Lizardmen: Difference between revisions
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File:ThunderLizard.jpg|Please GW. I beg you. ADD THIS (Even if it's ripping off Dinotopia, with some change it'd be a good original idea) | File:ThunderLizard.jpg|Please GW. I beg you. ADD THIS (Even if it's ripping off Dinotopia, with some change it'd be a good original idea) | ||
File:ScaliePorn.png|Even Lizards need to beat one off sometimes. | File:ScaliePorn.png|Even Lizards need to beat one off sometimes. | ||
File:Lizard lesbian kiss.jpg | Lizard woman are lesbians!? | File:Lizard lesbian kiss.jpg | Lizard woman are lesbians!? HERESY!!!!! | ||
File:Seraphon_AKA_Lizardmen_VS_Cowardly_Wizards.jpg|Seraphon riding Derpasaurus | File:Seraphon_AKA_Lizardmen_VS_Cowardly_Wizards.jpg|Seraphon riding Derpasaurus | ||
File:Skink.PNG|Love makes us do strange things in our fanon. Like <strike>reinterpreting the Great Plan</strike> <strike>Commiting Heresy</strike> being circumventive and discordant. | File:Skink.PNG|Love makes us do strange things in our fanon. Like <strike>reinterpreting the Great Plan</strike> <strike>Commiting Heresy</strike> being circumventive and discordant. |
Revision as of 16:03, 14 March 2022
Grand Alliance Order
Seraphon |
Aztec dinosaurs riding bigger dinosaurs that shoot lasers and fuck shit up. This is how Lizardmen do. |
"Every member of the Covenant shall walk the Path. None will be left behind when our Great Journey begins! That is the Prophets' age-old promise, and it shall be fulfilled!"
- – High Prophet of Regret
"A powerful AI system tasked with ensuring your safety might imprison you at home. If you asked for happiness, it might hook you up to a life support and ceaselessly stimulate your brain's pleasure centers. If you don't provide the AI with a very big library of preferred behaviors or an ironclad means for it to deduce what behavior you prefer, you'll be stuck with whatever it comes up with. And since it's a highly complex system, you may never understand it well enough to make sure you've got it right."
- – James Barrat
"What are you doing in my swamp?!"
- – Shrek
The Lizardmen are a faction in Warhammer Fantasy Battles; with the coming of the Age of Sigmar they have been re-named "Seraphon". A variation on the Lizardfolk theme, they are a civilisation of Mayaincatec, Chaos-hating, reptilian creatures. Prior to Age of Sigmar they were the isolationist survivors of an ancient empire that lived in Lustria, the Warhammer World's analogue to South America. As Seraphon they were reborn as creatures of star magic who live above the Mortal Realms, descending to fight as per the inscrutable will of their masters. Except, as per the recent retcon, they’re back to being flesh and blood reptiles, just infused with Azyrite magic. They do not have a Warhammer 40000 counterpart, only factions that take after various bits of them; like a caste system like Tau and having a core belief in some metaphysical movement, and being a wholly organic, genderless army with subspecies, like Tyranids.
They also run the government (don't blame me, I voted for the Skaven).
Meta History
Lizardmen are one of the factions of WFB that had major changes in their lore, like Orcs & Goblins, for example. Back when Games Workshop was selling overstocked Dungeons & Dragons minis, the British overlords decided to rip off "borrow" Slaad into their slowly developing setting. Due to that, pre-4th Edition Slanns were not fat lazy toads, and instead were bipedal frogmen dressed as Maya-Aztec hybrids with names lifted from the menu of cocktail bars. Slanns and Lizardmen were not the same species - former were degenerate incestuous Old Ones, and the latter were just Lizardfolk.
Aside from Lizardmen and Cold Ones, old Slanns also employed other races as their warrior-slaves and administrator-slaves. Those included Troglodytes (dumb giant crocs), Amazons and Pygmies. Most of them, however, didn't survive for long. Around the 4th Edition, major changes to the lore made Slanns just another of Old Ones' tools and made them smartest and the most magical Lizardmen. Pygmies were replaced with Skinks, Troglodytes with Kroxigors, and Amazons... still aren't retconned, like Zoats and Fimir. It is unknown what was the catalysis of these changes , but probably GW were just trying to avoid copyright issues (and accusations of racism in Pygmies' case).
History
Way back when the Old Ones entered the world, they decided they'd need some extra help in messing this world up guiding this world to its destiny. So, they created the first of the Lizardmen, the Slann. The Slann are obese but highly-magical frog-men that spend most of their days sitting around meditating. The Old Ones, realizing the Slann wouldn't be useful for much when it came to manual labor, then created the rest of the Lizardmen, including the Saurus, Skinks, and Kroxigor. They then left the Lizardmen to make some elves, dwarfs, and humans. In return, the Slann used their new servants to COMMIT MULTIPLE GENOCIDES on the native races of the World, with massive armies of Saurus hunting down and annihilating the races that the Old Ones told them to (notably, the only race that was a target of the Lizardmen's genocidal campaigns and survived are everyone's favorite fungus footballers).
