Bear Lore

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Revision as of 17:05, 24 September 2008 by 1d4chan>Anonykota
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We're not even making this shit up.

What's that? A large, furry, aggressive animal has just interrupted your party? BEAR LORE TIME!

Roll a Nature check.

  • DC15: Cave bears live in caves.
  • DC20: Dire bears like to attack with their natural weapons.

For the same DC regarding manticores, you get to know it has 3 rows of teeth and that it can speak common and that it can be tricked easily.

The bear lore meme started right when the 4th edition core books were leaked online. After paging through them, someone found a chart for "bear lore" which had dc checks to find out amazingly stupid things about bears. Someone posted this on /tg/ and there were many lulz to be had as people continued to talk about what else there is to learn about bears, among other things. The meme originated here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1839136/

Other Lore

BEE LORE

A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.

  • DC15: Bees generally live in hives or trees.
  • DC20: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES


Fire Lore

  • DC15: Fire is Hot
  • DC20: Only YOU can prevent forest fires
  • DC25: If you were smart enough not to touch fire, you'd not NEED the stop-drop-roll info, and if you touched the fire, it's too late to make that check now. Enjoy burning to death!
  • DC30: IT'S FUCKIN' HOT IN HERE.


Water Lore

  • DC15: The water is cold.
  • DC20: You can drink water.
  • D25: When immersed in water, organisms with lungs cannot breathe.


Alternatively, a Religion check on bears provides the following:

  • DC15: Bears do not attend any continuous services of worship. They are ready to kill at all hours of the week.
  • DC20: They mysteriously vanish every winter, perhaps to give reverence to their perverse fertility goddess while gorging on the souls of men lost to famine.
  • DC25: Bear society has no visibly ordained clerics.


Nigger Lore

  • DC15: Niggers love watermelons and/or fried chickens
  • DC20: Around blacks, never relax.
  • DC25: NIGGER STOLE MY BIKE.


Fuzzy Wozzie Lore

  • DC5: Fuzzy Wozzie was a bear
  • DC10: Fuzzy Wozzie had no hair
  • DC15: Fuzzy Wozzie was a woman?


Cliff Lore

  • DC15: Cliffs usually live at the edge of things
  • DC20: If you walk off a cliff you will be hurt
  • DC25: All of the gods know that 4th edition sucks and urge you to jump and end it all


Spy Lore

  • DC15: The knife in your back was placed by a spy
  • DC25: That's your blood on his suit
  • DC35: I was a spy all a long.


Human Lore

  • DC10: They are squishy
  • DC20: They're bastards most of the time.
  • DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK THEY LIVE IN CITIES? MIND = BLOWN


Pyro lore:

  • DC20: Pyro haet spies
  • DC25: Pyro has a flamethrower
  • DC30: Flamethrower kills spies dead


DARK LORE

  • DC10: It's dark in here.
  • DC15: You may be eaten by a grue.
  • DC20: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
  • DC25: Shoulda brought a candle.

Tzeentch Lore

  • DC25: Just as planned.

Gallery

See: Bear cavalry for more info about bears.