Scraplootas

The Scraplootas, Orks extrordinaire. Except without many Orks. And a lot of Grots.

Who are the Scraplootas?

Da Orky Tribe Flag

The Scraplootas are a minor Ork tribe who managed to net a surprising victory in stealing a Chaos titan, and making it their own. The Tribe had a very high number of Snotlings and Gretchin, and their primary tactic was to swarm the enemy with wave after wave of Grots before sending the boyz in, this ended up working in their favor during the looting of the titan. They sent an army of Grots in a suicide mission to capture the titan at all costs, and in an utter miracle (Mostly due to a simultaneous assault by the Blood Jaguars Chapter at the other end of the base), they managed. Overwhelming the chaos forces at the cost of almost the entire tribe, they successfully forced the chaos out of the district, and took the Titan as a prize. In the aftermath, almost all of the Orkish forces left alive were either Kommandos or Grots, leading to a strategy of supporting the Titans raw firepower with endless hordes of Grots and surgical strikes.

To move their Titan from battlefield to battlefield, the Scraplootas had to carve out most of the interior of the Loot Hava' (An old Imperial cargo ship that had been re-fitted by Void Pirates with extra weapons, larger engines, and boarding pods before being taken by the Orks) and convert it into a makeshift Titan-Carrier. The Warband works for the highest Orky (Or otherwise) bidder, taking food, beer, teef, shiny bitz, weapons, and scrap to keep their Titan functioning and armed as payment for their services.

Recently, word of the Warbands high number of Kommandos and unusually strategic method of war (Named "Swashkrumping" by Urtylug) drew a wave of Kommando and Stormboy Freebooterz, as well as many Blood Axes Orks to the banner of Warboss Urtylug, bringing their full strength to roughly 160 Orks and adding a handful of Trukks and a single looted Leman Russ tank to their arsenal.

With the influx of Freebooterz and Blood Axes, the Warboss has been convinced to start hiring out the services of his Warband to non-Orks, working for a desperate Planetary Governor, a Rogue Trader, several Chaos Warbands (Which they betrayed immediately after the job), a small but prosperous independent human empire, and on several occasions Craftworld Eldar under the command of Farseer Vaedrisa, who has started cultivating the Warband as preferred pawns to further the Craftworlds ends after their startling and highly improbable early victories, although it is rumored that she has begun to take an unhealthy interest in the Orks.

Notable characters

Warboss Urtylug "Titanloota" Dursnik

Although known for krumpin' a whole lot of Dark Eldar, Dursnik's proudest moment was definitely the capturing of the Chaos Titan. He was so proud of it, he put it into his name and refused to let his boys scrap the Titan for gubbins, instead insisting that they orkify it. He claims the success was due to his tactical genius, but really it was more because he had more Grots than sense. That said, having lost most of his boys lead Urtylug to do things a lot more cunning than he would otherwise. He had personally trained a large number of his boys to be a swashkrumper like him, and his mentor, Waarkton, before him. These swashkrumpers and the Kommandos lead by Rockeata lead the Scraplootas to decisive victory. Mostly because they've got a Titan for back up.

Urtylug is known for his affinity for mugs. His collection of looted mugs is vast and he drinks squig tea and coffee religiously from them. He has two grots specifically for mug and tea duty: Tapp and Spiggot.

Big Mek Tinka Zizzbitz (Blue's mentor)

Zizzbitz is the most prominent Mekboy in the tribe, and the first mate to the Warboss' captain. He often lounges about, ordering around grots and Blue instead of doing things himself. He also enjoys sleeping in. But this mucking about doesn't mean he's lazy. Whenever something breaks down, he is often the first one at the scene, trying to repair it before handing the job off to another Ork if he thinks it doesn't need his personal attention. He was handpicked by Urtylug back when being Big Mek and Warboss was just a faraway dream. Zizzbitz later saved Urtylug's life on the battlefield, losing his eye in the process. There is mutual respect between him and Urtylug, and they will often get together to drink tea and talk about battles and lootings both past and future.

