Lord Mazdamundi

Yes, all the Pepe jokes have been made. No, they are not funny anymore.

"Woe to the warm-bloods who would despoil our realm, for their craving for trinkets and baubles drives them deeper into lands forbidden to them. Cast them out, show them no pity, feed their carcases to the beasts of the jungle and leave their bones to bleach upon the golden shores of our land. Let them see that it is folly to intrude upon the domains of the Lizardmen."

– Lord Mazdamundi giving his official stance on foreigners to Lustria

"GET OFF OF MY PROPERTY!"

– Fuzzy Lumpkins

Adolf Hitler, if Hitler was a giant toad with diabetes

Overview

Lord Mazdamundi, AKA The lord of the solar city,The Big M, Toad Hitler or "Mein Froggy" is the oldest living (Kroak is technically dead) Slann mage priest in the Warhammer world and is easily the most powerful alive. He is also the most active Slann the Lizardmen have and is constantly launching wars, raids and invasions of nearby nations and races, in very un-lizardmen like actions of going on the offensive rather than sitting in the temple cities sleeping "meditating". He usually leads these operations from the front while riding upon his Mother fucking Stegadon war-mount Zlaaq, charging into the thick of combat with his dinosaur crushing foes underfoot, while he un-peoples every warm-blood around him with his magic.

Mazdamundi has studied the ancient plaques of the Old Ones more than any other Slann and has come to the conclusion that before the rest of the Great Plan of the Old Ones can commence, the Lizardmen must first exterminate the lesser races as they are not part of the Great plan.

And you thought all the Hitler jokes were just bad /pol/ memes.

History

Behold the most powerful magic user in the Old World, a fat, xenophobic toad....(don't look into it too much)

Mazdamundi was birthed by the Old Ones with the rest of the second generation Slann, meaning that while he is not as powerful as the first generation Slann, of which Lord Kroak was part of, he is stronger and more skilled with magic than any of the Third, Fourth, or Fifth generation of Slann. Like all Slann he was created to help build the Old World in the correct vision of the Old ones, and being a second generation Slann was tasked with shaping the continents and oceans. This was all fine until Chaos decided to see if making a habit of invading the real world and killing everything would be a fun idea, and so started the Great Catastrophe, where Chaos Daemons spilled through Warp gates at the poles and invaded the Old World. All of it. Simultaneously.

The Old Ones bugged out, leaving the Lizardmen to finish their work and also sort out the current Daemon problem, so the Mazdamundi lead the forces of the Lizardmen next to Lord Kroak and the Other Slann to push Chaos out of the world. Huge battles were fought in Lustria with multiple temple cities being besieged, and the Slann found it every harder to control the magic they used, with many accidentally killing themselves trying to control it. After a few thousand years the High Elves with help from the Lizardmen where able to open the Great Vortex which siphoned Chaos from the world. The Great Catastrophe had been halted, but the Lizardmen had paid daerly for this victory, as all of the First generation Slann had perished as they were very high priority targets for the daemons. Of the Second Generation only five survived, including Lord Mazdamundi himself. The Slann slowly started rebuilding the damaged world, but Mazdamundi sat thinking to himself about the Great Plan and how it was to be carried out. Along with these others, Mazdamundi spent millennia meditating and trying to discern the Old Ones will.

Mazdamundi's proactive approach began when he was forced to "evict" people Lustria when they made the town of El Cavado. A bunch of pirates built a town, Skinks sent word to Hexaotl, Mazdamundi gave a telepathic order to Lizardmen armies to destroy it. This happened twice, and the third time Mazdamundi woke up fully for the first time in ages. Sick of these people getting on his lawn, Mazdamundi destroyed the town and the surrounding area with an earthquake. From then on, he took a more proactive stance. Things accelerated when a Skink Chief found sacred plaques with instructions form the Old Ones days before the Great Catastrophe. After reading them, he eventually came to the conclusion that the plan of the Old Ones had gone astray and instead of trying to figure out or enact the next steps, they had to fix the "problems" first.

Mazdamundi has spent the last few hundred years enacting his Great purpose and fixing the world of all its "problems" according to those plaques, which are 1) the extermination of all races not part of the Old Ones great plan (that is the Greenskins, Skaven, undead, Fimir, maybe trolls and all beings and creatures of Chaos... so its not all bad) and 2) returning the races that had spread out too much to their own corner of the world; all the Elves go back to Ulthuan, Humans, Ogres and Halflings stay in the Old World and the Dwarves stay in the Worlds edge mountains.

When he goes out to fuck around with the other races, he encounters very few things to stop him, or even slow him down, as (considering he was originally created to shape the continents) he is the single most powerful magic user in the entire Warhammer World. Seriously, he can just clap his hands and level an entire city like it was nothing. Hell, he created an entire mountain chain and enchanted it with a SINGLE THOUGHT just to stop a Dark Elf army. No hassle, just "There are magic mountains here now, because I say so."

The End Times

Then The End Times happened

While meditating on the plan, all the world's movers and shaker and the gods were making their big moves. With the rising power hordes of of Chaos daemons attacked Lustria, so armies were fighting non-stop and anti-daemon defenses were bolstered and then bolstered again. These drastic changes led to the Great Plan being debated fiercely by the Slann and Skink Priests until Mazdamundi himself abruptly woke from his meditations. He gave a short but world-shaking announcement; The Great Plan had failed and the Lizardmen had to leave the world.

