:She's the "hate for Jesus" stereotype turned up to 11. Any alliance with her will end when she eventually invades your cities to convert the heathens. TO ASHES!
:Supposed to be pretty nice, except for the fact that in reality she's a psycho bitch who spams demands every turn then declares war the moment you decline.
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:Leader: Commissioner Pravin Lal (India)
:Leader: Commissioner Pravin Lal (India)
:Erratic, no specialists, Democracy agenda, hates Police State
:Erratic, no specialists, Democracy agenda, hates Police State
:Wuss; usually the first to get wiped out in a game. When role-playing in a thread, Pravin will usually say something about "why don't we come to some sort of agreement" and everyone else agrees that Pravin should shut the fuck up.
:Wuss; usually the first to get wiped out in a game. When role-playing in a thread, Pravin will usually say something about "why don't we come to some sort of agreement" and everyone else agrees that Pravin should shut the fuck up.
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:Leader: Colonel Corazón Santiago (Puerto Rico)
:Leader: Colonel Corazón Santiago (Puerto Rico)
:Erratic, Discoverers/Conquerers, Power agenda, hates Wealth
:Erratic, Discoverers/Conquerers, Power agenda, hates Wealth
:Will kick your ass. Has [[-4 Str|plus-four strength]]. All about military power and how soldiers are superior to soft lazy civvies like you. Most often accused of assassinating the colony ship's captain, despite a complete lack of proof.
:Will kick your ass. Has [[-4 Str|plus-four strength]]. All about military power and how soldiers are superior to soft lazy civvies like you. Most often accused of assassinating the colony ship's captain, despite a complete lack of proof.
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:Leader: Foreman Domai
:Leader: Foreman Domai
:Erratic, Builder, Eudaimonic agenda
:Erratic, Builder, Eudaimonic agenda
:Filthy [[communism|communists]] who build like monkeys on amphetamines and are only marginally smarter. Extremely annoying in the late game when your fucking drones spontaneously start giving your cities to them. Viva la revolucion.
:A less crazy, more bullshit overpowered version of the Hive. Can shit out an entire continent's worth of infrastructure before you build your third city. Oh, and after you meet him you start getting communist revolutions instead of drone riots. Fun.
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Revision as of 18:29, 26 December 2012
This is a /v/ related article, which we tolerate because it's relevant and/or popular on /tg/... or we just can't be bothered to delete it.
Centauri α is the brightest star in the constellation of Centaurus. It is a binary star system, the third brightest star in the night sky, and the extrasolar star closest to our own besides Proxima Centauri (which may or may not be gravitationally bound to Alpha Centauri). In 2012 an Earth sized planet was discovered in the system, making it the closest known exoplanet.
It's a popular destination in near-future space RPGs.
But you're here because of the vidya gaem "Sid Mier's Alpha Centauri" (SMAC), which is not only a strategy game accepted and welcome on /tg/, but the faction leaders in the game are also a meme used in mild role-playing.
It's the spiritual successor to Civilization 2, and direct predecessor to Civilization 3 since it shares much of of the same dev team. One of the possible ending conditions of the Civilization games is to launch the first colony ship into space -- destination Alpha Centauri. Once they find a habitable planet, the team leaders suffer a political breakdown, culminating in the assassination of the colony ship's captain. Each team leader takes a part of the colony ship and some of the colonists in hibernation, and make planetfall. The game starts with your faction arriving, reviving the colonists for labour, and exploring the new world.
There will never be a sequel to Alpha Centauri because the intellectual property rights are a clusterfuck.
The Roleplaying Game
Steve Jackson Games made a GURPS sourcebook for Sid Mier's Alpha Centauri. The cover has a white border, which is unusual for GURPS splatbooks. You can usually find a scan of this book in 4chan's rapidshares catalog.
The Factions
The elegan/tg/entlefolk, fa/tg/uys and ca/tg/irls will sometimes post to a thread with one of the faction leader portraits and respond in-character for that faction leader. This should help you understand what the fuck they're on about.