However, the Fall of the Eldar then happe-- wait a minute, wrong universe. Or is it? The dimensional gate the Old Ones had come through collapsed, crashing into the north of the Warhammer World and opening a portal to the Warp Realm of Chaos. The Lizardmen and Elves had to team up to defeat the Daemons that started pouring through the portal. Eventually the Elves managed to redirect the flow of magic into a portal at the center of the island home, Ulthuan, but not before much awesomeness on the part of the Lizardmen. And by awesomeness we mean billions of Saurus' fighting for centuries continuously in battles that spanned continents against an enemy that could warp reality. Little did the elves know, the Slann actually did much of the work on the great vortex, and without them continuously sending magical aid it probably would have collapsed a long time ago. The Slann are also responsible for maintaining the great warding, but don't ever tell the elves that or they'll throw a hissy fit.
Lizardmen for the most part are fairly primitive by the standards of the Warhammer world. Even orcs can take iron and forge it into new choppas and make chariots. Lizardmen mostly use stone tools and weapons with some bronze bits here and there. Only the beastmen are more primitive and they have brains hardwired to despise all that is artificial. This might lead you to underestimate them in battle, but the fact that they use stone swords is a secondary consideration when you consider that the ones wielding them are three meter long semi-sapient therapod dinosaurs with really durable scales. One area where they do make a lot of use of metalworking is in gold plates, which they have a lot of. These they use to keep records and important bits of information on because they live in damp stone cities in the middle of rainforests where paper would fairly quickly rot away. Other species, for reasons the Lizardmen have a hard time understanding, have an odd obsession for this yellow metal beyond simply valuing its corrosion resistance and try to steal these plates to melt them down. This really gets under their scales.
Despite being fairly isolated, they deal with just about everyone. their main problems are emo elves to the north and regular human pirates and colonists. They also have a long-standing feud against Skavens. Recently, the Slann have been getting off their asses and realizing that the threat needs to be met head on, so apparently they have massive armies stationed fighting all over the world, from Brettonia to the southern chaos wastes. Why they never pop up in anyone else's fluff is a mystery, though not so much when you realize they barely have fluff to begin with. They are also similar to tomb kings and Grandpa Dreadnought with their "get the hell off my lawn" policies.
The End Times
With the release of The End Times: Thanquol, the fourth book in The End Times series, the Slann forsee that The Great Plan of the Old Ones will fail. The apocalypse begins with the Lizardmen defending their lands from a Daemonic invasion that rivals the initial Chaos Incursion after the Great Catastrophe (somehow, despite the Polar Warpgates not changing and the Elven Vortex still happily sucking up all the Magic). Unfortunately, whilst the Lizardmen put on a smashing show in stemming the Daemons, warpstone meteors rain down upon Lustria; the Skaven Grey Seers had been taught by their Daemonic Verminlords how to circumvent the Slann's magic and try to bring the chaos moon closer to the world. This knocks out all the Slann as they try to protect the continent, just in time for the entirety of the Skaven Clan Pestilens to invade Lustria. As the booby traps set by the Lizardmen are bespoke for Daemons they do nothing to stem the Skaven tide other than giving a few headaches. Cue rampant swarms of rat-men spreading plague, burning forests, and killing Lizardmen like it's going out of fashion.
Clan Skyre, not to be out done by those pesky Grey Seers, decide to go one step further and actually blow up the chaos moon with a giant cannon. As continent-sized chunks of warpstone plummet towards the planet the Lizardmen decide that it's very likely their plan has failed and flee in their temple-pyramids-now-spaceships. The Slann use their mind-powers to disintegrate these fragments, however blowing up their brains under the magical strain. Even as the Slann die still more chunks head for the world, taking the mummified uber-Slann Lord Kroak to will himself back to life in order to contain the rest of the chunks to only fall on Lustria and the Southlands, whilst securing parts of Lustria in magical bubbles and lifting them off the world.
As such only a few Slann now exist, floating about in space.
Age of Sigmar
With the release of GW's re-packaged fantasy game Age of Sigmar the Lizardmen have been renamed into the IP-friendly 'Seraphon', and with it have been re-skinned as "Daemons of Order" whose bodies flow with Azyrite energy (i.e. the Lizardmen now have lightning for blood). A Battletome has been released and the army rebased. The Seraphon have no named characters in Age of Sigmar outside of Lord Kroak, with the other characters either being given new, generic units (such as Tetto-Ekko and Gor-Rok), or have been merged with already existing generic units (such as Oxyotl, Lord Mazdamundi, Kroq-Gar, and Tehenhauin).
The new fluff describes the post-apocalypse Slann (now known as Slann Starmasters) as having been found drifting in space by Dracothion, the celestial dragon, and were thus brought to the Mortal Realms. They are described as having an empire in High Azyr (i.e. space) and travel across the Mortal Realms without the need for Realmgates. All the Seraphon bar the Slann are now memories, materialising when the Starmaster wants to beat down on Chaos. Just *how* physical the Seraphon are is vague - despite being described as materialising at the whim of the Slann they have blood of starlight which, in one story, was said to be soaking in the ground to purify it of Chaos' taint. The Battletome also details a Skink Starpriest to approach a Slann before they materialise on the Mortal Realms with the rest of the army, suggesting that the Seraphon may exist beyond the battlefield. To make matters more confusing, the Seraphon also physically manifest as star constellations, with various hosts forming around a central shiny Slann.
Rather nicely the Black Library has given them some attention in the recent short story "Under The Black Thumb"; nice in that the old Lizardmen were usually left in the shadows as the favourite races got all the attention.
