Archaon
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"Fear me, mortals, for I am the Anointed, the Favored Son of Chaos, the Scourge of the World. The armies of the gods rally behind me, and it is by my will and by my sword that your weakling nations shall fall."
-Archaon the Everchosen, Lord of the End Times
"My hatred is a thousand times more powerful than all your good intentions."
-Jim Goad
The Warhammer Fantasy world's version of the antichrist goes by many titles. The Everchosen, Lord of the End Times, Chaos Incarnate, Herald of the Apocalypse, Warlord of the forces of Chaos United, Scourge of the Empire, and now in the Age of Sigmar also as Destroyer of Worlds and Exalted Grand Marshal of the Apocalypse. His name is Archaon (his birth name: Diederick Kastner)... and he is not a fun guy to be around.
The Legend
Archaon started out as a devout servant of Sigmar (a Witch Hunter specifically, in older lore he was an Arch Lector), just as Abaddon started out a Space Marine. That's about where the similarities end. Diederick was the bastard son of a Norscan Chaos Champion from the Varg clans, making him a half-Norscan child by rape. One day Diederick, after a long day of being a bad-ass, decided to do a little light reading. Finding a little book whose cover caught his interest, he flipped through the pages. This book being, of course, completely evil. When Diederick saw the horrible blasphemies contained in the book, he flew into a RAGE! This rage was so intense, that even in another universe, the Angry Marines felt a disturbance unlike any they had ever felt before. Their rage was NOTHING compared to Diederick. Within the texts there was repeated mention of a being named "Archaon" who would defeat a reincarnation of Sigmar and bring about the End Times.
Some time later, whilst Diederick was out hunting Beastmen with his sidekick Emil he ran into a spot of bother. After defeating an entire herd of Beastmen by himself, he accidentally knocked a piece of Warpstone into his eye. While he was trying to get it out, Emil turned into a Chaos Spawn. Whilst Emil did not survive, Diederick remained human by sheer manliness (and a little help from Be'lakor). Fate worked against him however as hordes of the different servants of Chaos pursued him everywhere he went, and he was forced to fight all the way to the Arch Lector's Palace (Empire equivalent of a Catholic church in Vatican city) to find out why he was being hunted. He also wanted to know who Archaon was. In a bit of a mindfuck, he found out that he was going to become Archaon, because only Archaon himself would come in confirmation of his true self. This made him incredibly angry and caused him to become Archaon which may have been what the Chaos Gods intended (sounds like something Tzeentch would do, if Games Workshop ever let him accomplish anything in Fantasy).
That is right children, Archaon is Archaon because he went searching to find out who Archaon was. Derp. His predecessors in the title of Everchosen came from different tribes of the Warriors of Chaos; Morkar the Uniter and Asavar Kul were a Norseman (Vikings) and a Kurgan (Turks), respectively, with Archaon as the Norscan. So far the only race that hasn't produced an Everchosen are the Hung (Mongolians). But GW seems to have forgotten that the Hung exist or are (not so) secretly racist against Asian people.
He, by sole fact of being a badass, did what no other Everchosen before him could do. He gathered all of the Treasures of Chaos. Though the quest took nearly a hundred years to complete, Archaon did many awesome things throughout. This includes defeating hundreds of monsters in pitch dark, stole the horse Dorghar (steed of the apocalypse) from the stables of the Daemon Prince Agrammon, resisting the visage and voice of Slaanesh, killed a Bloodthirster with its own whip, resisted every disease that Nurgle could throw at him, and made it through a maze designed by Tzeentch. During his quest he was followed by his wife who continuously tried to turn him back to the path of good and convince him that he could still find forgiveness. Upon discovering an altar which, in Chaos language, claimed that all gods and all mortals and all magic were a product of Chaos. Any hope that there was of turning him from his path died with the lie, and when he informed his wife she too fell to Chaos. They had passionate sex, then... well, we know she dies at some point along the road. Or becomes a Daemon, either way she's out of the story.
His journey ended when he found a helmet which sealed his armor, making him a Warhammer Fantasy Dreadnought. He then proceeded to slaughter his remaining family, renounce his name, and take off into the Chaos Wastes. Thanks to the time fuckery of the Warp, the Chaos Gods had been waiting since they discovered the material plane with the opening of the Warp Gates for him to become worthy yet they still needed to debate on what to do now that they had discovered the material plane and because every other Everchosen they had elected had failed miserably along with the fact that Everchosen is a dumb idea that will never work along with the discussion on whether mortals should be entrusted with Chaos blessings along with the side discussion about how everyone else's mortal Champions have a better chance alone than some "Chaos Undivided" experiment. So Archaon waited.
