Middle East

This article or section is about a topic that is particularly prone to Skub (that is, really loud and/or stupid arguments). Edit at your own risk, and read with a grain of salt, as skubby subjects have a bad habit of causing stupid, even in neutrals trying to summarize the situation.

A thousand sights, a thousand nights, a thousand years, a thousand tears...

"They say in the Middle East - a pessimist is simply an optimist with experience."

– Ehud Barak

The Middle East is a region that broadly spans from Egypt in the west to India in the east with northern and southern borders being the Black & Caspian sea and the Arabian Sea respectively. In the middle of all of this is over 6000 years of civilization, at least half-a-dozen awesome and significant cultures, more history than you can shake a...anything at really and also a fuckton of culture, wars and mineable stuff. The importance of the region and it's myriad of cultures has not lessened in the 20th and 21st centuries as the region continues to be, if not exactly influential, then influenced due to the resources and politics going on around it and within it.

Since it is Europe's closest neighbour, the region and it's societies have been interacting with the smorgasbord of Europe's cultures since at least the Bronze Age so there are a number of analogues of Middle Eastern societies in fantasy and even sci-fi. Dungeons and Dragons has Al-Qadim, Lord of the Rings has Harad, Game of Thrones has Mereen and so on. And this is not even counting Video Games either.

Middle Eastern History

The Middle East, being one of the ¨cradles of civilization¨ has metric gigatons of history under it's belt, more than even China so the sections below will be the broadest overviews by necessity. Still the history van be roughly divided into 4 periods with a number of sub-periods within each. So strap yourself in as we dive into the deep end of history.

Ancient History (4000 BC - 500 AD)

Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of...

After the period of various neolithic cultures discovering agriculture, the first human towns and city-states began to form (these could go back to as early as 9000-7000 BC as attested by Catal Huyuk and Jericho). The most prominent cities of this period were Uruk, Babillon, Elam and others. Two civilizations of note arose in this era around 3500 BC - Sumer and Akkad which are famous for their ziggurats (OG pyramids) and for laying the basis for much of civilization in the west since their stuff was picked up by Egyptians, then Greeks and so on. In about 2340 BC Sargon the Great united the various city-states in the south and thus founded the Akkadian dynasty - the world's first empire.

This set a kind of precedent for future powerful empires that would come to rule almost the entire Middle East. After Akkadians, of note are the Assyrian Empires of 1365–1076 BC and the Neo-Assyrian Empire of 911–605 BC. The Assyrian Empire at its peak was the largest the world had yet seen. It ruled all of what is now Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Palestine, Kuwait, Jordan, Egypt, Cyprus, and Bahrain—with large swathes of Iran, Turkey, Armenia, Georgia, Sudan, and Arabia.

From the early 6th century BC onwards there were several Persian states that dominated the region, beginning with the non-Persian Neo-Babylonian Empire, then their successor the Achaemenid Empire also known as the first Persian Empire. In the 300s BC a gigachad guy called Alexander the Great decided that he wanted to rule the world and so he went ahead and conquered everything from Greece to Egypt all the way to the border of India. Sadly he died just as he was getting to the process of ruling his mega-empire and in a final moment of chadery he declared that his empire would belong "to the strongest" and within 5 minutes there were a bunch of successor empires like the Seleucids, Bactrians, Ptolemaic Egypt and others, and virtually all of them had a city called Alexandria but the one in Egypt mattered most.

After Alexander, the various Alexandrian successor states were dicking around with each other, not noticing the big roman-shaped shadow rising in the west. In 66–63 BC the Roman general Pompey got shit done and conquered much of the Middle East in one fell swoop. The Romans united the region into yet another giga-empire and integrated the region with most of Europe and North Africa in terms of politics and economics, not to mention the globalising effect of free transit for imperial citizens and dependents. Even areas not directly under Rome were strongly influenced by the Empire which was the most powerful political and cultural entity for centuries.

Though Romans brought much of their culture, law and customs to the region, the Greek culture and language continued to dominate as well, being another strong cultural factor. The region effectively became the Empire's "bread basket" as the key agricultural producer and as a somewhat of a consolation for egyptians who survived as a culture this long - Ægyptus became by far the most wealthy Roman province and a center of learning.

It's also worth mentioning that to the east of Roman Empire were also two major polities - the Parthian and the Kushan empires. The former represented a constant threat to Rome's eastern boundaries before transitioning into the Sassanid Empire due to internal strife while Kushan would do it's own thing. There is also evidence of Tang China doing trade with the region and even being aware of Rome. Lastly, starting from the 30s AD - Christianity would see a significant spread from Palestine/Judea though it would not advance much farther east than Euphrates-Tigris border in a significant manner.