Another Recent shortstory reveals that they actually live in Spaceships with the interiors tending to mimic the jungles of Lustria. Along with showing that they are still spawned the same way they were in Fantasy (ancient Spawning Pools, where they emerge as adults who already know how to survive) the Slann can simply summon them from the ships.
Battletome: Cities of Sigmar also says the "mysterious lizard priests of the Seraphon maintain conclaves in several of the God-King's strongholds." Lizard might refer to Skinks rather than the amphibian Slann, meaning they are even further independent.
The battletome released in March 2020 retconned it so the Lizardmen are flesh and blood but infused with the magic of Azyr (in a manner similar to the Stormcast). After the End Times, the Slann put the Lizardmen into magical stasis so they'd survive the aeons without nourishment (while the Slann themselves, fully immortal, presumably spent the time figuring out the technology of the Old Ones, how to build Spawning Pools, Engines of the Gods, Temple Cities and all their infrastructure contained in spaceships etc. and how to become spiritual energy beings so that they themselves do not lose numbers and further planned out ways to make sure that, if they couldn't defeat them, they could at least stall Chaos and other anti-Order factions indefinitely and create a vaguely Order-favored stalemate). Then Dracothion found them and revitalized their vessels. What happened next is shrouded in mystery, but the Lizardmen were infused with Azyrite magic and brought to High Azyr. They've expanded their Exodus Engines into a series of cities and jungles and Lizardmen are once again made from spawning pools. Some of them settle in the realms and are called the Coalesced, as they have joined permanently with the realms instead of going back to their space empire. They work with the Forces of Order, albeit keeping them at arms length, so they've changed their foreign policy and will work with non-Lizardmen as long as they're Order-aligned. While the Azyrite magic dilutes in these Lizardmen, these Coalesced make up for it with savagery.
Constellations
Each Seraphon belongs to a host of warriors named after a constellation from High Azyr.
- Dracothion’s Tail: The posterboy subfaction with the best magic and Slann Starmasters around. They are the most attuned to Azyr and very much employ the standard Slann tactic of slowly planning things out and waiting for the Great Plan to line up exactly before acting.
- Fangs of Sotek: Not the second coming of Tehenhauin sadly, but rather the more proactive cousin of the Dracothion’s Tail. They primarily use skinks and are the most direct in their involvement with the forces of Order. They even have groups of skink priests and chiefs set up in the Cities of Sigmar to weed out any potential chaos influence.
- Koatl’s Claw: Remember those feral Lizardmen from the Dragon Isles that GW refused to talk about? Well now you got rules and lore for their AoS counterparts! This army of Saurus was royally screwed by the Clans Pestilens and forced to land their flying temple in Ghur after their Slann was mortally wounded and the Skinks went insane. Within the Realm of Beasts, they quickly devolved into savage predators, tearing into any and all who dare set foot in their jungles. This extends even to those who revered the reptiles, such as a Wanderers enclave who wished to thank the Seraphon for unwittingly saving them.
- Thunder Lizard: A Coalesced host originally from Chamon, they specialize in massive war beasts and are tasked with safeguarding the various weapons bunkers of Old One technology. They’ve been dispatched across the edges of realms to reign in the more uncontrollable points of magic and recently this has led to them clashing with Nagash's anti-magic bone boys. Most recently they became unwitting pawns of Be'lakor as he manipulated them into nuking a Silver Tower which triggered a chain reaction of realmgate explosions and now most of Chamon is shrouded in chaos-corrupted clouds. The Thunder Lizards themselves are mostly wiped out after the resulting explosion engulfed everything around it, though a few hosts have survived and will likely reform their lost ranks.
Mating Habits
Yes, there's an entire section dedicated to their mating habits. However, while this will certainly disappoint the scalies out there, oddly enough Lizardmen don't have any. No joking. Despite being called Lizardmen, the entire species (or whatever it's called given that speciation is determined by a lack of reliable inter-fertility between two populations) is composed of genderless individuals to whom sexual reproduction is as alien as a 360-degree field of view is to a human.
But this raises the question: if they don't have any functional reproductive organs, then how do new Lizardmen come about?
Well, there are big, bubbling pools of murky liquid at the heart of each temple-city. These were created by the Old Ones at the dawn of time and scheduled to produce new Lizardmen on a timetable unknowable to any but the long-gone Old Ones. The rate at which the Lizardmen spawn is assumed to be quite high, as they are constantly being worn down in battles of attrition. One source has the pools thrashing non-stop to keep up with a never ending tide of daemons. The new Lizardmen walk as fully formed adults out of the pools and are instinctively able to understand their role in society. They're then toweled off, logged in the records and sent to where they are needed. Each new batch (or Spawning) is usually composed of one specific type of Lizardman and has traits which are distinctly of that batch. Needless to say, as they are the foundation of their civilization, the Lizardmen are very protective of these pools, especially since they can't build more and don't really know how to repair the ones that get broken (usually due to Skaven involvement). If you get close to one (if you get close to one), you will almost certainly get your face eaten. Hey, that sounds familiar...
It should also be noted that all Lizardmen, with the exception of the Skinks, are biologically immortal. They don't age, they simply get stronger and more skilled at what they do. So their attrition rates are lower than humans. It also means that the greatest Lizardmen warriors are centuries, if not millenia old and are veterans of thousands of battles. Hey, that also sounds familiar...
