'''Khorne''' (Pronounced: 'corn') -- but also known as Kharneth, and Arnakh, is the [[Chaos God]] of violence, war, battle, strength, honor, bravery, hate and [[rage]] (Used to do technology, didn't he?). He is also the world's biggest corn flake producer and likes to have BLOOD with them. He used to be about war in all its aspects, including martial honor (which still holds some relevance, he doesn't give two shits whether you kill a defenseless bitch, but if you try and make that into a sacrifice, Khorne will feel insulted and send his Bloodhounds after you. This is because Khorne only desires the skulls of worthy foes to add to his Skull Throne.), back when power was gained by hacking off people's heads with an axe and/or blasting them with a massive gun, this is usually done with the fine work of that magnificent bastard, and tactical genius. Then [[Gav Thorpe]] went and assraped the [[Chaos]] codex. Now Khorne's just a loony who likes killing everything (though the [[Black Crusade]] RPG goes some way to reversing this trend as they try to make some of the forces of Chaos more complex and sympathetic), though it has been said that he sends his bloodhounds after anyone who harms the innocent. [[Khârn]] is one of Khorne's champions, and despite everything he's pretty fun to be around. Khorne's followers are often characterized by a love of [[Rip and tear|tearing shit up]] and being overcome with blood lust and stern warrior-hood honour and a disdain of cowardice and weakness.
'''Khorne''', also known as Kharnath, and Arkhar, Khorgar, [[Viking|Kj]][[[Warriors of Chaos|orn]], Khar, the Bloody Handed, the Axefather, the Bloodwolf, the Wolf-Father and 8791 other names, is the [[Chaos God]] of war, rage, wrath, battle, martial honour and excellence at arms. He is commonly held to be the strongest Chaos God by default, and is associated with wolves and powerful hunting dogs, as well as lions and bulls. For another reason that is likely inspired by occultism, Khorne's sacred number is eight - and thus, his followers tend to organize themselves into groups of eights and its multiples.
It has never really been satisfactorily explained why pretty much everyone in both the Fantasy and 40k settings who goes into a beserker rage (I'm looking at YOU blood angels) isn't accused of falling to chaos when anyone who starts looking a bit pimp is burned for worshiping Slaanesh. Then again, nowadays Slaanesh is the only chaos god anyone seems to give two shits about anyway.
Khorne, by virtue of being the most powerful Chaos God, is also the most powerful general divinity in both iterations of Warhammer. In both versions of Warhammer, his followers are characterized by an overbearing need to spill blood and engage in honest battle, as well as a violent code of martial honour and an 'only the stron survive' approach to morality. They tend to be dutiful, as well.
Khorne was said to have originated during the Crusades. However, since [[Imperium|hyoomanz]] aren't the only things that are sentient, there is some speculation as to the truth of this <s>(the war in heaven makes more sense)</s> Chaos didn't exist back then. The warp was too peaceful.
Khorne also has the distinction of being the only Chaos God whose word you can take at face value. Many smarmy 40K fags just getting into the hobby belive him and his followers to be dim; but they don't realize that disdain for scheming and backstabbing isn't the same as being stupid. Nor do they realize that overcomplicating things is actually the worst thing a planner do.
===Khorne and other Chaos gods===
===Khorne and other Chaos gods===
Khorne loathes [[Slaanesh]], as Slaanesh is about living it up, while Khorne is about TEARING IT THE FUCK DOWN. <strike>Evidence supports Khorne being ''[[wikipedia:Tsundere|tsundere]]'' for Slaanesh, as once the Lord of Excess gave the Blood God a cup, and ever since he has EXPLODED IT WITH HATE only to pick it back up and try and put it back together.</strike> '''[[Rage|WHEN I HAVE REMOVED THE WRITER'S EMPTY HEAD FROM HIS SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJECT HIM TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR HIS BLASPHEMY!!!]]'''
As a rule, Khorne despises Slaanesh because he's an effeminate milk-sop who can't grow a beard or swing an axe like he's got a pair, and also because he personifies acting outwardly (ie: seeking the deaths of others), while Slaanesh acts inwardly (ie: pleasuring himself). Khorne also finds Slaanesh's obsession with luxury and torture wasteful and dishonourable.
===Love life===
Khorne hates Tzeentch also, though they are not fundamental rivals, because his reliance on magic is seen as a sign of weakness and his desire not to face his foes in person is decried by Khorne as cowardly. Khorne sees his penchent for deceit and trickery as dishonourable.
In ''[[Warhammer Fantasy]]'', Khorne has a personal sex slave called [[-4 Str|Valkia the Bloody]]. Valkia and Khorne's sickfuckery begins when the aforementioned ugly bitch somehow defeated a Slaaneshi daemon prince in single combat fair and square... Valkia then tried to deliver its head to Khorne, only to die in the Realm of Chaos because, what, so many people have gone to the Realm of Chaos and met the Chaos gods? I can name <i>two</i>: that guy that wrote the Liber Malefic (and he only survived because the Chaos gods thought making him insane was funny) and Oxyotl, who was a fuckawesome Skink sniper. Ahem. Pardon this interruption. Just needed to prove Valkia was actually pretty badass. Anyways, Khorne, needing some evidence to prove that he wasn't gay (given his preference for massive, hairy, muscular old men in heavy armor as his champions and his brief yet lustful affair with [[wikipedia:Billy Mays|Billy Mays]]), took the bitch as his personal BDSM sex slave. Of course, Khorne is not [[Slaanesh|the kind of lazy hedonist who'd have her kneel in front of the Skull Throne]]. Not when he can strap her to his abs, take his greataxe and go make love and war simultaneously (if he even sees a difference). Someday a bunch of [[Grey Knights]] saw them and jealous, decided to make [[Dreadknight|their own version]] in an attempt to mock the skull-collecting couple. This certainly succeeded at making ''someone'' laughingstock, but [[Fail|not the intended target]].
