Zarus: Difference between revisions
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[[File:ZarusIcon.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Icon of Zarus. Behold his divine smugness.]] | |||
Zarus is a god from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition|3.5 sourcebook]] "Races of Destiny", and the only official deity written by [[Wizards of the Coast]] to lay claim to being the Patron God of Humanity, similar to [[Moradin]] being the [[Dwarf]] god or [[Garl Glittergold]] being the [[Gnome]] god. Unfortunately, he's also an incredibly arrogant racist prick, which has contributed to his lack of popularity on /tg/. | Zarus is a god from the [[Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition|3.5 sourcebook]] "Races of Destiny", and the only official deity written by [[Wizards of the Coast]] to lay claim to being the Patron God of Humanity, similar to [[Moradin]] being the [[Dwarf]] god or [[Garl Glittergold]] being the [[Gnome]] god. Unfortunately, he's also an incredibly arrogant racist prick, which has contributed to his lack of popularity on /tg/. | ||
Zarus is a Lawful Evil "Greater" God who is basically the unholy bastard spawn of [[Mary Sue]] and [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]]. His official backstory, as told by his worshippers, is that he was the first human being ever, created by the world itself as the living embodiment of perfection, a being more graceful than the elves, sturdier than the dwarves, and capable of craftsmanship beyond the feeble talents of gnomes and halflings alike, such that all demihuman races trembled with fearful awe at his existence. Eventually, he demanded the earth give him a wife as perfect as he, and so it gave him Astra. Terrified of their union, the leaders of the other races delivered Zarus a bounty of the finest wine for his wedding; Zarus knew that they had poisoned it, but drank it down rather than dishonor himself in refusal. In sheer grief at his passing, the world granted him godhood, and caused Astra to give birth to the entire human race, allowing Zarus to watch over his children forever more. | Zarus is a Lawful Evil "Greater" God who is basically the unholy bastard spawn of [[Mary Sue]] and [[Humanity Fuck Yeah]]. His official backstory, as told by his worshippers, is that he was the first human being ever, created by the world itself as the living embodiment of perfection, a being more graceful than the [[elves]], sturdier than the [[dwarves]], and capable of craftsmanship beyond the feeble talents of [[gnomes]] and [[halflings]] alike, such that all demihuman races trembled with fearful awe at his existence. Eventually, he demanded the earth give him a wife as perfect as he, and so it gave him Astra. Terrified of their union, the leaders of the other races delivered Zarus a bounty of the finest wine for his wedding; Zarus knew that they had poisoned it, but drank it down rather than dishonor himself in refusal. In sheer grief at his passing, the world granted him godhood, and caused Astra to give birth to the entire human race, allowing Zarus to watch over his children forever more. | ||
Zarus' creedo is a simple one, dedicated to the pursuit of perfectionism and humanity's inherent superiority to all other life; his priests call for the annihilation of independent demihuman cultures and the subjugation of all species to humanity's will, after which humanity can dedicate itself to ascending to its true potential. Recruiting only the best-looking, healthy, active and arrogant youths to join the clergy, the priests of Zarus are rabble-rousers and warleaders, striving to foster bigotry, inter-racial war and slavery wherever they go. They call for the murder of demihumans, the theft of their artifacts, and the conquest of their lands. | Zarus' creedo is a simple one, dedicated to the pursuit of perfectionism and humanity's inherent superiority to all other life; his priests call for the annihilation of independent demihuman cultures and the subjugation of all species to humanity's will, after which humanity can dedicate itself to ascending to its true potential. Recruiting only the best-looking, healthy, active and arrogant youths to join the clergy, the priests of Zarus are rabble-rousers and warleaders, striving to foster bigotry, inter-racial war and slavery wherever they go. They call for the murder of demihumans, the theft of their artifacts, and the conquest of their lands. | ||
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Zarus's holy symbol is a bust of a smugly satisfied "handsome" human man's face colored gold, at the center of an eight-pointed starburst, with the cardinal points being particularly enlarged. The strange similarity between this symbol and that of [[Pelor]] has led to the further support for the Pelor the Burning Hate [[meme]]. | Zarus's holy symbol is a bust of a smugly satisfied "handsome" human man's face colored gold, at the center of an eight-pointed starburst, with the cardinal points being particularly enlarged. The strange similarity between this symbol and that of [[Pelor]] has led to the further support for the Pelor the Burning Hate [[meme]]. | ||
==Zarus and the Emperor== | |||
One may wonder, why did Zarus never catch on /tg/, in comparison to The [[God-Emperor of Mankind]]? After all, both deities have a basic portfolio of human supremacy. Well, that's a complex matter, but here's some possible reasons: | One may wonder, why did Zarus never catch on /tg/, in comparison to The [[God-Emperor of Mankind]]? After all, both deities have a basic portfolio of human supremacy. Well, that's a complex matter, but here's some possible reasons: | ||
Revision as of 16:38, 5 February 2016
Zarus is a god from the Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 sourcebook "Races of Destiny", and the only official deity written by Wizards of the Coast to lay claim to being the Patron God of Humanity, similar to Moradin being the Dwarf god or Garl Glittergold being the Gnome god. Unfortunately, he's also an incredibly arrogant racist prick, which has contributed to his lack of popularity on /tg/.
