Bear Lore: Difference between revisions
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*DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK THEY LIVE IN CITIES? | *DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK THEY LIVE IN CITIES? | ||
'''Heavy Lore''' | '''Heavy Lore''' | ||
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Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!]] | Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!]] | ||
'''Pyro Lore''' | '''Pyro Lore''' |
Revision as of 11:00, 22 December 2014
What's that? A large, furry, aggressive animal has just interrupted your party? BEAR LORE TIME!
Roll a Nature check.
- DC15: Cave bears live in caves.
- DC20: Dire bears like to attack with their natural weapons.
For the same DC regarding manticores, you get to know it has 3 rows of teeth and that it can speak common and that it can be tricked easily.
The Bear Lore meme started right when the 4th edition core books were leaked online. After paging through them, someone found a chart for "bear lore" which had dc checks to find out amazingly stupid things about bears. Someone posted this on /tg/ and there were many lulz to be had as people continued to talk about what else there is to learn about bears, among other things. The meme originated here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1839136/
Alternatively, a Religion check on bears provides the following:
- DC15: Bears do not attend any continuous services of worship. They are ready to kill at all hours of the week.
- DC20: They mysteriously vanish every winter, perhaps to give reverence to their perverse fertility goddess while gorging on the souls of men lost to famine.
- DC25: Bear society has no visibly ordained clerics.
- DC35: SHIT NEVERMIND THEY HAVE THEM, RUN.
Other Lore
Bee Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC15: Bees generally live in hives or trees.
- DC20: NO!! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!! AAGGH!!! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! AAAGGGGHHH!!1!
- DC25: I'M COVERED IN BEEEEEEES (-10 to all seduction checks)
Fire Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC15: Fire is Hot
- DC20: Only YOU can prevent forest fires
- DC25: If you were smart enough not to touch fire, you'd not NEED the stop-drop-roll info, and if you touched the fire, it's too late to make that check now. Enjoy burning to death!
- DC30: IT'S FUCKIN' HOT IN HERE.
Water Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC15: The water is cold.
- DC20: You can drink water.
- DC25: Humans might not be able to use it to breathe.
Fuzzy Wozzie Lore
- DC15: Fuzzy Wozzie was a bear
- DC20: Fuzzy Wozzie had no hair
- DC25: Fuzzy Wozzie wasn't fuzzy was he?
Cliff Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Geography check.
- DC15: Cliffs usually live at the edge of things
- DC20: If you walk off a cliff you will be hurt
- DC25: All of the gods know that 4th edition sucks and urge you to jump and end it all
Spy Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.
- DC15: The knife in your back was placed by a spy
- DC20: GENTLEMEN
- DC25: That's your blood on his suit
- DC35: I was a spy all a long.
- DC40: He never really was on our side.
- DC45: The best spy is the dead one.
- DC50: NEVERMIND HE'S GOT A DEAD-RINGER.
Human Lore
- DC10: They are squishy
- DC20: They're bastards most of the time.
- DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK THEY LIVE IN CITIES?
Heavy Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.
- DC15: Sandvich.
- DC20: Heavies hate Scouts.
- DC25: Heavies love Medics.
- DC30: Heavy has a minigun.
- DC35: Minigun kills Scouts dead.
- DC40: Heavy eats Sandvich.
Creed Lore
Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!
Pyro Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful /v/ check.
- DC20: Pyros hate spies.
- DC25: Pyro has a flamethrower.
- DC30: Flamethrower kills spies dead.
- DC40: Pyros like Fire. Brush up on your Fire Lore.
Dark Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC10: It's dark in here.
- DC15: You may be eaten by a grue.
- DC20: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
- DC25: Shoulda brought a candle.
- DC30: Dark congregates around Grim.
Tzeentch Lore
A character cannot know the following information.
- DC10: Tzeentch likes birds.
- DC20: Tzeentch makes plans.
- DC25: Just as planned.
- DC30: Just as planned.
- DC35: These dice are loaded, and will roll exactly what Tzeentch wants you to roll.
- DC99: Just as planned.
Box Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Knowledge check.
- DC 10: Metal boxes are made of metal.
- DC 20: Enemies like to hide in metal boxes.
- DC 25: To maximise combat effectiveness, take away their metal boxes.
- DC 35: SINDRIIIIIIIIII!
Economy Lore
- DC10: The state of the economy is excellent.
- DC15: There is a problem with Fannie Mae.
- DC20: OMG
- DC25: You can purchase "The Republic of Iceland" on eBay for $229.99 (inc. VAT).
- DC35: Economy is a planning game. And you've lost already.
Plan Lore
- DC10: Make a Plan.
- DC15: Carry out Plan.
- DC20: ????????????
- DC25: PROFIT!
- DC99: Tzeench made your plan, and gave it to you without you knowing about it. Just as planned.
Nebbish Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Neckbeard check.
- DC20: Being unknowingly nebbish is annoying.
- DC25: Being deliberately annoying is nebbish.
- DC35: GTFO!
Cat Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC10: Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate.
- DC15: Cats eat mice
- DC20: Cats Hate you. No exceptions.
- DC35: Cats can sometimes be Girls.
- DC40: Nekos are the best cats.
Hat Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Irish check.
- DC15: Hats live on hatracks, or people's heads.
- DC20: Hats can be used as a drinking apparatus.
- DC25: Casey wore his brand new hat to Murphy's wake last night. Someone stole his hat and, boy, it started up a fight.
- DC30: Hats, Beards, and Sweden go well together.
- DC40: Commissars wear hats. Don't tell anyo*BLAM*
Internet Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.
- DC10: The internet is for porn.
- DC15: The internet is not a big truck.
- DC20: The internet is a series of tubes.
- DC35: Skynet has been born, and has sent robot killers back in time to Terminate you.
- DC40: You're on the internet right now!
Doge Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC15: Such fur
- DC20: So popular
- DC25: Very great
- DC30: Wow
Abaddon Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
- DC15: Abaddon is the Warmaster of Chaos.
- DC20: Abaddon has no arms.
- DC25: Abaddon is a(n) (armless) failure.
- D30: "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!"
Dwarf Fortress Lore
A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check.
- DC10: Press ? to see help.
- DC15: Not /.
- DC20: This game is technically in 3D.
- DC30: The red stuff is blood.
- DC35: Blood from your most useful dwarf being shanked in the face.
- DC40: That "g" did it.
- DC60: The "g"s are goblins, and there's more of them.
- DC500: You can set up a basic military like so...
Gallery
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Cave bears live in caves.
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A bear and its natural weapon.
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BEAR LORE: LEARN IT.
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Another reason take Bear Lore as a feat.
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What happens when poor spelling, neckbeards, and failed DC15 checks collide