The Storm of Chaos fiasco
Eventually the Chaos Gods gave the order, and he led the most ferocious and largest army of Chaos Warriors ever assembled against the Empire during the Storm of Chaos campaign for 6th Edition. Before he reached the location where he was to end the world, he faced Valten (a reincarnation of Sigmar himself), who had managed to kill Dorghar and smash Archaon's armor before being beaten near death. The Orc warlord Grimgor then smashed through his army single-handed, headbutted him in the junk, laughed at his sorry ass then went back to gather another army of greenskins.
The reason this bullshit happened? GW built the narrative around their battle reports, army by army. The problem is that Chaos kept losing. In fact, the good guys were winning so badly the only reason Archaon was pushing them back was due to plot. But GW had already pre-planned the story to become the grimderpofthe41stmilleniumwherethereisonlywar and make "End Times" be in the past tense. In the end, they resorted to having fans call-in the way they wanted the story to end hoping that Warhammer Fantasy fans would pick the faction with the pointiest stuff on their armor.
They didn't.
They chose a faction that had been beaten in the last match.
Fans chose Orcs over Chaos.
GW had no backup plan.
Grimgor's entire army had been beaten by Crom while Valten and Archaon fought. Grimgor got sick of rallying his forces, went "ZOG DIS, I WANNA PIECE UH DA ACTION!" and charged in to sucker punch Archaon as he was about to deliver the final blow to Sigmar and end the world, shout for the silent and awed assembled armies of the world to hear that "GRIMGOR IZ DA BEST!", then went back home to rally his army. This resulted in the snide nickname of "Light Drizzle of Chaos."
Later on, GW retconned almost the entirety of Storm of Chaos and instead made it an alternate continuity. In the current narrative, he's still amassing his army.
Also, Archaon is Be'lakor's biological son. We wish we were making this shit up.
Archaon's Posse
In first Storm of Chaos and now in The End Times, Archaon isn't alone at the top of the hordes of chaos. He has some lieutenants to help him keep everyone organised. Closest of all is his Herald, Vardek Crom, although officially Crom gets killed in a failed invasion.
In Storm of Chaos, Games Workshop decided to go with the Your dudes approach, creating four lieutenants based on simply fluffing out the new Chaos Champion models for each of the four gods (save Khorne, who got a custom model based on an old Archaon head, Orc arms and an old Bloodletter body). Thusly, in White Dwarf, we were introduced to:
- Haargroth the Blooded One, Champion of Khorne.
- Feytor the Tainted, Champion of Nurgle.
- Styrkaar, Champion of Slaanesh.
- Melekh the Changer and the sorcerous mutant-child Cyspeth, Champions of Tzeentch.
The characters weren't received too well. So, perhaps realising their mistake, GW has revealed they're bringing back some of the big Chaos characters from their first ever Chaos Special Characters list:
- Representing Khorne, it's Arbaal the Undefeated, giant Flesh Hound-riding army-butchering Chaos Lord.
- Representing Slaanesh, it's Dechala the Denied One, corrupted High Elf turned six-armed poison-oozing snake-woman.
- Representing Nurgle, it's Valnir the Reaper, undead soul-harvester.
- Representing Tzeentch, it's Egrimm van Horstmann, former Magister of the Light College turned dragon-riding daemon-commanding arch-warlock.
However, no word on when the above will show up. Two of them were even killed off, with Valnir being killed by Wulfrik in a novel and Egrimm being killed in End Times: Archaon after trying to bind the wind of Aqshy to himself.
The End Times made a similar plan as well with champions representing each of the Gods, and again, Crom appears and gets his ass handed to him by Valten. This time, however, the posse is made of actually known characters:
- Valkia the Bloody representing her hubby Khorne during the invasion of Naggaroth.
- Vilitch the Curseling being the top champion of Tzeentch while Aekold Hellbrass is busy sacking Kislev. As of ET: Thanquol, he's being sent to drag in Karl Franz so Archie may kill him once and for all. In End Times:Archaon, he and Thomin switch places, with Thomin calling the shots and Vitlich being the mindless slave.
- Sigvald the Magnificent being the only person of note dedicated to Slaanesh.
- The Glottkin taking the position of top 3 champions of Nurgle after the guy before them gets a Runefang to the face. They get beaten in the same book they appear in by a superpowered Karl Franz and are currently sitting the rest of The End Times out in Nurgle's Mansion.
Retcon/The End Times
GW recently realized that pushing ChaosChaosChaos in Warhammer Fantasy only turns off fans who want THEIR faction to be important (as the setting has a fair number of megalomaniacs that would put comicbook villains to shame), and as a result the End Times are finally being ushered in... by Nagash. The resident Undead BBEG, who aims to take over the world by rendering everyone into undead slaves then consume the Warp. In its entirety. At that time Archaon was seeking the Glottkin and the Maggoth Riders, and upon finding them gave them three jars of plagues custom-made by Nurgle himself. Archaon planned to use the followers of Nurgle like a magical bioweapon; softening up the Empire before he came in to finish it off. Upon hearing that Naggy's stealing his thunder, Archaon prematurely led his forces to battle.
