Adeptus Mechanicus

The Adeptus Mechanicus is an organization in the Imperium of Man responsible for technology, engineering and most of the Imperium's Industrial production, as well as the operation of the Titan Legions. The Adeptus Mechanicus controls thousands of forge worlds (think about any death metal/industrialist band CD illustration obsessed with heavily industrialized landscapes and you will get a bit close to the idea). Forge worlds are covered in massive manufactoria or, as they are known to speakers of Low Gothic, 'work'. The largest forge world of the Adeptus Mechanicus is Mars, on which the most badass weapons ever known to man are made. Common belief holds that they're pants-on-head retarded because they supposedly treat technology like magic, the reason is because they think machines have souls of their own called a "Machine Spirit", for example, the reason why the microwave doesn't work is it is tired of heating that high in cholesterol freeze food. However, one must note that the machine spirits DO exist, and they do get into a fit whenever they get jury-rigged or put into the wrong line of work which usually ends with them assploding for no reason or failing to function at all.

They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the Imperial Guard, as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions.

History of the Adeptus Mechanicus

The Mechanicus was established in the distant past when a bunch of machine worshiping techophiles terraformed Mars. Thus establishing for themselves a permanent homeland wherein they could persue their unhealthy veneration of computers. After a while, during the Age of Strife, their precious atmosphere was punctured, and solar radiation beat down on their filthy heads. Thus, did a new cult spread amongst the people of Mars, wherein they paid reverence to the Machine God. Just as planned.

And then they joined the EMPRAH because they saw him as an aspect of the Machine God called the 'Omnissiah'. As if the parallels aren't already tremendously clear at this point.

What the Mechanicus does

They spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old laptops called "Standard Template Constructs" that have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and "high-tech for dummies" manuals). This is the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study to be an engineer (unless you have balls or are a spess mehreen artificer who make make something really good) in the Imperium: everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gibson and recorded in these STCs. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STCs found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista or Windows ME FUCKING WINDOWS 95! so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic.

Very very very very very rarely the adeptus will actually invent something. While they do adapt designs occasionally the only things they actually invented from scratch is the lascannon and all the titans except for the Reaver Class and the Apocalypse Class, which were invented during the Age of Strife and the Dark Age of Technology respectively. Which is pretty odd, until you realize that they invented them preheresy.

The Void Dragon

A lot of their tech stuffs come from the Void Dragon that the Emperor bested and imprisoned on Mars ages ago. While it might have worked pretty well back when the Imperium wasn't the festering porta-potty of a grimdark shitpit that it is today, it's pretty much a matter of time now. They already attempted to raid Mars - and succeeded, well, sort of. They got vaporized before they could really even do anything, but the fact that they managed to even land proved a point the High Lords of Terra had been turning a blind eye towards for ages. If the t-800s get what they want and party on Mars long enough to wake the Void Dragon up, you can bet it's going to be a pretty goddamned bad day for just about any human not wearing loincloths and still bashing rocks together. The few Mechanicus agents who have figured this out have either gone rogue, blammed or gone totally bonkers, ripping all the implants from their flesh. And when you're part of the Mechanicus, that's a whole lot of implants.

Gallery

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  D'awwww.

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  D'awwww.

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  PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH!