Twilight

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This article or section contains opinions shared by all and/or vast quantities of Derp. It is liable to cause Rage. Take things with a grain of salt and a peck of Troll.

Twilight is the next level of obnoxious fangirl faggotry, after the Harry Potter series.

Plot Synopsis

Basically a Mary Sue named Bella gets saved from a car crash by Edward, who is also a Marty Stu and looks all gothy and shit.

After half a book of plodding romantic crap, we learn that he's a vampire (as though the sunken eyes and pale skin weren't a massive tipoff).

Most of the of the "action" revolves around Bella being saved by her hot sexy bloodsucking boyfriend and ends in a "twist" that can best be summed up as;

I'm gonna die a horrible death during childbirth, and my kid's gonna look like a hellspawn all because I fucked a vampire.

Did we mention it's swamped with Mary Sues?


The movie version is so bad even the rifftrax version sucks donkey balls.

And now there making some shit ass sequel called New Moon, which is pretty fucking stupid title. Anyways Edward can now apparently turn into a fucking wolf. I thought vampires were fucking huge bats. Go fucking figure.

In conclusion:

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGEEEEEE

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