The 666 Rituals of Detestation

The 666 Rituals of Detestation that Grey Knight initiates must pass.

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• Rite 001: DICK PUSHUPS.
• Rite 001: Walk up a flight of stairs in full armor without breaking them
• Rite 002: Correctly thin one's paints.
• Rite 004: Volunteer to be converted to a 4chan server for 1 month
• Rite 004: Eat an entire peck of pickled peppers whilst punching a carnifex in the face. Naked.
• Rite 007: Kill Bond.
• Rite 017: Get GW to lower their prices
• Rite 019: Watch Gigli
• Rite 033: Come off as less of a dick than another Astartes in front of a common citizen.
• Rite 069: Sisters of Battle
• Rite 072: Sweatin' to the Oldies.
• Rite 101 - Cooperate with a fellow Grey Knight in any other rite he performs.
• Rite 101: Simply walk into mordor. Backwards.
• Rite 111: Eat an entire Carnifex. The Grey Knight is allowed to have the Carnifex restrained beforehand, but if he wants it dead, he must kill it himself.
• Rite 123: Convince a Sister of Battle to not be a pedo
• Rite 132: Steal Doomriders bike.
• Rite 141: Trick Tzeentch cultists into making you a professional-quality 5 course breakfast.
• Rite 142: travel to Holy Terra to sacrifice a psyker to the emprah
• Rite 165: Battle an ork Killa Kan. With your bare hands.
• Rite 225: Save a fallen Adeptus Astartes to be put in a Dreadnaught. Don't be seen while doing this. HARD MODE: You're not allowed to be the one who cripples the Adeptus Astartes.
• Rite 247: psykic arm-wrestling with a greater daemon of tzeentch
• Rite 248: Count the licks to the center of a tootsie pop. In the middle of a battle.
• Rite 256: Fellate a plaguebearer.
• Rite 256: Make the Emprah blink
• Rite 274: Find out what makes cinnamon toast crunch so popular.
• Rite 298: Disimpact the Emperor's bowels
• Rite 307: Visibly flex your muscles while inside your armor
• Rite 310: Rickroll a fellow commisar
• Rite 324: Beat a Tzeentchian Greater Daemon in a game of chess. Then destroy it with a logical paradox.
• Rite 333: one on one with a zerg rusher, you must win
• Rite 367: Assemble a bolter. Without your hands.
• Rite 372: Drink a gallon of milk
• Rite 373: Eat a spoonfull of cinnamen
• Rite 374: Do the Dew
• Rite 375: Fight Chuck Norris and live
• Rite 376: Meet a rabid SPEES MAHREEN fanboy and answer all of his questions without killing him.
• Rite 396: Get away with it, despite those meddling kids.
• Rite 397: Sex up a Daemonette without contracting any Chaos taint. Then you must have her hand in marriage after the proper Rituals of Courtship. This step is to be done BEFORE said sexing up.
• Rite 400: Endure being locked in a cell with 1 of every major xenos - Ork, Eldar, Tau, etc. You are not allowed any xenos to be killed.
• Rite 409: Date with a Daemonette and resist her brea... charms..
• Rite 415: Organize a Schola-Progenium scavenger hunt.
• Rite 420: Smoke his weight in slaneeshi psycho herbs. Then smoke his weight in slaneeshi cultists.
• Rite 427: Out-dick Eldrad
• Rite 444: Eat 100 White Cathedral burgers with everything.
• Rite 445: Suit up completely, including placing the helmet firmly onto your head and turn off your armor's ventilation except for air recycling systems. Do not remove your helmet under any circumstances until told to do so.
• Rite 505 - Succeed in forcing a fellow Grey Knight to fail in a rite he is performing.
• Rite 517: Kick High Ecclesiarch Brennan up the arse
• Rite 523: Prove your mental acuity by stopping an Orkish WAAAAGH using conversation and no less than six graphs.
• Rite 534: Prove your mental acuity by re-inciting said WAAAGH against Chaos.
• Rite 535: Prove you have a will to live by escaping the plant before exterminatus.
• Rite 546: Fuck a hive queen
• Rite 566: Try to enrage Bob Ross to the point of violence and profanity.
• Rite 602: Road trip!
• Rite 611: Bring Sexy Back
• Rite 616: Convince a Sister Of Battle to play a game of battleshits with you
• Rite 664: Punch out an Angry Marine.
• Rite 665: name every rite completed beforehand, the method for doing so, and every minute detail involed
• Rite 666: Repeat.
• Rite 666: Confront Chaos and return.

http://zip.4chan.org/tg/res/2754620.html