So to sum up while Lizardmen look, walk and talk like Aztec dinosaurs, they are little more than a biological variant of robots: mass-produced, pre-programmed and single-minded. They have little to no free will, no goal in life besides those implanted into them upon spawning, and much like robots they often do stupid things due to logical errors in their programming or coming across things that the programmers did not see coming.
Subspecies
Like Orcs and beastmen, Lizardmen are divided into a number of distinct subspecies, each fulfilling a distinct role in society and in battle.
Slann
The Slann are the THICCCCC, magic frogs we were talking about above. They're among the most powerful wizards in the entirety of the Warhammer World, and taught the High Elves most of what they know about magic. In previous Lizardmen army books, they had a more active role in leading the species, but apparently they are now more sleepy. Slann are perhaps most known for their extremely lazy appearance. While it is true that their nap time is often spent pondering incredibly important problems with the scraps of instructions they have been left to save the world, and thanklessly channeling raw magical power so the rest of the world doesn't collapse on a daily basis, they are still obese toadmen known for sleeping their way through periods of global catastrophe, and showing up on mobility scooters that run on magical energy when one finally gets annoyed enough by its Skink attendants to get shit done.
When Slann decide to get shit done as a group, the results can quite literally change the face of the world in short order, such as the time a bunch of Slann decided to rearrange some tectonic plates to improve the world's feng shui, and accidentally fucked the Dwarfs over for the rest of time in the process.
Slann are sorted by generation, with the oldest generations being the strongest, and that power diminishing with each successive generation. The first generation is all dead at this point (with one only sorta dead exception that is a testament to just how powerful the OG frog sumbitches were), and the defacto leader of the Lizardmen is a second generation, which is also considered quite rare. Also, there are no longer any more Slann being spawned, so the ones still alive are part of a dying species... welp, grimdark. End Times spoiler: All the Slanns are dead or gone. Many were killed by Skaven after being rendered unconscious from stopping the moon from falling, and the rest either left in their pyramid ships or died blowing up continent sized pieces of the chaos moon that the Skaven blew up with Mazdamundi sacrificing himself to blow up like 60% of the Chaos moon fragments by himself and buying the planet a few more years. Even Lord Kroak joined the party. In Age of Sigmar it's revealed some Slann survived, but their numbers dwindled until only five were left. Lord Kroak is back too. It's uncertain whether he is one of the five survivors or whether it's Kroak and five other Slann. Honestly not that surprising for Lord Kroak, death is probably just a mildly irritating inconvenience to him. Kroak now serves as racial leader in Age of Sigmar.
Saurus
Saurus are the main footsoldiers of the Lizardmen and, by and large, the "face" of the army. A "face" that could rip a man in half. The average Saurus is a semi humanoid scaled therapod 2.5 meters long with a bite that can take off a grown man's arm, a tail strong enough to smash their ribcage and scales as hard as chainmail. On top of that, they carry at least a huge Macuahuitl and a bladed shield. They may seem slow and dimwitted, but don't let that fool you, it's not that they're dumb, they just only care about warfare. Saurus that manage to survive for a very long time do begin to pick up other skills and overall intelligence, eventually becoming good enough at things besides biting people's faces off that they can serve as agents, commanders, or other more unusual roles, though a Saurus growing away from something directly related to combat or warfare is all but unheard of.
Saurus themselves have a few variations, depending on their spawnings. Most of them are regular warriors with colour variations (some of which are taken as signs of greatness, like albinism for Gor-Rok). The two main variations of Saurus are:
- Temple Guard: An elite group of Saurus, spawned to instinctively guard the temples and Slann, their spawning has ingrained this purpose so much they've been know to kill a Skink helper just because he looked at a Slann funny.
- Cold One Riders: Saurus with the ability to get near, control and ride Cold Ones into battle. They produce the same smell as their mounts and have adapted for their feet's claws to grip Cold One' scales more efficiently,you know you want them.
Additionally, during sixth edition the Saurus could be spawned under the blessing of one, and sometimes two or even three for oldbloods, of the Old Ones (which were also named and detailed as having certain portfolios). This granted these Sacred Spawning with some benefits as well as recognizable visual clues:
- Tzunki: Saurus blessed by Tzunki, Old One of water, have green colored scales and show quicker reactions than the regular model, while also being adapted to a semi acquatic lifestyle like skinks.
- Itzl: this blessing somewhat survived in fluff, as newer editions state that cold one riders are a specialized breed with a dinosaur-like smell and hooks for grabbing on scales and that some lizardmen like Kroq-gar are instinctively able to attune to Carnosaurs. All Saurus characters who wanted a mount had to pick this.
- Quetzl: this blessing from the divine Old One warrior manifests as additional bone spurs and hardened scales, which grants added protection. Kroq-gar had this as well.
- Huanchi: no canon look for the Saurus chosen by the jaguar-god Old One of earth and night, but we can assume they are supposed to be more drab or camouflaged as it makes them more stealthy and able to get through harsh terrain without breaking a sweat.
- Sotek: blood for the serpent god! Unsurprisingly, this is for Skinks as well as Saurus, cause Sotek cares not whence the blood flows, and it makes lizardmen even more aggressive, as well as red-crested.
- Tlazcotl: Saurus are already near unflinching, but the yellow-scaled chosen of Tlazcotl took a page of 40K and ran with it as they Know No Fear- as well as no Terror and no other psychology effect.