After the fragmentation of the Western Roman Empire, the eastern half decided that it really liked the color purple and rebranded itself as...the Roman Empire (Byzantium being an anachronistic modern name but we will roll with it for the sake of convenience). Byzantium continued to trudge along, occupying the western portion of the region and even expanding to reconquer a respectable amount of the former Roman Empire in the 500s though from there it would decline in favour of other powers.

Medieval History (500 - 1000)

You want it? It's yours sadiq, so long as you have enough gold!

In the 5-6th centuries the Middle East was separated into small, weak states loomed over by two vast empires - the Sasanian Empire of the Persians and the Byzantine Empire in Anatolia plus the Levant. The Byzantines and Sasanians dicked with each other as a neat reflection of the rivalry between the Roman and the Persian empires. The Byzantine-Sasanian rivalry was also seen through their respective cultures and religions. The Byzantines were the champions of Hellenism and Christianity while the Sasanians thought themselves heroes of ancient Iranian traditions and of the traditional Persian religion - Zoroastrianism.

Meanwhile, down south we have the Arabian Peninsula which largely was and continued to be a dustbowl of little importance. The nomadic Bedouin tribes dominated the Arabian deserts where they worshiped idols and were organised into small clans based on mutual kinship. There were scant cities and agriculture in Arabia except for Mecca and Medina (then called Yathrib) which were important hubs for trade between Africa and Eurasia with most citizens there being merchants - this all will become important VERY SOON.

Right around 620-30s there arose a new ofshot of abrahamic religions - Islam, and it would become big, really big. The details on Islam can be found on the respective page or on the other wiki, but the religion blew up FAST and in some 40 years after it's inception managed to conquer whole of Arabia, Persia and vast swathes of Byzantine empire. An interesting thing about Islam is that it's prophet Mohammad was also a military and political leader and while Jesus or Buddha left us general ethical and metaphysical messages, Mohammad was around for a bit longer and proscribed social and political tenets to the faith which gave rise to the concept of a Caliphate - a theocratic social polity that was to be the way to run things. The conquest stopped in the 750s as the new Caliphate ran out of steam and the usual fracturing between successors began after Muhammad was unalived, but Islam had by this time profiled itself as the pre-eminent socio-political and religious force in the Middle East under the various dynasties of the Caliphates.

The Arabian islamic vanguard would continue to dominate the newly conquered and islamised lands for the next 300 years. When Muhammad introduced Islam it had a the effect of nearly erasing the other various Middle Eastern cultures, although since it inspired advances in architecture, science, technology, and the formation of a distinct way of life, Islamic apologists tend to try and hide this fact. Islam also created the need for spectacularly built mosques to flex on their Abrahamic siblings which also created a unique form of architecture. Meanwhile, missionaries and warriors worked to forcibly spread the religion from Arabia to North and Sudanic Africa, South and Southeast Asia, and the Mesopotamia area. This created a potent mix of cultures, especially in Africa. Lastly, the "People of the Book" (Christians, Jews, and Zoroastrians) were allowed to live, but to say they were treated "well" is a stretch. Still, they were mostly allowed to be left well enough alone, altbough in second class conditions. This courtesy wasn't extended to members of polytheist religions or Buddhism, witb those folks being given the option of convert or die. This period would be disrupted by two events - the arrival of Seljuks/Turks and the Crusades.

The Crusades (1000 - 1300)

In the 1000's, the Persians (now rebranded as the Seljuks) started some shit with the Byzantines that ultimately ended with them sacking Constantinople. Having eastern armies crossing the Hellespont was the last straw for Christendom, and war were declared, whereupon thousands of ambitious princes, mercenaries, fugitives, and fanatics swarmed to Venice, got on boats, and proceeded to invade Jerusalem, intending to take back the Holy Land for Christendom from the Mohammedans.

Well, the sudden arrival of hundreds of thousands of foreigners who couldn't tell the difference between Arabs and Turks wasn't something Arabia was going to take sitting down. Several centuries of war ensued, and while the invaders from Europe won the occasional dramatic victory, they were eventually forced away, although it did end any aspirations of Islam forcing its culture upon Europe.

And as the stalwart defenders of Arabia stood on the coast of Palestine, watching the sun set on their retreating enemies, they suddenly heard behind them the cheers and horse hooves of a million GODDAMN MONGOLIANS.

Lots of ottomans there, also some Ottomans.

