Chaos BBQ Cook-Off

On the 12th of July of every year, the forces of Chaos are undivided long enough to participate in a yearly cook-off.

Its a day of "games", concerts, orgies, and some damn good food.

Each year the event takes place at the residence of a different Chaos God, although every time Tzeentch hosts it everyone tends to get lost and so only he gets the food... Just as planned.

Facts

• The most popular 'game' at the event is "Toss the Guardsman". Kharn is still by far the crowd favorite. What a great guy.

• Tzeentch makes a mean BBQ chicken... No, seriously, that's the most pissed off chicken ever, you wouldn't blame him. Just as planned.

• There is a popular "Adopt a Nurgling" booth set up every year.

• There is also a just-as-popular "'Adopt' a Daemonette" booth.

• Slaanesh was quite pissed that his/her/its daemonettes lost in the beauty pageant to one of Khorne's Khornettes. The Blood God laughed his ass off with Nurgle, whose Nurgettes actually got second.

• There is a raffle for an autographed picture of Doombreed. (Hint, hint, GW!)

• Never let one of the Thousand Sons near a cotton-candy machine, it isn't pretty.

• Unless you're a worshiper of Nurgle, never try out ANY of their cuisines. Results aren't pretty and VERY messy.

• Even if you are a worshiper of Nurgle, never try out ANY of Doomrider's cooking. Whatever he cooks up has impossible amounts of Cocaine.

• If you're Kaldor Draigo, you know what to do.

• If you're even here, run fast, because Slaanesh will be after you quickly. Or don't run, if that's what you're into, you sick fuck sexy and very lucky newcomer... now come here and spend some time with me, why don't you...?.

• There is a talent show, although the 'talents' on display are basically the same year to year: Khorne tries to behead a greater number of people in one swing every time, Nurgle tries to make the best soup possible (not to be eaten, for the Emperor's sake), Tzeentch tries to impress everyone with magic tricks, and Slaanesh tries for most orgasms in a row.

• A guest singer is always 'invited' to the BBQ so the Gods can have some entertainment while they chow down on Imperial Guard burgers. Alas, the singer never leaves the event alive, either being eaten/killed/tortured/made ill and dying/molested or any one of a dozen of things by one of the guests of the party. This year's choice of singer is currently being contested; Slaanesh wants boy-toy Justin Bieber while Tzeentch is wanting the changing tones of Rebecca Black. Naturally neither choice has gone down well with Khorne or Nurgle.

• By common consent, Malal and the Sons of Malice are barred from the event, although they always try to gatecrash.

• A booth featuring extra-dimensional paradox poker with the Emperor, the Deceiver, and Cegorach as guests is also open. A curtain of anti-matter covers the booth so casual onlookers won't have their brains melted.