Emperor's Children
| Emperor's Children | ||
|---|---|---|
 |
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| Battle Cry | "Children of the Emperor! Death to His foes!" | |
| Number | III | |
| Original Name | Unknown | |
| Original Homeworld | Chemos | |
| Current Homeworld | Pleasure Planet, which they can't find. | |
| Primarch | Fulgrim | |
| Champion | Lucius the Eternal, Fabius Bile | |
| Strength | Not as much as you'd think | |
| Specialty | Sonic Weaponry, being on drugs | |
| Allegiance | Slaanesh | |
| Colours | Purple, black, gold | |
The Emperor's Children are a Chaos Space Marine Legion. They worship Slaanesh, wear pink and black, and were part of the original first founding legions. They are the weird fat girl who has rape fantasies that no one will ever talk to because she's far too weird. There's always the temptation to be nice to that fat girl because you know she's desperate enough for attention to, if asked, do some pretty freaky stuff. The things that normal girls would dump you for even asking about. (And let's face it, most of the fa/tg/guys experiance of sexing come from this kind of woman due to neackbeards, body odor and an unhealthy obsession with miniatures , which is partially why every channer thinks their weird-ass fetish is actually not THAT weird)
In other words, the Emperor's Children are the army that some fa/tg/uys would...consider joining based on the fact that this Legion revolves around sex (not sex, in the Heresy Novels it depicts a Slaanesh-inspired orgy and the Space Marines just started a killing spree. Yeah, they get off on combat, not sex...remind you of someone? let's be honest though, we all know that Games Workshop retconned most of the sexual imagery out of Slaanesh in order to not offend Little Johnny's parents and keep a PG-13 rating), drugs (made from "rendered down" enemies and sometimes allies), and rock'n'roll (Noise Marines aren't just shooty after all). Add to the fact that Slaanesh is the god(des?) /tg/ associates with furries and other things best left unsaid, makes most anons reluctant to join the cul/tg/ratification.
NOT REALLY CHILDREN OF THE EMPEROR.
Also since GW stopped selling Tentacle Pink paint and you have to now mix the pink for yourself, even less likely to be seen on the tabletop. Actually, they've started selling Emperor's Children pink paints in the new line of paints.
History
They were unswervingly loyal way back when, which is how they got their name, and now they just use the name as a form of mockery. Their Primarch, Fulgrim, was best buds with Horus, so when Horus did his heresy thing, Fulgrim went straight to Horus and said "Dude; what the fuck? For reals." Horus knew that Fulgrim was a perfectionist with mild OCD and, straight out of an 80's afterschool special, Horus convinced Fulgrim that he could get that perfection if he tried some of these diet pills... and meth... and speed... and crystal... and by the time Fulgrim was on cocaine he did a 180 turn and devoted himself and his legion to Slaanesh.
Before the whole chaos nonesense, the Emperor's Children were aaaaalll about being perfect, in every possible respect, and most importantly perfect warriors. This made them absolutely massive pricks most of the time, because they just couldn't help mentioning that they were perfect, or at least certainly more perfect than the others astartes. Their commanders particularly were throbbingly engorged bell-ends who were convinced everything they planned or did was the perfect response, and indeed no other response could have been possible, and since they are 'Lord Commanders' no-one except primarchs can tell them how full of shit they are. For example, when Eidolen could have waited a few days for massive reinforcements to arrive behind his rapid-reaction force (sent to find out what had happened to three companies of Blood Angels and a huge but unspecified amount of guardsmen) he decided that it was the right move to just jump into drop pods RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, and took his hundred marines directly on top of whatever it was that had eaten ten times their forces. Unsureprisingly, well over half of them were omnomnomed by megarachnids, and had not Horus and the Lunar Wolves shown up at an extremely oppertune moment then all of them would have met with the aformentioned omnomnom. When this was pointed out to him Eidolon continued to be a shockingly huge dick about it. Only Horus could get him to shut the fuck up about why he was right.
Anyways even before they were getting genuinely chaotic, they were already doing weird ass shit in the pursuit of 'perfection', like genetic enhancements and what not, and that's a big no-no for space marines, even if it is a bit hypocritical for the genetically engineered super-duper-awesome-power-humans to get all shitty about a few enhancements on top of that. But, shitty they are. If you're going to get more awesome, then you have to chop bits off and replace them with robot like everyone else. Anywho they did it anyway because they wanted to be perfect THAT hard. Aaaaand that's where Fabius Bile came in. He was the apocothery that was fucking with everyone's genes. While no-one has ever really worked out exactly why Fulgrim get into the Chaos shit, the whole 'Mutations make you more awesome' deal presumably was why most of the legion got into Chaos. Exactly why they went with slaanesh ? Well... Fuck knows. It's not been particularly well explained. Presumably once they had gotten 'perfect' they started seeking the perfect experiances too or something ? Whatever. Maybe they just thought they look FABULOUS in pink. It's not important. They are Slaaneshi now.
During the siege on Terra, the Emperor's Children got bored, broke off and went pillaging the civilians. Most of the innocents they found were ground up and distilled into drugs, anyone left over was raped to death. After the Siege, they dragged a shittonne of slaves with them back into the Eye of Terror. After snorting/smoking/raping/defenestrating/dogwielding them all up, they started stealing slaves from the other Legions, which started all the in-fighting. They did manage to steal Horus's corpse, and made at least one evil clone which they raped to death later.
Marines of the Emperor's Children legions are always looking for the next high, and eschew tranqs and depressants (like booze) for hallucinogens and stimulants (like cocaine). It started out as a quest for perfection with performance-enhancing drugs, but now that they're full-blown corrupted by Slaanesh it's about peak experiences. Also have an obsession with noise, furry porn, tentacles, and gettin' high. Hey, who's the bastard who forgot about their chronic masturbation problem?
The Pre-Heresy paint scheme for their minis are purple and gold, while the Post-Heresy paint scheme is pink and black. (Or pink and any clashing pastel colours.)
Among the most infamous members of their Legion are Lucius the Eternal, Fulgrim and Trap Marine. Fabius Bile was once part of the Emperor's children, but went renegade. He's still labeled as a champion here, though.
It is speculated that the Pretty Marines' unknown Primarch was actually an Emperor's Children Captain that remained loyal to the Emperor during the Horus Heresy and convinced the High Lords of Terra to allow him to re-create the example of human flawlessness using his own gene-seed.
Gallery
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Emperor's Children's primarch Fulgrim. Despite common belief, they do LSD too.
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The Emperor's Children.
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The Slaaneshi noise marine, the real reason why Rock is banned in the Imperium.