The Lizardmen beat back the daemons enough to get some breathing room, but the Skaven decided to settle their ancient grudge against the denizens of Lustria and attacked the continet in full force. Their moving the Chaos moon messed with many Slann, and being otherwise focused on the daemons the Lizardmen were blindsided by the Skaven, who attacked mutiple Temple cites simultaneously. Lord Mazdamundi fought against the Skaven when they invaded Lustria, and was forced to run up and down the continent from Hexoatl to Itza fighting them. He was about to repurpose the magic of Lustria's anti-daemon defences to finally wipe out the Skaven when the ratmen decided they needed some more firepower and blew up one of the FUCKING MOONS and then threw the pieces at Lustria. Mazdamundi sensing that Morrslieb has been blown up, thinks "Fuck these rat bastards, we're leaving now!", and proceeded to order the Exodus with immediate effect. As the Lizardmen start evacuating the planet, Mazdamundi starts deleting continent sized pieces of the moon but eventually he burned up his mind from the strain of destroying most of the contient sized chunks of moon that fell to the planet. Using his last moments he tried to get to his favorite place in Hexoatl to look over the Old World one last time before dying.

No word yet if the Big M will show up in Age Of Sigmar but here is to hoping.

Tabletop

7th

Lord Mazdamundi is a near unstoppable train of ass rape in 7th. While Mazdamundi himself is not that impressive stat wise, Zlaaq gives both Mazdamundi and himself a 2+ armour save (on his own Mazda has no armour save) while having a Strength and Toughness of 6 to make him one tanky dinosaur. Mazdamundis Sheild of The Old Ones gives him a 4+ Ward save and he also has the Soul of Stone magical item, which allows him to re-roll miscasts. Speaking of magic Mazdamundi is a level 4 wizard, with access to ANY of the 8 Lores of Magic and can use ALL of the Spells in the Lore he chooses, and there is no limit to the amount of dice he can use to cast spells, including his bound spell Ruination of Cites, a 2D6 strength 5 hits spell that become 3D6 is the unit is in a building with the additional bonus that any unit which takes damage from this spell can only move half of their movement, although the spell can't effect flying units. While you don't want him fighting in close combat, he is also no slouch in melee as his Cobra Mace always hits first at Strength 5 and has poison attacks, in addition if the enemy unit is carrying a magical item, that item is destroyed and while that is good he has 1 attack. Additionally Zlaaq despite being a big murder dinosaur is just a basic Ancient Stegadon with out access to the Howdah weapons (because Mazdamundis fat ass is taking up all the room), meaning you are stuck with an initiative of 1, so you're primary melee abilities are going to be noticeably hindered (just stay out of combat and you're fine). He is also very expensive being 620 point to field him, limiting him to larger games, but if you do take him, woe betide any warm-bloods in your way.

8th

The nerf hammer was not kind to Mazdamundi. Firstly he is even more expensive now being 780 points and he has lost Ruination of Cities, so is stuck with the regular spells of one of the 8 Lores of magic, oh an he only gets 2 extra dice when casting spells rather than as many as he wants and he still has no armour save of his own of his own so he needs to be mounted on Zlaaq to get a +1 armour save (3+ from Zlaaq and then 2 more points of armour from Zlaaq being a monstrous mount). Zlaaq is also still a regular ancient Stegadon, and has dropped down to a 3+ armour save, and he STILL has no bonuses like Impaling Charge despite being the largest and toughest stegadon in the Lore. It's not all bad though, he has a few extra Disciplines Of The Old Ones that give him some nice buffs, firstly he can roll 5 D6 and for every 6+ he regains a wound which does help add to his survivability, and can re-roll the first Dispel attempt of each magic phase, which is a bit narrow in usage as it would be much more effective if it was re-roll one dispel attempt each magic phase, but hey its better than nothing. He also has the ability to add/subtract 1 to all cast attempts, which should help cast the spells you really need to go off. His Cobra Mace is unchanged apart from the fact that all models in base contact with Mazdamundi must reveal their magic items and if he hits a model with one or more, they are destroyed on a 6+. He carries the Starburst Standard of Hexoatl, which if you take Mazdamundi MUST be your army standard. It can be activated for 1 turn and it will blind all enemy units with 12" making them take a -1 penalty to hit, not the best but not terrible. Overall Mazdamundi can be very powerful in 8th but he is overcosted for what he does and you might be better taking a regular Slann, unless you really want to play him with that model you converted.

Total War Warhammer 2

In Total Warhammer 2 Mazdamundi became a Legendary Lord for the Lizardmen along with Kroq-Gar.

Gameplay wise he starts in Hexoatl and is a buffed up Slann with access to Heavens, Light and High Magic. He can be given Zlaaq to become an extremely good tank and melee lord as well. He also gets access to his Ruination of Cites and Banishment. While Kroq-Gar is used to attack High priority targets, like monsters, elite units and enemy lords, Mazdamundi is better suited to general crowd control and infantry killing as he can point his finger at a unit of Spearmen that gave him a funny look and say "Fuck you. You don't exist anymore." as he casts Ruination of Cities on them while Zlaaq crushes another unit underfoot. Unfortunately for the amphibian fascist, the Ruination of Cities spell in the game is highly ineffective to use against a single unit since it is a wind spell that spread out in 3 random direction from whatever the player pointed at, and it is more meant for a large clump up infantries advancing towards Mazdamundi. We'll see if CA is willing to fix its eventual effectiveness, or else they will suffer the wrath of a psychic toad. To make things even worst for the warmblood, his cobra mace gives him poison attack, which when combine with the stats of Zlaaq, makes him having the same statline as the arachnarok spider. Not only that, being a slann gives him extra missile resistance as well as magic resistance, which allows him to tank warp lightning cannon shot as well as other warmblood artillery specialize against monster, effectivly turning him into DISTRACTION FUHRER FROG ON A STEGADON.

Gallery

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  Mazdamundi riding his personal dinosaur, like a goddamn pimp.

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  "Commence the Purge!"