- Chotec: the Old One of the Sun also makes his orange-scaled Saurus less sluggish, filling them with the power of the sun, except it tranlsates to sprinting speed more than fighting reactions.
- Tepok: the lizardmen apparently had a Coatl themed Old One, and their color was purple and they made Saurus highly resistant to magic.
- Xhotl: only Kroq-gar had this, and he kept it throughout the editions as it is the blessing that provides him and his mount with a magical forcefield and zaps with magic anyone who manages to get through. As this blessing only showed up in Saurus from the lost city of Xhotl (named after the Old One Xhotl, which clearly was not the god of creativity), Kroq-gar is the last recipient of it.
- Blessed Mark of the Old Ones: this was the only one who could not manifest together with any other spawning, as it meant that the Saurus (or Skink!) character bearing it was marked for greatness by all the old ones. It made the chosen lizard albino, a concept that got folded into the character of Gor Rok.
And the two commander ranks of Saurus are:
- Oldbloods: The oldest, strongest, and most cunning of the Saurus caste. They are the Generals of the Lizardmen, and got the rank by being the meanest kids on the block through millennia of fighting just about everyone.
- Scar-Veterans: Saurus Champions who are exactly what it says on the tin: veterans who got through their fair share of battles and are on their way to Oldblood status. They either travel the world alone, seeking lost relics or battle, or lead their fellow lizardmen as secondary commanders.
Skinks
Skinks are the smallest type of Lizardmen and the smartest save for Slanns. They act as the farmers, administrators and artisans of Lizardmen society. They are the most versatile and flexible of Lizardmen and probably the one which would be best suited to have a friendly conversation with a Human. Despite their small size (roughly the same as a Goblin), they can be a formidable military force, as they have highly-accurate poisoned blowpipes (they used to have bows and arrows which got retconned for some reason). They are also the caretakers for most of the dinosaurs used by the Lizardmen, and thus are Awesome. Awesome enough to get their own meme (that didn't really survive through the newer editions): "remove X, replace with Skinks."
- Skink Priests: Born to manipulate the winds of magic and attend to the prophecies of events yet to occur, Priests are the highest-ranking members of the skink caste and can lead entire armies as well as cast spells with devastating precision. They occasionally have to take the reigns and make the hard decicions for the Lizardmen when a Slann won't wake up. Unsurprisingly, they are the most vulnerable in close combat. They historically come in Heavens and Beast flavors.
- Skink Chiefs: Born to lead with exceptional cunning and tenacity, Chiefs are responsible for overseeing patrols, construction, message delivery, and commanding armies in battle. Skink Chiefs usually fight atop a dinosaur and with blowpipes but when the situation boils down to close combat, they can run circles around the enemy with their speed and agility in a dance of death.
- Skink Braves: Veterans who have survived several battles and display more combat aptitude than regular skinks. Braves will fight alongside each other in their own cohorts or command regular skink cohorts.
- Chameleon Skinks: An extraordinarily rare subspecies that is dedicated to scouting, infiltration, ambush, and hunting. They have the unique ability to manipulate the color and texture of their skin which is the biological equivalent of an integral cloaking device, allowing them to blend in flawlessly with the surrounding area. More badass than the moniker of stealth specialists may have you believe.
- Red Crested Skinks: The alpha variation of the Skink species is blessed with being faster, stronger, sharper and brighter than their peers. Much better warriors than the average Skink as a result. The Temple-City of Chaqua was known for a spawning of Red Crested Skinks before being depopulated and ruined by a terrible plague.
- Skinks: The basic Skink is a workhorse of the Lizardmen, filling light combat roles or as riders and support gunners to the various dinos the Lizardmen bring to battle, but much more so filling out the vast majority of crafting, managerial, logistics, and other work that a society needs done to function. As mentioned, besides the Slann, the basic Skink is far more intelligent, skilled, and flexible in role than any other class of Lizardman. If you can think of something necessary to a society or war engine that hasn't been mentioned, rest assured that a Skink somewhere is scampering along doing it. By far the most numerous member of the Lizardmen, or of the various Skink castes outlined here. Also known for being one of the most adorable things in Fantasy that are absolutely worth the mauling you'd get trying to hug one.
Kroxigor
Kroxigor are to Skinks what Ogres are to Halflings (at least in the Warhammer World): giant powerful but dumber versions. They're essentially giant bipedal crocodiles who spawned at the same time and in the same ponds as skinks. They're the main workers and builders of the Lizardmen, which also means they are the least bright as they were literally created with menial labor as their purpose. As such they rely on skinks for direction in almost about everything, and if left by their own devices they will act based on their animal insticts: when marching to war the Skinks tie heavy clubs to the wrists of Kroxigors, so that they do not throw the weapons away in the attempt to RIP AND TEAR the enemy barehan- ehm clawed, and in battle they often work together with Skinks, forming units termed "Skrox" by the fans. HOWEVER, in a cooperative collaboration between GW and CA, Kroxigors have been given something of a sanctioned lore rework in Total War: Warhammer 2 in which they become smarter and stronger with age like the Saurus, meaning that they're not so dependent on skinks for directions and can finally lead Lizardmen armies in battle (also, they death roll motherfuckers like actual crocodiles). The capacity to lead still seems to be a rarity amongst the Kroxigor, but they are much less likely to have an aneurysm out of sheer idiocy if left to their own devices. This change has been positively welcomed as a breath of fresh air and goes a long way to explaining the backstory of Nakai, the Wanderer.
