Quest:Joan's Not Entirely Ideal Life

Joan's Not Entirely Ideal Life

Joan's Joyless Journey is a quest revolving around Joan, a little girl whose life has literally gone to hell, as told by Sir Double Faggot. She hit puberty out of nowhere and has done a ton of stupid stuff such as punching a wall and attempting to use a dead headcrab as a hat. Also, Sergals.

The threads can be found here.

Joan's Miserable Existence has shown a great deal of flexibility with regards to accepted actions, which results in fewer complaints about railroading than some other quests.

The world Joan's Unpleasant Ambulation exists in has a number of strange things, including a Robutt with a large butt, headcrabs, and zombies.

Characters

This article contains spoilers! You have been warned.

Joan

Protagonist of JoanQuest. Joan has, despite her heritage, almost no combat abilities. She reacts to the common stupidity of /tg/, and as such has taken some fairly moronic actions. It's questionable if Joan has really done anything of any value since starting her miserable life, aside from befriending a female sergal by the name of John.
According to Naga her complete lack of strength was caused by a botched incantation.

John

John may or may not be a rapist, with her potential victim having been Joan. Then again, rape is to sergals what stealing is to Kender, so maybe we can't fault her for that. Despite apparently being unable to speak she manages to communicate with artistic abilities and fearsome jaws. Mom used to frighten her, but she over it now.

Joan's mother

Joan's mother is a ditzy and (possibly) accidentally violent nutjob. She is half-viking and half-dwarf, and killed Joan's dad for looking at her suddenly huge mammaries.

Joan's maternal grandparents

Joan' grandmother is a dorf and her grandfather is a viking. They appeared when Joan arrived back in her home and brought gifts including some kind of dangerous magical book. They probably fought against Sergal marauders before, making Joan very concerned about John.

Robutt (disassembled)

This invention of the late Hitlerdad was a robot with sensual Butt Checks. Robutt's abilities included firing his Lazors, stealing and shapely Butt Checks. Joan eventually sapped it's graceful Butt Checks, thereby destroying the owner oft the most beautiful Butt Checks known to man.

Naga

Joan's lesbian childhood friend. Her constant ass groping and tit fondling somehow managed to completely derail the thread she appeared in. She thinks John is CJOPAZE and tried to worship her.

Minor Characters

Hitlerdad was murdered by Joan's mom for the following reasonable reasons...
Spy and Engy died while performing their patriotic duty.
Avenger ???
The Zombies are roaming the Wasteland.

Gallery

Official

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  The first thing that happens is our Hitler-Dad is taken away...

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  ...And then suddenly life sucks.

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  But then she found her xenolesbian lover John, and things were good! Forever!

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  John's favorite food is cutebolds.

Fanart

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