Oh yeah, and Valkia has a book now! '''[[Rage|AND READ IT YOU WEAKASS PILES OF FLESH AND FAT! READ IT AND BE FILLED WITH RAGE!]]'''
Khorne hates Nurgle also, because the fat fuck doesn't even try to get shit done. Thus, his embodiment as sloth runs contrary to the active, vital aspect of Khorne.
==Fun Khorne facts==
In short he hates everyone. And they hate him too. Except Nurgle, whose too nice to hate anyone.
[[File:Tea Time.jpg|300px|right|thumb|In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea....]]
* Khorne is the only being in canon who will always win. Anytime anyone gets angry? (all the fucking time in the grimderp universe) He wins. Anytime anyone kill someone else? (even more likely) He fucking wins. Given that he doesn't give a damn who's doing the killing or dying, it could be argued that EVERYONE (except that Kaldor Draigo fuck who has the blessing of Your Spiritual Liege) inadvertently is worshiping Khorne. It's right there at the tagline: '''In the grim darkness of the far future there is only WAR.''' [[Just as Planned]]
==His portrayal in Warhammer Fantasy==
He's [[Viking|Odin]].
* Khorne the most powerful being in the canon, capable of GETTING SHIT DONE on a level undreamed by most of the other chaos gods(it is disputed that Tzeentch can get more done with his crazy future seeing shit, but everyone agrees that Khorne is the most direct, generally Chaos Books flip flops over whether Khorne or Tzeentch is the most powerful. So we'll just go ahead and say that like Gork and Mork they're equally powerful but Khorne is direct while Tzeentch is tricksy). The only thing he is unable to accomplish, regrettably, is overcome Games Worskhop's unwillingness to move the plot forward.
No that's it. Get the fuck out; he's an axe-crazy, psychopathic, daemonic version of Odin.
* His tongues of Chaos name is Kharneth, and I suppose it still is. Khorne really hates it when people use that name and kills anyone who utters it in his presence.
Oh? Oh? You want details you balls-less cunt lapper? Is that it?
* <s> Khorne is gay for Billy Mays (He needs the OxyClean to clean up all the blood!) </s> [[Rage|'''PATHETIC WRETCH I SHALL HAVE YOUR SKULL ON A BLOODY PLATTER''']]
Fine. Let's get this over with.
* In truth, the [[Angry Marines]] are about as Khornate as Khorne flakes. <strike>LIEZ! They eat it every day! Which is why they were Exterminatus'd for being heretics.</strike>{{BLAM|'''*BLAM*''' HERES....*GWAK* FUCK YOU I'M A GOD! '''*CHOP, REND, TEAR, PAINFUL SCREAMING*'''}}
Well, for one thing, Chaos worshipers in Warhammer Fantasy actually are Vikings. Read about them [[Warriors of Chaos|here]]. Secondly, Khorne is closely associated with wolves in that setting (one of Odin's names literally translates to 'Battle Wolf'), and even has a wolf-like pet in Karanak. Idiots/and/or Greeks like to think that Karanak is actually Cerberus, but these people tend to forget that Cereberus was a guardian of a place - something which Karanak is not. Karanak is simply a pet that Khorne keeps for amusement and an occasional hunting companion. Thus, fulfilling a role similar to Freki and Geri, or more closely, Garmr.
* <s>Khorne wields a greatsword instead of an axe</s>, and wears black armor. [[Rage|'''IMPERIAL MAGGOT! COWARDLY, EFFETE SCUM! KHORNE, LORD OF BATTLES, GOD OF WAR, IS DESCRIBED IN MANY SOURCES AS WIELDING A MIGHTY AXE SO GREAT THAT WHEN HE MERELY LIFTS IT ENTIRE WORLDS DIE IN HORRIFIC CARNAGE. JUST AS HE IS DESCRIBED IN JUST AS MANY WITH HIS MIGHTY BLADE; WARMAKER! A BLADE WITH WHICH HE, IN A TERRIBLE RAGE, TORE AN ENDLESS CREVASSE IN HIS OWN DOMAIN OF CHAOS! WHEN I HAVE REMOVED YOUR MISERABLE HEAD FROM YOUR SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJUGATE YE TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR YOUR BLASPHEMY!!!!''']]
Another point of similarity is that both Odin and Khorne they are war gods explicitly connected with Berserker rage, and they are thus in exactly the same way in that they bestow it. Additionally, they have their own warrior-cults associated with them who fight with said rage that is gifted to them by their gods. Odin's Olfhednar are practically the same as Khorne's Chosen in both form and function.
* Khorne wears rings made from the skulls of usurper war gods on his hands.
Additionally, thanks to Valkia, Khorne also has his own Valkyries to further the similarity between him and Odin. This was inevitable, of course, given that the Warriors of Chaos are indeed an evil version of the Vikings as has already been stated. It should also be noted that Valkia's similarity to the Valkyries is not a superficial one. She is actually referred to as 'the Sword-Maiden of the Blood God' in the WoC codex, and is Khorne's Choser of the Slain who carries those worthy champions and warriors of his to fight on in the Blood God's halls after death.
* Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and also the first to become sentient (although [[Nurgle]] is the oldest). He became self-aware during that orgy of violence that was the Mongol Invasions, and he probably turned Genghis Khan into Doombreed.
Finally, we got a glimpse of his neck of the Realm of Chaos in the Valkia novel written by Sarah Cawkwell. It was basically Chaos Valhalla.
* Khorne's right hand man is Doombreed (who is Genghis Khan in Daemon Prince form), mightiest and oldest of all his servants. Angron, strongest of the Daemon Primarchs can't hold a candle to Doombreed. Doombreed launched the 5th Black Crusade which to date is the only somewhat successful one, Doombreed essentially declared war on the [[Space Marines|Adeptus Astartes]] and wiped out two chapters, though this still falls well short of it's goal of wiping out all one thousand chapters and every faction in the game has wiped out at least one chapter. Still, it's infinitely more than that [[Abaddon|armless failure]] has accomplished.
==Fun Khorne facts==
[[File:Tea Time.jpg|300px|right|thumb|In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea....]]
*Khorne's left hand man is An'ggrath, who is the mightiest of the Greater Daemons and will <s>remain so until Forge World finally makes Tzeentch's 999 point Greater Daemon</s> Well with the discovery of Aetaos Rau'Keres, greatest of the lords of change, it seems that An'ggrath has lost his title. An'ggrath has only been in the materium twice but each time he entered it he did a shit load of damage. An'ggrath and Angron are tied for the second generally angriest beings in the universe after [[Commissar Fuklaw]]. (Khorne can experience things other than rage and can experience things like being pleased or satisfied so he's not the generally angriest, but when he gets angry, he gets really angry.)
* His sacred number is eight.
* KHORNE ORDERS YE TO SLAY!!!
* The Internet is for Khorne. [[Rage|'''SO USE IT TO FIND PEOPLE TO KILL!!! DO IT, FAGGOT!!!''']]
* <s>It is a well known fact that the two Bush people worshiped Khorne, as did JFK.</s> Andrew Jackson worships Khorne you fucking faggot. How else do you describe a man who after slaughtering <s>hundreds of people in duels for no reason laments that he did not kill enough people? Only Andrew Jackson, the [[rip and tear|ballsiest]] 'Murican ever is even slightly worthy of worshipping Khorne.</s>Andrew Jackson only ever killed one man in his thirteen duels. Mind you, that was AFTER he allowed said man to shoot him in the chest ''first''... His last regrets were indeed that he regretted not killing two other men though.
* He once decided to troll humans for more than consecutive 5 seconds. The result was WW2.
* He farted 500 miles under Haiti. I think we all know what happened next.
* <s>Khorne's favorite music is '''CLASSIC METAL!!!'''</s> {{BLAM|'''I AM <s>Heavy</s> EMPERORFUCKING DEATH Metal.'''}}
* Khorne is best buddies with <s>Nurgle</s> KHARN
* Khorne likes Nurgle because of his cooking and they are often seen working together at the annual [[Warp]] Cook-off. This is because Nurgle is the only Chaos God that cooks nice shit... Even if what he cooks has bits of his own intestine mixed in.
* Khorne beat the [[Empra]] in an arm wrestling match.{{BLAM|'''*SCREAMS OF CENSOR MARINES HEARD* FUCK YOU ASSHOLES! I'M A GOD!!''' }}
* Khaela Mensha Khaine is Khorne's bitch and Khaine owes Khorne big time because Khorne saved Khaine's ass from being violated by Slaanesh. But Khorne is still trying to figure out how to get Khaine to pay the money he owes him since Khaine is kind of...broken.
* The [[Nightbringer]] is Khorne's bitch.
*The [[Empra]], too, is Khorne's bitch. {{BLAM|<s>BLAM HERESY!!!</s> '''*HORRENDOUS SCREAMS, BLOOD AND GUTS FLYING EVERYWHERE* I SAID I DON'T FUCKING WANT YOU COCKSUCKERS ON MY FUCKING PAGE!!! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR BLOODY ASS 5 NEW FUCKING HOLES!'''}}
* Gork is Khorne's bitch. (That's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!) Search your feelings you know it to be true. <s>Despite what the canon says.</s>
* Warhammer Fantasy Battle Khorne is Warhammer 40k Khorne's bitch.
* Warhammer 40,000 Khorne punched that faggoty midget Matt Ward in the face for making his Warhammer Fantasy Battle counterpart befriend Slaanesh in the Daemons of Chaos Codex. He then kicked his fake-ass doppelganger in the face and told him {{BLAM| '''WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! YOU HAVE SORCERERS WHO DON'T EARN THEIR KEEP WITH BADASS FUCKING VOICE ACTING!! YOU'VE BEFRIENDED SLAANESH THE ETERNAL COCKSUCKER!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ME!?! NO FUCK THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!! DDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!''' *''CHOP REND TEAR ON A SCALE NEVER SEEN BEFORE OR SINCE*''}}
* Khorne wants to punch GW in the face for fucking up both 4th edition Chaos Codexes.
