Lizardmen

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The Lizardmen are a faction in Warhammer Fantasy Battles. They are a race of Aztec/Inca-like, Chaos-hating, reptillian creatures that live in Lustria, the Warhammer World's analogue to South America.

They are ruled by the bastard offspring of Jabba the Hut and a frog, also known as Slann. The Slann were subcontractors of the Old Ones, who fled from a parallel universe because they where exterminated by the true 40k Terminators (and I don't those Power-Armoured Creator's Pets) and jellyfishes of doom, and decided to build a new world for later fuck up it as they always do thanks to their hippie culture.

The Slann were so fucking lazy they demanded some extra help, and the Old Ones created the Skinks, the Saurus and the Kroxigors, using some Chuck Norris essence in the process, because no matter how small a Lizardman may be, it can still obliterate your scrotum with only a wood stick connected to some pointy obsidian rocks. They hate furs(but they are scaliefags), emo elves and pirate zombies, loving to feed their snake pets with Skaven bitches and smashing rotted imitators of Jack Sparrow when they are bored, also their cities have a shitload of gold and when not feel in the mood usually contract merc Estalian and Tilean guys for do the dirty job. They are also well known friends of tomb kings and Grandpa Dreadnought with their get the hell off my lawn policies. Though they suck at this policy because the Warriors of Chaos have built up a fucking raiding town in their country and spend their time slaughtering their outposts and cities and stealing their lizard mounts. So, in short, they get their asses kicked by the Warriors of Chaos, but that's okay because the Warriors of Chaos are motherfucking Vikings. Honestly they only care about the endothermic fucks stealing their plaques. They don't give a shit about settlements, just that they don't touch anything. Which the Vikings have figured out, and thus don't get buttfucked every time they do something. Also, Dinosaurs > Vikings.

Currently they have set up a colony in the Warhammer World's analoge to England.

People like to draw them raping amazons [does NOT require photo evidence].

With the new magic rules they went from being one of the least popular armies (although they still are fairly unpopular, I mean they're played less than Bretonnia and those pussy Dwarfs with their war machines), to raping enemy wizards, half the opposing army and still having enough dice left to throw out a fuck load more spells in the first turn. Seriously, Lizardmen have the Most Broken Magic items. One of them lets the user put the negative effect of a miscast onto an enemy Wizard, considering this includes creating a blackhole that rapes all reality, you can literally fuck up a roll and throw one of the nastiest game mechanics ever statted out in tabletop gaming into the middle of the other guys army! They also have the Black Cube which dispels magic spells like a normal Dispel scroll, only it has a 50% chance of cancelling the other guy's entire magic phase!

TL;DR Fucking Toad Wizards Troll players who ain't Lizardmen

They are made of awesome and rape. In that order. Oh and like there's a new book... or whatever...sigh, no one cares.

See Also

• Tactics/Lizardmen

Gallery

<gallery> File:FUCK YOU CHAOS.jpg|Play Lizards. Or I'll cut you. File:Slann and their Magical Force Fields.jpg|Slann are the only Wizards that can go one-to-one against a Lord of Change.