- Kroxigor Ancients: These Kroxigors have lived for several millennia and are much stronger and more intelligent than their younger kin, making them significantly more dangerous.
DINOSAWZ
Lizardmen are also known for their use of dinosaurs found on their native continent of Lustria. Thus they have the best monsters and cavalry period. Dinosaurs bitch. Like fucking Jurassic Park. (and like Jurassic Park they are fantasy dinosaurs with little basis in science and firm roots in awesomeness)
Stegadons
Probably the most well known dinosaur used by the Lizardmen, this stubborn, motherfucking Triceratops hits like a freight train and can trample all who oppose the Lizardmen underneath his feet. Stegadons are, unsurprisingly given the harsh nature of Lustria being a continent sized Catachan, angry all the fucking time, extremely territorial and not obligatory herbivores, which adds even more thrill to the life of Skink handlers. They usually carry Howdahs on their back which include a Skink crew, and a FUCKHUEG bow. As the stegadons age, their tempers cool and they will be able to carry either 2 massive blowpipes which fire buckets of dice, or a mystical Engine of the Gods that can buff, or shoot lightning bolts like a Red Alert Tesla coil.
Carnosaurs
This guy is based on the large and awesome theropod dinosaurs like Tyrannosaurus, Gigantosaurus, and Allosaurus, and can rip the throats out of Dragons, knocking them down a peg like the pussies they are. In fact, the reason there are no dragons in Lustria is because Carnosaurs kept hunting and killing them so they decided to settle somewhere less hostile. The newest version of the model adds additional cool factor by including a killing claw like the ones seen on Dromaeosaurs, such as Velociraptor. They also have pretty well-developed arms for a theropod, so make short arm jokes at your peril. Only the beardliest of Saurus can ride them, as even the babies can rip a human in half: once again it is up to the unlucky skinks to steal eggs from a Carnosaur nest, which might very well be the most dangerous place in the wilderness of Lustria, dodge an enraged Carnosaur mother and raise baby dinosaurs that can very well take a skink's head off in a single bite. Even when fully trained, for a lack of better term, Carnosaurs are constantly twitching around the edges and even the most strong-willed Saurus oldblood rider knows that when a Carnosaur tastes blood, all they can do is sit tight and enjoy the ride as everything the Lizardmen army beholds get torn a new Anal Circumference. In summary they spill blood in the name of the Old Ones and don't give a shit about that pushover Khorne.
Troglodons
Looks like a Blind Spinosaurus aegyptiacus, freaking awesome and anybody would pay money to see it fight a Carnosaur Jurassic Park style. For some reason a Skink can ride them. This is because they team up and search for the lost plaques of the Old-Ones in a 1970's buddy cop film.
Bastiladons
The Lustrian equivalent of Ankylosaurus mixed with a Scutosaurus, the walking tank of dinosaurs, and the first recipient of a 2+ Scaly Skin save. Even a big Dragon, T-rex (ahem, CARNOSAUR), or Greater Daemon sometimes struggle to get through. Perhaps to the relief of Skink handlers, these guys are somewhat more chill that the other dinosaurs and their thicc armor means they are able to carry some of the more unwieldy devices of the Old Ones: the ark of Sotek which constantly vomits poisonous snakes (they can't really bite the armored Bastiladon who can safely waltz around with the tide of sneks coming from its back) or the Solar Engine of Chotec, a literal laser cannon that overheats so hard when firing that other non-naturally insulated beings can't hope to carry one around without risking fifth degree burnings. Despite their more easygoing nature, they are still quite capable at breaking the bones of whatever poor saps were ordered to stand in the way of one, and their tail clubs can shatter some monstrous knees, though they rarely attain the refined destructive potential of a Stegadon or Carnosaur.
Cold Ones
Not to be confused with the Old Ones, Cold Ones are basically velociraptor-like animals that are used as cavalry. They are also used by the Dark Elves, who have much cooler Cold Ones. The official, in-universe explanation for this discrepancy is that the two types are related-but-distinct breeds of Cold One; the cool ones are native to Naggaroth and based off of irl Velociraptors, whereas the derpy ones are native to Lustria and based off of Spinosauroids. For once, the Skinks are not left with the short straw as Cold Ones naturally respond the innate magnetism of Itzl-blessed Saurus and the two form a very close couple... no, not *that* kind of couple, what is wrong with you?
Perhaps ironically, they are not clever girls in the slightest, and are noted as being very dull-witted, and easily overwhelmed by chaotic situations, adding to the importance of the bond between rider and mount.
Horned Ones
A relative of the Cold Ones that are rare in Lustria, but prominent in the Southlands (the Warhammer World equivalent of Africa). They are distinguished from their counterparts by the fact that they are smarter, slightly faster and are based upon pachycephalosaurus with sharp teeth. Generally better than Cold Ones in every way, but are too rare to field in any significant numbers. They used to have their own models, known as Tichi-Huichi's Horned One Riders, serving as a unit in Dogs of War armies. Lizardmen mercenaries? Do want!
Salamanders
Not technically a Dinosaur but is still awesome. The models seem to be based off of Dimetrodon (again not really a dinosaur( not dinosaurs at all, but a synapsid )) and shoot flaming poison like living artillery. They are escorted by teams of Skink handlers who do their best to convince the fire breathing critters to spit in the right direction, while not getting roasted or mauled in the process. While primarily used for their ranged applications, Salamanders are perfectly capable war beasts in their own right, which makes dealing with them a troublesome conundrum for commanders.
Razordons
Looks like what would happen if a Kentrosaurus was on steroids. Shoots out spikes at Sufficient Velocity. Very nasty, and usually has the side affects of being pinned to a wall like a "Lets pin the tail of a Donkey" game. Deployed in a manner very similar to Salamanders.
Terradons
Not a Dinosaur, just an average looking Pteranodon, but as large as a car. Terradons are the sneaky flyers of Lustria, hovering above the canopy for days at a time in search of unaware prey- that is, anything smaller. In battle, Skinks riding them employ primarily ranged weapons, and have the mounts carry large rocks to drop on unsuspecting warm-bloods. Their new models are also very sexy, unlike their retarded brothers.
Ripperdactyls
Just look at the name. GW is really phoning it in now aren't they. Otherwise, its a Pterosaur similar to the Terradon but with more of a basis in Pterosaurs like Rhamphorhynchus. These googly eyed bastards, like most of the dinosaur in this list, are simmering pots of pent up aggressions and hold the distinction of being the one cavalry unit where the mount does all the job while the rider tries desperately to hold on. Clearly for the genius tactical minds of Skink Chiefs this flying meatgrinder is not enough, so they have Chameleon Skinks hide Lustrian Bloat Toads (favorite prey of Ripperdactyls) into the pouches of unlucky invaders before sending the Rippers to rip them a new one. Think seagulls swarming pizza leftovers on a beach, but each seagull is bigger than a man and screaming for blood, and some lizard asshole snuck some pepperoni into your pockets.
Dread Saurians
Following GW's desire to create big monsters for Forge World to sell, the Dread Saurian was given rules in the Monstrous Arcanum Vol.1 (More was planned, obviously) and was awesome. This thing is larger than even the Carnosaur, is pretty rare and is so powerful that even the Slann can't control it without bedecking it in glyph-inscribed armour. These things are captured, presumably as eggs, and placed inside mountainside Temples, there they are worshipped as a physical manifestation of the Old Ones power. However, when shit hits the fan, a Slann will order a Temples gates unlocked and he'll release the power of the Dread Saurian on Lizardmens enemies. While the Dread Saurians stats are slightly better than a Carnosaur and has the same D3 Wounds bite, its main power comes from its options (which, for some reason, aren't restricted to just Lizardmen, derp). This includes turning it into a ghost (making it Ethereal), giving it Flaming Impact Hits, putting a huge stone disc on its neck to boost it's Toughness to 8(!) at the expense of 2 less Movement, but probably the most amusing (and something Creed would appreciate) is giving it the Ambushers special rule. Nothing says "fuck your Warmachines" quite like a T7 3+ monster charging you. All these buffs are named after Old Ones worshipped by the Lizardmen. Stick it in a list with Kroak and watch as it takes down whatever models you want it to. If it dies? Just use skele-frog to summon him back to continue his rampage. Can easily take Alarielle with this method.
This isn't the only interesting thing about it. It had a strange development history. It was released in Monstrous Arcanum Vol.1 before Lizardmen 8th edition by Forge World. In the book, the art depicted it as a sail-less Spinosaurus, yet when the model (finally) arrived, it had lost it's crocodile-like head, got more spikes and was now too-swole-to-control. We asked Forge World's Facebook page (when it had a Q&A) why it changed and were told, simply, "She wanted to change it". While this was a simple answer, it was clearly bullshit, as, when 8th Edition Lizardmen was released, we suddenly had a Troglodon, which was essentially a blind Spinosaurus. What clearly happened was a classic "Failure to Communicate" by GW between its departments. The artist for FW was told to design a "1UP" of the Carnosaur, so based it on a Spinosaurus, the only known carnivore bigger than a T-Rex (Gigantosaurus and Carcharodontosaurus want words), then when the time came to actually design the model, FW learnt that the Troglodon had been designed. Thus, not wanting to make a "1UP" of a brand new model, they redesigned it to what it is now. But it gets more interesting still! In the Lustria Campaign Book, there is a conversion model of an Arcanodon with a EoTG's on top. If you compare the Arcanodon's pose with the Dread Saurian, it's nearly identical.
Fun Fact! The Dread Saurian model is so big, a human-sized model can fit inside its mouth. Conversion time, people!
More Dinosaurs
Since the Lizardmen have pretty much every iconic Dinosaur, the only thing they are missing now is a massive Sauropod like Amphicoelias fragillimus...That . Would . Be . Awesome. A Thunder-Lizard perhaps? Otherwise they could add it as the Arcanadon which used to exist back from the Lustria Sourcebook (although it is still in the fluff.)
There are several mentions of dinosaurs that the Lizardmen have, which don't have rules or models. Pliodons are described acting as "living ferries across the wide canals", while Voxosaurs "emitted their piercing screams to sound alarms" - A bit like a rooster, I imagine. One could pretty freely imagine a whole host of Flintstones-esque dinosaurs filling various appliance roles, if you wanted to take the piss out of it. As mentioned, the others are Thunder Lizards and Arcanadons.