At the border of the Empire and what was once Kilsev, he encountered the Auric Bastion, a gigantic wall of metal, magic and holy energy that he and his troops could not cross. Then they came under attack and his army ended up in a stalemate against the forces of Vlad von Carstein, the head of the Dracula Bloodline brought back from death by big bone daddy himself. Vlad's job was to keep Archaon busy while Nagash invaded Nehekhara. Naggy himself was planning to eliminate the Tomb Kings as they were one of the few forces that can challenge his rule, then subsume them into his armies and go on to kill every living thing in the world and reanimate them.
Gelt fell prey to the separate manipulations of Vlad von Carstein and the Changeling and was outed as an up-and-coming necromancer. After a misunderstanding Gelt is declared a traitor to the Empire and flees. With Gelt's fall from grace, the Auric Bastion loses the support of the Sigmarite priests, who deem the wall tainted due to its inventor's involvement with necromancy. Soon after the Auric Bastion crumbles, giving Chaos the green light to invade the Empire. Eager to make up for lost time, Archaon leads his forces in and bulrushes his way to Middenheim. Archaon planned to defeat the god Sigmar worshiped as a symbol of his superiority. However, Ulric had enough power to resist him and Chaos had a hard fight until a meddling elf wizard, unbeknownst to everyone else, stole Ulric's flame, allowing the power of Chaos to ravage Middenheim. Archaon took on Valten, Sigmar's heir, until a Verminlord decided to be a kill-stealing prick and decapitated Valten, enraging Archaon. Eventually Archaon and his forces conquered Middenheim.
After this Archaon claimed Sigmar's hammer from Valten's body as a trophy and set up camp in Middenheim. While there he schemes to have Karl Franz killed, sending Kairos Fateweaver after him. While he waits Archaon discovers a secret weapon under Middenheim. Under even where the Flame of Ulric was is a device left by the Old Ones. If properly tended to it could form a third Warp Rift that would combine with the other two and destroy the world so he seeks to activate it, forgetting that, as far as he knows, it would destroy him too. Due to plot armor, Kairos fails and Archaon kills the former to summon Ka'Bandha to take out Karl Franz. But he and the other Khornate daemons champed at the bit to start the fight while Archaon camped in Middenheim so he permitted them to hunt Karl Franz and the Incarnates as long as they gave him Karl Franz's flayed skin. During this time he gets several people pledging themselves to his cause who get used as auxiliaries including a possessed vampire, a preening Chaos Lord, the entire Skaven race and a dethroned undead king (though the latter's in it cos "the enemy of my enemy..." and ultimately says "fuck this shit" to Chaos).
Due to the machinations of Nurgle and the Skaven, Nagash is reduced from contender for the main villain and a burgeoning god of undeath to that "lesser villain that needs to team up with the good guys to fight the true villain" guy. He approaches the Incarnates and offers an alliance which they, very grudgingly, accept. Eventually the Incarnates come to Middenheim and a gigantic clusterfuck of a battle occurs. The Orcs led by Grimgor throw in their lot with the Incarnates after some skillful manipulation from Malekith and even Sigmar himself makes a comeback. Despite everything arrayed against them, it eventually ends up being ChaosChaosChaos anyways when they fail to stop Archaon's ace-in-the-hole; his custom-made, Old-Ones-inspired WMD... Largely because Mannfred decided to betray Nagash (along with the rest of the good guys) at the last moment.
Age of Sigmar
So by now I imagine you're thinking "well bugger me, how can this guy get any more obnoxiously Mary Sue?" Well let me answer that for you, with a new model. Move over, Nagash, there's a new giant model in town and he's coming for you.
After completing a brand new series of challenges set by the Chaos Gods, smashing them all with ease and without a shred of loyalty for the Unholy Quintet, and rejecting the newly ascended Great Horned Rat's offer of a blessing by spitting in his verminous face, Archaon has been made the Grand High Marshall of Chaos. Which basically means that he can do whatever he fuck he wants without the Chaos Gods doing anything to stop him. He could go around and murder the shit out of each of the gods' best followers and get away with it, because fuck you, he's Archaon. That said, however, not everyone unanimously accepts his claim, and there were those like the Gaunt Summoners of Tzeentch (A bunch of possibly-daemonic sorcerers with eyes all over their helmets) that put up a resistance against the Marshall, and end up getting a serious ass-whooping for their troubles. Once that was dealt with he went on a rampage through the realms. One of his harder battles was in the realm of Shyish. Archaon took on Nagash as he was the only one strong enough to defeat him. Archaon did at one point and bound him into a cage of bone; bad idea as one necromancy spell later and Nagash was free before laying a vengeful beatdown on Archaon's army. The two duelled again but Archaon called on the Bloodthirsters for backup, forcing Nagash to retreat. Archaon's only defeat came at the hands of Malerion in the realm of Ulgu, and he is now fascinated by Ulgu.
