAME actresses just for the sake of filling your own personal quotas and make unsubtle references to toxic masculinity (whatever that means for her specifically) to criticize it as it stands in the current year, your work is gonna get dated very fast.