Gabriel Angelos
Gabriel Angelos is the Captain of the Blood Ravens 3rd Company. The company first appears in the Dawn of War game.
He is so badass that he has been called chapter master without actually being the chapter master.
Contrary to other stubborn, hot-headed captains of other Spess Mehreen chapters, Gabe is cool and calm in most situations - like Vance Motherfucking Stubbs. Instead of first killing the enemies and then helping the population, Gabriel manages just as planned tactics that let him do both things at the same time.
Apparently Gabriel had to call the Inquisition after a recruiting excursion to his home planet, Cyrene, when he discovered some traitorous shit going on. The Inquisition launched an Exterminatus to fix it, which resulted in Gabe turning into a mournful bastard and also the only mournful bastard left alive from Cyrene.
Gabriel's friend and one of the only other survivors from Cyrene was Isador Akios, a Librarian that served in Gabriel's company. Isador got lured to Chaos by SIINDRIIII and his Chaos Bongo, however, which obviously led the man to treachery and betrayal. Later on Gabe fought one on one against Isador. Isador blamed Gabe for the Exterminatus of Cyrene, but Gabe claimed that he did it for the good of humanity. Isador may have further argued the point, but Gabriel instead decided to cut the bullshit and to perform a time-honored Space Marine cleansing ritual to free Isador from the dark gods; the ritual itself closely resembled emptying a bolter round into Isador's head.
The Midget Goto wrote a series of DOW books(this pleased him) which were about Gabriel's adventures, but since this only provoked Nerd Rage from both fans and Redshirts alike his stuff is not CANON.
After losing his pal Isador, Gabriel got very lonely, but luckily Farseer Macha became kind of intrigued with him and his Spess Mehreen badassery, and it is believed that Gabriel and Macha dated. In fact some claim that Gabe Angelos claimed Macha's virginity - this, of course, for great justice - in an effort to create a super Spess Mehreen Psyker that someday may become the first Blood Raven metal figure.
Gabe has the ability to call devastating and imbalanced Orbital Bombardments on enemy HQs and he has an inquisitorial, demon ass-kicking and/or killing hammer named Godsplitter, given to him by his new Inquisitor friend Mordecai Toth.
In Dawn of War II Gabe is back and now has 1. a bitchin' cape 2. like invincibility or some shit.
Jesus Christ, if You Have a Soul this Fanfic Will Make You Crazy From All Conceivable Angles
[When I first read this fanfic, it made me angry. So bad was the grammar, so incoherent was the plot, and so childish was the grasp of important writing conventions that I was lead to fume about it every time I visited 1d4Chan. I prodded at it in my mind, like a persistent canker, wondering if anybody had informed the author that he should never write again, or if perhaps he was simply left alone because he may have been a six year-old. Originally, the whole article was written like this fanfic, but I sat down one evening and fixed the information about Gabriel's life; I was able to rewrite the "factual" stuff to make it readable since informative writing is less complex. For these fanfics, however, nothing could be done. At first I changed the story in small ways to emphasize the existence of redundancies and errors, but this left me unsatisfied, because now it appears that perhaps the author intentionally wrote like an idiot. Now, upon reflection, I've decided to simply insert comments to indicate what I've changed and to speculate on why the author must have chosen to write the way he did. I can only hope this helps future generations -Ed.]
Are you Mad Human!? We must cordinate attack or we will pe... - [Elipses followed by a dash indicates that the silence has been cut off early -Ed] ¡It Matters Not Alien! [Using punctuation like this leads me to wonder if the original author is maybe literate but just doesn't speak fluent English -Ed.] SSSINDRIII and his chaos bongo stand no chance. Gabriel Angelos gave a warcry and leaded he's troops running towards what seemed doom, they d Smashed and shotted down anything that came nearby [If I'm not mistaken, that was an ebmarrassingly stupid sentence. The original author used this kind of descriptive terminology to explain Gabriel's combative exploits in his history section, too -Ed.].WE ARE BLOOD RAVENS ! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR LITERACY ! DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING A QUOTATION MARK AT THE END OF THIS SENTENCE OR AFTER PUNCTUATION ! [I added the last two "capslock key broeken" sentences out of spite -Ed.]