On top of his legions, he also owns his own order of knights, called the Varanguard. These guys replace Archie's old warband and serve as his presence in every campaign, and in those he does deign worthy of his direct intervention, they serve as his mightiest warriors. These guys are called from every walk of Chaos, and each of them find some omen compelling them to serve the Everchosen to which they follow so devotedly that they abandon their god's calling to serve him. Those that pass the trials laid before them on their route to the Varanspire (his new castle in the Realm of Chaos) are then chosen to join one of his eight circles and gain a giant mutant thing that possibly used to be a horse.
And that's not even mentioning the new changes to his look.
For a start, Archaon is now rocking some badass new black armour that makes him look much more sinister, powerful, and imposing, though at the cost of the Northern Warlord look he used to have. Slayer of Kings is also different, now a gigantic on-fire sword with a much more ornate design than before, very cool. But the real change isn't even Archaon himself, but the horse Dhorgar. Well, ex-horse, because Dhorgar is now a gigantic chimera monster with three heads to represent Nurgle, Khorne, and Tzeentch (Slaanesh has vanished without a trace) and two tails as a homage to the Great Horned Rat. Our man's now gathering all the forces of Chaos together to launch a massive campaign against Sigmar and finish what he started in the Old World, and stands as the greatest threat that Order may ever have to face. Just like old times, huh?
On the tabletop
In an interesting irony, though probably not intentional, Archaon is also in a lot ways the opposite of Abaddon, not in a bad way. Where as Abaddon tends to get changed fairly heavily each edition, Archaon stays the same with each book, with the only changes to him being armor save's not including bonus for him being mounted or whether or not you can field him on foot. Also, where as Abaddon is characterized by his hitting power while being respectably tough to kill, Archaon hits hard (base attack ignores armor and can double attacks for the rest of the game, though if does any 1s on to hit rolls have to be directed at him or his unit) although his most impressive trait is how freaking hard he is to kill. While his statline is only slightly better than a normal Chaos Lord, he has a 1+ armor save, a 3+ ward save, all to hit rolls against him have a -1 and he can't be wounded on better than 3+. Sadly, while an indestructible death machine, his cost keeps him from getting much use. Afterall, cannons are the solution to all problems in Warhammer Fantasy.
Age of Sigmar continues this trend of indestructibility in style. Now rocking a 3+ Save that he can easily buff to a 2+, a 5+ Save against Mortal Wounds, and now 20 FUCKING WOUNDS! HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MEANT TO BE THE GAME WHERE 1 WOUND IS THE AVERAGE, RIGHT? Yeah, new monster-riding Archaon is even more of a tank than he used to be, and that's saying a lot. And in addition to this, his new three-headed Dorghar can use one of thee special abilities every turn he kills somebody in melee. This can range from vomiting up the remains of his victims all over the unit he's fighting, Nurgle style, to eating their skulls and heal D3 wounds! Fucking hell, and I thought he was a tank before he could regenerate. In addition to his insane defensive ability, he can also bring the pain too. He has access to Arcane Bolt (as well as the ability to gain the spells of any other wizard if he feeds the unfortunate wizard to the Tzeentch head), though Mystic Shield is always a better choice to up his defense, Dorghar can hit like a truck like any monster, and the Slayer of Kings returns as potentially one of the strongest weapons in the game with an easy To Hit and To Wound, and very heavy Rend and Damage. In addition, if you roll two 6's To Wound on the same Hero or Monster with the Slayer of Kings, then it instantly kills them with no saves of any kind allowed. Though with only four attacks, this won't happen too often. Still, with those stats he's easily going to live long enough to pull it off sooner or later.
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Archaon, back in the early days of Warhammer Fantasy. He had a horsie.
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Archaon's limited edition model, on-foot.
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Archaon's new model. He gets a daemon horsie now.
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Archaon's newER model, now with a gigantic daemon chimera instead of a daemon horsie.
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An evil, powerful warrior travelling from world to world, seeking further power from a godlike serpentine dragon... that sounds familiar.
| The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy | |
|---|---|
| Four Main Chaos Gods: | Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch |
| Other Gods of Chaos: | Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin |
| Chaos Gods of Law: | Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger |