Dwarf Fortress

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Revision as of 02:38, 1 July 2008 by 1d4chan>Fatum (→‎Carp)
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Dorf Fortress is the best game in the world. It was created in the dawn of time by Toady One. The objective of the game is to manage a dwarven fortress. The game has a very high level of detail, meaning that there is that much more to manage in the game. Dwarf Fortress is still under heavy development, and its development is purely funded by donations from the fans. The official game runs with ACSII-like 'graphics', but an unofficial tile graphics version is available, here. However, it does have a few minor quirks since the actual game does not yet fully support tile graphics.

Posting a Dwarf Fortress thread on /tg/ is a great way to effortlessly troll a lot of people.

Creatures of Dwarf Fortress

Dorfs

Dorfs (singular: Dorf) are awesome short beardy guys that like to dig.

Elves

Elves (singular: elf) are hippie treehuggers whose only use is elven bone bolts. for a bonus, you can open your magma death trap and kill them all.

Cats

Cats are the bane of your existence. You must slaughter all of them before they outbreed you and cause you to suffocate since all the air is filled with cats (catsphyxiation?).

Carp

Getting fishdwarfs lost to carp can bring the fortress down in one huge outburst of violence.

Carp are badass motherfuckers. The weakest of them makes Samuel L Jackson look like a crying little girl. They fucking hate Dwarves. Do not go near the RIVER. It is full of DEATH.

Elephants

Elephants used to be demonic creatures of the plains. They mercilessly killed your Dwarves and then killed the Dwarves that rush out of the fortress to loot the body of their fallen comrade. Elephants never slept or forgot. They spent every moment of every day plotting the downfall of your fortress.

Eventually elephants were turned into much more peaceful beings in the newer versions of the game, so now you can settle near savanna and have your revenge. The vacant place of dwarf-murderer was taken by the vicious carp.

External Links

Gallery