* Slaanesh is Khorne's favorite punching bag, because Khorne hates that nympho bisexual pussy. <S>(would you say Khorne gets... pleasure from beating it?) </s> [[Rage|'''NO YOU FUCKWITTED STONER JACKOFF, KHORNE GETS EVEN ANGRIER AND BEATS IT EVEN HARDER *CRUNCH*''']]
* KHORNE CARES NOT FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS, ONLY THAT IT FLOWS! (does Khorne like menstruating women lots, in this case?) {{BLAM| '''OF COURSE, THAT'S WHEN THEY'RE THE BITCHIEST AND THE KILLIEST'''}}
* Khorne killed Gork with His thumb and forced Mork to watch, <s>and subsequently ripped out Gork's skull and beat Mork to death with it.</s>{{BLAM|WRONG! KHORNE RIPPED OUT MORK'S SKULL AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH IT!}} <s>That doesn't even seem physically possible!!!</s> That's what Mork kept screaming {{BLAM|FUCK YOU! I'M A FUCKING GOD!!!}} (We see what you did thar)
* Commissar Yarrick is Khorne's favorite punching bag. Khorne already got one of his Champions of kill off Ghazgkhull, but Yarrick won't call Khorne out on it because Yarrick's scared shitless of Khorne.
* Khorne is Tzeentch's favorite victim for hijinks because Khorne is very easy to string along and has [[Rage|very interesting reactions]] to said hijinks
* Khorne cares a lot for his armor and is pissed beyond chaotic recognition if it gets damaged. A bloodthirster named Skarbrand, who was then the strongest Bloodthirster ever, turned on him and put a chink on Khorne's armor since [[Just as Planned|Tzeentch told him that he was strong enough to take Khorne's place]], ended up being beaten shitless which caused the Bloodthirster to go mad, thrown by Khorne himself out of his lair, flew for several days from the throw and eventually crashed down, ripping his wings off, ironically Skarbrand served Khorne better as an insane renegade than he ever did when he was loyal by killing way, way more people than he ever had before. Khorne made a bigger and even stronger bloodthirster named An'ggrath to take Skarbrand's place but never lets them meet, because he plans to have them fight to the death only after every last thing in the universe has been slaughtered in His name.
* [[Commissar Fuklaw]] and Khorne had an angry contest, the planet they were on exploded because you can't contain that much [[rage|RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEGGGG]] on one planet.
* WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE?! YOU! SHOULD! BE! '''KILLING'''!! '''GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND FIGHT AND KILL SOMETHING, YOU [[Slaanesh|PANSY SISSY FAGGOT MOTHER'S BOY]]!!!''''
* <s>Khorne is rumored to listen to Elton John.</s> {{BLAM|'''*Let us simply say that we cannot fully describe in any fashion, even a fraction of the horror and brutality of what the Mighty Khorne deals out to this weakling dog* OH? WHAT'S THAT YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT?! YOU'RE SORRY, AYE?! YOU FUCKING THINK YOU CAN COME HERE, '''TO MY FUCKING PAGE ON THIS SHIT WEBSITE''' AND SAY THAT ABOUT ME?! HEY, CUNT, YOU SEE THE BLOODY MESS I MADE OF MY FANTASY BATTLE VERSION! THAT AIN'T A MOTHERFUCKING FIFTH OF WHAT I AM GONNA DO TO YOU. FUCK YOU, BITCH!!!}}
* Fucking bitches is for the Lord of Excess, so is excessive posting and fanwankery. Khorne would like his page simpler, with less words and more blood. More blood and rage.
* Khorne once visited the Forgotten Realms, when he left that place the result was bloody mess that is 4e's suck ass version of the forgotten realms. He really, really hated everyone in the setting after meeting one too many Drizz't clones. You don't want to know what he did to Drizzit himself, you just don't.
* Khorne is ok with magic, so long as it isn't used as a primary means of killing. That's just cowardly. However, he tolerates the use of blood-magic, which he invented in order to beat Tzeentch at his own game.
* Khorne is pleased that the new voice acting for his Chaos Lord is now deeper and angrier instead of the comically high-pitched angsty voice from chaos rising. The Wrath of Khorne hath been averted... for now.
* ''Everyone'' who calls Khorne as "corn", or any other variation, will be raped with a chainsaw, eviscerated and made Khorne's slut in the afterlife even though Khorne thinks that Sex is for Slaaneshi pussies.. That includes ''you'' too, BITCH!!!
* Khorne knows about timed hits.
* Khorne hates the [[Tau|Weeaboo Space Communists]]. Railguns are a bitch aren't they?
* To counter Tzeentch's games of paradox poker with the Emprah, the Deceiver, and Cegorach, Khorne now holds angry/drinking (or perhaps angry drinking) contests with Commissar Fuklaw, Gork, and Khaine every Saturday night. Like Paradox poker, each time these games are played, the pocket dimension in which they are held in collapse due to being unable to hold that much [[Rage|RAAAAEEEGGG!]] thus nobody ever wins.
* <S>It's confirmed, Khorne does listen to Elton John. Tzeentch has the video evidence</S> {{BLAM|'''NO HE DOESN'T!!! *REND AND TEAR*'''}}
* Aside from being a master of war and bloodshed, Khorne seems to have other less violent hobbies. He is well known through the realm of [[Chaos]] for his undefeated title in the yearly [[Chaos BBQ Cook-Off]], he won the judges over this past year with a wonderful pulled guardsmen sandwich with a side of his patented Khorne-On-The-Cob. His secret is using [[Abaddon]]'s arms for tenderizing.
