Imperial Navy: Difference between revisions
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'''Important Details''' | '''Important Details''' | ||
''Crews'' - Consists of either bridge officers or slaves. Each ship needs hundreds if not thousands of men to man the ship. Whenever the crew count gets low, the Imperial Navy sets up fake strip clubs on a planet claiming "Free Hookers" to lure in unsuspecting men (and the occasional woman). Once a future crewman steps in, he/she's knocked out, bound, gagged, and taken to the ship, where they'll slave away the rest of their soon-to-be-short existence doing everything needed to make flying through space and fighting in the void possible. | ''Crews'' - Consists of either bridge officers or slaves. Each ship needs hundreds if not thousands of men to man the ship. Whenever the crew count gets low, the Imperial Navy sets up fake strip clubs on a planet claiming "Free Hookers" to lure in unsuspecting men (and the occasional woman). Once a future crewman steps in, he/she's knocked out, bound, gagged, and taken to the ship, [[grimdark|where they'll slave away the rest of their soon-to-be-short existence]] doing everything needed to make flying through space and fighting in the void possible. | ||
''Travel'' - The ships of the [[Imperium]] travel through the [[Warp]] using what's called a warp drive to get to where they're going. However, this isn't your happy, fancy tunnel-of-light like in Star Wars, or everything-moves-fast Star Trek, it is an alternate dimension full of [[Chaos]]. In order to avoid being turned inside-out and getting raped by every daemon in the warp, the ships rely on whats called the [[Gellar Field]] to keep the [[furries]], undesirables, and various other evil beings out of their ship when traveling through. They rely on a [[Navigator]] that uses the [[Empra]] as a beacon to safely navigate the Warp, hence the title "Navigator". | ''Travel'' - The ships of the [[Imperium]] travel through the [[Warp]] using what's called a warp drive to get to where they're going. However, this isn't your happy, fancy tunnel-of-light like in Star Wars, or everything-moves-fast Star Trek, it is an alternate dimension full of [[Chaos]]. In order to avoid being turned inside-out and getting raped by every daemon in the warp, the ships rely on whats called the [[Gellar Field]] to keep the [[furries]], undesirables, and various other evil beings out of their ship when traveling through. They rely on a [[Navigator]] that uses the [[Empra]] as a beacon to safely navigate the Warp, hence the title "Navigator". | ||
Revision as of 09:43, 15 November 2010
Imperial Navy
Also a faction in the game Battlefleet Gothic (lovingly referred to as BFG)
Rich, wealthy cowards Badass gentledudes from the Imperium that sit in their Fuck-Huge space ships drinking tea, while the men with balls of steel get their asses killed by the thousands. Their average day consists of A: pushing a button to blow up a fleet, or B: pushing a button to blow up a planet. Sometimes they send fighters or bombers down to help the Imperial Guard out, but most of the time they’re just used as a taxi service, like the modern day navy.
Would have exterminated all of the Emperor's enemies through simple numbers long ago if they did not waste time and resources making their warships look like flying cathedrals.
Types of Ships
The Imperial Navy has four types of ships they hide their cowardly asses in. The main ships are battleships, cruisers, escorts, and fighters
Battleship - Supposedly rare, but every Grand Marshal and High Admiral has one to hide in.
- Retribution- Packing all gun batteries, the ship can destroy an entire continent in one broadside, but for some reason cannot destroy a hive city or fort with void shields...
- Emperor- The super-carrier of the 40k 'verse, the ship packs wave after wave of fighters. Unfortunately, most commanders like to use this ship as a hideout, causing the lack of sufficient air support in the ground wars.
- Apocalypse- This ship packs lances and a Nova Cannon.
- Oberon- The mixed-breed bastard of the Imperial Navy. It has lances, fighter bays, and weapon batteries. Its a powerful ship...when fighting foes half its size.
Grand Cruiser - Backwater and frontier commanders use these when battleships aren't available
- Vengeance, Exorcist, Avenger
Cruiser - Comes in three sizes and many different classes. Officers that wish to climb the chain of command start here, probably starting with an caseload of brown-nosing, followed by even more of it.
- Mars class
- Overlord, Gothic, Dictator, Dominator, Tyrant, Lunar, Dauntless Light Cruiser, Endurance Light Cruiser, Endeavor Light Cruiser, Defiant Light Cruiser
Ironclad - 8 kilometer long battering rams
Escort - Used by the Lords of Terra to take their daughters to parties, balls, and any sort of social engagement. They are known to leave really large messes.
- Sword class
- Firestorm Frigate, Sword Frigate, Cobra Destroyer, Falchion Escort
Fighter - Reusable torpedoes
Armed Freighter (in the Battlefleet) - Ships bought, borrowed or stolen and then armed in the misguided attempt to boost the strength of a fleet in desperate need of ships
Important Details
Crews - Consists of either bridge officers or slaves. Each ship needs hundreds if not thousands of men to man the ship. Whenever the crew count gets low, the Imperial Navy sets up fake strip clubs on a planet claiming "Free Hookers" to lure in unsuspecting men (and the occasional woman). Once a future crewman steps in, he/she's knocked out, bound, gagged, and taken to the ship, where they'll slave away the rest of their soon-to-be-short existence doing everything needed to make flying through space and fighting in the void possible.
Travel - The ships of the Imperium travel through the Warp using what's called a warp drive to get to where they're going. However, this isn't your happy, fancy tunnel-of-light like in Star Wars, or everything-moves-fast Star Trek, it is an alternate dimension full of Chaos. In order to avoid being turned inside-out and getting raped by every daemon in the warp, the ships rely on whats called the Gellar Field to keep the furries, undesirables, and various other evil beings out of their ship when traveling through. They rely on a Navigator that uses the Empra as a beacon to safely navigate the Warp, hence the title "Navigator".
Notable Problems
These are problems some have with the Imperial Navy and their fluff....
Ship Size - No one is quite sure how big the ships really are. One story claims the Retribution-Class is a mere 3 kilometers long, while another says it is 9 kilometers and up to 20 kilometers.
Weapon Effects - If the weapons can annihilate a continent, why can't it destroy a mere hive?
Lack of Balls - It is well-known that most Imperial Navy Officers don't have em.
An Imperial Navy fleet is most effective when Inquisitors take it over. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYXj9xOUFIM.
[Slot Reserved for Future WRITEFAGGOTRY, by Ordos Hereticus]
Gallery
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The Lord Admiral's Love Shack
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The Grand Marshal's Summer Palace of PWNAGE
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Imagine how quick land battles would be if these things actually helped
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The Bullet-Catchers of the Navy
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Another demonstration of too much spare time
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