Robin Cruddace
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The Cruddace has the ability to turn anything it touches into confusing, uninspiring, soul draining crap. It is has not been discovered whether this is done on purpose or it is just a general lack of talent, skill, apathy, work ethic, or just a general aura of suck but the effects can be devastating. There is one exception, for reasons unknown the Imperial Guard seem to be immune to this effect. Some say they have actually gained vast power from The Cruddace and pray to him as a God. When anyone tries to point out the insipid work of The Cruddace there is a cry from the IG faithful “Do not speak ill of The Cruddace! The Cruddace has showered upon us great gifts at little cost so that we might smite our foes!”
One of the best examples of the terrifying might of The Cruddace is a once feared alien species called the Tyranids. These creatures were the scourge of known space and feared by all. All races thought they were on the move to devour the universe but they were not attacking to consume new worlds they were simply trying to escape The Cruddace… unfortunately for them they could not get away. It is said the Cruddace can even destroy across time reaching back to strip the life and essence of armies from millennia past. The primal fear of The Cruddace reaches into the future as well. Entire races cower at the thought of his touch in their near future; they know that if his attention is drawn to them they are doomed, for nothing can kill the Cruddace.
The Crudd also wrote the 8th edition Warriors of Chaos codex, many feared what would become of the beloved Chaos Vikings under his gaze, but the codex turned out to be pretty good after all. Clearly, this improvement in codex writing heralds that soon Cruddace shall ascend from the mortal plane of rules-writing and enter the daemonic realm of writing for Black Library and Marketing; like Gav Thorpe and countless others before him.
Also, for some reason, a lot of people spell his name "Cruddance." It has yet to be determined whether this is a shitty attempt at a pun ("crud" + "dance") or just people being inconsiderate faggots (see: Bretonnia v. Brettonia).
Ahem
Robin Cruddace is a codex writer for Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy Battle, and an utter treadhead. This means, of course, that there is one army he is very good at writing, but not too many others, and there is much wailing and misery over the utter hackjob he pulled on the Tyranids, the army he was least suited for. It's also possible that he's not really a treadhead either - the guy's an Imperial Guard player, just like Matt Ward is an Ultramarines player, so like Ward it's easy to see he definitely played a bit of favoritism with his own guys. On the other end of the spectrum, it appears he may have been in the camp of believers that Tyranids were overpowered with overpowered MCs, since that's what he nerfed the hardest, and then he took away all their equipment options so they couldn't even be accidental bargains somehow.
He also filled the Tyranid fluff with page after page of losing battles for Tyranids, rather than the enigmatic analysis on their rapid development and adaptability which they were previously known for (their crunch now makes them among the most rigid armies in the game). In fact, he has one story about how well the Tau were able to out-adapt the Tyranids by tricking them into disadvantageous evolutionary paths. The Tau won that battle by beating Tyranids at their own game. In the Tyranids' own codex. And then the Tau were killed off by Necrons. Also, he removed all the awesome fluff about Inquisitor Kryptman (aka spehss Alan Grant from Jurassic Park).
We don't know what's wrong with Cruddace, but if he writes your army's codex, you better hope he likes your army.
No, really, go back and think it through. Sometimes the Tyranids will lose. When they invaded Macragge they couldn't win because it would kill the Ultramarines forever, and the Ultramarines are pretty damn important to the game. The story Cruddace wrote involved the Tyranids, in their own codex, losing a battle of adaptation to a random Tau force nobody knows. With rapid adaptability being the Tyranids' single most important claim to fame. And then. Cruddace killed off the whole Tau force anyway. With another faction entirely. The saddest part is how easy it would be to fix: either make it a major Tau world (with the implication that, if the Tau lose, the Tau Empire is nommed), or make the Tau solution something so grimdark and apocalyptic (read: super virus) that the Tau realize the only way to stop the Tyranids is to sacrifice the entirety of the Tau Empire (and possibly all sentient life in the galaxy).
But no, he made the Tau better than the Tyranids. Apparently the Ultramarines are just chumps... although who knows how well that shitty toilet paper from the spiritual liege holds up against an enemy as dynamic as 'Nids.
In any case, we are not kidding: if Cruddace doesn't like your army, prepare to get fucked.
That being said, he also made a bunch of the 8th edition Fantasy books, which were, for the most part, pretty good, and seem to be bringing Warhammer Fantasy into gasp balance. (Tomb Kings are still at the arse end of useful.) He was also a co-writer for the 7th edition Lizardmen army book, which was considered a strong, but balanced book until 8th edition changes to magic occured.
He also turned Chaos Daemons into a mess of random tables and nerfed units that didn't need to be nerfed (bloodcrushers) or, he over nerfed units (flamers, Screamers and just Tzeentch units in general. Warpflame? Seriously?). The only reason this codex isn't a complete trainwreck is because Phil Kelly wrote part of it. (That's not fair, you can't just say all the bad stuff is Cruddace's fault and give Kelly credit for all the good. The book's actually decent overall (unless you relied on Fateweaver to win games for you) and balance wise is in line with the other 6th Edition books. The fluff section is also really sells what the army is like.
It should be noted that "crud" is an often-used euphemism for "crap". Make of this what you will.
Notable Victims of The Cruddace
- Tyranids (5th Edition)
- Sisters of Battle (the 5th Edition White Dwarf-only not-even-Codex)
- Tomb Kings (8th Edition)
- The Empire
- Chaos Daemons (6th Edition)
Tau (6th Edition, Scheduled)Nope, it will be written by a Hamster.