Vampire Counts

So, once upon a fucking time, there was a bitch-queen named Neferata, she ruled Egypt Nehekhara, and was totally against Nagash, regardless of how much of a badass/pimp/undeadmotherfucker he was, so she joined the alliance of Pharaohs Priest-Kings who thought that, badass or not, an eternally living undead monstrosity that wanted to end all life on the material plane was *probably* a bad thing. Outnumbered and out magicked, Nagash's city was SACKED!

The Black Pyramid, which is waaaay more intimidating than any other pyramid, save the full-prismatic pyramid, or the pyramid of fire-sharks, was looted by Neferata and her soldiers, and with the spoils were the Nine books of Nagash, which are essentially Nagash's diary, only, he was such a badass, that reading his diary turns a queen, who normally would have no propensity to learn any sort of magic, and wasn't even evil, into an insane psycho-bitch who distills an elixir made out of her own blood that *apparently* makes vampires. Go fucking figure.

With this awesome invention of vampirism, the invention of blood-orgies was soon to follow, and Neferata had many! But she was lonely, and immortal. Lonely psycho-bitches sometimes need company, so she made all of her most badass servants into vampires, leading to an aristocracy that couldn't die...and ate people (It was much like Canada by this point.)

The aristocracy, however, got out of hand! They began to feed upon too many people, despite all-knowing hyper-badass Abborash's warnings, and all the ultra-pharaohs decided that enough was enough, and, much like Nagash, Neferata was tag-teamed buy about ten million angry Egyptians, and some Anubis-warrior-type thingies. So all the vampires ran away, and fostered their own bloodlines....with their wieners. Thus, in exile and making more vampires [which get weaker and closer to being shiny with each passing generation] the former Nehekharaians, bereft of their old status as nobles, and their access to uncountable liters of blood to shower into their orifices, quietly bide their time, and make big armies so that they may one day take over the world....and apparently kill everything? Which I still don't understand...if they killed everything, they'd starve, right? Oh, wait....I forgot about Abbor-fucking-ash,

CLEARLY the most badass of all was Abborash, a vampire so fucking RAW that he decided eating *common cattle* was for the weak-minded and only fed upon the blood of the most skilled swordmasters, knights, and soldiers he could find, incidentally fostering a race of super-soldiers possibly even more powerful than the all-too-feared SPACE MAREENSAH but that is a discussion for another day. Abborash ends up drinking the blood of a dragon dwagon after he defeats it, WITH HIS BARE FUCKING HANDS, in a seven week long fight, and THROWS IT OFF A FUCKING CLIFF. Apparently dwagon's blood is the magical cure to the curse of vampirism... go fucking figure.

Everything written above is fantasy, in actuality the Vampires of this game are just Bram Stoker rip offs.

I vant to fuck your blood! Bleh! O wait..

Vampire Bloodlines

• Von Carsteins

These are the Vampires who are more visibly Bram Stoker rip offs. They are seen as stereotypical Dracula impersonators. They were led by Vlad von Carstein and his bitch of a wife Isabella. That all changed when both of them died, so next they were led by Konrad (Who was a crazy as shit immortal psychopath - badassitude incarnate), who eventually also got himself killed. Their last Big-bad in charge was Manfred, who is now believed dead.

• Lahmians

An all female vampire clan, based off of the stories of Lilith and Lamia. Blood-crazed baby-eating bitches, sick to the marrow, they like to suck blood off of tender meat, I hears... hur hur hur...

• Blood Dragons

Vlad Tepes inspired vampires, obsessed with putting sharp and pointy things through other people's heads and drinking Dragon blood.

• Necrachs

Necromancer-style vampires who live in isolation in their towers because they love to read books. They'd be emo faggots, if they didn't GET SHIT DONE.

• Strigoi

The most freakish of all the bloodlines - clawed, fanged, twisted, and FUCKUGLY monsters the lot of them. These motherfuckers are so badass, mere blood-drinking cannot satisfy them, so the go all out and devour their prey.

See Also

• Konrad von Carstein
• Tactics/Vampire Counts