Boris the Titan

After beating up every other Ork who tried to get in his way, Boris was allowed to pilot the Titan. He was a decent pilot so far as first-time pilots for Titans usually were, but he enjoyed it so much he decided he wasn't going to let anyone else have a go. Ever. Since then, Boris has never left the controls of the Titan, even sleeping and eating while hooked up. Overlong exposure to the ruinous forces that once inhabited the titan and kind of still do has driven Boris slightly mad. He now believes he IS the Titan, speaking through its PA system, referring to himself as Boris the Titan, and smashing anyone who tries to take his "body" away from him.

Fortunately, Boris still believes the Warboss Urtylug is in charge, so he follows orders like any other Ork, albeit a bit bigger. The Titan itself is kept running by countless numbers of grots in the inside, who somehow manage to keep the smoky, hellish insides of the Orkified Titan working.

Titanopolis - The Titan Bureaucracy

Interestingly, the Grots inside the Titan, sheltered from normal Orkish life, have created a functional political system. It started when the Gretchen who led the original attack that secured the Titan claimed leadership of the grots inside Boris, and delegate different jobs to all the rest of them. Since then, after several coups and uprisings, an effective bureaucracy and streamlined system of management was formed in the underbelly of the titan, calling the shots while catering to Boris. All of this goes on unknown to the tribe, and even Boris, who only notices when they are late with his lunch. The Grotocracy has been described as part corporation, part democracy, part mafia.

Threegrot

Threegrot is a unique manifestation in the Scraplootas, and is perhaps the ideal example of what exactly was weird with the tribe. The large number of grots in combination with possible warp corruption from the daemon core still at the heart of the Titan, led to an increased number of Weirdgrots and Weirdsquigs. Three of those Weirdgrots decided that they were sick of being seen as just more grots in the mob, kicked by Orks and overlooked by the Grotocracy. They teamed up, standing on top of each other in order to form a figure about the same height as an Ork. And some how this allowed them to fit in with Orkish society (mostly).

As Weirdgrots, they use their psychic powers to convince other Orks that they're actually a full Weirdboy who was on the skinny side. The Orks value "his" help, so they don't pay Threegrot's peculiar appears any heed. Whenever asked why "he" called himself Threegrot, "he" replies "Cuz' I'm as powerful as three Grots. Now piss off."

Fizzgutz Da Klerik

Fizzgutz is another anomaly. Originally just another lazy nob, he now has a much higher opinion of himself and believes he is a priest. He constantly quotes from "Da Buk" (which he has never read, as he is illiterate and considers reading to be unorky), and often gives aid to Orks with moral dilemmas. These usually boil down to "Is the problem fixed if you chop it? What if you shot it?"

His epiphany came when he picked up a book that had fallen out of Boris the Titan. Upon inspecting the book, a nearby Ork caught fire and all of the surrounding grots said he must have done it, with the power of the book. Fizzgutz interpreted this as a message from Gork, that he must become the spiritual leader of Boris, and take the role of Priest for all the Grots.

If anyone questions him, he replies that he is "on a mission from Gork", and that they should heed the words of Da Buk. Then he bashes them over the head with it for good measure.

Blue

The one that started all this madness. A Blue Ork. See the page for Blue for more information.

Derknitt

Derknitt is an ork you don't want to see if you aren't green. Even if you are green you are unlikely to see him anyway. A kommando nob and the sneakiest git aboard Boris, he is the hand of Fizzgutz and da Buk. On a mission to keep Boris right an' orky he has a lot of work to do: When walls grow faces and start screaming he screams right back until they shut up. When boys start saying the guns are whispering to to them he krumps them good, when Weirdboyz or Weirdgrotz explode into Daemons he's the first to get stukk in. He begrudgingly works with the higher ups at the Grotocracy to keep the daemon core of the titan subdued with plenty of Weirdgrots and Weirdsquigs. In his obsession to keep everything mean and green he has developed a grudge against Blue, for being a constant thorn in his side and outsmarting him whenever possible. He also hates by extension the Big Mek Zizzbitz and perhaps even Warboss Urtylug for allowing Blue to stay. Derknitt gets krumped good whenever he tries to fight Urtylug for being unorky on account of how cunning and big the boss is, though Derknitt suspects it may also be something in the squig tea.

