Daemonculaba

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This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

The Daemonculaba was the epitome of sickfuckery in Warhammer 40,000. It was a HOLY FUCK tier mad science project which, using stolen gene-seed, allowed for the creation of new Chaos Space Marines. It was first conceptualized by the Iron Warriors Traitor Legion, with the Warsmith Honsou (arguably the evilest villain in the galaxy) overseeing it.

So what made it so fucked-up and evil?

The Daemonculaba process began by rounding up some human females as slaves. Once corralled, they were shackled naked within iron cages and force-fed nutrients causing their bodies to widen and bloat to unfathomably grotesque proportions, which probably wouldn't have even been possible were they not in the Eye of Terror. Next, absolutely fucking mad scientists called Savage Morticans (former members of the Adeptus Mechanicus' biological division corrupted by Chaos) utilized surgical and chemical techniques as well as Chaos magicks to radically alter the slaves' insides and embed them with stolen gene-seed. The 'birthing-womb' thus readied, an adolescent human male was then sealed within -- by performing what was essentially a 'reverse c-section.'

Days later, the candidate is reborn -- without any skin. Provided they weren't already dead, the candidate was then inspected to see if it was physically worthy to be a Chaos Space Marine. If it wasn't, it was literally flushed out the sewers to die in the barren wastelands surrounding the fortress laboratories. Occasionally though, the rejected creatures survived being cast out and many of these banded together as scavenger-hunters known as the Unfleshed (who happened to worship the Emperor and built and effigy to him).

If the candidate passed the inspection, flesh would be cross-stitched onto its body and its new life as a Chaos Space Marine would begin. The skin was harvested from the flayed bodies of human slaves; whose flesh had been painfully stretched to vast proportions before being removed while they were still alive.

The system could also use genetic material extracted from Iron Warrior corpses, which would then be implanted within the Daemonculabu.

As for the Daemonculabu themselves, if they happened to survive the birthing process, the cycle would days later begin anew, with them again being used as surrogate birthing-wombs...


And then Slaanesh is just looking at all this with interest, his eyes narrowed, and he says; "hmm, that's an interesting act, what do you call yourselves?" and Honsou sticks his chest out and goes; "The Aristocats!"

It is rumored that the idea for the Daemonculaba wasn't actually Honsou's, but that only someone as evil as Honsou would ask for advice from the /d/arkest place in the galaxy and actually take it seriously.


Destruction

Varro Tigurius of the Ultramarines had a really horrible nightmare about the Daemonculaba, and Marneus Calgar ordered the then recently dishonoured Uriel Ventris and Pasanius Lysane to go and destroy it. With the help of the Unfleshed, Uriel and Pasanius succeeded, but Honsou was left filled with such rage that he started gathering an army to wipe out Ultramar.

This is still roughly twice as romantic as Breaking Dawn.



Borrowing ISN'T Stealing!

In an ironic twist, it may be that the very idea of the Daemonculaba isn't all that original at all! There is good reason to suspect that the concept, like many things in W40k, or hell, even sci-fi in general, was stolen from Dune! May what follows be corrected by any rabid Dune fans. It turns out that over the course of the books, a minor House (Bene Tleilaxu) over the course of the centuries got very very deep into the idea of genetic engineering. It stems from the old days of the time of great AI and thinking machines and human ascendency across the galaxy. And as we know, golden ages come to a crash, and so it did with the Butlerian Jihad, where humanity rose in a gigantic galaxy-wide war against thinking machines. After this war, one of the primary rules of human civilization was that Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeliness of a human mind. Eventually, two groupings arose as consequences of the ways of circumventing the rules. There was the Ixian Technocracy which only barely kept within the limits of imposed by the aftermath of the Jihad, since their machines were the pinnnacle of the leftovers from Man's Golden Age. And if they sound dangerously open to innovation unlike a certain someone, don't worry - by the time of the actual books, they've long since stagnated; to summarize, ...Bene Gesserit analysts saw them as a failing power, because Ixian society had become a bureaucracy and no great inventions had come out of the workshops of Ix for centuries. And then there were these assholes, Bene Tlielaxu. Where Ixians herped, Tlielax derped. Since Ixians went for the equivalent of techno-heresy, the Tlielax went the other way and flat out believed that not just thinking machines were evil, but that ALL machinery was evil. To that extent, they generally sought and found any way they could to replace mechanical constructs with biological ones. Guns? You mean rapid fire acid spitters? Farming tractor? You mean fleshcrafted digger person-thing. Freaking Windtrap buildings? Why all grown of course! Their ways generally caused revulsion among all the Known Universe's people, as it was pretty fucking disgusting. Of course, the Ix and the Tlielax never got along.

Now why all this lead up? In Tlielax society there were three classes - the Tlielaxi Masters, the Facedancers, and the Axlotl Tanks. The latter was what people knew as the 'breeding class', which not only birthed the normal citizens but 'gholas', or specialized clones with encodable information even before birth. While everyone remarked on the ability of this minor House to do all this, people also knew something wasn't right. The problem is, no one in the universe had ever seen a female Tlielaxu. And then there were the rumors of what happened to the females, who used to exist. Oh come on, you know where this is going, right?

Soon, the current Duncan ghola recalls his repeated "births" from the tanks: "The axlotl tanks! He remembered emerging time after time: bright lights and padded mechanical hands. The hands rotated him and, in the unfocused blurs of the newborn, he saw a great mound of female flesh — monstrous in her almost immobile grossness...a maze of dark tubes linked her body to giant metal containers".