* Khorne once tried to beat up [[Cegorach]] for being too big of a dick; but when Khorne tried to find Cegorach in the webway, all he found was a small note that said "Y halo thar khorne, I gotz a surprise fer ya!" With that, the note exploded into an unending ocean of confetti, snake in a cans, and floppy clown shoes. After this incident, Khorne hates all surprises with a passion. He then subsequently found Cegorach and shoved that confetti up his ass. Since then, Khorne has discovered a tremendous love for confetti, whereas Ceg seems to avoiding it now.
* Having killed his Warhammer Fantasy self, 40K Khorne has now taken care to govern his Fantasy followers. He has now come to prefer them over his Marines, seeing as they are the best fighters in their setting unlike the Chaos marines despite that latter being superhuman before gainng the powers of Chaos, and generally holds Arbaal in higher esteem than Khârn. He also commanded them to kill their sorcerers in His name. Thus cleansing Warhammer Fantasy of C.S Goto's vile influence.
* It is official, Khorne looks like a giant Khornate Chaos Knight, completely clad in red armor.The only chaos god who actually looks like their greater daemons is Nurgle, so get over it newbs. Unlike Tzeentch and Slaanesh, Khorne and Nurgle aren't fickle fucks who feel the need to look different to every person who looks at them.
* Khorne shared an most excellent fist bump with the [[C'tan|Nightbringer]] after he masectomized [[Slaanesh|Slaanesh's]] left bewb, and shared a three way fist bump with the [[C'tan|Nightbringer]] and [[Cegorach]] after Cegorach gave Slaanesh a book (disguised as the latest issue of playboy) that contained among other things, [[Doombreed]], [[Khârn]], An'ggrath, and [[Angron]] on the first page, all of whom leapt out and beat the shit out of Slaanesh, and the Nightbringer on the second page who cut off [[Slaanesh|Slaanesh's]] dick and carved a vagina where it used to be, thus making [[Slaanesh]] entirely female and invalidating her title of Prince of Pleasure. Khorne provided the Daemons and one Champion, The [[C'tan|Nightbringer]] provided the scythe, and [[Cegorach]] provided the plan. The three have now added <strike>Mork</strike>Gork to their group to form the God Mafia, a group dedicated for beating the everloving shit out of everyone they don't like.
* It is also little known fact that Khorne's name is '''not ''' pronounced as "corn". It is pronounced as "That piece of shit who came up with that joke will get raped with a chainsaw and having his intestines fed to him". Seriously though, it is pronounced like horn. <s>Corn sounds much more badass than (Cor-nay) There are some people who put slight emphasis on the 'h' in order to differentiate the words.</s>The K is silent.
* Khorne will allow sorcerers and psykers to serve him in exceptional circumstances, like the Gore Mages of the Blood Pact or [[Azariah Kyras]] of the Blood Ravens. These circumstances seemed based on the fact that the Gore Mages power their magic up with blood and guts and [[Azariah Kyras]] can say Khorne's battlecry better than anyone else and singlehandedly orchestrate a decade of constant bloodshed in his name.
* Khorne invented all the martial arts used in Fist of the North Star so that the azns could learn to be manly and spill blood in His name. However, they continued their moralfaggotry and Khorne judged them unworthy. He was, however, pleased by the blood spilled during the animated series of FoTNS.
* Despite his status as the God of War and Killing, Khorne has repeatedly stressed a need for the Chaos Gods to conduct themselves with honor and dignity. As well as he stresses to his followers a need to adopt a stronger moral compass. To this effect, he also vigorously campaigns against sexual and moral indecencies of the non violent slant, because rape is A-OK as long as the lube is blood and there's plenty of [[Rip and Tear|ripping and tearing.]]
* Khorne is very pissed off that Drawfags keep giving him and other Gods Daemonette rip offs. His rant while mercilessly killing them was as follows; "{{BLAM|'''YOU PUSSY LICKING CHICKEN-LIVERED GRISTLE PISSING HOMOSEXUALS!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! I'LL! KILL! YOU! ALL!! GRAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!! GIVE ME A FUCKING DAEMONETTE LIKE THAT ASS LICKER SLAAANESH!? FUCK NO! DIE! OH? WHAT'S THAT? YOU DON'T WANT WARBRINGER SHOVED UP YOUR ASS?! FUCK YOU!!!" *proceeds to crucify the drawfags and kill their families and general loved ones in front of them*'''}}<s>*Draws another Khornate Daemonette in defiance*</s> {{BLAM|'''*This person died in an explosion of gore caused by the Blood God punching him in the face.*'''}}
** Besides, He's got Valkia, who services Him like any girl should: By spilling blood and taking skulls in His name!
*Khorne is starring the in the movie '''"Khorne and [[Khârn]] go to Whitecastle"''', and it will be glorious. <s>{{BLAM|'''HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I WOULD WASTE MY TIME FEASTING AFTER INGESTING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NARCOTICS! DO NOT TAKE ME AS ONE OF THE SLAANESHI PUSSIES! *Hacks poster to bits and smokes his carcass*}} But we slaughtered those cows just so you could feast upon thousands of those mini-burgers, we spill blood so you could have a good meal....ungrateful bastard, [[Matt Ward]] must have re-written the blood god's persona.</s> Entire movie consists of three seconds in a car, 89 minutes, 57 seconds of slaughter, then credits roll.
* <strike>Khorne is the father of Chuck Norris.</strike> {{BLAM|'''Daemon Prince Bonecrusher hates Chuck Norris Jokes and has thus pulled the intestines of the offending editor out through his throat and shoved them back up his ass'''}}
* Khorne plays incredibly violent video games. Particularly God of War and Mortal Kombat. He likes Shao Kahn's sense of style, but still likes his own doing better. When this would come to question he would say ''I did it maaaaaaaay waaay''. He also asked Shao Kahn to hire Kintaro as an army general for a while paying the emperor in return with something. Kahn said he liked the idea if the payment was seeing Jehovah getting his pathetic homophobic ass beat up by Khorne personally. He said he wanted to do it himself, but since the cowardly god was hiding in Earthrealm Kahn couldn't reach him. Khorne said in return he would think of it.
* Khorne enjoys playing Chess. If only for the implied violence involved. In fact, it is well known that when Khorne and Tzeentch play chess, their pieces get up and move when the two gods tell them to, and Khorne's pieces violently eviscerate Tzeentch's whenever he takes it. This makes him a very aggressive chess player.
* Khorne prefers his beer to be brewed from the blood, sweat, and tears of Space Marines, Inquisitors, Sorcerors, Slaaneshi cultists, and furries.
* Don't ask what Khorne does to hippies. Just don't.
* One of Khorne's favorite movies is Godzilla: Final Wars. And, obviously, he didn't much care for the American Godzilla movie that came out in 1998. {{BLAM|'''YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT TUNA FISH EATING COCKSUCKING PILE OF FUCKING ATROCIOUS SHIT!!!'''}}
* <s>It is well known that Khorne jacks off to guro.</s> {{BLAM|'''LIES I DO NOT MASTURBATE!!! I CAN ONLY FEEL HATE AND RAGE!!! ONLY COCKSUCKERS LIKE SLAANESH ARE BIG ENOUGH LOSERS TO JACK OFF!!!''' *''CHOP REND TEAR!!!''*}}
* This article has a rather silly amount of <s>editing</s> pseudo-angry, red caps/strikethrough-abusing, badly spelled arguments between users
* Khorne then brought Bonecrusher back to life as Warhammer's first mechanical Daemon Prince because of Bonecrusher's raw seething hatred for anything and everything. Bonecrusher hates being woken up while he's sleeping with the fishes. Sadly, Bonecrusher was recently destroyed for good by Grimlock due to the latter wielding a daemon killing weapon in the form of the Infinity+1 Sword of Plot Advancement. Khorne has since then attempted to recruit Grimlock into his ranks, with no success, though since Grimlock tends to leave a path of destruction wherever he goes, Khorne doesn't particularly care.
* <s>'''THIS PAGE HAS BEEN MARKED HERETICUS FOR KHORNATE TAINT. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST MORALE OFFICER FOR PUNISHMENT.'''</s> {{BLAM|'''Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggots who can't get their strike-throughs right. He has thus eviscerated the offending commissar, you may now continue brown nosing up to Khorne.'''}}
* I think that Khorne is a pretty cool guy. Eh is the strongest being in the canon and doesn't afraid of anything.
* It is rumoured that Khorne collects Take That memorabilia.
* When Khorne went through puberty, it is said the Warp pissed itself in fear.
* When Khorne dreams, entire planets are suddenly drowned in blood, Orks, Khornate Knights, Sisters of Battle, World Eaters, and skub.
* A common misconception is that Khorne is incapable of amusement. There was a [[Awesome|legendary]] incident in which Berserkers of Khorne and Rubric Marines, both working under the Black Legion flag, momentarily put aside their differences and fell upon the forces of the Flawless Host in a wholly unprecedented massacre that embroiled an entire world. The assault culminated in the Sorcerers of Tzeentch opening a massive rift in warp-space that the Berserkers then drove the terrified Slaaneshi marines into - the warp rift leading directly to the scalding sea of blood at one of the Daemon Worlds a World Eaters warband called home. The assault was so successful and the carnage so amusing to the blood god that his followers allowed the Tzeenchian marines to leave the world before they continued to rampage across the planet, slaughtering all they beheld. Due to the Tzeentchian marines spreading the tale, the incident has become well-known and is to this day the world they rampaged across bears the scars of the tread of the Blood God.
* Khorne's favourite characters from the Song of Ice and Fire series are; none. 'Cause Khorne thinks reading is for weaklings.
* [[Kaldor Draigo]] once made his way to Khorne's throne and attacked the Blood God directly. Khorne didn't notice the assault nor the Grey Knight flailing away on his armored boot until he decided to get up and check in on what shenanigans [[Kharn]] had gotten himself into this week. The Blood God did not take notice of the fact that his boot brushing Draigo hurled Kaldor into the middle distance, where he screamed profanities as streams of warp-energy grabbed the Grey Knight and hurled him into the sea of blood, leading the Blood god to [[Donovan|win by default]].