Soulbound
While initially missing from the available options for Age of Sigmar Roleplay, there was eventually the web supplement Stars and Scales that allowed players to take the role of a scary star-lizardman, and they're predictably very unique compared to most beings. Due to their nature as star-formed entities bound to their Slann Masters and a great plan that is ineffable to all but their star-frogs, the Seraphon are incapable of contributing or using Soulfire akin to the Stormcast Eternals. As with the wargame, the Seraphon are split between both the well-protected Saurus and the nimble Skinks as well as the Starborne Seraphon (Those who are composed of starlight and thus can blind those who harm them) and the Coalesced Seraphon (Those who adapted to their realms rather than the stars and became more aggressive but poor diplomats.)
As for backgrounds, Seraphon heroes can pick from the following Constellations to hail from:
- Dracothion's Tail (Starborne only): As Dracothion aided Sigmar in the forming of the mortal realms, so too do these Seraphon come to aid the champions of the gods when the stars deem it right. This constellation is one of the very few to have several Slann on hand, and they have taught their disciples some of their arcane wisdom. Heroes from this constellation can spend Mettle to teleport, potentially blinding anyone near them when they arrive in a flash of light.
- Fangs of Sotek (Starborne only): Perhaps the faction of Seraphon most familiar to the mortal realms, the Fangs of Sotek have often lent their aid to the heroes of order when it so suits them. This is not for the sake of altruism so much as it is for the sake of keeping their potential allies and foes under tight observation and manipulation. Heroes from this constellation have an easier time communicating with other species and are much swifter when the battle begins to quickly silence the opposition.
- Koatl's Claw (Coalesced Only): The result of Skaven sabotage causing their pyramid-ship to crash into the realm of Ghur and crippling their Slann. Any Seraphon spawned since this incident are now utterly unhinged, bent on waging war on any foe in pursuit for some sort of satisfaction. Heroes from this constellation deal more damage the worse they are injured, but suffer the inability to manage long-term plans.
- Thunder Lizard (Coalesced Only): The Thunder Lizard will accomplish its agendas with no compromise and no quarter - After all, they only see their plan as the ideal. Though they may join a Binding for the sake of accomplishing a common goal, it will not be one that will always benefit their mortal allies, and they will not accept any deviations from the plan. Heroes from this constellation are wardens of ancient treasures and thus start play with one such relic as well as the ability to double their training when dealing with Seraphon relics - On top of that, the Animal Friend talent is now available to all archetypes.
The supplement provides a paltry two archetypes available to only the Seraphon. Skinks get Skink Starpriest, and Saurus get Saurus Oldblood.
See Also
- Tactics/Lizardmen
- Age of Sigmar/Tactics/Order/Seraphon
- How you make Total Warhammer II more awesome than Total Warhammer? Add the Lizardmen!
- Musical accompaniment for playing Lizardmen/Seraphon. Be honest, did you think it was going to be anything else?
External Links
Units of the Lizardmen Empire
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Leaders & Characters : | Skink Chief - Skink Priest - Saurus Oldblood - Slann Mage Priest - Temple Guard | ||
Troops : | Skink Warrior - Chameleon Skink - Red Crested Skink - Saurus Warrior - Saurus Scar-Veteran - Kroxigor - Cold-One Cavalry - Terradon Riders - Ripperdactyl Riders | ||
Beasts & Mounts : | Stegadon - Cold One - Bastiladon - Dread Saurian - Troglodon - Coatl - Razordon - Jungle Swarm - Carnosaurs - Horned Ones |
Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle | |
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Human Kingdoms: | The Empire of Man - Bretonnia |
Elves: | High Elves - Dark Elves - Wood Elves |
Dwarven: | Dwarfs - Chaos Dwarfs |
Undead: | Tomb Kings - Vampire Counts |
Heirs of the Old Ones: | Lizardmen |
Greenskins | Orcs - Goblins |
Ogrekind | Ogre Kingdoms |
Servants of Chaos | Warriors of Chaos - Daemons of Chaos - Beastmen |
Skavenkind | Skaven |
Playable Factions in Warhammer: Age of Sigmar | ||
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Order | ||
Chaos | ||
Death | ||
Destruction |
Gallery
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Look into this frog's eyes. He's half-asleep, probably drunk, and he's still going toe-to-toe against a Lord of Change in a magic fight.
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A typical Lizardmen city.
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Please GW. I beg you. ADD THIS (Even if it's ripping off Dinotopia, with some change it'd be a good original idea)
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Even Lizards need to beat one off sometimes.
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Lizard woman are lesbians!? HERESY!!!!!
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Seraphon riding Derpasaurus
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Love makes us do strange things in our fanon. Like
reinterpreting the Great PlanCommiting Heresybeing circumventive and discordant. -
Lizardmen "Watercraft." Watercraft may be a misnomer, seeing as they're completely made of stone and are instead projecting a magical repulsion field from the hulls that allows them to skim over the water or at least maintain an artificial buoyancy to prevent them from sinking into the ocean.
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There's a difference between "can't" and "won't".
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Gold may not corrode over the centuries, but it can still break.
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When you're cursed with cuteness and overwhelming adoration.
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The writers can't make up their mind in regards to armor composition.
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For those who were wondering: GW has never specified a proper way to paint Lizardmen.