Ottoman Period (1300 - 1918)

The Ilkhanate hordes of Tulai ultimately were held out of Arabia, although the Seljuks fell to them completely. But as has been established in many other articles featuring the Mongols, they weren't very good at REMAINING Mongol once they ran out of things to put arrows in; in this case they discovered Islam and for once decided that some outsider's religion was actually their kind of thing, probably having to do with a similar bloodthirstiness towards "the other". What succeeded them was the Ottoman empire. Over the next 500 years the Ottomans would largely reunite all of the former Roman territories east of Cisalpine Gaul, into a massive, mostly-Islamic caliphate held together by the Turks, Greeks, and Egyptians that formed its foundation.

The power that held the Ottomans together was the Janissaries. A Janissary was a Christian male from the Balkan areas of the Empire, forcibly conscripted in youth and forced to convert to Islam, and then subjected to a rigorous military training that made them one of the most elite fighting forces of their time. They were also sometimes castrated. They were forbidden to marry before forty, but were paid a lifetime salary. Although a brutal system, the resulting army was exceptionally professional, impartial to the empire's many tribes and territories, and utterly loyal to the Sultanate. The net effect of the Janissaries were that the individual animosities of various sects were dampened under Ottoman rule, in favor of the greater greed of the Sultanate.

For most of it's life, the Ottoman empire wasn't a terribly bad place to live if you were a Muslim. There was relative peace and prosperity due to flourishing trade as it stood at the crossroads between the Mediterranean and the sea routes to the far east. There was religious freedom as long as taxes were paid (except for non-monotheists) and all the wealth and luxuries of the world to be found in their markets. Interestingly, there were THREE separate, government sanctioned court systems, specifically one system for muslims, another for christians & jews, and the trade courts which handled civil and commercial disputes. The good times ended however when the Europeans discovered that it was slightly cheaper to sail all the fuck way around Africa than to pay Ottoman taxes.

We've come a long way, eh sadiq?

Modern History (1918 - 20XX)

After Ottoman Empire was defeated and WW1 ended, French and Brits decided to screw their own Middle Eastern allies (as usual) and set up their own colonial regimes and puppet states, this was all but codified in the secret Sykes-Picot Agreement which created a bunch of artificial states that would all but guarantee that the region north of Saudi Arabia would remain a socio-political quagmire for many decades to come. Most notable ones are French Syria, British Palestine and Kuwait, as well as marionette Kingdom of Iraq. Saudi Arabia was also formed in that time period from old Arabian peninsula states, while Oman and Yemen became British puppets. This status quo remained all the way up to 1950s, even during WWII (well, if you don't count joint Allied intervention to Iran to prevent it from joining the Axis and get a new safe way for a land-lease, as well as short Iraqi campaign to weed out pro-Hitler Golden Square Party).

During the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, Syria and Egypt made moves towards independence since the Sick man of Bosphorus was fast dying of anachronism and lack of key reforms. Although the Kingdom of Egypt was technically "neutral" during World War II, Cairo soon became a major military base for the British and the country was occupied. In Palestine, a potent shitstorm was brewing as conflicting forces of Arab nationalism and Zionism created a situation the British could neither resolve nor gtfo from. The rise of Germany's Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Party, who the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem told the idea of the Holocaust to, had created a new urgency in the Zionist quest to immigrate to Palestine and create a Jewish state.

The modern Middle East was primarily shaped by three factors - decolonisation as Europe just gave up on the overcomplicated region to deal with issues at home, the founding of the state of Israel with all the "FUN" that entailed with Islam's inherent antisemitism from butthurt over Muhammad's Jewish sex slave BTFO'ing him, and the growing importance of this stinky slimy substance called oil. A further layer of complexity was added by the new Cold War order which saw the world's two remaining superpowers - the USA/NATO and USSR/Warsaw Pact take a keen interest in the region due to various opportunities to dick with each other and the region being the largest (then) known source of civilization-driving oil, with the U.S.A. supporting Israel's right to exist, and the Soviets supporting Palestine's wish to drive the Jews into the sea, figuring they could finish off the Jews and have one less religion they'd have to finish off themselves if they could conquer the Middle East.

Middle Eastern Culture

Placeholder 2

Middle Eastern Religion, Gods and Mythology

Placeholder 3

Middle Eastern Magic

Placeholder 4

Middle East Analogs in Fantasy

• Araby (duh), Badlands (in geographical sense) and Darklands (culturally) in Warhammer Fantasy Battle.
• Tallarn Desert Raiders Regiment of Imperial Guard in Warhammer 40,000.
• Al-Qadim campaign setting from DnD
• Harad from Lord of the Rings
• Prince of Persia series of vidya
• Shaqqislam factions in Infinity