Snotling

From 2d4chan
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Snotlings (Orkus serverum) are the diminutive greenskins of Warhammer Fantasy and Warhammer 40000. A punishment for White Dwarf writers used to be being forced to paint a 5,000 point Snotling army. They're that bad.

Fantasy

Generally left to their own devices, Snotlings do not fit into the traditional Orcs & Goblins hierarchy. Goblins torture them, like they do all things smaller and weaker than themselves, and Orcs will bully them into work for the same reason. In the latter scenario, Snotlings eagerly do as they are told with a full intent to please. Their lack of intelligence severely limits their helpfulness however, as an Orc demanding they bring him his favorite short stabba will receive everything but, and belonging to everyone else in his group. Many Orcs find their simplicity and willingness to cooperate endearing, luckily, naming them and keeping their favorites nearby. Foul-tempered Orcs and Squigs may still react with hostility and even hunger towards them.

While Snotlings don't build the elaborate (for greenskin) structures that Goblins do, and have never been seen smithing alongside Black Orcs, they do possess a sense of ingenuity. Even among Savage Orcs they will scavenge wood and metal, assembling devices commonly known as "Pump Wagons" which are a Snotling-powered Snotling delivery system resembling wooden bawkses, getting them into fights faster than their kin and doing much more damage to enemies than most greenskins will survive to do.

They are relatives of Gnoblar, a race of greenskins who are only marginally bigger than the Snotlings which serve Ogres in the same way common Snotlings serve Orcs and Goblins. It’s debatable on which is actually smarter, but considering Gnoblars do have their own faction, our bet’s on the Gnoblars.

40k

Snotlings encountering their more common fate in war. Note that this is not entirely accurate, as Snotlings are not smart enough to run away in this situation.

Oh boy, you thought Gretchins get no respect? Snotlings are figuratively (and sometimes literally) the icky paste at the bottom of the barrel of the Ork hierarchy. Viewed as nothing more than diminutive and immature Gretchins, these poor slobs get picked on and bullied by everyone within Ork society; even the wimpiest of Grots still have some form of use beyond cannon fodder.

To make things short, life for a Snotling is even worse than for a Grot. Their role in an Ork ecosystem is essentially to be caretakers of fungi and Squigs, and double as the primary food source for said squigs. While Gretchins form the overall 'middle-class' and second-class citizens, Snotlings are below third-class citizens, somewhere between dogs and dog food. And unlike their somewhat larger and more cunning cousins, Snotlings are as dumb as a brick, noted to behave more on animalistic instincts than raw independent intellect. These guys are the dudes that just have to be pitied.

There are rumors among the larger Gretchin that Snotlings are the direct descendants of the "Brain Boyz" (the Old Ones, who created the Orks). Supposedly they grew weaker and weaker after the War in Heaven until they were enslaved by their own servant race. Some Orks believe it might be true, others think it's just a folk tale the Gretchin tell themselves to feel better, and neither camp actually cares if it's true as long as the Gretchin get back to work.

Battlefield Roles

Cannon fodder of a cannon fodder, that's it. Snotlings are so useless in a battlefield that even Grots consider them as cannon fodder. Since they're simpletons, they are often armed with very basic (we mean very basic) weaponry such as sticks, sharp glass or a wet sock. Obviously they would deal as much threat as a very angry kitten; fortunately though, they come in ludicrous numbers, resulting often in drowning their enemies in blood and bodies.

Sometimes an Ork with a Shokk Attack Gun may use any unfortunate Snotlings as ammunition, since a Gretchin is actually smart enough to notice the danger while a Snotling is often too dumb to realize what is going on until it is too late. Often (if they are fortunate) the resulting Snotlings, after being transported through the Warp, lose what little sanity they have and start to attack anything like a rabid dog once they get kicked out of literal space hell; sometimes however they may just come out in ludicrous gibs or cease to exist all together.

Why it sucks to be a Snotling

Meet the most pitiful race to ever come out of WH40K.
  • You're at the literal bottom of the food chain.
  • You have almost no use at all.
    • Of what little use you have is often ignored completely.
  • You are dog food for a vast majority of cultivated Squigs.
    • You cultivated the squig that ate you.
  • Even Gretchins bully you.
  • When you fall asleep in the fungus gardens, the next thing you realize once you wake up is that you are suddenly turned into a 'snotroom'.
    • Yes even simple fungi are more likely to see you as food.