Gaia's Stepdaughters
Leader: Lady Dierdre Skye (Scottish)
Pacifist, Explorers, Green agenda, hates Free Market
Hippy-dippy freak. Wants to integrate with the existing biology, including the mind-raping local fauna.
Human Hive
Leader: Chairman Sheng-Ji Yang (Chinese)
Aggressive, Conquerers/Builders, Police State agenda, hates Democracy
Socialist TO THE EXXXTREME, all about everyone being equal and subservient to the whole, even if it requires brain stapling for the greater good. Everyone lives underground.
Supposed to be pretty nice, except for the fact that in reality she's a psycho bitch who spams demands every turn then declares war the moment you decline.
Morgan is all about having huge wealth, and making sure his citizens live in luxury. If that means the environment gets fucked up beyond recognition, or other factions have to live in poverty, so be it.
Peacekeeping Forces
Leader: Commissioner Pravin Lal (India)
Erratic, no specialists, Democracy agenda, hates Police State
Wuss; usually the first to get wiped out in a game. When role-playing in a thread, Pravin will usually say something about "why don't we come to some sort of agreement" and everyone else agrees that Pravin should shut the fuck up.
Spartan Federation
Leader: Colonel Corazón Santiago (Puerto Rico)
Erratic, Discoverers/Conquerers, Power agenda, hates Wealth
Will kick your ass. Has plus-four strength. All about military power and how soldiers are superior to soft lazy civvies like you. Most often accused of assassinating the colony ship's captain, despite a complete lack of proof.
Techno-fetish nerd, with all the toys (all of them), thus beloved of the denizens of /tg/ and /v/. He and Miriam fight like cats and dogs -- if only they'd finally get a room and fuck, but she's an ugly bitch and he's a unwashed dweeb.
The expansion pack Alien Crossfire upped the ante by adding new factions so criminally unbalanced they made the others obsolete.
Nautilus Pirates
Leader: Ulrik Svensgaard (USA)
Agressive, Explorers, Power agenda
Piratical raiders who start in the ocean unchallenged. If played by the AI they will reach epidemic levels of city expansion before you can field a navy, making conquering their strung out train wreck of an empire almost as bad as ignoring it. Hope you brought planet busters.
Cult of Planet
Leader: Cha Dawn (Unknown)
Erratic, Discoverers/Conquerers, Green agenda, hates Wealth
Super hippies led by a child of the corn who makes Diedre look like Morgan. Takes over for Lal as the first person to get rolled in the expansion unless he finds some mind worms double quick. If foolishly allowed to live unmolested they will turn the game into a tentacle rape simulator for any player foolish enough to have an economy.
Data Angels
Leader: Datajack Sinder Roze (Trinidad)
Erratic, Democracy agenda, hates Power
Basically 4chan in charge of a civilization. Make good allies if you can put up with their practical jokes (read: "anything the probe team can get away with").
Cyborgs that will be teching towards victory while you're still trying to bang rocks together. Will cheerfully befriend you until you turn down the perfectly reasonable late game option of subsuming your entire civilization into a cybernetic collective.
Free Drones
Leader: Foreman Domai
Erratic, Builder, Eudaimonic agenda
A less crazy, more bullshit overpowered version of the Hive. Can shit out an entire continent's worth of infrastructure before you build your third city. Oh, and after you meet him you start getting communist revolutions instead of drone riots. Fun.
Planet's absentee landlords, who have come back after a teensy weensy problem with the other manifold reaching sentience and killing everything within three systems. Ridiculously overpowered in most regards, they are balanced by the fact that they are automatically hostile to the Manifold Usurpers. Oh whats that? That never made it into the game due to a bug? Thanks Firaxis.
The second alien race and resident that guy. Wants to hijack planet's evolution and use it to turn themselves into a physical god. Plays as more of a rip and tear type to H'minee's turtling builder. Once he allies with Domai and starts feeding him tech its fucking over.
Gallery
This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.