Rockeata Brugg

Rockeata is the Chief kommando of the Scraplootas and quite possibly the oldest ork of the tribe. Despite this, he's not the biggest by a long shot and has no desires to become Warboss. Instead, Rockeata simply wants to be sent out on the stealthiest of missions to hunt and stalk the most dangerous game the galaxy has to offer. After spying on a band of Kroot for several days, Rockeata picked up the curious habit of eating rocks, along with his current name, due to the old Kommando hearing one of them say "You are what you eat". Because of this, Rockeata eats rocks whenever he's out on a hunt, thinking it'll make him as tough and as patient as one. Any kommando who complains too loudly will also be encouraged to join Rockeata in his snacking, thus making the Scraplootas curiously efficient at holding an ambush until the most opportune moment instead of just charging the moment they see the enemy. Rockeata is also infamous for rattling off old war stories, his favorite hunts, and feats of grandiose impossibility. Some of these may even be true.

Snekkit

Simpleminded and easygoing, Snekkit is easily the largest kommando of the Scraplootas. Originally a basic nob, Snekkit always dreamed of being a kommando and spent most of his free time listening to Rockeata's tales of glory. Even now, he follows the old addle-brained ork around just about everywhere, contentedly listening to all of his tales, even the ones he had already heard before. After the looting of the titan wherein the Scraplootas lost most of their army, Snekkit finally got the chance to live out his dream as Urtylug restructured his army, giving all of his boys the choice to either learn how to be a kommando or to learn how to swing and jump about the titan while fighting in what the Warboss called "Swashkrumpin". Snekkit is also incredibly fond of Blue, preferring to take her out on sorties with him due to her incredible luck and his amusement at her many contraptions and inventions. This has earned him many a beating from Tinka Zizzbitz, who remains protective of his prized lucky grot. Even still, Snekkit still steals Blue away from the Big Mek whenever he isn't looking, much to Blue's joy.

Farseer Vaedrisa and Warlock Zielt

"Fanseer" Vaedrisa is a high ranking Eldar with a hidden passion for the Scraplootas. She claims her interest is for the sake of the craftworld in her care, but her actions lead those close to her to skepticism. Vaedrisa's tips and flirtatious advice for Urtylug lead the Scraplootas to several successful campaigns, including the looting of the Titan. These actions have taken care of many of her craftworld's enemies and potential threats to the Eldar cause, fueling an uneasy peace for the craftworld. There is talk about their Farseer squeeing over a Warboss and having depressive fits over never being able to be an Ork herself. Needless to say, the Eldar of her craftworld are less than pleased with the idea of their Farseer intrigued by, jealous of, and slightly attracted to a Blue Ork.

Warlock Zielt is the Farseer's aide and buttmonkey, often being used as not much more than a sounding board for whacky ideas. His pessimism and neophobia test Vaedrisa's shenanigans and plans, and usually only serve to further convince her that her shenanigans and plans are solid, no matter how farfetched they actually are. This is all to Zielt's chagrin.

Shas'El K'Lem P'rer and Shas'Vre Pan'zah

Tau Commander K'Lem and his bodyguard and personal aide Pan'zah are the leaders of a Tau army. Initially they set down on a certain human world on the edge of the Tau sept to annex it as another colony world for the greater good. Upon finding out that not only were the Scraplootas on the same world (K'Lem had been there when they ransacked another colony world years ago.), but also had a Tau 'slave', they decided to rescue her first and foremost before finally destroying the Scraplootas and avenging the Tau colony worlds, and taking their current world. They did manage to "rescue" her for a brief moment before the Scraplootas freed her and stole K'Lem's clothes. Now K'Lem P'rer is obsessed in rescuing and re-educating Blue, while Pan'zah stands by him, ready to bail them out of yet another humiliating defeat by the hands of Scraplootas.