Why it still sucks to be a Snotling

  • You're as dumb as a brick and won't notice anything until it is too late.
  • You're nothing more than ammunition in the battlefield.
  • You're considered the cannon fodder of the cannon fodders in the battlefield.
    • Seriously, you are going up against Titans, tanks and supersoldiers with a stick and a piece of glass. Even Grots get to use knives and the occasional gun.
  • You may get accidentally stepped/crushed on and nobody would even notice you, let alone care.
  • You look like a Gretchin fetus.
  • You will grow up to be the size of a house cat.
    • The house cat is higher on the food chain than you.
  • The myriad variations of "Kick the Snotling" are among the more popular between WAAAGH! activities of your superiors.
  • To say that Rippers (the lowest Tyranid creature) are the Tyranid equivalent of Snotlings is somewhat disingenuous, given that Rippers eat Snotlings.

On The Tabletop

Fantasy

Snotlings fulfill the useful Tarpit role using their 5 Wounds and low point cost, although in an army where theoretically anything can fill that function they stand out by being Immune to Psychology due to being a Swarm, and having them wiped out (which is quite likely as they have little to no survivability) does not panic your other troops.

They have a weak ranged attack involving exploding spores they can use that ignores Armor, although it is unlikely to do meaningful damage in most situations at only S2.

Pump Wagons are far more useful, showing up in many Netlists due to their high damage and ability to charge models without allowing a reaction move. They are fragile, but with target mitigation using enough Squigs you can easily force most opponents to pick their poison between the two.

40k

Shokk attack gun ammo. That's literally it.

Gallery

Forces ov da Orks
Bosses: Beastboss - Big Mek - Boiler Boy - Meganobz - Painboy
Painboss - Pigdok - Warboss - Warlord - Weirdboy - Wurrboy
Boyz: Boyz (Huntas - Madboyz - Shoota Boyz - Slugga Boyz - Stikk Bommas - Wildboyz)
'Ardboyz - Brutes - Cyborks - Diggas - Gretchin - Nobz - Skarboyz
Oddboys: Burna Boyz - Flash Gitz - Kommandos - Lootas
Mekboyz - Rokkas - Runtherd - Stormboyz - Tankbustas
Feral Orks an'
Beast Snaggas:
Beast Snagga Boy - Boarboyz - Herda - Kill Rig
Squig Catapult - Squiggoth - Squighog Boy - Trappa
Stompy 'fings: Deff Dred - Gorkanaut - Killa Kan - Mega-Dread - Morkanaut
Transports an' Tanks: Battlewagon - Big Lugga - Big Trakks - Bonebreaka - Bonecruncha - Braincrusha
Flakkatrakks - Gobsmasha - Grot Tanks - Grot Trakbike - Gutrippa - Grot MegaTank
Gunwagon - Looted Wagon - Lungbursta - Trukk - Spleenrippa - Weirdboy Tower
Speed Freeks: Boomdakka Snazzwagon - Bowelburna - Cuttas - Deffkilla Wartrike - Junka
Kustom Boosta-Blasta - Megatrakk Scrapjet - Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy
Shokkjump Dragsta - Speedsta - Warbikers - Warbuggy - Wartrakk
Flyboyz: Bomma - Dakkajet - Deffkoptas - Drilla-Killa - Fighta - Fighta-Bomma
Grot Bomms - Landa - Minelayer - Warkoptas - Wazbom Blastajet
Supportin' Dakka: Grot Bomm Launcha - Magna-Kannon - Mek Gunz
Splashy Noggins: Ship Smasha-class Maritime Destroyer
Nautical Kroozer - Ork Submersible
Zoggin' Big and Ded Killy: Battlefortress - Gargant - Kill Tanks - Locomotive Battering Ram - Stompa
Warp Ulks: Ork Assault Boat - Rok
Huts'an Stuff: Big'ed Bossbunka - Dropz - Mekboy Workshop
Gubbinz an' Wots-its: Choppas - Fungus - Ork Gunz - Snotlings - Squigs - Warboars