Stephanie Meyer

This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail. Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.

This article or section contains opinions shared by all and/or vast quantities of Derp. It is liable to cause Rage. Take things with a grain of salt and a peck of Troll.

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Stephanie Meyer,the author of Twilight is one of the best examples of a faggot with a typewriter. She basically is the #1 bitch who has ruined the vampire image of a stalking demon of the night to a goddamned Mary Sue emo fag who's still in fucking highschool even though he's like a billion years old. She also succeeded in devoting an ENTIRE TIME OF DAY to necrophilia and bestiality. This editor has one comment regarding her: FUCK YOU AND YOUR MARY SUES!!!!! Her book has been compared to the communist manifesto, in the sense that its not a bad book, but it fucks with peoples brains. The communist manifesto may fuck with peoples' brains, but at least it helped make a pretty badass country (Russia) and one of the shittiest laughingstocks of a country known to man (North Korea). By comparison, this book just makes twelve year old girls wet. turns children people into retards. Of course, if you enjoyed twilight, you are gay, a member of the emo/goth cult or a teenage fangirl who loves to read about a vampire who knocks up a 17 year old. (And a twisted, sick little fuck who gets off to pedophilia and necrophilia, considering the two's age differences and that vampires {proper vampires, that is} are walking corpses. Amirite?)

Also, Twilight has made it impossible to play the incredibly BADASS Vampire Counts in WFB without some stupid fuck asking if you named your Lord Edward. RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEEE

And don't forget vampires SPARKLE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Currently her new book series "The Host" is more or less Twilight but with an alien parasite in the woman's head resulting is a "love triangle but with two bodies" it sucks less and hasn't got as much rage mostly because you can make up any alien race and it lacks Twilight's necrophilia. Of course she didn't make up the race as they're the Yeerk form "Aanimorphs".

The Author Hates Teh Gay

WARNING: Contains Politics.

Stephanie Meyer is a devout Mormon, and tithes a considerable amount of money from the sales of her Twitlight books to the Mormon church. Normally, this wouldn't be worthy of any real note, save for the fact that the church she tithes to is the exact same one that spent millions of dollars on advertising support for Proposition 8 - a bill outlawing homosexual marriage in California. The National Organization for Marriage, or NOM was a front-group for Meyer's church, and it was notorious for running ads portraying gay marriage as an oncoming Exterminatus, which wound up hilarious as one politically-savvy /b/tard infiltrated the audition and proceeded to bring the comedic thunder.

TL;DR: An investigation was launched (as said financing of Prop 8 was done in violation of California's disclosure laws), and the church was fined over their repeated failures to identify their involvement in the push for banning gay marriage. Hilariously, the very arguments dozens of members of NOM used to oppose gay marriage (most of which were worthy of a humor thread on /tg/, such as claiming that gays want to devour your biosphere) had no actual basis in reality and no actual quantifiable data to back said claims and inevitably led to Proposition 8 being overturned, meaning that Twilight, indirectly, was successful in wasting months of judicial work and millions of taxpayer dollars.

Ultimately, however, the fact remains undeniable: Every book Stephanie Meyer sells helps this group which actively has advocated ostracizing gays.

So in spite of Twilight being quite gay in and of itself, and despite Meyer making metrosexual characters and plot-points that are gayer than 9 guys fucking 10 guys, she hates her those gays.

Telling fans this tends to make their brains shift gears without the clutch, resulting in epic lulz.

IN CONCLUSION

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

See Also

• Twilight
• fag