Dwarf
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A dwarf (or more properly, Dorf) is a short guy who is made of muscle and beard and awesome. No member of dwarf society can function without alcohol. Even their infants are made to chug a whole keg of ale down before Mommy ever lets the baby near her nipples. (Although, given the liquor intake of the average dwarven mother, she probably lactates eggnog.) They like to live in dwarven fortresses. Dwarf characters should have one or a combination of the words "beer" "beard" "stone" "iron" "hammer" or "axe" in their names.
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Dwarves will build elaborate floodgates and use them as weapons, even as their clothes rot from their bodies.