This Mon Keigh , tought macha its either stupid or insane! They have no tactical manouvers at all, no doubt they will perish at the might of the Demon Prince.
But the Farseer was wrong , the Alpha Legion and sindri wich had just acended to Demonhood where defeated by Gabriel and He's forces due to a very badass tactic that was applied in combat and micro-management [There you are. Motherfucking. Descriptive. In the Grim Darkness, wars are won by badass tactics and micromanagement -Ed.]. Eat poop and die! cried Angelos as he smashed Sindriii with Godspliter, You Demonfag! [Gabriel has a bit of a "no swearing" policy on his warship, the Litany of Mothers Reading Over Your Shoulders -Ed.]
How is this possible?! He actually did it!... Macha was left speechless ,But then the issue of the Chaos Bongo came [It came like a three hundred pound gorilla! Oh, man, you should have seen it! -Ed.].
Do not destroy the Bongo! ,You will doom us all!
Ignore that 4,000 year old Virgin Captain! [This was probably extremely depressing for Macha to hear. It's bad to still be a virgin after however many hundreds to thousands of years, but when it becomes such common knowledge that even the Mon-Keigh are yelling about it on the battlefield. Well, that's just sad -Ed.] said The Inquisitor Mordecai Destroy it before it leads others to ruin!
You know not what you do! We cannot allow this! Take that Human down!
NOOOOO! Cried Gabriel! And he shattered the Chaos Bongo with the might of he's thunder kickass killing demon hammer!.
You Retarded FOOL! You have dammed us all!
Damnation and doom can kiss my bolter end. Said Gabriel [Absolutely no swearing on the Litany of Mothers Reading Over Your Shoulders! -Ed].
Well done Gabriel! I knew you would do the right thing for the imperioum of man [It's heresy to not capitalize "Imperium of Man" -Ed.], now lets go before the warpstorm engulf us all. And Gabriel and he's troops leaded embarked [I can't count the number of times that I've leaded embarked to or on something -Ed.] on a thunderhawk that took them to their fleetleaving Tartarus to the Maledictum and the warp storm to their own fate
This Mon Keigh was insane! she tought Macha had never seen someone so do so much folish acts in a row [As indicated by "She thought Macha had..." the author has clearly introduced some mysterious, new female character into his story. However, just as mysteriously as she arrives, she disapears and is never referred to again -Ed.], but then again had he not surpassed all the obstacles that assured doom? Had he not defeated the Alpha Legion and its Demon Prince? Maybe he was not insane, maybe he was just too badass to be true [Maybe just badass enough to save the president -Ed.]. she didnt know how to feel, if either angry or impressed about it. Then She fleed with her troops to the nearest webway.
Ohh Eldrad Will surely be Pissed when he gets to know about this.Tought Macha as she took off her helmet. But then her toughts moved back to Gabriel, such fearless person [He doesn't afraid of anything -Ed.]. He embraced the danger with such determination that the day would end up being he's at the end [It gets really tiring reading even this far. Has anyone ever watched Manos the Hands of Fate? Even with the MST3K commentary? It's like that. Even if you make fun of the movie the entire time, it's just so inextricably boring -Ed.].
She didnt know much about her father wich was presumely adoptive, for she was from beil-tan while he was from Ulthwe. She had spend a rough childhood of favoritism during her childhood with her childhood Sister Taldeer wich was Eldrad's real childhood daughter. Tought Now, she now was among her people at Biel-Tan wich are true warriors that seek to revive the glory of the days when the Eldar had an empire across the stars. From all the Craftworlds they where the one growing back to what they used to be in the past. Strong and flourishing, This made Macha feel like she was with family at the contrary of her childhood on Ulthwe wich made her childhood sad every time her childhood she remembered [The original author used the word "childhood" a lot in this paragraph. I added the word a few more times because, Hell, it couldn't make this fanfic any worse than it already is! -Ed].