* <s>The blood god swung his mighty axe, the mortal parries. Sly Marbo attacked with renewed fury, and both were evenly matched. The most glorious battle in the history of the Imperium was unfolding. The pair fought with a level of titanic force on par with the stars themselves. The blood god unleashed a flurry of blows. Sly Marbo stepped to the right. Khorne roared and brought down his weapon with the strength of 1 million Carnifexes. Sly Marbo blocked, but the axe cleaved straight through his Catachan knife. A large rip in his chest, Sly Marbo sank to the ground. Khorne could not help but grin a hideous grin. He had finally vanquished Chaos' most deadly foe. He who had slain hundreds of lords of change, he who had bound Slaanesh to his service, he who had turned Daemonette Nurgle into a fat blob. But something wasn't right. Khorne looked at Sly Marbo's corpse. The guardsman had a grin on his face. Also the grimy surface of his skin, the billowing smokestacks, Marbo was a Leman Russ Demolisher! There was a note attached to it, and it read: 'Better luck next time! - Sly'. The blood god bellowed with fury. How was this even possible? It would have taken some sort of tactical genius to--------CREEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!</s> This Sly Marbo shit has to end. Shit? Let's see you put so much awesome in one anecdote!
* <s>Khorne is also the God of Skub.</s> {{BLAM|'''DIE SKUBFAGS!!! *RIP AND TEAR'''}}
* <s>It is rumored that Khorne like my little pony and that he violently murders those who make fun of it.</s> {{BLAM|'''YOU FUCKING THINK ME AS A FUCKING PONY LOVER?!I WILL TEAR YOUR INTESTINES FROM YOUR ASS AND SHOVE THEM BACK THROUGH YOUR FUCKING THROAT!!! '''}} Ah, an Angry Marine
* Khorne loves vikings. Which is why his main worshipers are Vikings in the other Warhammer game. And why his domain is called ''Kreignihalla'' by Chaos Warriors in that continuity. And did we mention that his champions have names like; ''Thorgar'', ''Hrafn'', ''Ulfr'', ''Haargroth'', ''Valmir'' and so on? And did we also mention that the name of Karanak in Fantasy is ''Fenrir'' according to Chaos Warriors? Or that some of his names are ''Viha'' and ''Yngwe'' there? Or that he has a female servant called ''Valkyia'', armed with the spear ''Slaupnir'' of the ''Norscan'' people and she selects great warriors of Khorne which increases their chance to enter the Blood God's ''halls''? Or that his followers in 40k are called ''Berzerkers''? Does this at all seem reminiscent of a certain one-eyed war god of a tall, powerfully built, hairy people who live in Northern Europe that we at all might be aware of? Well, IS IT?!
* Khorne hates all eldar, every single one (ESPECIALLY [[Eldrad]])
* Khorne occasionally strings the intestines of people his demons have slain over his axe, and plays it like a guitar. If its out of tune, he throws it at a planet, causing the planet to explode in a huge mass of blood, fire, skulls and death metal awesomeness
*Khorne enjoys having breakfast with the Ultrasmurfs. He just loves the taste of their power armors.
* Khorne enjoys a challenge whenever possible, and thus boasts that he can defeat any video game that's possible to win. The achievement that he's most proud of is beating Battletoads while controlling two players.
* Khorne is best buddies with [[Darksiders|Death]]; voice like Sindri, skill of Kharn.
* Khorne feels that Warhammer fans hating [[Warmachine]] and [[Hordes]] for being a popular wargame that isn't Warhammer is stupid and makes him ashamed to count them among his fans. Instead, he feels that the games should be hated because they force the player to have a wizard lead the army and rely on magic.
* Khorne found [[Crull]] and [[Carron]] horribly obnoxious, and cheered it being rendered canon that the the former was killed by [[Gorgutz]] and hopes that the latter was blown to pieces by [[baneblade]].
* Khorne has made many attempts at creating a version of Godzilla to use in either version of Warhammer. So far, every version he's created has proven uncontrollable. And he's okay with that. It's the fact that all of them don't meet his standards is why he's pissed off and kills them before starting again. And that's why you haven't seen Godzilla in 40K yet.
* Khorne hates the [[Exalted| Ebon Dragon]] even more than he hates Slaanesh due to the former being to the biggest troll ever, and the fact that he also blow up Khorne's skull throne with a bomb that left the words "Paul was here" burned into the ground. This drove Khorne to [[Rage]] in confusion. To date, nobody, not even Karios Fateweaver, has been able to answer why the Ebon Dragon left that sign.
* Anyone Fancy some Khorneflakes after reading this? I know I do, MILK FOR MY KHORNEFLAKES!! SALT FOR THE BAKHORNE!!!! I want some :D
* Khorne once went back in our time to start a death-metal band for kicks, under the name Thomas Gurrath AKA: The Bloodbeast. He called it [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debauchery_(band) "Debauchery"] and went on to produce a total of 8 albums. Among his most notable works was: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zwKjol1sHM "Kill-Maim-Burn"] and nod to himself: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkkYxmMj-Oo Blood for the Blood God].
* Khorne shed manly tears at the death of Bruce Lee and since then made many attempts to recreate him, resulting in all the Bruce Lee clones in existence. Kenshiro is his personal favorite.
* Khorne is responsible for Mortal Kombat, he made it as a homage to Enter the Dragon.
* Khorne's favorite character to play as in Mortal Kombat is Skarlet. Not only does she have blood-based attacks and fatalities, she's ''made'' of the blood of the warriors she kills!
* Khorne has made it his mission in life to kill the Ebon Dragon ever since he learned that it was responsible for Cheetahmen 2, the video game that Khorne hates the most.
* Khorne is not responsible for the [[Angry Marines]], though their succulent rage feeds him
* Khorne feels the only thing missing from Mythbusters is additional gore, which he feels there is always room for.
* Khorne hates corn puns.
