Imperial Guard

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Basilisks are AWESOME

The Imperial Guard are the footsoldiers of the Imperium. They only exist to die gloriously in the Empra's name. Commissars (like Holt and Ciaphas Cain) ensure they do so by shooting anyone who looks like deserting. Though the average Guardsman is only capable of drawing enemy fire and shining a torch at their enemies, much more fortunate Guardsmen get to drive the tanks and other armoured vehicles fielded by the IG, which proceed to blow their enemies into little chunks from a very long way away.

It is worth noting that in a universe where the majority of the other armies are either:

• Robots
• Genetically engineered killing machines
• Horrific mutants
• Clad in powered armour
• In possession of extremely advanced technology and can jump around making damn accurate shots like Quake players
• Goddamn weeaboo
• Some combination of the above

The footsoldiers of the Imperial Guard take to the field equipped with nothing more than the 40k equivalent of flak jackets, glorified laser pointers, and a copy of the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer. They have balls of steel.

Notable Figures of the Imperial Guard

• Commissar Holt - Awesome cinematics are awesome, from Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation.
• Commissar Dan - "But Commissar Dan says we're on a blaze for glory run".
• Commissar Fuklaw
• General Sturnn - Manly damn old son of a bitch, from Dawn of War: Winter Assault. Struggles with grammar.
• Ciaphas Cain - Charming Commissar in the Harry Flashman tradition.
• Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt - Main protaganist of Gaunt's Ghosts- Man what's with all the commissars let's break this up a bit.
• Ollanius Pius - The catalyst for the Emperor finally slaying Horus. In their final duel, the Emperor did his best to redeem his son, until he saw Horus callously slaying a guardsman that could not have hurt the Champion of Chaos. Finally convinced that Horus could not be redeemed, the Emperor did slay his favorite child. Later retconned to yet another spehss mehreen which is LAME. DON'T BELIEVE GAMES WORKSHOP'S LIES.
• Vance Motherfucking Stubbs - Another manly bastard, famous for losing 100 Baneblades.

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Gallery

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  This is painfully accurate.

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  Commissar in action

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