Ufthak Blackhawk

Kunnin Brutal, dat book was

" Damn 'umies. Cant even run away right!"

– Ufthak Blackhawk, Gargant Smasha

" 'Ows about I name ya Princess? You like dat name?"

– Ufthak, to Princess the Squig

The Protagonist of the novel Brutal Kunnin by Mike Brooks and the short story Where Dere's Da Warp Dere's a Way (also by Mike Brooks), Ufthak Blackhawk is a Nob (sorry, BIG Nob) of the notorious Bad Moons. His feats include, but are not limited to, killing a kastellan robot by himself, beating Kaptain Badrukk in a 'umie techpriest dominus killing contest (although with the help of his personal attack squig, Princess), BOARDING AN 'UMIE TITAN, KILLING DA KREW, AND DA "PRINCESS" FLOATING IN A TANK CONTROLLING DA DAMN THING AND ON TOP OF DAT, NIKKIN' KAPTAIN BADDRUKKS PERSONAL WAZBOM BLASTAJET, AND CRASHIN DA DAMN THING INTO A LITERAL POSSESSED CHAOS TITAN

Overview

Before he attained his current rank, Blackhawk was a Boy in the Boss Badgit Snazzhammer mob. Blackhawk claimed he was Snazzhammer's second in command, but this was contested by his fellow Boy, Mogrot Redtoof. Their rivalry for this position continued, even when Da Meklord's hordes fought an Adeptus Mechanicus fleet. Snazzhammer's mob invaded one of the Mechanicus ships and were charged by the Da Meklord with escorting the Mek Da Boffin, to its Warp Engine. This was so Da Boffin could install his invention, the Warp Dekapitator, which would take Da Meklord's Ork Fleet, to where the Mecaniucs ships had last Warp traveled from. Before they reached the Engine, though, the mob was attacked by a Kastelan Robot, which blew apart Snazzhammer's head. Blackhawk gave the order to retreat and the surviving mob followed him, much to Redtoof's outrage. His rival questioned why they retreated and Blackhawk knew that if he wanted to take Snazzhammer's position as Boss, he had to lead the attack on the Robot. Acting quickly, Blackhawk picked up the dead Boss' weapon, the Snazzhammer, and led the mob against the Kastelan. He managed to destroy the Robot using the Snazzhammer, but the resulting explosion tore apart Blackhawk's body. As his rival lay scattered across the ship's floor, Redtoof picked up the Snazzhammer and claimed he was the Boss now. The mob did not argue with him and they left the dying Blackhawk behind with the Mad Doc Drozfang, who had accompanied them. After being told what had happened, Blackhawk called the mob a bunch of ungrateful Grots and asked Drozfang to finish him off. Blackhawk hoped he would be reunited with the Ork Gods Gork and Mork and they would grant him a new body so he could fight again.

The Mad Doc, however, had other ideas, as Drozfang felt Redtoof was not fit to lead the mob. Instead it should be Blackhawk, as he was the one who was brave enough to attack and destroy the Kastelan. Despite being fearful of what Drozfang would do, Blackhawk gave in, as he came close to death. Thankfully the solution to fix Blackhawk was close by and the Mad Doc soon attached his head to Snazzhammer's body. The operation was a success and Blackhawk not only lived, but was now larger and more powerful than he was before. Drozfang then led Blackhawk to the Warp Engine room, where the Mek Da Boffin had already installed the Warp Dekapitator. However Redtoof demanded to be the one to active it, instead of Da Boffin, and the two were arguing with each other when Blackhawk approached them. Just as Redtoof was about to bash Da Boffin's head in with the Snazzhammer, Blackhawk grabbed it and presented himself to the mob. Blackhawk then headbutted Redtoof and as his rival collapsed, he brandished the Snazzhammer and asked if anyone else wanted to the mob's Boss. No one did and Blackhawk solidified his position as Boss. This pleased Drozfang and Blackhawk privately swore he would repay the Mad Doc, with Teef and "volunteer" patients for saving his life. He then told Da Boffin to active the Warp Dekapitator, which the Mekboy did.