A very fun Khorne fact would be, HE'S FUCKING SICK OF THESE SHITTY SECTIONS FESTERING ON EVERY CHAOS GOD'S PAGE.
* Khorne has made clones of The Hulk, but isn't allowed to use them because they're the most overpowered thing ever made.
What the fuck? Do you inbred fatherless scumbags actually think that these over-written parts of the articles are ''funny''? Do you not instead realize that they are simply a tired succession of unfunny jokes about old memes? Who care about METAHL BAWKZEZ anymore? To think! You could have used these sections to catalogue actual information! Like a description of his mutations! His Champions! His daemons! Quotations! Events! But no.
* Khorne hates temples dedicated to him, [[Carron]] did not realize that and thus lost favor with his god.
Seriously, fuck anyone who contributed to that list.
==Gallery==
==Gallery==
Revision as of 08:28, 31 March 2013
This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.
>
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! - The Chant of Khorne
Khorne, also known as Kharnath, and Arkhar, Khorgar, Kj[[[Warriors of Chaos|orn]], Khar, the Bloody Handed, the Axefather, the Bloodwolf, the Wolf-Father and 8791 other names, is the Chaos God of war, rage, wrath, battle, martial honour and excellence at arms. He is commonly held to be the strongest Chaos God by default, and is associated with wolves and powerful hunting dogs, as well as lions and bulls. For another reason that is likely inspired by occultism, Khorne's sacred number is eight - and thus, his followers tend to organize themselves into groups of eights and its multiples.
Khorne, by virtue of being the most powerful Chaos God, is also the most powerful general divinity in both iterations of Warhammer. In both versions of Warhammer, his followers are characterized by an overbearing need to spill blood and engage in honest battle, as well as a violent code of martial honour and an 'only the stron survive' approach to morality. They tend to be dutiful, as well.
Khorne also has the distinction of being the only Chaos God whose word you can take at face value. Many smarmy 40K fags just getting into the hobby belive him and his followers to be dim; but they don't realize that disdain for scheming and backstabbing isn't the same as being stupid. Nor do they realize that overcomplicating things is actually the worst thing a planner do.
Khorne and other Chaos gods
As a rule, Khorne despises Slaanesh because he's an effeminate milk-sop who can't grow a beard or swing an axe like he's got a pair, and also because he personifies acting outwardly (ie: seeking the deaths of others), while Slaanesh acts inwardly (ie: pleasuring himself). Khorne also finds Slaanesh's obsession with luxury and torture wasteful and dishonourable.
Khorne hates Tzeentch also, though they are not fundamental rivals, because his reliance on magic is seen as a sign of weakness and his desire not to face his foes in person is decried by Khorne as cowardly. Khorne sees his penchent for deceit and trickery as dishonourable.
Khorne hates Nurgle also, because the fat fuck doesn't even try to get shit done. Thus, his embodiment as sloth runs contrary to the active, vital aspect of Khorne.
In short he hates everyone. And they hate him too. Except Nurgle, whose too nice to hate anyone.
No that's it. Get the fuck out; he's an axe-crazy, psychopathic, daemonic version of Odin.
Oh? Oh? You want details you balls-less cunt lapper? Is that it?
Fine. Let's get this over with.
Well, for one thing, Chaos worshipers in Warhammer Fantasy actually are Vikings. Read about them here. Secondly, Khorne is closely associated with wolves in that setting (one of Odin's names literally translates to 'Battle Wolf'), and even has a wolf-like pet in Karanak. Idiots/and/or Greeks like to think that Karanak is actually Cerberus, but these people tend to forget that Cereberus was a guardian of a place - something which Karanak is not. Karanak is simply a pet that Khorne keeps for amusement and an occasional hunting companion. Thus, fulfilling a role similar to Freki and Geri, or more closely, Garmr.
Another point of similarity is that both Odin and Khorne they are war gods explicitly connected with Berserker rage, and they are thus in exactly the same way in that they bestow it. Additionally, they have their own warrior-cults associated with them who fight with said rage that is gifted to them by their gods. Odin's Olfhednar are practically the same as Khorne's Chosen in both form and function.
Additionally, thanks to Valkia, Khorne also has his own Valkyries to further the similarity between him and Odin. This was inevitable, of course, given that the Warriors of Chaos are indeed an evil version of the Vikings as has already been stated. It should also be noted that Valkia's similarity to the Valkyries is not a superficial one. She is actually referred to as 'the Sword-Maiden of the Blood God' in the WoC codex, and is Khorne's Choser of the Slain who carries those worthy champions and warriors of his to fight on in the Blood God's halls after death.
Finally, we got a glimpse of his neck of the Realm of Chaos in the Valkia novel written by Sarah Cawkwell. It was basically Chaos Valhalla.
Fun Khorne facts
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea....
A very fun Khorne fact would be, HE'S FUCKING SICK OF THESE SHITTY SECTIONS FESTERING ON EVERY CHAOS GOD'S PAGE.
What the fuck? Do you inbred fatherless scumbags actually think that these over-written parts of the articles are funny? Do you not instead realize that they are simply a tired succession of unfunny jokes about old memes? Who care about METAHL BAWKZEZ anymore? To think! You could have used these sections to catalogue actual information! Like a description of his mutations! His Champions! His daemons! Quotations! Events! But no.
Seriously, fuck anyone who contributed to that list.
Gallery
HERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM in Warhammer Fantasy, I know, you probably enjoyed your own prior conception)
This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.
