Trazyn the Infinite: Difference between revisions
1d4chan>McNash |
|||
Line 89: | Line 89: | ||
*A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]]. | *A lock of hair from each of the [[Tarkus|infamous]] [[Boreale|baldraven]] [[Diomedes|marines]]. | ||
*A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened). | *A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened). | ||
*The first draft of the Codex Astartes, handwritten by Guilliman. | |||
*A Squat | |||
*steal Xun'bakyr's closet. | *steal Xun'bakyr's closet. | ||
*A Boneripper alive. | *A Boneripper alive. |
Revision as of 11:33, 5 February 2015
This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen. |
Trazyn the Infinite, also known as Trollzyn the Tarpit Breaker, is the best Necron Overlord/Phaeron (while technically his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a Tomb King, a Bloody Magpie and the Terminator.
Trazyn the Infinite is a preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, the preserved head of Sebastian Thor, the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Space Marine who was still wearing it. (Who according to a recent White Dwarf issue hints that it may or may not be Vulkan.) This means that he is the only creature in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the Blood Ravens. In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a Lychguard or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.
(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or Cryptek. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. Oh, and you didn't get Slay The Warlord by the way. Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")
/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet trollish attitude, he is also known for using completely self-evident aliases, which nevertheless seem to work quite well. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ever put into the fluff.
"A war-torn city in the Ultramar system. The Ultramarines, aided by an Imperial Guard regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar Creed, prepares to face an Ork incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the Imperium has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a Baneblade's main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the Warboss down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"
From Ward Himself
"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"
The Infinite List of Dickings
Trazyn is universally regarded as a huge dick pretty fun guy to be around due to his rampant kleptomania erudition and wit. Here is a list of his crimes many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the warning edification of /tg/.
- Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into miniatures for his collection.
- Sent Inquisitor Valeria fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.
huh, maybe that's why she was not in codex inquisition eh?it was revealed in codex gk that not only she survives that but also manages to add that artefact to her collection and use it in battle she was removed because GW is too lazy to make her a model
- Sent Inquisitor Valeria fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.
- Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to loot Imotekh's staff.
- Stole Sebastian Thor's head (assuming it's the real one, there's like five other museums claiming to have his skeleton).
- Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an Exodite world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
- Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles without telling them.
- Told the greatest amongst us all he was old pals with Rawbutt Girlyman.
- And then informed them that maybe he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.
- Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf, which makes the next one all the more hilarious.
- Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when Vulkan He'stan decided to just give him the Spear. Tip first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
- Twice.
- Invaded the Imperial planet of Midgardia and nabbed a C'tan shard of Nyadra'zatha, despite Logan Grimnar's attempts to stop him. It's notable that he pulled this off in Logan's own codex supplement, where most other battles in the book were a resounding Space Wolf victory. To be fair, Space Wolves destroying (and thus accidentally freeing) a C'tan shard would make them look like an assholes. I mean even more assholes than they already are.
- In retribution, Logan hunted him down to another planet, Vhaloth IV, and ended up kicking Imotekh's ass instead.
- Captured an Ork warboss and the Deathwatch killteam that was hunting said warboss, and sat them in front of each other in his collection for all eternity. And he double-checked they were both still self-aware, just to feel them suffer.
- May or may not be the one pulling the strings behind the events of Xenology, as probably he won't have any problems impersonating a C'tan shard.
Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List
- A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra)
- Magnus the Red's favourite eye
- a 7th edition Sisters of Battle codex
- The Sanguinor in a stasis field
A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector). Would be much easier to accomplish if 'Nids didn't try to keep the fuck away from Necrons and their worlds.Never mind. He gave up on this one after his specimans broke out of their exhibit and ate half of Solemence.- One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order.
- Each Phoenix Lord, including the fallen Ahra or Drazhar (just in case he's Ahra); bonus points for the originals. Otherwise, something from them, such as one of Asurmen's twin-linked Shuriken Catapults or a lock of Jain Zar's hair (bonus points for getting things from all of their incarnations).
- A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking Orikan for "access" to his time machine so he can get one from Ferrus Manus, Horus, Sanguinius, and Konrad Curze since they're all presently busy being dead.)
