Tzeentch
Chaos God of change, mutation and general weird shit. Also has an unhealthy sexual attraction to birds, particularly ravens. There's no real picture for Tzeentch since the weird bastard always changes his appearance every time he sits for his yearbook photo. Some of the more memorable appearances have been: an opaline serpent constantly slithering in-place; a no-neck blue greater daemon with a skin pocked with faces that each repeat what the main head just said with different emphasis or tone; a rainbow-hued cloud of mist that speaks by casting echoes off nearby structures without making the original sound; a featureless green-skinned human in an archaic grey suit with the words "NO PICTURE AVAILABLE" suspended in the air where his face would be.
Tzeentch will always be 3 steps ahead of you, he out-dicks both Eldrad and the Deciever hands down. Just an example: He tricked Slaanesh into having a beef with Khorne which the former lost, why did he do it? He did it for the lulz.
Tzeentch's followers tend to be librarians, sorcerers, nerds, psykers and misfits, but instead of Nurgle's "I love you just for who you are," Tzeentch encourages his followers to revel in what makes them dweeb outcasts and go even further, constantly finding new ways to push limits and try things out just because they can. It's not enough that you've made this former Guardsman loyal, stronger and faster, you could also fit another three arms on the guy, and if you added a head on his pelvis he would never be surprised, and he can't talk anymore so why not replace his larynx with a flamer sac?
Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter want you to believe that every liberal is a dangerous Tzeentch cultist.
Little known fact, Tzeentch is anon.
Tzeentch did WTC. And is therefore, a Jew.
Tzeentch does it for the lulz.
Tzeentch units are:
- Horrors, sickeningly constant shapeshifting masses of limbs, faces and belching fire. Annoying as hell on tabletop.
- Flamers, like Horrors but less limb-y and way more mouths to breathe fire with.
- Skysharks, the Tzeentch notion of cavalry are levitating manta rays with buzzsaw fins.
- Chaos Marines, with an Egyptian motif, and plenty of psykers and Sorcerors.
- Lords of Change, huge birdlike sorcerers, that look like a werewolf's in between state only it's a werebird. They have the power to predict the future at any given time so they're almost invincible unless Tzeentch wanted it to die.
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO VOTE FOR THE BLACK MAN? YOU'RE ALL WORSHIPING TZEENTCH NOW.
See Also
Gallery
 This page is needs images. Help plz. |
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Tzeentchs followers
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The avatar of Tzeentch. His last known one was a Mon'Keigh named Martin Luther King Jr.
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psychics and sorcerors are attracted to Tzeentch
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Cultist tattoo
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| The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy | |
|---|---|
| Four Main Chaos Gods: | Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch |
| Other Gods of Chaos: | Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin |
| Chaos Gods of Law: | Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger |