Ork
"WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!"
- --Da Orks, all da time.
The Orks are a race in Warhammer 40,000. Commonly also known as "Greenskins", they're most likely the most numerous race in the entire WH40K setting, or at least at par with the Tyranids. They have a Warhammer Fantasy equivalent, only major differences being the more common spelling of orc with a "c" instead of a "k", and a lower level of technology, related to the setting.
Overview
Orks could be considered one of the more successful races of the 41st millennium. Despite their entire lack of structured education or training, they seem to be very proficient with all kinds of technology, which they inevitably utilize for their armaments (of which firearms and vehicles are the most common). This is explained away in the fluff by their origins: they were created by the Old Ones to be a warrior race called the Krork, and some of them (the Mekboyz) were genetically hard-wired to have a proficiency for working with technology. Unfortunately, the Old Ones died before they could finish their little science project; specifically the psychic control mechanism. This means they simply fight everything, everywhere, all the time. In principle, Orks can loot just about anything: the minor greenskins, such as "Grotz" (goblins) can construct several working vehicles and machines out of mere scrap.
The Orks derive much of their success from their reproductive process: Orks are, essentially, ambulatory psychosensitive fungi. One advantage is a redundancy of vital organs, making them able to easily survive events such as head transplants and the fact that it's not easy to kill an individual Ork since they could very well survive injuries that would put a human to a crippled state. Another advantage is their ability to grow larger as they win more battles (due to the aforementioned psychosensitivity): an Ork who is winning a fight is enjoying himself, which causes fluctuations in the gestalt field that all Orks generate. These fluctuations supercharge the Ork's physiology, causing the Ork to gain muscle mass. In addition, their fungal physiology allows Orks to reproduce asexually. Though all Orks discharge reproductive spores throughout their lives, the most significant emissions occur when an Ork dies. This means that, for Orks, combat is their principle means of reproduction and genetic exchange, but using flamers will essentially stop them from reproducing. Reproductive spores enter the topsoil and eventually produce lesser Orks: squigs and Grotz. The Grotz cultivate the squigs in preparation for the emergence of the greater Orks, which take longer to develop. Due to this, an Ork infestation is incredibly hard to handle if kept unchecked since it won't take them long to get enough boyz to launch a full-scale Waaagh! To overrun an entire planet.
Orks only have 2 popular combat doctrines: either be choppy, which involves hacking your opponent down with anything capable of busting heads and splitting bodies open, or be shooty, which involves spitting out as much bullets in the general direction any direction whatsoever, including straight up or down, of your opponent, the louder and the faster the better since Orks don't really care much about accuracy.
Orks are commonly believed to be stupid and superstitious by the other races of the 40k world, quite an ironic thing to hear coming from any member of the Imperium of Man. HERESY!*SMASH* WHO LET WUNNOVDA HUMIES ON DIS PAGE?!
Their philosophy of RED WUNZ GO FASTA is both BS and the ultimate truth: because of the aforementioned gestalt field, Ork vehicles painted red will, ultimately, go faster than Ork vehicles that are not painted red because the Orks believe that Red makes everything go faster. Many colours have some power to the Orks including Blue being lucky and Purple being sneaky. Have you ever seen a purple Ork? I thought not.
The WAAAGH! bears some note. Always written in all-caps, with at least three "As" and an exclamation point, the WAAAGH! occurs when an Ork population reaches critical mass and a dominant Warboss appears. A Warboss is an Ork who is bigger than all the other Orks and have proven his right to lead by either his sheer size or krumpin' all the other big Orks that thinks otherwise. Lesser Orks sense the presence of the Boss in the Orks' psychic field and follow him on what is often described as a combination of a pub crawl and a holy crusade, with a dash of genocide. The WAAAGH! accomplishes two things: it weeds out weaker Orks, keeping the species strong; and it facilitates genetic exchange and reproduction as the Orks die and release spores.
The Ork economy is based on teef, more information on which can be found here.
Ork religious beliefs also help manage their population. Orks believe in two gods, Gork and Mork. One is the god of cunning brutality and the other is the god of brutal cunning, the difference being that one hits you when you aren't looking and the other kills your dog when you are. Unfortunately, no one can decide which god is which, nor can the Orks decide which is better: cunning brutality or brutal cunning. These differences of opinion tend to lead to Gigantic Brawls, yet another method of keeping the Ork race strong.
Ork society is effectively the perfect society. The economy is steady, as teef rot. All disputes are settled fairly quickly and painfully (just the way they like it). Once a Boss is in place, mostly everyone falls into place, and the Orks go and get shit done. If only the Imperium were so perfec-HERESY!*THUMP* WHERE DESE UMIES COMIN' FROM?! BOYZ, GET TA SMASHIN'!
Ork Technology
Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The official explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate allows their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more unlikely their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a piece of metal and convince him it's a gun, it WILL fire bullets. In later versions, this has been toned down from "impossible" to merely "unlikely" because GW won't keep anything canon that's that badass. If Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.
For example: a Wartrukk with a mob of Orks in it sputters and dies. Da boyz hop out and have a look. One of da boyz examines the readouts and says to the Nob driver, "Da bloody fing is outta gas!" Said Nob hits the offending Ork in the face so hard that he falls unconscious. "Look 'ere, I'z da boss, and I sez I filled this fing up righ' before we left!" The rest of da boyz look at each other, halfway convinced. He is the biggest Ork among them, and he did just prove it. Maybe he did fill it up right before they left. That's the sort of thing one does when one's in charge. Da boyz begin to file back into the Wartrukk, and with a satisfied nod, the Nob gets in and cranks her up. Because da boyz believe that there is plenty of fuel in the truck, one drop does for ten, and the Wartrukk and da boyz arrive just in time for the next fight.
The purpose for this sort of thing is primarily to compensate for the Orks' technological disadvantage by comparison with races like the Tau, Necrons, or the Eldar. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons generally will not function in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe wants it to work, not because they themselves are making it work.
This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically ingrained with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want to, the basis is that the Orks can actually build a conceptually working frame to get all Orky on. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, which propels Snotlings through the Warp and into the armor, tanks, and bodies of their enemies. Also, there have been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races, at least for a time. Be careful though, most Ork players have very deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and debates between them can generate much RAGE.
Special Note on Orky Vehicles
To properly describe what Ork vehicles are like is a difficult prospect, or perhaps an overlooked opportunity. Either way, few actually attempt to clarify in tangible terms what orkish vehicle-makers create.
Let's start with the venerable Trukk. Keep in mind that the standard Ork Boy is a hunched, monstrous, 7-foot-tall Hulk Hogan. Now, the Trukk eccentrically an over-sized, skeletal pickup truck, with armored bus tires and a spiked ram-plate for a bumper. The frame is then covered in all manner of inch-thick armor plating, the basic standard in orkish vehicle armor. No Ork vehicle with more than two wheels has an engine smaller than a V8, and the trukk is no exception. A common brag for a trukk owner, "I'z put twelve silenderz in dis 'ere kart" (when not met with the classic "You shoulda sprung fer forteen!" comeback), is similar to a human saying he put an extra two cylinders in his car and overhauled his transmission.
Larger orkish vehicles, like the Big Trakk, often use V14 engines that any human would say belongs on a fishing trawler. Alternatively, some vehicles use turbine engines for extra torque (which is always a good thing) and a higher top speed (also a good thing), or crackling electrical engines (less popular than a good-old combustion engine, but can "accidentally" taze pesky Lootas or enemies who get too close (i.e. rammed). Big Trakks are literally the size of a heavy tank, but are completely open-topped to provide a chassis for hauling Boyz or insanely big gunz into the fight. They have banks of fat-tired wheels or, most likely, four-plus-foot-wide treads. They have as much torque as a Battle Wagon and fear no obstacle.
Special Groups of Orks
Apart from the regular Boyz, there are several groups of Orks who specialize in a specific task or doctrine. Called Oddboys (if they are relatively normal when fighting time rolls around) or Wyrdboys (when the shoot lighting out of their eyes, gunz or eye-gunz). The most common ones are:
Kult of Speed
Speedfreaks who commonly go into the battlefield on bikes hyped up on dakka and flashy bitz, as their name suggests, they'z like goin' faster than fast. On tabletop, they're one of, if not the best, biker unit for any codex, since they're really shooty, fairly cheap and they get a +4 cover save by DOING A FUCKING BURNOUT by default. This guys field the classic Mobile Ork Army, which causes loads of Butthurt and Rage when people go up against them. Just look out for Lascannons.
Mekboys
Meks are Orks who are capable of making the ramshackle yet effective weapons and vehicles the Orks use. They're primarily the ones who makes the warband's wagons, restore salvaged vehicles, and create/modify weapons. An Ork who lead bands of Mekboys is called a "Big Mek", and is a bitch to kill on tabletop if he's kitted out. Five-up cover saves for everyone!
Oddboyz
This category is filled with Orks who express genetic predispositions to certain tasks. Here are your Mekboys (engineers), Painboys (doctors), Weirdboys (psykers), Madboyz (psychos), Slaverz (duh), Brewerz (makers of alcohol; retconned), Rockaz (musicians; also retconned), and Shoutaz (communications experts).
Lootas
Lootas are Orks who are obsessed with pimping out their shootas by salvaging bitz from their enemies. Lootas are critically important to Orkish mechanical industry, because they head salvage operations an assist Meks where Grots can't. A loota gets between 1 and 3 Strength 7 shots per turn - only that low ballistics skill keeps them from being game breakers. They're also the ones who loot wrecked tanks and vehicles after a battle to use as Looted Wagons, with the help of Mekboys, which means Orks can remobilize rapidly, and scale up to match tank-driving foes. When not fighting or looting, Lootaboyz are a menace to Orky society, stealing, swindling, making trouble, and bein the reason other Boyz can't have nice things.
Flash Gits
There are another group of shoota-obsessed Orks known as "Flash Gitz"; rich, obnoxious Bad Moonz gits who buy powerful weapons and upgrades using their large stockpiles of teef. They love nothing more than showing off their wealth and (supposedly associated) martial power. They do things like wearing FABOLOUS clothing, sporting huge banners declaring their awesomeness (shogun-style), and plating everything they have in gold, sliver, platinum, or any other shiny metal they have at hand. Although gold is preferred. Goldz iz da bestest.
While they might seem powerful in fluff and are terrifyingly powerful in Dawn of War (no seriously, the two squads of flash gitz you can take in the game spew out enough dakka to chew through baneblades), they're nigh useless on tabletop. It's unlikely that more than 1-2 boyz in your squad will hit anyone, owning to low Orky BS, the Gits high point cost, and the fact that they're not as numerous as typical Ork squads. They would be better if only they cost less, or picked up one upgrade for free and bought the others. In 6th edition, all units can pre-measure, so the Gitfindaz wargear now allows Flash Gitz to ignore cover, as of the new FAQ. Perfect for ruining some sneaky git's day.
Freebooterz
Orks who raid and pillage the galaxy as MOTHERFUCKING PIRATES. And just to add to their awesomeness, they'll usually dress and/or speak like pirates. AAARG!
Kommandos
Orks who managed to figure out that charging a gunline isn't always the best option, so dey'z the sneakiest of da Orks. They typically paint themselves purple, which Orks believe is the sneakiest color (and because Orks are Orks, purple does in fact make them harder to see ... don't ask how the fuck that one works, it just does). Kommandos rely on stealth tactics rather than balls-out firepower, and achieve this by using crude camouflage techniques, Speshul Forces equipment such as NVGs, various types of grenades, and all those other gubbins that makes them all sneaky. The concept of Orks using tactics beyond drowning their enemies in corpses and bullets is so completely out there that some Imperial commanders do not believe that Kommandos actually exist, but nobody laughed when a Kommando suddenly hi-jacked a Deathstrike Missile Launcher inside Imperial Lines, and proceeded to launch it at the Imperial's front lines, killing thousands, including a Baneblade (Except for the Orks, who laughed their asses off as this was happening).
Feral Orks
Hidden away in GW fluff are these guys. These guys are what happens after a Waaagh! has left your planet. They crop up in wildernesses and form tribes. They don't have technology (like shootas) or any kind of mekboys or even good resources to build junk. They are roughly on par with your Fantasy Orks, so you can just use your Fantasy army in 40k if you can fluff your army right. Not like it matters, it's the same tactic either game. They tend to have Grots, Kommandos and Weirdboys coming out of their ears, and love to ride big squigs. If you don't prune them back to the forest well enough, they might sic buttloads of squiggoths on you. Snakebites love these guys, and if space-born Orks pick them up, Feral Orks usually become Snakebites anyway.
They breed a special kind of Oddboy, the Pigdok, who is a combination of a Mek and a Dok, but excels at neither. They do surgical procedures like a stereotypical medicine man, wander around covered in robes and talismans given to them by the Weirdboy Shamans, and head the construction of things like ballistas and catapults, all the way up to magical stompy Idols and the Steam Gargant.
Retcons
All following Ork Oddboys have been retconned, at least by GW's word. They live on in our hearts (and custom-models) as:
Rokkas
Rogue Trader Orks with a penchant for hard rock, metal, leather armor, and overgrown hair squigs. While still technically retconned, they do seem to keep cropping up in the fluff. Also known as Goff Rokkas, these boyz tend to come out of the Goffs exclusively, but it isn't completely unknown for other Clans to spit out one of these crazy green "musicians". They play machine gun guitars and PARTY 'ARD!!! It should be noted that Rokkas were invented in the Eighties, so they don't play things like Death Metal as much as they do generic Metal, 80's Metal, electric guitar ballads, and Hard Rock.
Shoutas
These orks have over-developed lungs and super-strong vocal cords so that they can yell really loud. Yes, you heard me right. They yell across Gargant-tops and over battlefield din to act as a telecommunications array. See, not all things that were retconned were too good to last. SHUDDUP STOOPID HUMIE, WHUT DO YOU KNOW?!?!?! SHOUTAS IZ DA BEST!!!!!!!
Brewerz
Again, not technically retconned, but never mentioned after about 3rd Edition. Brewerz, or Brewer Boyz function much like Mekboys or Mad Doks do, knowing the ins and outs of brewing through genetically inherited intuition. They make alcohol out of squigs. Now I think the Grots do that, but I can't be sure. Made everything from beers to malts to meads to liquors to scotches. Yes, certain squigs can be made into scotch. No, you may not question this.
Female Orks
Vaguely referenced in older fluff and glimpsed during Blood Bowl, sacrificed because nobody wants to see Ork tits.
Brain Boyz
Mentioned in Deff Squadron, which all Ork players know is canon. They function as record keepers, story tellers, rememberancers, aids, logicians, and sources of common sense. Clearly few in number, if still existent. They have all the trappings of orkish violence-love, but with a sense of self-preservation and forethought. Theoretically, they tell incredibly interesting campfire stories (of foes gettin' squashed and epic battles with champions of yore) to distract the Boyz from fighting amongst themselves in the down time between fightin' and winnin' proper battles, including during space travel. With campfires and everything.
Ork Clanz
Oi, listen up ya gits. Dere's six diverant majah clanz of Ork, and dey's all right 'ard.
- Dere's da Snakebites, and dey'z a buncha fundie gits what won't use any teknowlogy more complicated den a choppa an' warpaint. Anytime dere's a world dat a WAAAAAGH smashed up, it gets full o' fundie boyz. When we pick em up, dey run off ta da Snakebites anyway instead o' learnin how ta fight propa. But dey got squiggoths, an' every WAAAAGH needs really big killy things.
- Da Bad Moonz, what gotz lotsa teef 'cause dey grow faster den any other orks, so dey'z a buncha rich gits. at meanz dat dey's got da best squig and dakka, but since dey'z such lazy gits, dey's no good at choppin' an' stompin', so other orks can always just find a Bad Moon and stomp his teef out.
- Goffs are a buncha gloomy gits what don't ever have any fun and don't give a grot's toss about dakka, but dey'z somma da 'ardest of all da orks. Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka himself wuz a Goff. Dats why he's so big, 'ard an mean.
- Da Evil Sunz're all part a da Kult a Speed, and dey've got da most Meks, so dey're always muckin' about with teknowlogical equipment an speedy karts.
- Deathskullz are a buncha thievin', lootin' gits what'll grab anyfing what's not nailed down an' make it orky. Anyfing. Even in da middle of a scrap. Da mekz loves em, though, cuz nobody'z got more bitz and gubbinz than a Deffskull Loota. Deffskullz all seemz ta have some kinda technikal know-wotz, though.
- And, last of all, dere's da Blood Axez. Dey're da ones what've been hangin' around da stinkin' humies fer too long, and gone and developed all sorts a un-orky things like taktiks an' recownasense an' camo'flage. Dey've even got a sayin': "If we runs for it, it don't count as losing, cuz we can also come back for anuvver go, see?" Dey'z both mocked as cowards by most of da boyz, and da main source a warbosses in WAAAAAAAGH! time. An' its always WAAAAAAAGH! time, ya git!
Reasons it Rokks to be an Ork
- You iz da biggest an' da strongest.
- You iz made fer fightin' an' winnin'.
- You iz da most numerous species in da galaxy
(or at least on par with the Tyranids).*THUMP* SHADDAP YOUZ!! WEZ GOTS MOAH BOYZ DAN DEM STOOPID BUG FINGS!!!! - Da idea of a short, brutal, life as a conscript in a never-endin' war thrills you.
- You already know everythin' wotz worth learnin'.
- You're da second least grimdark race in da galaxy. (First place goes to the Tau)
- If you manage to get your arm, or leg, or everything blown off the dok will fix it.
- You have the shiniest bitz or you're about to krump da git dat does.
- The longer you live the bigger and meaner you get.
- Age doesn't wear you down by the least, it makes you bigga and stronga.
- Yer teef are legal tender.
- If da mekboy can imagine it, he can build it.
- And if he can convince you it works, it will (probably).
- Youz an Ork and dey iz not.
- You have the most epic warcry in the galaxy.
- Da red wunz will always go fasta.
- A severed limb or a hole in yer chest iz considered a minor annoyance in a fight, assumin' you even notice it.
- Purple iz da sneakiest color.
- Any Ork can be a somebody with nothing more than hard work and lots of dakka.
- Theres almost no injury that can't be fixed with cybernetics.
- Even if every Ork on the planet dies, you still win. Only way to permanently get rid of the Orks is with EXTURMINATUS!!!!!
- Yellu is da most explodie color.
- Green is da Orkiest colour.
- You can trade in yer dakka for more choppa, or trade in yer choppa for more dakka, and you iz still Orky enough.
- Lastly, and most importantly, da main reason it rokks ta be an Ork is dis:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reasons it sucks to be an Ork
You're the one species that is actually stupider than humanity.HERESY!*THUMP* LOK BOSS I GOT MEH WUN UH DEM UMIES!!!!- Your war cry is overused by everyone.
- No matter how hard you try, you will never achieve enough dakka. TRAGGDY, DAT!
- Your sole purpose in stories is to distract the Space Marines and the Imperial Guard from more dangerous threats like Chaos, the Tyranids, or the Necrons.
- Your army falls apart at the seams the minute your Warboss dies.
- Anytime you use anything, from your smallest pistol to your largest space ship, you have the same chances of surviving its use as a grot snuggling an overcharged standard issue Imperial Plasma Gun. Offset by the fact you can survive 4th degree burns, decapitation, being septic, and acquiring space tetanus.
- In Second Ed there was an alarming risk that your entire army might die before the battle actually started because almost no Ork units had sealed armour.
- No wimminz in your race
- No penis to fuck them with anyway
- You're part of Squad broken.
- You haven't had a new codex since 4th edition. And it's starting to show.
See Also
- Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka
- Warboss Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter
- Ork Trek
- Deffboss
- WAAAGH
- "Da Tragedy of Hamlet, boss of Denmark" by Shake-da-boss-pole
- Tactics/Orks
- Dreadnought List
- Ork Gunz
- Deff Squadron
- Scraplootas
- Da Chopshop
- Orkupy Waaghstreet
Gallery
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