The mission she had just carried was something that the Council of Biel-Tan had done in order to aid their sister craftworld Ulthwe , and something that may lead a catastrophe for the craftworld in the future. They knew of her failure already, for the Eldar are psychic Beings and they communicate as much trought telepathy as they do by speaking [You know, sometimes I think about how embarrassing that would be, to live in a world in which everybody can read each other's minds. I wonder if we'd just become dismissive of obtuse or offensive thoughts, or if we'd have to be explaining ourselves all the time to one another -Ed].
Eldrad was furious when he heard of this news [As was foretold in an earlier part of the story. Foreshadowing anyone? No? Ok -Ed.], he didnt wanted to speak with the council but with the woman that had led the operation and that was Macha. When she came to confront him, Eldrad scolded her like a child in childhood and compared her to the succesful of he's other daughter Taldeer [I did add "childhood" one more time. It just seemed right -Ed.]. Wich had acomplished various achievements, one of them in wich she succesfuly tricked various fractions in Lorn V.
Once Macha finished enduring the scold by her father she left and decided to relax for as much as little as she could due to Biel-Tan had constant operations and the only time of peace that they knew was when they prepared for war. It was oxymoron crazyness [Sometimes an oxymoron can be used to convey additional meaning and feelings of conflict. In this case, an oxymoron has simply been used to not make any sense within the explicit context of the writing -Ed.].
She was sad and frustrated, almost crying. Why did all of this had to happen to her , she had only tried to do the right thing but she was never good enought. She tought on her sister and on how easely she accomplished things and of how easy her life whent. She decided that this was not going to help her on feeling any good until it came to her mind then.
That Mon Keigh on steroids that she has just met! The Space Marine Captain! How strong he had been, how brave and confident he was. Then she noticed it, she felt good when she tought on him , she liked it. For that brief Mission on Tartarus Macha had come to admire that Space Marine called Gabriel Angelos, she wanted to be like him but she couldnt afford those toughts for he had he's own porpuse during that time.
But now that was past, and she had no reason to fight him now. Well except he was a mon Keigh, but screw it [A common thought process among important political figures. "Well, fucking a chimpanzee would destroy my career, but screw it!" -Ed.]! If her sister could hang out with that Assasin then Macha couldnt see the reason of why not go and give a quick look at Gabriel [You know, I'm from that "bad ending" camp of Love Can Bloom readers. I know it's basically well accepted that LIIVI survived and ran away with Taldeer, but ask yourself: what's the most Grimdark possibility? Death and failure. It doesn't really change how stories should be written since the interpretation of greatest mass should probably be the deciding one, but I've completely lost interest in this guy's fanfic here in any case -Ed].
She was feeling good now, and she dressed quickly with her wargear and with a group of Rangers they whent to the Location of Gabrie Angelos, at Rahe's Paradise [This is not why Macha went to Rahe's Paradise -Ed].
This is the Second Part of a Mind-Rendingly Bad Fanfic
Rahe's paradise was really a paradise, it had blue skies, Green plains and crystal rivers [As opposed to death worlds, which have rocky plains, no rivers, and possibly a lacking atmosphere - Ed.]. It was also home of a very strong population of humans of wich the blood ravens replenished their ranks. Today they had come to do so, replenish their ranks with even more members and to fill the loss of those from tartarus. Chaplains where setting the Blood trails and Gabriel Angelos overlooked the process. All the kids wanted to become space marines but only the strongest ones in spirit and physically would eventually become one [That is to say they that all the strongest kids would evenually become one single entity. The ultimate kid -Ed.].
It was a beautiful day, and Gabriel was calm until he recived an invoice call from fellow captain Davian Thule [Then, many historians believe, he became angry. Nobody has yet ascertained why -Ed]. This was about an operation that would be about co-operating with the sisters of battle from the sacred rose. Angelos told the chaplains that he would go take a walk to pray for the Emprah. As soon as he got far enough he then resumed he's [In the Grim Darkness where there is only war, "his" has been replaced by "he's" when referring to certain events in order to confuse enemies -Ed] chat with Davian. He told him that the chapter and the 3rth company had no interest on such operations and had other prioritys [Avoiding a grasp of spelling is also used to obfuscate intended meaning from spies -Ed] right now. The reason of why Thule was very interested was because he had something for a certian sister of battle of that order but again that wasnt gabriel's concern. Gabriel, do you know how a Space Marine its born? [Where does babby come from? How is babby formed? -Ed.]