- A signed autograph from each chaos god.
- A mint-in-case copy of Half Life 3. Probably the hardest-to-find item in his list
- A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk
- A shoulder pad from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
- A Space Marine from each of the first founding chapters (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he cant find any marines from the two missing legions).
- A painting of one of the Empra, Tzeench, Cegorach, Creed and the Deciever's card games.
- A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
- A school report and childhood items of Asdrubael Vect.
- A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
- A feather from Sanguinus's wing.
- An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEED'ed.
- A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
- Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them surprisingly well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
- A matching pair of Angry Marine Powerfeet.
- A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Is surprisingly hard to pull off, even for Trazyn.
- One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus.
- One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.
- An Imperial Knight from each house.
- The Eye of Horus. As in the actual Eye.
- Commander Puretide and/or all of his students.
- Alive and fleshy non-sorcerer Thousand Son.
- Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age. Ones aged by the Hrud entropic field does not count.
- Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
- The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter.
- A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a Pretty Marines' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
- The very Ethereals who united the Tau race back when they were limited to only their homeworld, or their bodies.
- A picture with Kharn
- One of each type of Imperial Assassin in the position they held before trying to kill him. This wouldn't be so problematic if it wasn't for the fact that he has yet to convince the Assassinorium to send a Culexus assassin against him.
- A 1st Edition copy of the Codex Astartes with Roboute Guilliman's autograph on the dust jacket.
- A recording of Warboss Ghazghkull famous: "Wez gonna Waagh!"speech.
A STC detailing how to finally have enough Dakka. HERE...HERESESS...BLOODY 'ELL WHOTEVER DAT WORD IS YOU 'UMIES KEEP SAYIN' BEFORE Y'SHOOTS EACHUVVER!- A interdemensinal portal device so he can collect artifacts from Warhammer Fantasy.
- A interdemensinal portal device so he can collect artifacts from Lord of the Rings.
- All the NON-Grimdarkness of the 41st millennium in a bottle. So nothing in bottle then.
- Temperus Maximus' Adamatnium Cigar. Trazyn almost managed loot this, but Temperus suddenly called an Orbital Strike on top of himself before this happened. Temperus' armor received minor scorch marks when the strike ended and Trazyn's body double was obliterated.
- One marine from each chapter of the cursed founding.
- A death corps of Krieg gas mask serial number 0000000000000000000000001.
- Names, addresses and personal phone numbers of the two unknown Primarchs.
- A living Astral Knight
- A "lucky" Lamenters marine(also count as one of the cursed founding collection).
- A working time travel device create by the Ordo Chronos (if it was ever made). The purpose for this device being, you guess it, collect more artifact from the past.
- His own body double in an alternative universe, if only he did not manage to turn into dimensional sponge in the process or lost to his alternative self in a collection contest.
- A lock of hair from each of the infamous baldraven marines.
- A "My First Assault Cannon* box set (even better if unopened).
- The first draft of the Codex Astartes, handwritten by Guilliman.
- A Squat
- steal Xun'bakyr's closet.
- A Boneripper alive.
Ever-increasing Trazyn's aliases List
- Phaeron Imothephek the Thunderboltlord.
- Onionkyr the Voyager.
- Nemesor Zahnbros.
- Vanguard O'Brien.
- Trellsin the Singular.
- Illuminor Spookyras.
- Notc'tan the Diviner.
- Sissy Rack the Loud Queen.
- Dio Brando.
- Shas'O Wi A'bu.
- Inquisitor Emprah of Catachan.
- Anon Y. Mouse.
- Captain Inkoc Nito.
- Dean Isle.
- Mideer Laydee.
- Commissar Hugh Mann.
- Canoness Ivanna Purgealot.
- High Scout Henrick Day-o-midis.
- Farsighter Loldrad Gretchinbane.
- Lord-sergeant Ultramarius Sicarius.
- Archservitor Robotnik Wilhelm.
- Warboss Ghozkull Grotstealer.
- John Smith.
- Ned Cron.
- High Admiral tankcommander Pascual.
- Techpriest 011101101010101.
- Gordon Freeman.
- Mr. Roboto.
See Also
- [1] Compare and contrast, comrades.
- Epic duel ahead.