K'Lem P'rer can perhaps be described as a proper gentleman and a bit of a white knight. He hopes to best the Scraptlootas for honor and to avenge the looted colony world. He wants to save and re-educate Blue not because of any vested personal interest, but rather because she is a damsel-in-distress in his eyes and deserves to be reintegrated into the Tau for the Greater Good. These ideals often leave him airy and floating, meaning Pan'zah has to keep his Sahs'El on a leash. K'Lem sees Pan'zah as merely a yes-man, not knowing that the Shas'Vre harbors his own fantasy about becoming Shas'El.

Quotes

"SEND FORTH YOUR ANGELS OF DEATH, GOD-EMPEROR, FOR I AM AN ENJUN OF DESTRUCTION! ALL SHALL BE CRUSHED BENEATH MY BOOT, ALL SHALL BE TURNED TO ASH BY MY DAKKA, I AM UNSTOPPABLE, I AM - no, get away from dat you lousy git! Dis is my speaky stick, not yers! Get back ta werk afore I krump ya hard ya worthless grot! - AS I WAS SAYIN, I AM BORIS DA TITAN! WAAAAAAGH"

"Dere are three gods in dis world you'z gotta worry about: Gork, Mork, and ME! BORIS DA TITAN! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"

---

"Sir, the left elbow seperatist movement has taken up arms."

"They are fighting against us with weapons?"

"No sir. They've jammed the elbow mechanism, so the arms are up."

---

You will never hear an orky version of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yvoRtHSQ4Y

Look, he's crashing down my wall

Steel and shooty, very tall

Now he's up above my head

Crushing, smashing, we're all dead

Boris the Titan

Boris the Titan

Now he's blown the hab block floor

Heading for the fortress door

No way he's as scared as me

Where's he gone now, I can't-CREEED

Boris the Titan

Boris the Titan

Shooty, choppy

Shooty, choppy

Shooty, Shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, Shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, Shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, Shooty, choppy, choppy

There he is stuck in a wall

Doesn't seem to move at all

Praying he's dead, I'll just make sure...

By the emprah he kills more!

Boris the Titan

Boris the Titan

Shooty, choppy

Shooty, choppy

Shooty, shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, shooty, choppy, choppy

Shooty, shooty, choppy, choppy

Our world is come to an end

Don't think we can ever mend

All around us, we hear the sound

Space marines crushed in the ground

Boris the Titan

Boris the Titan

Writefaggotry

Zizzbitz' busy day.

It had been a very productive day for the Scraplootas. They were in between jobs, after having just finished a raid on a small Tyranid breeding world that had been very recently colonized. Some pointy head wanted the rocks or some other inane thing the boyz didn't care to remember. A handful of the smaller Tyranids had been caught, and Fizzgutz was very busy smacking them around with 'Da buk', and explaining to the creatures that they must 'repaint' before Gork & Mork, or be brutalized in a fashion so cunning that their hive mother would feel it. While he was doing this, the chained beasts were getting alot of attention from Blue, who was busy putting some gubbins and bitz together on their heads and backs to make em more orky and more usable. The bigger of the captives was getting a fine shoota hoisted onto its back by some grots and another was having a few choppas attached to its face. Zizzbitz couldn't be more proud, but he had work of his own to do. There was a particular project he had been working on in secret for some time now, one that was about ready to be finished after he got his hands on some new shiny gubbins that he needed from the last humie battle.

He lumbered past, and gave Blue a pat on the head and as he winked, telling her to keep up the good work and make sure the captured tyranids were carrying all the dakka their legs could lift. She beamed at her mentor and nodded vigorously and began work again twice as enthused. Zizzbitz entered his private workshop tent and hoisted his creation onto the table. It was half of an engine from some humie troop carrier, and had some of those fuel tanks from the pointy heads, and plenty of good old fashioned orky gubbins with three rockets recklessly attached to the back. Zizzbitz got to work, using a crate of bitz he'd had Blue put together yesterday. He began tinkering like a madman.