How a SM its born? Dear Azariah.... here we go with the geneseed suff. [In the Grim Darkness, it is not essential to indicate who is speaking in a conversation. We already know who is speaking. We already know - Ed.]
No Gabriel I am not talking about the Geneseed way, I am talking about procreation, there may be a time when we run out of planets to gain new recruits and thats why the Emprah made the sisters of battle. [Obviously, the Emperor planned ahead for when all life would be eradicated from every planet in the Galaxy, excluding Ultramar, of course. Fucking Ultramar -Ed.] The Emperor Made the sisters Thule because...... No Gabriel its not what you are thinking, he created them so whe a spess merhen and a sister of battle love very much a new spess merhen or sister of battle its born! [Sisters of Battle do not give birth to Space Marines. That is not how Sisters of Battle Work -Ed.]
Thule, I dont think thats ...... I have been speaking to my specialists and they agreed that is possible!. [Thule's specialists included a chimpanzee and Faptau, as well as many other similarly noted intellectual investments to the Imperium of Man -Ed.]
....... Davian,finish the preparations for the purge on Kronus ok? [Military personel often ask if "that would be ok" when issuing commands. Morale is important -Ed.] and if you need to talk about an old crush then there are other people you can talk to, I am bussy right now.
Gabriel cut the transmission and said, show yourself witch! And Farseer Macha appeared [Macha summoning powers -Ed], so we meet again Captain Gabriel are you not afraid? No Because I am fear incarnate.
Oh stop with that foolishness , its pretty obvious that you are not capable of recognising danger when you see it.
You are wrong Eldar. Farseer Macha for you Captain said Macha quickly interrupting the captain before he continued. Knowledge is Power , and we hide it well from everyone but ourselves [Obviously. One would hope, anyway. They'd be like squirrels, hiding knowledge from themselves, only if squirrels had laser guns -Ed.]. Do you have any idea what the Inquisiton would do if they get to know what have we been hidding and know? Fortunately some of them are tolerant and comprehensive and we are too smart for them [Srsly -Ed].
Telling such things to an Alien , isnt that against your belifs?
For what I know about you is that with your psychic powers you can read my mind and I have no doubt that you have done it before when my guard was down, besides you do not come in a hostlie plan. Now tell me what you want or I may change my mind and that would mean anhilation for you and your Rangers.
How did He know?!, the Eldar Rangers that Macha had brought where hidden and at a very long distance. There was something more about this human than what Macha tought.
I... I wanted to ask you something.. Said Macha as she removed her helmet. How can you embrace such danger and still end up victorious? Some other Space Marine would had fallen already but I have been observing you and.. and you always seem to be at the very gate of doom but you never fall in it.. [Believe it or not, falling into a gate is rather uncommon. I suppose a pit, on the other hand -Ed]
Hmm.. heh.. said Gabriel giving a little smile.
Because I want to said Gabriel. 'I have faith in myself and in my brothers and as I told you before I am fear incarnate. Fear is nothing more than an obstacle for those ho belive in it. Ofcourse cowardice its very different from not being stupid but that is another matter. I shouldnt be telling you this since you may try to use it against me in the future, but this day and only today I trust you Farseer Macha. [What is this I don't even -Ed]
There is something that I sense about you that tells me you are being sincere and your motifs are not of trickery, said Gabriel as he took some steps closer to Macha. She felt warmth on the inside of her chest, a sensation that she hadnt feelt in eons. could this be...
Oh really? what makes you think that.
Well.. you had been sniffing around my head for quiet some time and I dont like people to do that. Specially when they try to get into my personal matters. [Really, the dialogue is the very worst part of this fanfic -Ed.]
