Dwarf Fortress

Dorf Fortress is the best game in the world. It was created in the dawn of time by Toady One. The objective of the game is to manage a dwarven fortress. The game has a very high level of detail, meaning that there is that much more to manage in the game. Dwarf Fortress is still under heavy development, and its development is purely funded by donations from the fans. The official game runs with ACSII-like 'graphics', but an unofficial tile graphics version is available, here. However, it does have a few minor quirks since the actual game does not yet fully support tile graphics.

Posting a Dwarf Fortress thread on /tg/ is a great way to effortlessly troll a lot of people.

Creatures of Dwarf Fortress

Dorfs

Dorfs (singular: Dorf) are awesome short beardy guys that like to dig.

Dwarfs are known to come in packs. In packs of FUCKING USELESS MIGRANTS!
Sometimes a proficient macedwarf is able to handle a Bronze Colossus single-handedly.
Female dwarfs are the manliest females known to exist.
Dwarfs are able to use surrounding items as improvised weapons. Btw, where did you get this floodgate? AHHH IT BURNS!

Dwarfs are able to use surrounding items as improvised weapons. Btw, where did you get this floodgate? AHHH IT BURNS!

Elves

Elves (singular: elf) are hippie treehuggers whose only use is elven bone bolts. for a bonus, you can open your magma death trap and kill them all.

Cats

Cats are the bane of your existence. You must slaughter all of them before they outbreed you and cause you to suffocate since all the air is filled with cats (catsphyxiation?).

Trust your feelings, you know it to be the only solution.

Carp

Carp are badass motherfuckers. The weakest of them makes Samuel L Jackson look like a crying little girl. They fucking hate Dwarves. Do not go near the RIVER. It is full of DEATH.

Getting fishdwarfs lost to carp can bring the fortress down in one huge outburst of violence.
Magma is the answer.

Elephants

Elephants used to be demonic creatures of the plains. They mercilessly killed your Dwarves and then killed the Dwarves that rush out of the fortress to loot the body of their fallen comrade. Elephants never slept or forgot. They spent every moment of every day plotting the downfall of your fortress.

Eventually elephants were turned into much more peaceful beings in the newer versions of the game, so now you can settle near savanna and have your revenge. The vacant place of dwarf-murderer was taken by the vicious carp.

That's how it all happens.

External Links

Gallery

Drown the world with magma. Its the only way to be sure.
Dwarf loev magma.
Those pants are going to make a valuable addition to my Pants On Fire collection!
Boatmurdered is the most famous dwarf fortress ever to exist.
Dwarfs are known to engrave weirdest things imaginable on the walls of the fortress.
Say, like this.
They also embrace animals during parties they throw instead of working.
If the squad leader is on break, then the squad is on break as well.
That's what you get for digging too deep.
How the hell did that even happen?
Dwarfs don't know that fire burns, so they pick up burning items and bring them to the stockpiles.