Zarus is a Lawful Evil "Greater" God who is basically the unholy bastard spawn of Mary Sue and Humanity Fuck Yeah. His official backstory, as told by his worshippers, is that he was the first human being ever, created by the world itself as the living embodiment of perfection, a being more graceful than the elves, sturdier than the dwarves, and capable of craftsmanship beyond the feeble talents of gnomes and halflings alike, such that all demihuman races trembled with fearful awe at his existence. Eventually, he demanded the earth give him a wife as perfect as he, and so it gave him Astra. Terrified of their union, the leaders of the other races delivered Zarus a bounty of the finest wine for his wedding; Zarus knew that they had poisoned it, but drank it down rather than dishonor himself in refusal. In sheer grief at his passing, the world granted him godhood, and caused Astra to give birth to the entire human race, allowing Zarus to watch over his children forever more.
Zarus' creedo is a simple one, dedicated to the pursuit of perfectionism and humanity's inherent superiority to all other life; his priests call for the annihilation of independent demihuman cultures and the subjugation of all species to humanity's will, after which humanity can dedicate itself to ascending to its true potential. Recruiting only the best-looking, healthy, active and arrogant youths to join the clergy, the priests of Zarus are rabble-rousers and warleaders, striving to foster bigotry, inter-racial war and slavery wherever they go. They call for the murder of demihumans, the theft of their artifacts, and the conquest of their lands.
Also, unlike the Divinity of Mankind religion from Ravenloft, Zarus' faith decrees halfbreeds an abomination that must be eradicated wherever possible, punishing interspecies sex as the foulest and most heinous of crimes.
Zarus's holy symbol is a bust of a smugly satisfied "handsome" human man's face colored gold, at the center of an eight-pointed starburst, with the cardinal points being particularly enlarged. The strange similarity between this symbol and that of Pelor has led to the further support for the Pelor the Burning Hate meme.
Zarus and the Emperor
One may wonder, why did Zarus never catch on /tg/, in comparison to The God-Emperor of Mankind? After all, both deities have a basic portfolio of human supremacy. Well, that's a complex matter, but here's some possible reasons:
Whereas the God-Emperor hails from a setting where human supremacy actually kind of makes sense, since all of the established major alien races range from "complete and utter fucking pricks" to "genocidal abominations", Zarus hails from the vanilla D&D setting, where demihumans are generally okay kinds of guy. There's a difference between calling for the extinction of sadistic soul-eating monsters and fungus-based biological killbots and between calling for the extinction of quiet pseudo-loli pastoral halflings and grumpy but goodhearted dwarves, and /tg/ knows it.
The God-Emperor states that the human form is perfect in and of itself, whereas the faithful of Zarus promotes a very specific ideal of human perfection. In simpler terms, Zarusians exult jocks, the traditional enemies of fa/tg/uys, as the ideal form and have nothing but scorn for those who cannot attain a similar level of physical appeal and ability.
The God-Emperor is portrayed as a paragon, but given some flaws that undercut his inherent Mary Sueness, whereas Zarus grabs the Mary Sue koolaid and chugs the whole bottle without shame.
Zarus's sheer smugness may play a small part in it. Whereas the God-Emperor is upheld as a legitimately worthy divinity, you can feel the disdain dripping from the pages when you read Zarus' profile, inspiring a common aversion to wanting to be associated with the smarmy git.
Finally, the most damning possibility is Zarus' bitter creedo against interspecies romance. You cannot get between a fa/tg/uy and his monstergirls and expect good things to happen.