Macha then felt a great jump, from that warm of her chest to a cold stream on her back.
Why are you so interest on the painful parts of my life, what does cirene matters to you? Any other Eldar Witch would had tried to sniff on ther parts of information and to be honest I would had never allowed any witch to get inside my mind. But you, you got more interested on the emotional parts, why? why you? [Sorry, fellow reader, I couldn't make it further than this. From here on, you're on your own! If you proceed, you are a braver individual than I -Ed.]
Be.. Because I wanted to see why you are so strong, and brave or insane, and I... I want to be like you, strong and bold. And I always try by giving my best but I always fail and its not fair.. She is always better and it doesnt matter how hard I try... She always beats me effortlesly.
Gabriel felt the weakness of Macha, he felt pity for her but he didnt know how to help her, he didnt even know about what was she talking about , however he was sure about one dam thing. She was really good looking, those beautiful Green eyes, those lips and that red hair.. Gabriel was impacted about that beauty but again he felt bad because seeing all that beauty suffering and at the brink of teardrops, made he's heart pound. He then felt a strange sensation
Snapping back into reality, Gabriel offered a seat on a place nearby, there he tried to calm her and she told him all about her rough childhood, about Ulthwe, Eldrad and Taldeer. And about how she admired him.
That Treacherous Murderous F***! Said Gabriel, worry not about trash like that Macha. You are way better, and you deserve more than what you think. Said Gabriel, wich gave macha a faint smile. If that operation on Tartarus had been against any other marine except me, or except my chapter it would had succeded without doubt at all. I think you are a very talented and beautiful woman. Dont let you past emmotions cloud you.
Do you really think so, said Macha as she ceased to crie.
Ofcourse I do , Just loose that fear that is worth shit. And once you do then youll notice how things will change.
Macha smiled and thanked gabriel and then without thinking she gave him a hug. Gabriel was not expecting that but he accepted it anyways, perhaps this aliens wherent that bad after all. He gave her a gentle hug back aswell in order to confort her, and he seemed to feel good about it for some strange reason.
What would Azariah Vydia would say id he saw him in this moment.. heck what would Davian Thule say? Gabriel smiled and moments later he recived a kiss on the chick from Macha. He then felt all funnie.
Thank you Gabriel...
You are most welcome Lady Farseer , if you ever need help ... well I guess you already know how to find me isnt? However please promise me something.
Macha gave him a smile.
Promise me that you wont cry anymore, someone so pretty shouldnt be sad. Also I dont want to see you or your craftworld having operations against my chapter anymore pelase, otherwise I will have to anhilate you all.
Macha gave a faint laugh and putted her helmet again, ofcourse andI am sorry for gettin into your mind.
Gabriel smiled and gave a sign of its ok.
Then Macha left back to her craftworld happily , knowing that she had made a great friend today and above all hoped that one day he would become more than that. Most of all, though, she was pleased to know that this idiotic piece of fanfiction was over. Thank goodness.
[I added the thanks at the end of this story. If you didn't read the whole thing but happen to be interested in my comments, I can let you know that the conclusion of the story is basically "nothing happens, the end." As an additional bit of information, I also feel compelled to let everybody know that the original title for this fanfic was "Lovers of War," which is actually somewhat clever in the rudimentary approach that it would have two meanings. Of course, there's not really any romance in the story, and I suspect this is probably due to the age of the original author: his comments about giving birth to new Space Marines by mating with Sisters of Battle, and a general lack of sexual tension between two characters who are supposed to be interested in each other implies a strong lack of experience with lust and human attraction. I may be assuming too much, but the original author was probably pre-pubescent or nary at that location in life, and therefore lacked a grasp of the feelings associated between adults of opposite gender.
It was also probably a very sad attempt at achieving popularity on par with Love Can Bloom by writing about a completely identical topic. However, unlike Love Can Bloom, this story has nowhere near the obvious time investments, and it is completely devoid of proofreading. It's an example of the copycat tactics of the entertainment industry, really, and the sad thing is that some day this guy could probably get a job writing shows for television. Amirite? -Ed.]