This was going to be his magnum opus, he just knew it. He was going to do as few orks had done before. He slaved away tirelessly for three days, chopping up shootas, choppas, gubbins, bitz, and fitting them all in over and over. He added two handles that came around the side and fit into his hands, both with two buttons each. His right hand had a proppa shoota, and his left hand had choppa launcha like Blue had helped him learn to make, and it was being fitted more and more, Squig leather buckles and belts and straps a plenty attached. Last but not least of course, as much of it was painted as red as possible. Zizzbitz fell asleep at his work desk, and when he awoke, he had some red paint on his face a bit from the way he slept, but the paint had dried on his creation.

It was time. He strapped it onto his back, and took the controls in his hands, and walked from the tent proudly exclaiming that he was finally done with the 'flydakka'. He ran over to where Blue was putting the finishing touches on one of the Tyranid captives. A basket on the back that would allow her to ride on it around the camp or carry materials, complete with a remote control.

She barely noticed him before he scooped her up, and shouted gruffly in her ear 'Blue ya gonna think this is right proppa in just a minute, and you gonna know dis is why Im da top mekboy roun' here' He hastily put an extra couple of strap around her torso and crossed his arms to have his right hand in the left control and right hand in the other, to give him a tight grip of Blue to his chest. He turned on the ignition and took off. Zizzbitz was flying, and holding Blue, zipping around the campsite as the Grots and Orks gazed in awe. He zoomed up and around Boris, eventually landing on one of the towers on his back, and then taking off again, cackling maniacally. Blue was thrilled, and Zizzbitz was awarded much merit as 'da fastest Ork in da sky' by the tribe. It was a very productive day for the Scraplootas.

Detailed information

WHAT KIND OF TRIBE ARE WE?

>Freelooterz, wiv a lot uv' Blood Axez boyz too.

COLOR

>Yellow

Our LEGENDARIEZT BOY

>Warboss/Kaptin

GORK or MORK?

>Gork

WUT E DID WUZ

>Krumped loads o' spikey pointy 'eads (Dark Eldar)

HOW MANY BOYZ WE GOT LEFT?

>We'z short a bunch o' gits, but we can round up more!

We got lotsa boyz in our tribe, but wot've we got more of dan otha tribes?

>Grots

See dem gits ova dere? Deyz off limits until I sez so. Got it?!

>Da pointy-hed pansyboyz

See dem gits ova dere? Krump 'em.

>Da pointy-hed, pointy-arms, pointy-errythin' emoboyz

Wot's da biggest, most aweshum thing we've eva' looted? WELL? WOT IZ IT DEN?!

>One o' dem spiky 'umie Titans

WE AVENGED OUR BOYZ WHO GOT KRUMPED BY DAT SPIKY 'UMIE TITAN!

Wot did we do wit it?

>We made it orkier!

Various Writefaggotry

The Scraplootas Are Far From Finished: http://pastebin.com/pugGYV1a

Dat Blue Grot: http://pastebin.com/PXGCHevy

Snekkit in Operayshun: Blow It All ta Zog: http://pastebin.com/7xxkkvdw

The Tau and Blue: http://pastebin.com/qZsFgCQ4

Blue/Fanseer Gone Wider: http://pastebin.com/hvBwifT9

'Ow I Found Meself by Boris da Titan: http://pastebin.com/HrZpiv1z

Da Minitrukk Job: http://pastebin.com/cT6VKZx4

Scraploota Sortie: http://pastebin.com/vJeL9qy7

Gallery

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  Threegrot, the "weirdboy"

• 

  Fizzgutz Da Klerik, with his holy tome.

• 

  Some of the higher ups in Titanopolis.

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  Warboss Urtylug "Titanloota" Dursnik, accompanied by Tapp and Spiggot.

• 

  OI IZ VENGEANCE. OI IZ DA NOIGHT.

• 

  The Shas'El and his right hand man.