Hassan: Difference between revisions
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=Crazy Hassan Anecdotes and Tales= | =Crazy Hassan Anecdotes and Tales= | ||
Revision as of 20:10, 20 October 2016
This article is awesome. Do not fuck it up. |
Hassan, also known as Crazy Hassan, is a used camel salesman. He's about average build with dark skin and silver teeth dot his broad smile; he wears dusty robes. Atop his head is a turban and atop his turban is a fez. Some say he's a multiversal singularity, other say he's a time traveler. What we do know is that whenever you are in need of cheap and affordable transport, Hassan's tent will be there. Although the customers may be baffled to see him, he will nonetheless try (and succeed) to sell them camels and camel-related accessories. He will usually throw in a pack of dates and other seemingly unrelated items like a jacket that's about a size too big for anyone who receives it. Every customer that is visited by Hassan leaves with a camel, whether they wanted one or not.
The most peculiar thing about Hassan's business is that he will conduct it anywhere. He operates mostly in the desert, but can (and will) show up in tundra, north pole, grasslands, sea shores and other terrain types. Always with camels.
His camels themselves are equally mysterious. As far as anyone has been able to discern, they are indeed regular Camelus Dromedarius. He may carry other breeds as well if asked, however there is nothing special or magical about them. But when Hassan sells you a camel, it will perform exactly to his specifications.
Hassan also has a wife. Some say she's a princess, or a queen. Others say she's a desert beauty, rescued by Hassan himself from a life in a Harem. She herself is part of the mystery surrounding Hassan's presence. She is a skilled rider of many mounting beasts, not just camels, and her beauty is beyond compare.
I don't care what you fucking degenerates do in a daily basis, I don't take orders, you gave me one, you are in my blacklist forever. I will destroy this site someday in the future. ^^