High Lords of Terra: Difference between revisions
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*'''Grand Provost Marshal:''' Head of the Adeptus Arbites. Makes sure the Imperium's myriad jackboots know whose skulls to bust. | *'''Grand Provost Marshal:''' Head of the Adeptus Arbites. Makes sure the Imperium's myriad jackboots know whose skulls to bust. | ||
*'''Master of the Adeptus Astra Telepathica:''' The guy in charge of getting the Emperor his nom noms, making sure the Imperium's giant network of psychic email servers don't go to shit, and other boring jobs that need to be done lest the universe implode. | *'''Master of the Adeptus Astra Telepathica:''' The guy in charge of getting the Emperor his nom noms, making sure the Imperium's giant network of psychic email servers don't go to shit, and other boring jobs that need to be done lest the universe implode. | ||
*'''Master of the Astronomican:''' While the Adeptus Astronomica isn't nearly as large or influential as the other members' branches, they keeps the light of the | *'''Master of the Astronomican:''' While the Adeptus Astronomica isn't nearly as large or influential as the other members' branches, they keeps the light of the [[Astronomican]] burning. The Astronomican in turn keeps every other High Lord from being fucked inside out by [[daemon]]s on their way to meetings, so they let this guy have a chair. | ||
The remaining three positions are chaired on a rotating basis by people too weak and ineffectual to get uppity. They include: | The remaining three positions are chaired on a rotating basis by people too weak and ineffectual to get uppity. They include: |
Revision as of 22:30, 17 October 2011
The High Lords of Terra are the rulers of the Imperium of Man.
So after Horus got his heresy on, the Emperor had to ascend the Golden Throne to keep him alive. Since he wasn't dead, Roboute Guilliman reasoned that a new leadership was needed to guide the Imperium. He set up the High Lords from the old Council of Terra, with himself as Lord Commander of the Imperium, inviting the heads of the Administratum, the Officio Assassinorum, and the Adeptus Mechanicus to the table as well. As time went on, the Ecclesiarchy, the Inquisition, the Navigators, and others were also invited to the table. While it's plainly evident that they are not making the Imperium better, there is some evidence that they may be making the Imperium worse than it actually needs to be. So, once again, thanks for nothing, Girlyman.
The High Lords are theoretically a dynamic body that changes based on the needs of the Imperium. In reality though the same nine old fucks decide everything millennium in and millennium out. Said fucks include:
- Master of the Administratum: The head of the Imperial bureaucracy, the Master of the Administratum is the considered the most powerful of the High Lords, and they are fucking territorial about that.
- Ecclesiarch: The head of the Adeptus Ministorum, of Ecclesiarchy, the Ecclesiarch briefly usurped the Master of the Administratum as most powerful High Lord. Goge Vandire solved that problem by being head of both, then went nuts with power and had to be killed by the Sisters of Battle.
- Grand Master of Assassins: The head of the Officio Assassinorum, the Grand Master is constantly watched by the other High Lords, out of concern that he might assassinate the others. Mostly because one Grand Master did. Funny story.
- Fabricator-General of Mars: The head of the Adeptus Mechanicus will occasionally take time from meditating on the Machine God to help run the Imperium.
- Inquisitorial Representative: A member of the Inquisition sent to insure that the Emperor's pet psychopaths are up to date on what laws to enforce. Interestingly, there are term limits on how long an Inquisitor can be representative.
- Parternoval Envoy: Representing the Navis Nobilite, this guy makes sure that the Navigators have a say on what's going on, so they won't get declared abominations to the holy human form.
- Grand Provost Marshal: Head of the Adeptus Arbites. Makes sure the Imperium's myriad jackboots know whose skulls to bust.
- Master of the Adeptus Astra Telepathica: The guy in charge of getting the Emperor his nom noms, making sure the Imperium's giant network of psychic email servers don't go to shit, and other boring jobs that need to be done lest the universe implode.
- Master of the Astronomican: While the Adeptus Astronomica isn't nearly as large or influential as the other members' branches, they keeps the light of the Astronomican burning. The Astronomican in turn keeps every other High Lord from being fucked inside out by daemons on their way to meetings, so they let this guy have a chair.
The remaining three positions are chaired on a rotating basis by people too weak and ineffectual to get uppity. They include:
- Lord Commander of the Segmentum Solar: Naval commander in charge of guarding humanity's chewy center.
- Lord High Admiral of the Imperial Navy: An admiral in charge of one of those other, non-solary segmentums.
- Lord Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard: The head red shirt. Might get some input on where billions of his men will be sacrificed today.
- Cardinal of the Holy Synod of Terra: Some old guy from a group of old guys who spend all their time arguing about slight deviations in doctrine. Their only useful function is electing the head of the Ecclesiarchy who gets them their chair on the council. Mentioning that this is a conflict of interest is considered heresy.
- The Abbess Sanctorum of the Adepta Sororitas: Another ecclesiarchal mouth piece. Will probably lose her seat by the time Games Workshop finishes its campaign of brutalizing the sisters in canon.
- Captain-General of the Adeptus Custodes: Got on the council by virtue of being the Emperor's BFF, and has very little to actually say about galactic affairs. Only slightly less useless than....
- Chancellor of the Estate Imperium: The Imperium's head paper pusher. Seriously, he's a glorified secretary.
- The Speaker for the Chartist Captains: Leader of the Merchant fleet, yer we don't know who he is either